setting the table: a SIMULBLOG!...

The end of another very long season is in sight, but not before we slash and dash the hopes and dreams of one more kid on the way to final week of the seventh season.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a simulblog, which means I'm typing and publishing as the action is happening live on the east coast, so if you don't wanna know, it's time for you to leave. If you want to be totally spoiled - or bored - for the next hour, then hang out and chat!

After all we only have one more week left. And the show is about to start...
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Ryan tells us that 56 million votes were called in last night to decide the fate of the three remaining kids. Andrew Lloyd Webber is in the house, as are most of this season's contestants. Fantasia is also in the house and will be singing.

Syesha and the Davids combine because there ain't no stopping them now. Kool choreography and it helps that they've dropped about nine people, because this year's group sings have been nothing short of, well, bad.
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The crappy Ford commercial asks how far heaven is, as the kids dream about getting keys to Pontiacs. Just foolin'.

We get the recap from last night. And as soon as that's over, it's time to bring out Fantasia, because we have hometown visits to see! Fantasia has hair that is constantly changing color. Tonight it's kinda pink. Or orange. Depending on the angle of the light.

She's as shy as ever. I honestly don't know know what else to say about that appearance.
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The kids are backstage. Ryan calls Archuleta to the stage. We get to see his visit to hometown Murray, Utah. He went to his high school, the television station, the Jazz game and the Gateway Mall. And he cried. And he has a really cool mayor with a really cool moustache.

David says he's embarrassed about all the tearful footage, gets his reviews from the night before and gets his funeral video before he's even been declared dead. Smart move considering they won't have time next week to show each of the remaining kids' journeys, so they'll just do them tonight.
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Syesha Mercado is summoned. She says her trip home was "amazing." She visited the television station, the museum, hugged a baby or seven, got a parade, visited her high school and got to take a helicopter ride. She cried a lot too.

She is reminded of her reviews. Simon says Paula was too hard on her. Simon is so funny.

And she gets to watch her funeral video to the sound of Fantasia's crappy coronation song.
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David Cook is next. He says he didn't mean to audition, but to accompany his little bro Andrew, who gets called to the stage. The Cook brothers and Ryan get to watch his hometown highlight reel. David got to do the weather at the television station, surprise his elementary school music teacher, have a parade and throw out the first pitch at a Royals game. He cried too.

Cook gets reminded of his reviews. And he too gets to watch his funeral video.

The three kids are standing center stage as we get thrown to commercial.
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The kids are holding hands with Syesha in the center. Randy tells them they all did an amazing job. Paula pretty much repeats what Randy said.

The lights are dimmed. They're holding hands again. Ryan announces the two going forward, and their names are David.

Syesha gets to sing more more time, as we get reminders of her journey on the big screen behind her.

Syesha, you set the record for most appearances in the bottom and yet you hung in there. You are a fighter. And Broadway is waiting for you to finish that tour. Congratulations, well done and so long.

Please discuss!

three singers, two openings...

It was a chance to take on songs handed to them, rather than chosen by them. It was a chance to sing on the last show of the seventh season. It was a night when the judges and I were on (almost) complete opposite sides.

But the bus was all gassed up and aiming for the stage. And pieces of Syesha are hanging from the rear view mirror.

The ballad-heavy episode certainly wasn't the best final three episode ever. It was, though, safe. If your name is David.

But anyway, here are my impressions, subject to review and revision, but as always, from worst to first:

David Archuleta (Producer's choice: Longer): Yes, this was a crapper of a song choice, but he didn't have much say in the matter. Again, he does what he can with the song, but sitting squarely again on a stool midstage does not help sell it. The judges assure him he'll be in the finals. Because they know the bus is getting ready to back up and make sure Syesha is under it.

Syesha Mercado (Randy's choice: If I Ain't Got You): Syesha looks stunning in a sequined gown and delivers a well-sung, but unoriginal version of this Alicia Keys song. She gets tepid reviews, and I'm so unmoved that I can't think of anything more to say.

David Cook (Personal choice: Dare You to Move): Paula finally recognizes that sometimes songs just don't work in the split-second allowed for the live performance, and never was there better proof than this. David is just "off" in the first part of the song, but once he's back in comfortable range, the song ends.

David Archuleta (Personal choice: With You): David Archuleta said "my boo." If you had told me that six weeks ago, I would have laughed. The judges applaud his attempt at a song about a hundred miles out of his comfort zone, but make it clear that his choice was a bad one. Okay, so he missed some notes, and the song fit him like mittens fit a dog, but, and maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there, it looked as though he was actually having fun for the first time in weeks. And that made me smile.

