from seven to five: a SIMULBLOG!...

Might we be in for a shocking double elimination? Might we be in for one shocking and one not-so-shocking boot?

This is about the time in the season where the unpredictable predictably happens, and with no "save" to protect the favored who knows. That's what makes the show fun. And maddening.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a Simulblog, where I'm writing as fast as I can, typos and all, while the action is happening live in the east, so if it's not on where you are and you want to be shocked at the result, then time to go elsewhere. But come back when you know and dish with the rest of us.

Because the show is about to start.
_____

Ryan opens the show wishing us all a Happy Earth Day! Green Power! There were 45 million votes tallied last night.

Paula is the choreographer for tonight's group sing. This could be interesting, considering the highlights of the rehearsal session.

Well, it's definitely ugly with polyester leisure suits. (What were we thinking in the 70s?) But they look like they're having fun and it wasn't half bad. Paula is called to the stage and the kids present her with a flower bouquet approximately the size of Utah.
_____

The Crappy Ford Commercial celebrates Earth Day.

The lights are dimmed.

Lil is told to stand. She's reminded of her really bad reviews from last night. She's sent to the far side of the stage.

And she's sent home. WOW. That was a quick kill.

They make her sing again.
_____

Freda Payne is on the stage. Okay, now that's one non-Idol related artist I can welcome on results night. She sings Band of Gold, of course. Thelma Houston is next and sings Don't Leave Me This Way. K.C. without the Sunshine Band (but with some unidentified singer/dancers) shows up with Get Down Tonight.
_____

The kids are back on the sofa, and Ryan is back at the podium.

Kris is told to stand. They rehash the whole ladies department/clothing nonsense from last night. And he's safe.

Adam is next. He's safe.

Danny's turn. He's wearing his contacts again. And he's safe too.

Anoop is told to stand. He's in the bottom three and takes a stool.

Allison and Matt are told to stand. Matt is safe; Allison is sent to join Anoop on the naughty stools.
_____

Archie has returned! Is it possible that he looks even younger than last year? Or is it just me. He's keeping his eyes open! Yay Archie! Can't say I'm fond of the song, but I hope he sells a gazillion copies of it.
_____

Anoop and Allison are standing center stage. Anoop is told the bad news. He gets a big hug from his castmate. The crowd stands, obviously appreciating this classy young man. He reprises his song from last night and this time hits his final note and properly puts all of the lyrics in their proper places. Much nicer.

We get to watch two funeral videos as we say goodbye to Anoop and Lil and hello to the top five who will sing two songs each next week.

See you then.

david domination...

The David Cook World Domination has begun.

Okay, maybe not the world, but certainly the Billboard charts.

Shattering Hannah Montana's debut record of six titles on the Billboard Hot 100, David Cook debuts on the chart with 11 titles showing up on this week's list, the first time that the Idol's downloads have been included. (We all knew that between the Davids, they were probably taking up a huge chunk, but now we have that verified.)

Cook's eleven titles also is the most titles on the 100 list since the Beatles claimed 14 spots back in 1964.

Cook's domination is, of course, spearheaded by Time of My Life, his coronation song - magic rainbows and all - which will debut at #3 on the Hot 100 and #1 on Digital Downloads. Fourteen titles will land on the Hot Digital Songs list.

David Archuleta isn't doing too shabbily either. Three of his titles will be included on both lists.

For more information, find the article here.

busy, busy, busy, but #1...

It didn't take long for Cook fans to put their money where their votes were Tuesday, as The Time of My Life is flying up the iTunes charts, and I don't think the guy has even gotten a chance to sleep yet.

Cook has made typical appearances since his coronation last night, but he won't have any down time, with appearances scheduled from coast to coast over the next week.

Here's a rundown:

Thursday (today):
The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno
TMZ on Fox

Friday, May 23:
Larry King Live (w/Archuleta) on CNN

Tuesday, May 27
Regis & Kelly

Wednesday, May 28
Ellen

Both Davids will be appearing and performing on the Plaza on the Today Show (NBC) next Thursday, May 29. If anyone finds out other appearances, please let us know in the comments.

And while you're watching, keep an eye out for this:


Priceless! American Idol now ranks right up there with the Super Bowl.

(A better version of the commercial is here.)

david wins: a SIMULBLOG!...

Five months of investment, both from their side and from ours, comes down to tonight in the Nokia. The finale, if done properly, is always a fun send-off to a successful season as we get to see the kids we haven't seen in ages come back and strut their best Brady Bunch selves to cheezy choreography and fun and fluffy group numbers.

And we get to find out which of the kids gets to jet all over hell's half acre to hit the talk show circuit.

Because THIS, for the last time this year, is American Idol!

And this is a simulblog, so I'm gonna sit through the whole two hours, trying to describe what I'm seeing as the action is happening on the east coast, so if you are in the west and want to wait, here is not the place to be. But come back and cheer or weep after the results. With the rest of us cheerers and weepers.

Simon is already backpedaling on his KNOCKOUT assessment last night, still giving the night to Archie, but not by the margin he originally thought, after having watched it back. (Or checked Dial Idol, whichever.)

And let's all just have a moment to hope there are no more boxing references.

Thank you.

Ryan opens the show asking what the closest finale ever looks like as the Davids, dressed in white, stare each other down.

The vote was incredible, he says: 97.5 million, smashing the old record by 23 million. One David got 56 percent, the other 44 percent. And even Ruben got some. Ruben, in the audience, smiles. Holy crap. That's a blowout.

Mikalah Gordon is in KC with the Cookie people and Matt Rogers is in Utah with Camp Archuleta.

We start the night with a group number with the So You Think You Can Dance kids. So the choreography doesn't suck. Too much. They're telling us to Get Ready, because here they come. Tweedily dee.
_______

David Cook hits the stage and is joined by Archuleta with Hero. Dang, those boys can sing well together. Lovely harmony. Yay! Please let that be on iTunes tomorrow.

Too bad that great performance is followed by a Guru Pitka segment.

Syesha Mercado gets to sing with her "special guest." And her guest is Seal. Now that's cool guest. Not a good combo. Dave and Dave should have sung again. But Syesha looks FAB, and she's having fun, so all is good.
_______

Jason Castro is back, singing - by himself - Hallelujah. He's still so cute. And that was phenomenal.

The Ford commercial is a retrospective of video bloopers, which segues into the time the boys get their Escape Hybrid keys. Archie assures us he has a license.

Here come the girls. They are doing a Donna Summer collection. Brooke soloes, followed by Kristy, and Amanda looks like she's actually not wanting to die. Yay Amanda! And Carly looks great in red, but not nearly as great as Ramiele Malubay. And out comes Donna Summer herself to sing her - wait for it - new hit single. It never stops, does it? I like Donna Summer and all, but I would rather have seen more of Amanda Overmyer.
_______

Carly Smithson and Michael Johns get to duo on The Letter. Great idea. Great pairing. MJ has a haircut. And he's still hawt. Oh they are terrific. Please, please let this be available on iTunes!!

Jimmy Kimmel is called upon to provide us with a review of the season, and he can't wait for the first Sanjaya joke. Sanjaya, sitting in the audience, laughs. That was quick and clever.

Things are moving quickly.