Syesha Mercado (Producer's choice: Hit Me Up): Finally something upbeat! Too bad she seems to be chasing the beat, never quite able to catch it. The judges, expectedly but inexplicably tell her she's toast, either in an attempt to spur her voters to dial harder or to convince them it's not in their interest to try.

David Archuleta (Paula's choice: And So It Goes): First a disclaimer. I do not like this song, even sung by Billy Joel. It's bland, and it's boring. But David does the best he can with it. Randy slobbers all over him, like usual. Simon though, is right: it was predictable, nothing spellbinding, but pleasantly fine.

David Cook (Producer's choice: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing): After an awesome open, David closes the show - with composer Diane Warren in the audience - a bit out of tune in the front part, but wraps it up in true David Cook style. It wasn't bad, it wasn't good, and it was better than most of the others on this night, but I guess I was hoping for more. Simon calls the night for him anyway.

Syesha Mercado (Personal choice: Fever): I knew that somewhere in the judges' critiques we would hear cabaret the minute I saw the chair on stage. This is another song that I've grown tired of, but, for possibly the first time ever, I got it. The judges have apparently been sucking out of Paula's cup, or they've been told who to praise and who, umm, not to, but this was Syesha's performance of the season, despite the universal panning that she received from the scoring table.

David Cook (Simon's choice: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face): Okay, does it make me a nerd to say I had tears? If so, then I'm a nerd. With wet eyes. The only downside to this performance was that it's a tough song to condense into the alloted 60 seconds, but David sings the first verse flawlessly before powering into the ending, hitting high notes I don't think he's hit all year. Simon tells him it's one of his best performances to date. I just hope it's the studio selection on iTunes.


I hate the final three results show. I always cry, even if I don't really like the third-place finisher. My brain is telling me that the David fans X 2 will be seeking emergency finger care in the morning, leaving Syesha the odd-woman out. In fairness, she deserves a spot in next week's show, as do both of the Davids, but realistically she hasn't much of a chance.

Or will we be treated to that shocker that has eluded us this season? Will the glowing David reviews leave one David in the lurch. Oh hell, I don't know.

As much as I want to call for an unexpected Archuleta boot, I am expecting Syesha to hear Ruben singing.

So what do you think?

UPDATED! last three standing...

It's arguably the most stressful night of the season: final three night. Two of the kids will sing in the last show of the seventh year. The other, coming oh so close, will be relegated to one of the aisle seats, watching from the audience and after months of putting in as much effort as the other two, will play nothing more than filler during the grand finale next Wednesday. (And as an added kick in the butt, #3 doesn't even get to make the talk show circuit, because rehearsals for the finale start right away.)

So after tonight, all three have a chance of winning. After tomorrow night, one just loses.

Three contestants, three songs. One of the songs is his or her personal selection, no restrictions (except clearance issues). One of the songs is chosen by one of the judges. And the third song is drawn from a fish bowl, errr, chosen by the producers.

Of course, history and superstitions still abound. Until last year when Jordin was first up on final three night, every singer who led off final three night got kicked to the curb the following day. I still maintain that the order of performance on this night is dictated by vote accrued during the season, from least-voted to most-voted. That's why #1s always got the boot. It wasn't some lead-off curse; they just didn't have the votes in the first place to stand a chance.

And if that's the case, I strongly expect Syesha Mercado to lead off tonight, followed by Archuleta and ending with Cook. But we'll see. UPDATE: Performance order is Archuleta/Syesha/Cook.

And then there's the Paula curse. In five seasons of judges choosing song selections (individual judges did not choose songs during the first season), Paula has never chosen a song for the kid who eventually wins. Clay Aiken finished second in season two, Jasmine Trias got totally thrown under the bus in season three, Bo Bice couldn't overcome the Underwood express in season four and Elliott Yamin got shortchanged in season five.

Tonight Archuleta gets to sing a Paula selection. Seems the kid is just not having a good week.

Now for the song spoilers. We've known of the judges' selections since the three contestants visited their respective hometowns, and some of the other choices are making the rounds as legitimate. I am not making any claims as to their validity; I'm just passing along the titles that seem to be the general consensus, but I have yet to see any single source, so take them for what they're worth.

Song selections are now official. Seems that Cook has pulled a fast one on us with a switch.