The guys get to "rock out." Michael Johns starts the Bryan Adams medley, handing off to David Hernandez, who gives way to Jason Castro then to Chikezie. The other Davids enter down the staircase together singing Heaven. Then, as expected, the guys give the stage to Adams himself, with our guys singing backup. And they all look like they're having a ball.
_______

It's time for David Cook to sing Sharp Dressed Man with ZZ Top. And he has a new guitar, but with the same familiar AC initials. Hell, even I am clapping. My dog thinks I'm nuts.

KC is going crazy and Mrs. Gentry is wearing a classic DC tee shirt. She's my fave elementary school teacher.

Now it's time for Brooke White with Graham Nash and Teach Your Children. She is barefoot (Yay Brooke!) and her guitar. And I want this on iTunes too.

Okay, this is shaping up to be the Best. Finale. Ever.
_______

These little boys must be the Jonas Brothers that I've heard so much about. I wouldn't know because the tweeners screamed over Ryan's intro. Have I mentioned yet how I am hoping for a mosh pit "accident?" Dare I say that Archie sings better than all of those brothers combined?

Now, of course, we get to revisit the reason I didn't watch the first five weeks. Auditions. Ugh. Except James Lewis. I lurrved him. Let My People Go... But they bring back Renaldo, our brother, complete with marching band and the USC cheerleaders. Ricky Minor must have refused to accompany him. But Paula and Randy do. Whatever. No iTunes, please.
_______

One Republic has taken the stage to sing the "smash hit they wrote" Apologize. And the appearance of David Archuleta explains the reason. (I'm still trying to figure out the reason for the brothers...) I am not fond of this song. I think it has a one-sentence lyric. Utah likes it though. David's grandfather is proud. Matt Rogers needs to cut out the caffiene.

Jordin Sparks is in the house, skipping down the stairs in gold. She doesn't sound like she's suffering too many ill effects from the vocal cord injury she had. Good on her.
_______

Oh goody. Nigel should not be allowed to play with special effects. We have a circa 1970 Gladys Knight heading up try-out Pips Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey, Jr. yay. Okay, there were some amusing moments, but I would have rather heard Amanda Overmyer.

The screams are starting for Carrie Underwood. Jordin could take some fashion advice from Miss Carrie. Is it me or does her new song sound pretty much like her last song? I know. It's just me.
_______

Did y'all catch the Guitar Hero commercials featuring the Davids? Tom Cruise who? But there was just something about seeing Archie in his undies that was just. not. right.

The girls are back on the stage, this time dressed in black, setting up George Michael. Now the guys take over, dressed dapper in suits with Father Figure. (Always think of Ace Young when I hear that song.) I love this group, but dang, they don't sing well together. George Michael is introduced. He looks creepy. Sorry.
_______

Finally it's time. Eleven percentage points separate the two Davids, as Ryan told us at the top of the show. I'm surprised they revealed the magnitude of the win. The judges give them pep talks, and Simon apologizes to David Cook.

I want to slap the vote bringer-inner. The boys have their arms around each other's shoulders.

Ryan builds up the suspense before giving it to David Cook! He's crying. I'm crying. The crowd is nuts. His mom is on stage to hug her son.

Now we get to hear the real winning song. The confetti flies.

Congratulations Cookie. And thanks.

miscellaneous mutterings...

With less than three hours remaining until we mark the end of season seven, I feel the need to say stuff, especially considering this blog will pretty much wrap up shop and take a hiatus for awhile after the hoopla surrounding this most intriguing year dies down. So you can either keep reading or resume your regularly-scheduled life, cause I'm gonna cuss.

The choice is yours. But this is for me.

I keep reading spoilers and predictions about tonight's finale. And I can't help but get a little antsy. The talk is all about guest stars, guest stars, surprise appearances and guest stars. I swear, if the producers forget that tonight is not about holograms and fancy special effects, that it's not about opening the stage to the "biggest star in the world" I will swear. I swear I will swear.

This is the show that celebrates those kids. Those twelve kids and those two guys who have given of their sweat, have forsaken sleep, have cried, have been applauded and have been humiliated over the past few months all so we can cry, laugh, criticize, condemn and applaud them. It's their show. Give them their limelight one last time.

My ideal opening? I want the Davids to stand center stage, with a single spotlight illuminating them and I want them to sing the damn phone book. Maybe then Randy Jackson will shut the hell up. Or buy a damn thesaurus.

I want there to be confetti, cause confetti is cool, and I want there to be flames like they had for Leona Lewis. And I want the cannons that shoot the confetti and flames to be in the mosh pit. Immolation assures good ratings.

There. Got that off my chest.

It's been a very interesting day (thank God for vacations!) reading the various message boards (some of which are very scary places for which I do deserve combat pay). The Archie fans are basking in the glow of their boy's success last night, and the Cookie fans are still a little ticked at the unbalanced attack on their boy by the judging panel.

I don't dispute that Archuleta won the evening, but I hardly think - even after a rewatching this morning - that it was close to a KO. (And was that boxing metaphor taken, perhaps, about 50 minutes too far?) And it's bringing out all kinds of conspiracy theories because, let's face it, aside from a stripper past and a DUI arrest, there hasn't been that much in the way of controversy this year. And this show wouldn't be American Idol if there weren't at least one conspiracy theory floating around.

Were last night's judges comments scripted to vault the young Archuleta into the crown because Simon Fuller, et. al. are anxious to get him ready for the Disney channel pilot season? Or were those comments an attempt to ass-kick the Cook fans out of complacency, so they would flock to their phones to dial and text their fingers bloody?

After all, Simon did make the rounds of the talk shows this week, assuredly making the Cook victory prediction and he did give David Cook a "you and I have a secret" wink after his last critique. (And it's not the same kind of secret he has with Seacrest.) So why the switch after praising Cook the week before for taking risks then ripping him a new one last night for not playing it safe with the last song?

Was that a bus? Or was that a clever ploy to ignite his fans to powervote and get ambivalent fans to get off the couch when they otherwise might have thought Cook had it in the bag? Or might they want to boost the suspense to see the front-runner Cook get TKO'd by the previous frontrunner Archuleta, that little upstart who finally broke free of those shackles that had been confining him.

I don't know how much validity any of these theories have, but they sure have contributed to interesting speculation while we await the final verdict. And it really shows that, after seven seasons, we all tend to watch this show with incredibly cynical eyes.

What is interesting is that, if you listen to the media, tonight's going to be a slam dunk for Archuleta. And I can see it going that way. After all, he's a cute kid with a great voice and the entertainment world is filled with cute kids with not-so-great voices who are making gazillions of dollars. Get his daddy out of the picture, get him some performance experience, and he could become a marketable commodity.

But if you go beyond the media, the prediction pundits are all calling for a Cook victory. I am not the biggest fan of DialIdol as a prediction tool when there are more than five contestants, mainly because it's a self-selected sample of users and the margin of error is something along the size of the Atlantic. But I can't argue its accuracy when there are three or less contestants, and it's never been wrong at two. And right now David Cook is sitting on an 11-point lead. Of course it can't account for text votes and whether the users are a representative sample of the overall voting population is an issue. A four-point lead, I would shrug off. But double digits says something. Like maybe people did pick up those phones (or, more accurately, fire up those phone modems) with a fervor.