Syesha Mercado:

Personal choice: Fever (audio by Peggy Lee)
Randy's choice: If I Ain't Got You (video by, well, Syesha. Seems she's familiar with the song.)
Producer's choice: Hit Me Up (video by Gia Farrell)

David Archuleta:

Personal choice: With You (video by Chris Brown)
Paula's choice: And So It Goes (video by Billy Joel)
Producers choice: Longer (audio by Dan Fogelberg; video of record player)

David Cook:

Personal choice: The World I Know (video by Collective Soul).
Simon's choice: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (video by Roberta Flack)
Producer's choice: unknown
David's other two selections are Dare You to Move (I suspect his personal choice) and I Don't Want To Miss a Thing (I suspect the producer's choice.)

The fact that Syesha has already performed Randy's choice on television is interesting. Did he know that? Or did she just get lucky? And will she sit - again - on the piano to deliver it?

Simon's choice for David Cook is fascinating. It has the potential to be spellbinding. Or to put an entire voting audience to sleep. The choice is David's.

David Archuleta gets the short straw. Not only did the kid get thrown a curve by having his little league parent abruptly yanked after all of these months breathing so incessantly down his neck, but he gets possibly the worst Billy Joel song imaginable. (I like the Fogelberg tune, and if he can pull off the Chris Brown song, I'll be the first one applauding.) If any of the three is at a disadvantage, therefore, it's him. (Although the continuous coverage of Dadchuleta-gate could garner him some extra sympathy votes.)

All of the makings for a David-squared finale have been in place since Beatles week. We haven't had an all-male final since season two, and we haven't had a same-gender final for three years. Somehow I have a gnawing feeling that we're due for that shocker we've been deprived of so far.

So, what do you think?

As soon as song spoilers are out, I'll update it here.

following the kids back home...

It's Syesha Day in Florida! And her FOX affiliate is following her with live streaming video.

UPDATE: Randy has chosen Alicia Keys' If I Ain't Got You for Syesha's judges choice selection.


And it's David Cook day in Missouri where he'll be in a parade with Ronald McDonald!

And his FOX station is giving fans two - TWO - "Cook Channels" to keep track of the boy, complete with chat. And according to this station, Simon has chosen The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (Roberta Flack) for Cook's judges choice. And David, reportedly, has chosen The World I Know, by Collective Soul, as his personal selection.



And in Utah, it is D-Day, rain or shine. Archie has his own tracker and live streaming video.

UPDATE: Paula has chosen And So It Goes by Billy Joel for young David.

If I learn any more song selections, I'll be adding them to this entry.

parades are a-waiting!: a SIMULBLOG...

It's been 24 hours since the Idols hit the Rock and Roll Hall. Or was that the wall?

In a nutshell, Archuleta crooned, Cook coasted, Syesha cried and Jason crashed. And burned. After shooting the sheriff.

Yes. That pretty much sums up the night.

It was, quite arguably, the worst final four episode in seven seasons.

And somebody's gonna pay the price tonight, because it's time to chop off the dread weight. Maybe.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means I'm typing as the action is happening live on the east coast, with a publishing break at every important stop, so if you don't wanna know, here's not the place you wanna be. If you want to be spoiled though, stick around, chat in the shoutbox and hit the refresh button occasionally to see what's going on.

Because the show's about to start!
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Ryan calls last night's show "dramatic." And he promises more drama. Plus Bo Bice.

Ryan begins grilling Randy on his Syesha-hate from the night before. The other judges get a moment to reflect on the performance episode before we get a group song.

The kids are "reeling in the years." And, as usual, the audio guy is asleep at the controls. But Judge Judy and Howie Mandel are in the crowd.
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We get the retrospective from last night. The kids are backstage looking at the monitor. Archuleta is called out first. He gets grilled by Ryan about nonsense as it's clear the kid just wants to know if he can go sit on the sofa of safety. He can. And he does.

And after a series of directorial missteps, we get sent to a commercial.
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The four kids got to visit Las Vegas, and we are treated to the highlights. Because they have only four kids and an hour to kill.

David Cook gets his command to appear onstage. He is reminded of his reviews from the night before. He says his head just wasn't in the right spot last night. But he's told to send his head to the sofa to join the other David.

Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro are called center stage. So it looks like this odd season (and I mean that in more ways than one) will not have the traditional final four shocker.
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The Idols are matadors fighting a Mustang in the crappy Ford commercial that is, at least, entertaining.

It's time for phone calls. Cook gets put on the spot by a woman wanting a date and Syesha gets bleeped when she gives more information than she was supposed to. And there were others, but I was too uninterested to listen. [The word they bleeped on Syesha was "commercial." Guess they don't want us knowing the kids are forced to pimp products.]