But the most telling are the betting sites. Now we're talking cash, not pride. The online betting sites still have David Cook as the overwhelming favorite to win tonight, last night notwithstanding. That I don't take lightly. Betting sites don't part with their money easily.

So tonight could shape up to be a real barnburner (that's kinda like a humdinger) after all. We haven't had one of those since Ruben edged out Clay in season two, after Clay was told, by Simon, that he'd probably won the competition on the strength of his closing number.

Cook should win. Of that I feel strongly. He came out of nowhere, totally unpimped and has had the most innovative, risky, edgy performances consistently throughout the season. Archuleta started strong, faded a bit in the middle but came back as a true fighter (sorry for the boxing pun) in the final round. Simon told David Cook that he didn't have "that winning moment." He was right. But so what.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. If all the winner needs is a moment, why did this thing start in January? If all we want is a moment, let's just run a three-week summer mini-series. Thankfully this ending isn't like some of the past seasons, where we ended up with one deserving and one less than deserving contestant. This year we have two deservers.

It's just that one deserves it more.

If Cook does win tonight, what a perfect scenerio last night provided. The kid got his glory moment on the stage - one that he earned and deserved. He will be remembered for that, as well he should. The other gets his glory moment tonight. Both get contracts, both get media attention. It will be billed as the upset, the show gets extended attention, more than just the Thursday chatter, as fans battle it out for weeks, rushing the stores (or iTunes) to prove, monetarily, that their David was the true winner.

If last night was a set-up, it was well-played.

But I guess we'll find out tonight.

Now will somebody please hurry and install that killer cannon.

it's down to 2: david wins...

What would happen if they threw a boxing match and one competitor didn't show up? What would they do if they threw a boxing match and the judges had already decided in advance who was going to win?

Kinda like Paula knew Jason's performance was crap before he had even had a chance to sing it.

I don't know when I've ever seen such a one-sided final performance show in the seven seasons of this show.

There is no argument that David Archuleta turned in probably the best string of performances he's had in weeks. I won't even argue that he won the night. And I won't argue that David Cook was just missing something, even though I can't find the right word for it. Spark, maybe. Fight, maybe. Desire, probably.

Maybe he got the memo from Daughtry that not winning has all kinds of benefits. (Which it does.) And he took a dive.

Whatever Cook didn't bring to the table, though, Archuleta brought extra. After peaking in the early episodes, Archie has been plagued by dropped and forgotten lyrics, ballad boredom and watched his stock drop as quickly as David Cook's stock skyrocketed.

But there was none of that tonight, as young David, perhaps feeling free of paternal pressure finally, showed more spirit, more animation, more personality and more presence than he has all season. And that was just in one song.

My complaint about this episode is not with the Davids. It's with the panel of judges, one of whom cannot seem, no matter how much money he's paid, to stray from the hot molten zoned phone book, who tonight made it abundantly clear which of the Davids is supposed to win. Hell, they couldn't even make it close to heighten the suspense.

But here they are, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision and, for the first time, separated by "rounds," in the spirit of the "match" instead of the traditional worst to first.

Clive Davis round, the living corpse with the golden ears.

David Cook (I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For). Clive Davis tells Cook that this song represents a generation searching. Cookie doesn't play around much with the arrangement, which is smart considering it's a U2 song, using the stage and the "judges stage" to good effect. Unlike last week his voice is strong, but there's just a fire that I've grown used to that just isn't there.

David Archuleta (Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me). Clive always seems to choose this song for the guys. Okay, so maybe just once before, so Archie runs the risk of being compared to the versions that preceded him. He plays it very smart, switching it up from the versions Idol addicts recognize, showing more animation and more stage presence than he has all season. By far. The judges call it (sorta) his best performance of the season, and I can't disagree with that.

Judges: Round One to Archuleta.
Me: Round One to Archuleta.
_______

David Cook (Dream Big). Considering the batch of songs Cook had to choose from, Simon was right: he did the best he could. It was sung well, but it just didn't "fit." The ending made the song, but seriously, can't there be a better song out there somewhere?

David Archuleta (In This Moment). Again, I'm not gonna slam Archie for the poor song - good heaven's could those lyrics be any worse? - but Archie's issue all season is that he stumbles with complicated lyrics - too many syllables, perhaps, if they're sung in quick succession. He's fine with the chorus, but not fine enough, even though Randy pulls out that insipid "phone book zone" comment.

Judges: Round two to Archuleta.
Me: Round two to Cook.
_______

David Cook (The World I Know). Cook has his acoustic guitar, takes this one slow and easy. And beautifully. He ends his last song in tears, to thunderous applause and gets told he should have taken the easier road and chosen a proven winner like Billie Jean or Hello. That's stupid. He gets extra points from me for not giving us a retread that is easily available on iTunes.

David Archuleta (Imagine). Taking on a song performed already to great reviews is always risky. (Ask Diana DeGarmo.) But Archuleta knows his season was defined, in many ways, by this song performed back in February, throws in some extra vocal acrobatics, and turns in another fine performance.

Judges: Round three and match to Archuleta.
Me: Round three a draw.
_______

I don't know who's gonna win, and I don't care. Both are guaranteed a contract, and, as has been proved, there is a ton more freedom with second (or third or fourth) place.

David will win, that's for certain. If David wins based only on tonight, it will be the youngster. If David win based on a body of work throughout the season, Archuleta will get Cooked.

So, who will win? Answer the poll and please leave a comment, showing the respect you always do to fans of both Davids.

CAUTION: song spoilers...

This entry will be updated as the Clive picks and the crappy coronation song titles are revealed.

But here's the scoop so far:

David Archuleta: Imagine, Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me and (coronation song) In this Moment.

David Cook: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Dream Big (coronation song), and The World I Know.

Other stuff:

David Cook's brother Adam, an attorney from Terre Haute, IN, will be in the audience watching, once again, his little brother. This time he's there thanks to the generosity of Cookie fans everywhere and an anonymous donor who helped foot the bill for the trip to LA.

Rumors are swirling that the two crappy coronation songs the Davids have chosen are Here I Am (Archuleta) and No Turning Back (Cook).

Sample of insipid lyrics:

Here I Am/My Arms Are Open Wide
Here I Am/I've Nothing Left to Hide
...I'm Where I'm Supposed to Be
Here I Am.

Poor kid.

A little better, but not much...

There's No Turning Back
Giving Me a New Sensation
Giving In to All Temptation
There's No Turning Back
Need to Feel Acceleration
Need to Feel the Elevation

Making me prone to hyperventilation.

Oh well. The coronation song isn't called crappy for nothing, I suppose.

this just in...

It's down to hours before the last performance episode of the seventh season, and spoilers are coming in.

Here's what we know about tonight:

Archuleta will sing Imagine, a reprise from his semi-final competition.

NEW! David Cook will become the first American Idol to get clearance for a U2 song in competition, and will sing Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.

As more song spoilers come in, they will be added here.

But while we're waiting for tonight's news, how about one more trip down finale memory lane, ending with my personal favorite moment - evah.

It was season four, which had been a refreshing one after the dismal season three. The finale promised the "biggest medley yet" and did it ever deliver. Each of the 12 kids got time with a celebrity guest, including a stunning performance by Vonzell Solomon with Billy Preston, but the highlight was the end.

Whouda thunk Skynyrd would ever perform on the Idol stage?



I never get tired of watching that.

setting the table: a SIMULBLOG!...

The end of another very long season is in sight, but not before we slash and dash the hopes and dreams of one more kid on the way to final week of the seventh season.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a simulblog, which means I'm typing and publishing as the action is happening live on the east coast, so if you don't wanna know, it's time for you to leave. If you want to be totally spoiled - or bored - for the next hour, then hang out and chat!

After all we only have one more week left. And the show is about to start...
_______

Ryan tells us that 56 million votes were called in last night to decide the fate of the three remaining kids. Andrew Lloyd Webber is in the house, as are most of this season's contestants. Fantasia is also in the house and will be singing.

Syesha and the Davids combine because there ain't no stopping them now. Kool choreography and it helps that they've dropped about nine people, because this year's group sings have been nothing short of, well, bad.
_______

The crappy Ford commercial asks how far heaven is, as the kids dream about getting keys to Pontiacs. Just foolin'.

We get the recap from last night. And as soon as that's over, it's time to bring out Fantasia, because we have hometown visits to see! Fantasia has hair that is constantly changing color. Tonight it's kinda pink. Or orange. Depending on the angle of the light.

She's as shy as ever. I honestly don't know know what else to say about that appearance.
_______

The kids are backstage. Ryan calls Archuleta to the stage. We get to see his visit to hometown Murray, Utah. He went to his high school, the television station, the Jazz game and the Gateway Mall. And he cried. And he has a really cool mayor with a really cool moustache.

David says he's embarrassed about all the tearful footage, gets his reviews from the night before and gets his funeral video before he's even been declared dead. Smart move considering they won't have time next week to show each of the remaining kids' journeys, so they'll just do them tonight.
_______

Syesha Mercado is summoned. She says her trip home was "amazing." She visited the television station, the museum, hugged a baby or seven, got a parade, visited her high school and got to take a helicopter ride. She cried a lot too.

She is reminded of her reviews. Simon says Paula was too hard on her. Simon is so funny.

And she gets to watch her funeral video to the sound of Fantasia's crappy coronation song.
_______

David Cook is next. He says he didn't mean to audition, but to accompany his little bro Andrew, who gets called to the stage. The Cook brothers and Ryan get to watch his hometown highlight reel. David got to do the weather at the television station, surprise his elementary school music teacher, have a parade and throw out the first pitch at a Royals game. He cried too.

Cook gets reminded of his reviews. And he too gets to watch his funeral video.

The three kids are standing center stage as we get thrown to commercial.
_______

The kids are holding hands with Syesha in the center. Randy tells them they all did an amazing job. Paula pretty much repeats what Randy said.

The lights are dimmed. They're holding hands again. Ryan announces the two going forward, and their names are David.

Syesha gets to sing more more time, as we get reminders of her journey on the big screen behind her.

Syesha, you set the record for most appearances in the bottom and yet you hung in there. You are a fighter. And Broadway is waiting for you to finish that tour. Congratulations, well done and so long.

Please discuss!

three singers, two openings...

It was a chance to take on songs handed to them, rather than chosen by them. It was a chance to sing on the last show of the seventh season. It was a night when the judges and I were on (almost) complete opposite sides.

But the bus was all gassed up and aiming for the stage. And pieces of Syesha are hanging from the rear view mirror.

The ballad-heavy episode certainly wasn't the best final three episode ever. It was, though, safe. If your name is David.

But anyway, here are my impressions, subject to review and revision, but as always, from worst to first:

David Archuleta (Producer's choice: Longer): Yes, this was a crapper of a song choice, but he didn't have much say in the matter. Again, he does what he can with the song, but sitting squarely again on a stool midstage does not help sell it. The judges assure him he'll be in the finals. Because they know the bus is getting ready to back up and make sure Syesha is under it.

Syesha Mercado (Randy's choice: If I Ain't Got You): Syesha looks stunning in a sequined gown and delivers a well-sung, but unoriginal version of this Alicia Keys song. She gets tepid reviews, and I'm so unmoved that I can't think of anything more to say.

David Cook (Personal choice: Dare You to Move): Paula finally recognizes that sometimes songs just don't work in the split-second allowed for the live performance, and never was there better proof than this. David is just "off" in the first part of the song, but once he's back in comfortable range, the song ends.

David Archuleta (Personal choice: With You): David Archuleta said "my boo." If you had told me that six weeks ago, I would have laughed. The judges applaud his attempt at a song about a hundred miles out of his comfort zone, but make it clear that his choice was a bad one. Okay, so he missed some notes, and the song fit him like mittens fit a dog, but, and maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there, it looked as though he was actually having fun for the first time in weeks. And that made me smile.

Syesha Mercado (Producer's choice: Hit Me Up): Finally something upbeat! Too bad she seems to be chasing the beat, never quite able to catch it. The judges, expectedly but inexplicably tell her she's toast, either in an attempt to spur her voters to dial harder or to convince them it's not in their interest to try.

David Archuleta (Paula's choice: And So It Goes): First a disclaimer. I do not like this song, even sung by Billy Joel. It's bland, and it's boring. But David does the best he can with it. Randy slobbers all over him, like usual. Simon though, is right: it was predictable, nothing spellbinding, but pleasantly fine.

David Cook (Producer's choice: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing): After an awesome open, David closes the show - with composer Diane Warren in the audience - a bit out of tune in the front part, but wraps it up in true David Cook style. It wasn't bad, it wasn't good, and it was better than most of the others on this night, but I guess I was hoping for more. Simon calls the night for him anyway.

Syesha Mercado (Personal choice: Fever): I knew that somewhere in the judges' critiques we would hear cabaret the minute I saw the chair on stage. This is another song that I've grown tired of, but, for possibly the first time ever, I got it. The judges have apparently been sucking out of Paula's cup, or they've been told who to praise and who, umm, not to, but this was Syesha's performance of the season, despite the universal panning that she received from the scoring table.

David Cook (Simon's choice: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face): Okay, does it make me a nerd to say I had tears? If so, then I'm a nerd. With wet eyes. The only downside to this performance was that it's a tough song to condense into the alloted 60 seconds, but David sings the first verse flawlessly before powering into the ending, hitting high notes I don't think he's hit all year. Simon tells him it's one of his best performances to date. I just hope it's the studio selection on iTunes.


I hate the final three results show. I always cry, even if I don't really like the third-place finisher. My brain is telling me that the David fans X 2 will be seeking emergency finger care in the morning, leaving Syesha the odd-woman out. In fairness, she deserves a spot in next week's show, as do both of the Davids, but realistically she hasn't much of a chance.

Or will we be treated to that shocker that has eluded us this season? Will the glowing David reviews leave one David in the lurch. Oh hell, I don't know.

As much as I want to call for an unexpected Archuleta boot, I am expecting Syesha to hear Ruben singing.

So what do you think?

UPDATED! last three standing...