Now it's time for Maroon 5, because we only have four kids, two of them have been called safe, and we have 25 more minutes to kill.
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Bo Bice is back! I love Bo! But I'm not real fond of his new single. Maybe it needs time to grow on me. He tells the remaining kids to "practice, practice, practice."
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All the filler has pushed the show to seven minutes till the hour. Syesha and Castro are standing on the stage with Ryan.

Jason is reminded that he shot the sheriff, spared the deputy and got thoroughly panned for it. Ryan makes a funny about his flubbed lyrics. Jason makes a funny about shooting Mr. Tambourine Man.

Syesha gets her reviews from the night before. No funny remarks about about her tears.

Both of them get to discuss last night. Syesha gets deep and political.

Syesha is told she's getting a parade. Jason applauds and hugs her sweetly. He looks happier than she does.

We all get to remember Jason's journey to the sound of Ruben. And he sings the show out in the wildest, happiest sing out I have ever seen.

So long Jason. You were fun to watch.

Good luck.

they're gonna rock this show...

"You can rock out on Idol."

Randy Jackson said so earlier this season. And Paula nodded.

And so to prove it, the final four were allowed to frolic in the list (or the pared down list in all probability) of the songs that "shaped rock and roll" according to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Three of them will get parades. One will get to meet Ellen next week.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And after this episode, I will be cleansing my ears. And then I will be trying, again, to figure out how and why they're still insisting that this group is the best group in the history of the show. Cause I am just not seeing it. Or hearing it.

But here they are anyway, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision but, as always, from worst to first, including a four-way tie at the end:

Jason Castro (Tambourine Man). Well, at least he didn't stop and ask the band to restart after forgetting the lyrics. His "lah-lah-lah" was a nice coverup. If anyone suspected last week that Jason wants off of this show, this week that is confirmed. Unfortunately for him Simon tells him to pack his bags, which typically is a call to the phones for many people.

Jason Castro (I Shot the The Sheriff). Simon compares this performance to a first-round audition massacre. Randy calls it a bad Bob Marley karaoke performance. That pretty much sums it up for me.

David Cook (Hungry Like the Wolf). David starts the show and doesn't blow me away like I've come to expect from him. He says in the intro that he's going to "turn the song on its head," and he doesn't come close. He gets a tepid response from the judges, justifiably, but considering he's all but a lock for next week, perhaps he decided this week was the time to play it safe.

Syesha Mercado (Proud Mary). Syesha looks lovely and continues to display that long-hidden personality, but instead of using the Tina Turner rendition of this song as a guide and turning it into Syesha's version, she decides to duplicate Tina, clear down to the choreography. The judges are split, but I am siding with Simon's view that it was an imitiation, even though I think it didn't deserve to be called "shrieky."

[The following four I'm just calling a tie.]

Syesha Mercado (A Change is Gonna Come). This song started promisingly, but the more powerful she tried to make it, the more strident it became. It was better than her first effort, even though Randy pans it, but the Jasmine Trias tears upon Paula's glowing words, followed by Simon's, may have touched the hearts of potential voters everywhere.

David Archuleta (Love Me Tender). So Little David didn't know this song. :::wipes tear::: The beauty of this song, aside from the sweet lyrics, is the glorious melody. And it's one of those songs that really shouldn't be messed with. The judges call in a U-Haul full of praise up to and including Simon's observation that he "crushed" the competition. Sorry Simon, but I beg to differ.

David Archuleta (Stand By Me). Archuleta is fortunate to anchor the first round with this song, because after a bomb and two mediocre outings, this one does stand out, despite the insertion of a little Sean Kingston that I do not think was in the original version. It was not near to the extent that Randy slathers the pimping praise, but little David does take the first round But that's not saying much.

David Cook (Baba O'Reilly). After acknowledging that the judges were right to pan him for his first performance, DC takes his "Les Paul" and delivers another trademark David Cook performance, but on rock night doesn't come close to comparing with his earlier-season performances.

So who's leaving. Well if the voters have any compassion, they'll send Jason on his way, but voters have a history of evil. Might Archuleta's voters sit back and watch Dancing with the Stars, their boy having done "crushed" the competition? Will Syesha's heartfelt and touching tears earn a few phone calls?

I'll call a Jason/Syesha bottom two and predict that one of them will be hitting the talk show circuit starting Thursday.

So what do you think?

diamond night: idols on speed...

It's down to five kids. It's up to two songs each. And the diamonds in the rough meet the Diamond for all ages.