It's arguably the most stressful night of the season: final three night. Two of the kids will sing in the last show of the seventh year. The other, coming oh so close, will be relegated to one of the aisle seats, watching from the audience and after months of putting in as much effort as the other two, will play nothing more than filler during the grand finale next Wednesday. (And as an added kick in the butt, #3 doesn't even get to make the talk show circuit, because rehearsals for the finale start right away.)

So after tonight, all three have a chance of winning. After tomorrow night, one just loses.

Three contestants, three songs. One of the songs is his or her personal selection, no restrictions (except clearance issues). One of the songs is chosen by one of the judges. And the third song is drawn from a fish bowl, errr, chosen by the producers.

Of course, history and superstitions still abound. Until last year when Jordin was first up on final three night, every singer who led off final three night got kicked to the curb the following day. I still maintain that the order of performance on this night is dictated by vote accrued during the season, from least-voted to most-voted. That's why #1s always got the boot. It wasn't some lead-off curse; they just didn't have the votes in the first place to stand a chance.

And if that's the case, I strongly expect Syesha Mercado to lead off tonight, followed by Archuleta and ending with Cook. But we'll see. UPDATE: Performance order is Archuleta/Syesha/Cook.

And then there's the Paula curse. In five seasons of judges choosing song selections (individual judges did not choose songs during the first season), Paula has never chosen a song for the kid who eventually wins. Clay Aiken finished second in season two, Jasmine Trias got totally thrown under the bus in season three, Bo Bice couldn't overcome the Underwood express in season four and Elliott Yamin got shortchanged in season five.

Tonight Archuleta gets to sing a Paula selection. Seems the kid is just not having a good week.

Now for the song spoilers. We've known of the judges' selections since the three contestants visited their respective hometowns, and some of the other choices are making the rounds as legitimate. I am not making any claims as to their validity; I'm just passing along the titles that seem to be the general consensus, but I have yet to see any single source, so take them for what they're worth.

Song selections are now official. Seems that Cook has pulled a fast one on us with a switch.

Syesha Mercado:

Personal choice: Fever (audio by Peggy Lee)
Randy's choice: If I Ain't Got You (video by, well, Syesha. Seems she's familiar with the song.)
Producer's choice: Hit Me Up (video by Gia Farrell)

David Archuleta:

Personal choice: With You (video by Chris Brown)
Paula's choice: And So It Goes (video by Billy Joel)
Producers choice: Longer (audio by Dan Fogelberg; video of record player)

David Cook:

Personal choice: The World I Know (video by Collective Soul).
Simon's choice: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (video by Roberta Flack)
Producer's choice: unknown
David's other two selections are Dare You to Move (I suspect his personal choice) and I Don't Want To Miss a Thing (I suspect the producer's choice.)

The fact that Syesha has already performed Randy's choice on television is interesting. Did he know that? Or did she just get lucky? And will she sit - again - on the piano to deliver it?

Simon's choice for David Cook is fascinating. It has the potential to be spellbinding. Or to put an entire voting audience to sleep. The choice is David's.

David Archuleta gets the short straw. Not only did the kid get thrown a curve by having his little league parent abruptly yanked after all of these months breathing so incessantly down his neck, but he gets possibly the worst Billy Joel song imaginable. (I like the Fogelberg tune, and if he can pull off the Chris Brown song, I'll be the first one applauding.) If any of the three is at a disadvantage, therefore, it's him. (Although the continuous coverage of Dadchuleta-gate could garner him some extra sympathy votes.)

All of the makings for a David-squared finale have been in place since Beatles week. We haven't had an all-male final since season two, and we haven't had a same-gender final for three years. Somehow I have a gnawing feeling that we're due for that shocker we've been deprived of so far.

So, what do you think?

As soon as song spoilers are out, I'll update it here.

david loses daddy...

I have avoided all season discussing the stage monster that, allegedly, is Jeff Archuleta, David's dad. But it seems Daddy Archuleta stepped over the line, and has now been banished from the backstages of American Idol, much in the same way he was reportedly barred from the backstage of Star Search when young David was a contestant there.

One thing you do not do, aside from allowing your 17-year-old son to actually breathe on his own, is cost American Idol money. And, reportedly, when the senior Archuleta insisted that David insert a little Sean Kingston, which he had been strictly prohibited from doing, into his Stand By Me on Tuesday night, the additional dollars added up.

And, as a result, Daddy got booted.

Read about it here.

following the kids back home...

It's Syesha Day in Florida! And her FOX affiliate is following her with live streaming video.

UPDATE: Randy has chosen Alicia Keys' If I Ain't Got You for Syesha's judges choice selection.


And it's David Cook day in Missouri where he'll be in a parade with Ronald McDonald!

And his FOX station is giving fans two - TWO - "Cook Channels" to keep track of the boy, complete with chat. And according to this station, Simon has chosen The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (Roberta Flack) for Cook's judges choice. And David, reportedly, has chosen The World I Know, by Collective Soul, as his personal selection.



And in Utah, it is D-Day, rain or shine. Archie has his own tracker and live streaming video.

UPDATE: Paula has chosen And So It Goes by Billy Joel for young David.

If I learn any more song selections, I'll be adding them to this entry.

parades are a-waiting!: a SIMULBLOG...

It's been 24 hours since the Idols hit the Rock and Roll Hall. Or was that the wall?

In a nutshell, Archuleta crooned, Cook coasted, Syesha cried and Jason crashed. And burned. After shooting the sheriff.

Yes. That pretty much sums up the night.

It was, quite arguably, the worst final four episode in seven seasons.

And somebody's gonna pay the price tonight, because it's time to chop off the dread weight. Maybe.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means I'm typing as the action is happening live on the east coast, with a publishing break at every important stop, so if you don't wanna know, here's not the place you wanna be. If you want to be spoiled though, stick around, chat in the shoutbox and hit the refresh button occasionally to see what's going on.

Because the show's about to start!
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Ryan calls last night's show "dramatic." And he promises more drama. Plus Bo Bice.

Ryan begins grilling Randy on his Syesha-hate from the night before. The other judges get a moment to reflect on the performance episode before we get a group song.

The kids are "reeling in the years." And, as usual, the audio guy is asleep at the controls. But Judge Judy and Howie Mandel are in the crowd.
_______

We get the retrospective from last night. The kids are backstage looking at the monitor. Archuleta is called out first. He gets grilled by Ryan about nonsense as it's clear the kid just wants to know if he can go sit on the sofa of safety. He can. And he does.

And after a series of directorial missteps, we get sent to a commercial.
_______

The four kids got to visit Las Vegas, and we are treated to the highlights. Because they have only four kids and an hour to kill.

David Cook gets his command to appear onstage. He is reminded of his reviews from the night before. He says his head just wasn't in the right spot last night. But he's told to send his head to the sofa to join the other David.

Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro are called center stage. So it looks like this odd season (and I mean that in more ways than one) will not have the traditional final four shocker.
_______

The Idols are matadors fighting a Mustang in the crappy Ford commercial that is, at least, entertaining.

It's time for phone calls. Cook gets put on the spot by a woman wanting a date and Syesha gets bleeped when she gives more information than she was supposed to. And there were others, but I was too uninterested to listen. [The word they bleeped on Syesha was "commercial." Guess they don't want us knowing the kids are forced to pimp products.]

Now it's time for Maroon 5, because we only have four kids, two of them have been called safe, and we have 25 more minutes to kill.
_______

Bo Bice is back! I love Bo! But I'm not real fond of his new single. Maybe it needs time to grow on me. He tells the remaining kids to "practice, practice, practice."
_______

All the filler has pushed the show to seven minutes till the hour. Syesha and Castro are standing on the stage with Ryan.

Jason is reminded that he shot the sheriff, spared the deputy and got thoroughly panned for it. Ryan makes a funny about his flubbed lyrics. Jason makes a funny about shooting Mr. Tambourine Man.

Syesha gets her reviews from the night before. No funny remarks about about her tears.

Both of them get to discuss last night. Syesha gets deep and political.

Syesha is told she's getting a parade. Jason applauds and hugs her sweetly. He looks happier than she does.

We all get to remember Jason's journey to the sound of Ruben. And he sings the show out in the wildest, happiest sing out I have ever seen.

So long Jason. You were fun to watch.

Good luck.

they're gonna rock this show...

"You can rock out on Idol."

Randy Jackson said so earlier this season. And Paula nodded.

And so to prove it, the final four were allowed to frolic in the list (or the pared down list in all probability) of the songs that "shaped rock and roll" according to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Three of them will get parades. One will get to meet Ellen next week.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And after this episode, I will be cleansing my ears. And then I will be trying, again, to figure out how and why they're still insisting that this group is the best group in the history of the show. Cause I am just not seeing it. Or hearing it.

But here they are anyway, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision but, as always, from worst to first, including a four-way tie at the end:

Jason Castro (Tambourine Man). Well, at least he didn't stop and ask the band to restart after forgetting the lyrics. His "lah-lah-lah" was a nice coverup. If anyone suspected last week that Jason wants off of this show, this week that is confirmed. Unfortunately for him Simon tells him to pack his bags, which typically is a call to the phones for many people.

Jason Castro (I Shot the The Sheriff). Simon compares this performance to a first-round audition massacre. Randy calls it a bad Bob Marley karaoke performance. That pretty much sums it up for me.

David Cook (Hungry Like the Wolf). David starts the show and doesn't blow me away like I've come to expect from him. He says in the intro that he's going to "turn the song on its head," and he doesn't come close. He gets a tepid response from the judges, justifiably, but considering he's all but a lock for next week, perhaps he decided this week was the time to play it safe.

Syesha Mercado (Proud Mary). Syesha looks lovely and continues to display that long-hidden personality, but instead of using the Tina Turner rendition of this song as a guide and turning it into Syesha's version, she decides to duplicate Tina, clear down to the choreography. The judges are split, but I am siding with Simon's view that it was an imitiation, even though I think it didn't deserve to be called "shrieky."

[The following four I'm just calling a tie.]

Syesha Mercado (A Change is Gonna Come). This song started promisingly, but the more powerful she tried to make it, the more strident it became. It was better than her first effort, even though Randy pans it, but the Jasmine Trias tears upon Paula's glowing words, followed by Simon's, may have touched the hearts of potential voters everywhere.

David Archuleta (Love Me Tender). So Little David didn't know this song. :::wipes tear::: The beauty of this song, aside from the sweet lyrics, is the glorious melody. And it's one of those songs that really shouldn't be messed with. The judges call in a U-Haul full of praise up to and including Simon's observation that he "crushed" the competition. Sorry Simon, but I beg to differ.

David Archuleta (Stand By Me). Archuleta is fortunate to anchor the first round with this song, because after a bomb and two mediocre outings, this one does stand out, despite the insertion of a little Sean Kingston that I do not think was in the original version. It was not near to the extent that Randy slathers the pimping praise, but little David does take the first round But that's not saying much.

David Cook (Baba O'Reilly). After acknowledging that the judges were right to pan him for his first performance, DC takes his "Les Paul" and delivers another trademark David Cook performance, but on rock night doesn't come close to comparing with his earlier-season performances.

So who's leaving. Well if the voters have any compassion, they'll send Jason on his way, but voters have a history of evil. Might Archuleta's voters sit back and watch Dancing with the Stars, their boy having done "crushed" the competition? Will Syesha's heartfelt and touching tears earn a few phone calls?

I'll call a Jason/Syesha bottom two and predict that one of them will be hitting the talk show circuit starting Thursday.

So what do you think?

diamond night: idols on speed...

It's down to five kids. It's up to two songs each. And the diamonds in the rough meet the Diamond for all ages.

It's Neil Diamond. On American Idol!

And so to honor his visit, the intrepid and always brilliant producers decide to cram ten songs into one hour, rushing the kids through the first round so poorly that none of the first round performances had the time to make any impression. Hell, they even shut the judges up until the five performances had concluded, which played havoc on Paula's fragile mental state.

I have watched every episode of every season. This was, without comparison, the poorest excuse for a performance episode ever. If they're going to insist upon selling 45 minutes of commercials and yet have the five remaining kids singing two songs each, expand the show to 90 minutes or stick to single performances and give the kids a few extra seconds of stage time.

This was unforgiveable.

But here they are, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision after a night of rest and reflection, cause honestly I couldn't keep up and don't wanna watch again so soon, but they are, as always, from worst to first.

Brooke White (I'm a Believer). Brooke chooses a guitar for this song, and starts horribly off-key, probably because she's singing far lower than she's comfortably able. I've decided they're rushing the first round of songs to fit the show into one hour and still have time for 45 minutes of commercials, because there is no nuance to the song. But there are a lot of Whoos!

Jason Castro (Forever in Blue Jeans). With his guitar in hand, Jason opened the show and struggled a tad, it seemed, with his key, before finding it quickly enough to deliver a standard, not extraordinary nor memorable, rendition of the song. It has seemed, of late, that Jason's main goal is to get his song over in the quickest way possible.

Jason Castro (September Morn). I'm trying to decide if Jason simply thinks this show is getting old, or if he just wants to go home.

Syesha Mercado (Thank the Lord for the Nighttime). Syesha still has lost the shoes, but has added the background singers to the stage. Nice touch. Too bad they can't save this song, a very poor choice of song with only five singers remaining.

David Archuleta (America). The only thing missing from this performance was the Statue of Liberty arising from the mosh pit (preferably wiping out a few dozen of the waving maniacs along the way). Simon was right; it was a clever song choice, but, despite the fact that it was flat throughout, it was typical Archuleta. The song is the same. Only the words (and occasionally the tempo) changes.

David Archuleta (Sweet Caroline). In David's first choice of the night, had I not known the lyrics I would never had recognized the song. It wasn't until he hit the chorus that it started to resemble anything remotely like the original.

Syesha Mercado (Hello Again). Syesha again gets points for bare feet and starts her first song sitting at the edge of the stage. Her vocals are strong, she's by far the best of the two women tonight, but because they're rushing this show so mercilessly, it all just seemed very forced. And fake. And that's not necessarily her fault.

David Cook (I'm Alive). Neil Diamond tells DC that he gave him goosebumps, but that he's choosing songs nobody's ever heard of. I know this song though, and David turns in a fine, if rushed version of it, staying true to the Diamond version but giving it the traditional Cook twist.

Brooke White (I Am ... I Said). This was very nice, even though it was a bit rushed, but that's the recurring theme of the night. It's very heartfelt, but that's Brooke's strong suit, even when her notes fail her. Or the lyrics. But neither did.

David Cook (All I Really Need is You). I know what's going on my iPod first thing tomorrow. Or whenever it's available. In a poorly-executed, chaotic and underperformed night, this was the highlight. But that's getting to be the tradition this season.

So, who's on the bubble?

With only five singers, they'll pull out a bottom two. And considering it's gonna take a Mack truck and the national guard to get either of the Davids off the show, the other three just have to survive at this point, and Brooke may have just done enough.

Therefore, I'll predict, not that I'm ever right, that Jason and Syesha will hit the stools and Jason will win out by a dreadlock. Not that he deserves to.

So, what did you think?

and 6 of them praise the lord...

It's Andrew Lloyd Webber night, as the final six sing the songs of the Lord in a halfway salute to Broadway and a full-on salute to one of the most brilliant composers of our time. The kids even score a free trip to Vegas to work with the Lord, who admits he's been an idol virgin until last week when he caught his first episode.

The Lord's music wasn't kind on most of the kids, but, again, they're trying out to be pop stars, not Broadway legends, so at least none of them got criticized for being too Broadway. They just got criticized for being crappy. Or forgetting lyrics and expecting an entire band to stop and start over.

So here they are, my impressions as I'm watching, complete with the occasional typo but as always, from worst to first:

Jason Castro (Memory from Cats). Okay, so Jason didn't know that this song, from the musical Cats, was sung by a, uhhh, cat. We should have known what we were gonna get. His breathiness is distracting. And I think he misses more notes than he completes, he's so far out of his comfort zone he just got a new zip code. Randy calls it a trainwreck. That pretty much sums it up.

Brooke White (You Must Love Me from Evita). After a mini-lesson in Argentinian history, Brooke says she "gets" the message behind this song, but unfortunately she doesn't "get" the start, decides to stop the band and start over. Again. She is the only contestant in the history of the show to stop and start, and now she's done it twice. And Paula justifiably crawls her butt for it. The other judges crawl her butt for her vocals and defend her decision to restart, even though she admits that she "lost the lyric." But continuing in a string of weak performances, Brooke may have just written her obituary.

Syesha Mercado (One Rock & Roll Too Many from Starlight Express). Syesha gets stuck in the fatal opening spot. And she gets points for the bare feet and the guts to start standing on the piano and in 90 seconds shows more personality than she has in the last two months. Randy calls her performance her best to date, and despite a handful of really sour notes, I can't help but agree.

David Archuleta (Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera). Andrew Lloyd Webber tells Archuleta to open his eyes. Thank you Lord Lloyd Webber. And he chooses a snoozer of a song. Randy and Paula drool all over him, but I'm siding with Simon. It was bland, simply pleasant, but certainly not memorable. What young David could have done with another choice.

Carly Smithson (Jesus Christ Superstar from Jesus Christ Superstar). Brooke could take some lessons about missing lyrics and moving on, as she fluffs (or intentionally altered?) many of them at the front of the song. Simon calls her a bit screechy at times. But when hasn't she been. I like Carly when she's having fun. And it didn't hurt that she was the only one to choose from my favorite ALW work.

David Cook (Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera). David plays this number straight, even through being told to look longingly into the eyes of the 17-year-old beauty Andrew Lloyd Webber. And, despite some rough patches that are common with his lower register and a final note that could have been avoided, he wraps up the show for the second time in the finals with the best performance of the night.

So who is leaving? I don't know anything but the fact that the two Davids are safe. So I will just flip a metaphorical coin.

Who I want: Brooke, Jason, Syesha
Who should: Brooke, Jason, Syesha
Who will: Brooke, Jason, Syesha

Jason could be in some real trouble, and Syesha seems to have a significant fan base, so there might just been a flood of tears on the stage. Brooke says goodbye.

So, who's in your bottom three?

with 6 you get two: a SIMULBLOG...

Two songs anyway. After tonight we'll be treated to not one, but multiple performances from the lucky hangers-on, because when we're finished we'll be down to half the field. Finally. And in this year of gender parity, it seems fairly likely that tonight's victim will be female. Or at least she better be.

Because THIS is American Idol. And we kill people here. Or at least we try to kill their hopes and dreams along with their self-esteem. (At least the MJ fans think so.)

And this is a SIMULBLOG where I'm throwing away all self-censorship and typing as the action is happening live on the East Coast, with a publish at every significant break, so if you want to know, stick around and uncensor yourself. If you want to remain pure and unspoiled, then go. But come back and rant, rave or revel in the outcome.

All seven of them broke the cardinal rule about not singing Mariah Carey because she threatened to sing all 117 octives in their ear if they didn't. And Mariah is in the house, along with one of our favorite Idols evah, Mr. Elliott Yamin. So I can deal with the insipid phone calls if my man Elliott is gonna sing.

Ryan tells us almost 36 million votes were phoned in Tuesday. And they go immediately to the crappy group song. One Sweet Day, they sing. Pretty much separately. And their separate performances really highlight how crappy this group is as a, well, group. That was really not good.
_______

There is only one week left to vote in the All-American Crappy Coronation Song Contest (ACCSC)! Get to it voters!

We are made to watch the high and lowlights from last night's performance episode. At least they make them interesting by showing us bits and pieces of behind-the-scenes commentary from the kids. Brooke tells Simon that it hurt her feeling knowing that she was just an empty bun, for instance.

Time to get "down to business."

Jason Castro is summoned to join Ryan. He's reminded of his reviews and, as we expected, they're separating them into "groups." Jason starts "team Jason."

David Cook is called in. He says he was overwhelmed by the events of the week. He captains "team David", the team that all of the kool kids want to be in.

Carly Smithson is called in. She tells Simon he's been too tough on her this season. Simon tries to explain. Carly is sent to join Team Jason.

Kristy Lee Cook comes out. She is told she's on Team David.

Elliott is next! YAY!
_______

It's the crappy Ford commercial. The kids are puppets wanting the break free. Thankfully they found scissors.

Elliott takes the stage and Sway Penala joins Kenya and the background singers with Free. Claudette, Elliott's mom, who passed away recently, gets well-deserved remembrance. Season five, after all, would have not been season five without her. Good job Elliott.

The teams continue to be formed.

Syesha Mercado is told to join Carly on Team Jason.

Brooke White is told to join Team David, leaving little Archuleta, who waits backstage, to choose between the groups.
_______

Yay. Phone calls. I simply will not comment.

Mariah Carey sings Bye Bye. And, if her post-performance antics are any indication, she spent the first half of the show sipping out of Paula's cup.
_______

Let's get to the reason we're here!

Archuleta is brought to the stage, between Team David with Kristy and Brooke and Team Jason with Carly and Syesha. Archuleta is told he's safe.

Ryan tells David Cook to swap places with Syesha. I guess that means Team David is now Team Syesha. Hell, I'm confused.

Archuleta sits cross-legged the minute he's told to join the safe team. Ryan drags Team Jason/David/Carly to the squatter, leaving the bottom dwellers, Brooke, Syesha and Kristy.

After a commercial, Kristy, Brooke and Syesha stand center stage. Ryan sends Syesha back to the sofa to join her friends, the kook kids. Brooke and Kristy are all huggy. Randy says he can't call this week. Paula babbles. Simon avoids any more hamburger analogies.

Ryan tells Brooke she's safe and, after countless escapes from eviction, Kristy Lee Cook gets booted. How nice for her, though, that it was after a really good performance.

There are many many tears. We watch her journey as she listens to Ruben.

She makes the most of her final sing. Good girl Kristy. And good luck.

She better get her damn horse back.

the saga of seven divas...

After years of being warned against trying to emulate Miss Whitney, Miss Celine and Miss Mariah Carey, the seven remaining season seven kids are being forced to attempt the big voice. Something about all of this just doesn't seem fair.

But who cares? Because THIS is American Idol. And "fair" ain't a word we use in the same sentence.

Okay, I'll be honest from the get go. I've read the spoilers, and, aside from two of the song selections, I don't have a clue about Mariah Carey music. (And in fairness, one of the selections - Without You - was much better in its original version. In my opinion, of course.)

And who woulda thunk that three guys would have mopped the floor with four gals on Mariah night?

But it's time for the slaughter, so here they are, my impressions, written live while they're occurring, so no snide remarks about the typos, please, and, as usual, from worst to first:

Brooke White (Hero). Brooke is still lamenting the fact that she had to miss her sister's wedding. Then she decides to destroy one of the few Mariah Carey songs I like, missing notes throughout and relying on just the piano. This was one time I think she would have been more effective standing alone at the microphone and allowing the band to complement the vocal. The judges dissolve into a discussion of meat and buns while Brooke stands looking typically perplexed.

Syesha Mercado (Vanishing). Mariah says Syesha made a wise song choice, which is probably true considering Syesha's tendency toward big vocals. Personally, I don't like the song, but I'm not sure that's because of Syesha. Randy gives her a thumbs half up, Paula speaks Paula and Simon questions her choice of an unknown song while praising her technical ability, but makes sure to tell her that she's no David Archuleta.

Kristy Lee Cook (Forever). Kristy continues to impress me. And while Randy was right that there were a few iffy moments, especially in the front of her performance when she was struggling with the lower register, the end more than made up for the start. She will survive another week, but she continues to earn her ticket forward rather than just skating through.

Carly Smithson (Without You). Carly makes sure everyone knows how much the kids miss the newly-departed Michael Johns. And she chooses the much over-sung-on-this-show song that Kelly Clarkson made her mark on, so not only will she be judged against Mariah, but she will be judged against former idols. All three judges comment that she's holding back, perhaps out of caution, and lavish her with praise that could be only describe as tepid. I think that Clarkson and London have nothing to fear.

Jason Castro (I Don't Wanna Cry). I don't know this song, so I have nothing on which to base this, and it wasn't my favorite Jason performance, but as Simon said at the end of his review, the guys at their worst were better than the girls at their best.

David Archuleta (When You Believe). David #1 gets the lead-off spot (a cursed spot over the course of this season), and suffers from the traditional drowning out of his vocals by the band and background singers. But the vocals that do rise above the background are typically David, everything we've come to expect from the kid. The judges fawn over him while I can't help but wonder if and/or when he will ever depart from the inspiring ballad path that he's chosen.

David Cook (Always Be My Baby). And here I thought the guys would be inherently at a disadvantage. After a bit of a scare at the front of this song, David #2 takes it into typical DC world, causing Randy to stand for the first time this season, Paula to spout more Paula-isms and Simon to declare the show finally free from karaoke hell.

So there they are, for what they're worth. Now it's your turn to critique. But not before the predictions that are as reliable as, well, the weather. I will say this now, though: if there is not an all-male final three, based on the competition thus far, something is terribly rotten somewhere in Denmark.

Who I want: three girls, I don't care which ones.
Who should: Brooke, Carly, Syesha
Who will: Brooke, Carly, Syesha

As much as I think Brooke should leave after two very disappointing weeks, I think Syesha may have reached the end of her line tonight.

So, what do you think?

7 is enough: a SIMULBLOG...

Well they've given back. And now it's time to give back one of the remaining eight.

It's back to business. Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means that while the action is happening live on the east coast, it's being explained in a wacky and convoluted sort of way here, complete with random thoughts and random typos, so if you want to be spoiled hang around, because I'll be publishing at every important break. If you want to remain pure until the execution is aired in your area, you need to leave. But remember to return and moan and groan (or jump and celebrate) with the rest of us.

Because the show is about to start!
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Ryan promises us surprises as he introduces the judges. (And Mandisa is in the audience!) We get a review of IGB, because it's been 24 hours since it aired and, since it ran over, many of us didn't get to see the end except on youtube.com. Over $60 million has been raised and Ryan implores us to keep calling and downloading the show's songs from iTunes. (There's a link in the sidebar for your convenience...and a commission for me. Shameless, I know.)

The kids reprise their Shout to the Lord finale song that TiVo didn't record. No cheezy choreography. Just some simply swaying and audience strolling. And a really big church choir. Very nice, even though this group does struggle with singing as a group.
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They're still airing the "give money" promos, but I love Zach and Cody, so I don't mind.

Over 31 million votes were phoned in from people not pledging money. It's time to start setting the field.

Brooke White is first. She is reminded of her reviews. And after telling everyone about her sister's wedding this weekend, she tells herself she's safe.
David Cook is next. The hairstyle is disturbing. He gets reminded he was called "pompous." And he's safe. Good. Now I can keep watching the show.
David Archuleta is summoned. And the moshers are told to shut the hell up. Well, sorta. And, no surprise, he is also safe.
The safe people celebrate as we're shown the empty stools of death. And go to commercial.
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More IGB promos and a video that they, apparently, didn't have time for last night. Geesh, they aired that thing for three hours and still ran over. The video is both touching and disturbing. I hope the money goes to where it can do the most good.

And it's time for Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown and her new single No Air. Ryan and assorted people present the reigning idol with plaques recognizing her gazillion sales/downloads. Good girl, Jordin!
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At least all of the IGB festivities didn't keep us from crappy - but colorful - Ford commercial. The Idols are Celebrating!

Jason Castro is called to center stage. He's reminded that the judges gushed over him. And he's told he's safe.
Kristy Lee Cook is called. And she's safe too.
That leaves Carly Smithson, Michael Johns and Syesha Mercado in the bottom three. People boo. _______

More IGB promos, including a wonderfully snarky John McCain. I actually snickered.

The bottom three are standing center stage. Randy is surprised. Paula says the three is "partly right, partly wrong." Simon is typically smug. And Ryan throws us to commercial.
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And they're back.

Michael, Carly and Syesha are reminded of their song selections and their judges comments.

Syesha and Carly are told they're safe. Michael is left, people boo, and Ryan tells us it's the end of Michael's road.

I didn't see that one coming. Ruben sings while we watch MJ's journey.

The judges offer him advice, Simon gets one more dig in about a bad song selection, and Michael sings the show out.

Wow. I am still surprised. I think it was the scarf.

See ya Michael. And good luck.