It's Neil Diamond. On American Idol!

And so to honor his visit, the intrepid and always brilliant producers decide to cram ten songs into one hour, rushing the kids through the first round so poorly that none of the first round performances had the time to make any impression. Hell, they even shut the judges up until the five performances had concluded, which played havoc on Paula's fragile mental state.

I have watched every episode of every season. This was, without comparison, the poorest excuse for a performance episode ever. If they're going to insist upon selling 45 minutes of commercials and yet have the five remaining kids singing two songs each, expand the show to 90 minutes or stick to single performances and give the kids a few extra seconds of stage time.

This was unforgiveable.

But here they are, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision after a night of rest and reflection, cause honestly I couldn't keep up and don't wanna watch again so soon, but they are, as always, from worst to first.

Brooke White (I'm a Believer). Brooke chooses a guitar for this song, and starts horribly off-key, probably because she's singing far lower than she's comfortably able. I've decided they're rushing the first round of songs to fit the show into one hour and still have time for 45 minutes of commercials, because there is no nuance to the song. But there are a lot of Whoos!

Jason Castro (Forever in Blue Jeans). With his guitar in hand, Jason opened the show and struggled a tad, it seemed, with his key, before finding it quickly enough to deliver a standard, not extraordinary nor memorable, rendition of the song. It has seemed, of late, that Jason's main goal is to get his song over in the quickest way possible.

Jason Castro (September Morn). I'm trying to decide if Jason simply thinks this show is getting old, or if he just wants to go home.

Syesha Mercado (Thank the Lord for the Nighttime). Syesha still has lost the shoes, but has added the background singers to the stage. Nice touch. Too bad they can't save this song, a very poor choice of song with only five singers remaining.

David Archuleta (America). The only thing missing from this performance was the Statue of Liberty arising from the mosh pit (preferably wiping out a few dozen of the waving maniacs along the way). Simon was right; it was a clever song choice, but, despite the fact that it was flat throughout, it was typical Archuleta. The song is the same. Only the words (and occasionally the tempo) changes.

David Archuleta (Sweet Caroline). In David's first choice of the night, had I not known the lyrics I would never had recognized the song. It wasn't until he hit the chorus that it started to resemble anything remotely like the original.

Syesha Mercado (Hello Again). Syesha again gets points for bare feet and starts her first song sitting at the edge of the stage. Her vocals are strong, she's by far the best of the two women tonight, but because they're rushing this show so mercilessly, it all just seemed very forced. And fake. And that's not necessarily her fault.

David Cook (I'm Alive). Neil Diamond tells DC that he gave him goosebumps, but that he's choosing songs nobody's ever heard of. I know this song though, and David turns in a fine, if rushed version of it, staying true to the Diamond version but giving it the traditional Cook twist.

Brooke White (I Am ... I Said). This was very nice, even though it was a bit rushed, but that's the recurring theme of the night. It's very heartfelt, but that's Brooke's strong suit, even when her notes fail her. Or the lyrics. But neither did.

David Cook (All I Really Need is You). I know what's going on my iPod first thing tomorrow. Or whenever it's available. In a poorly-executed, chaotic and underperformed night, this was the highlight. But that's getting to be the tradition this season.

So, who's on the bubble?

With only five singers, they'll pull out a bottom two. And considering it's gonna take a Mack truck and the national guard to get either of the Davids off the show, the other three just have to survive at this point, and Brooke may have just done enough.

Therefore, I'll predict, not that I'm ever right, that Jason and Syesha will hit the stools and Jason will win out by a dreadlock. Not that he deserves to.

So, what did you think?

and 6 of them praise the lord...

It's Andrew Lloyd Webber night, as the final six sing the songs of the Lord in a halfway salute to Broadway and a full-on salute to one of the most brilliant composers of our time. The kids even score a free trip to Vegas to work with the Lord, who admits he's been an idol virgin until last week when he caught his first episode.

The Lord's music wasn't kind on most of the kids, but, again, they're trying out to be pop stars, not Broadway legends, so at least none of them got criticized for being too Broadway. They just got criticized for being crappy. Or forgetting lyrics and expecting an entire band to stop and start over.

So here they are, my impressions as I'm watching, complete with the occasional typo but as always, from worst to first:

Jason Castro (Memory from Cats). Okay, so Jason didn't know that this song, from the musical Cats, was sung by a, uhhh, cat. We should have known what we were gonna get. His breathiness is distracting. And I think he misses more notes than he completes, he's so far out of his comfort zone he just got a new zip code. Randy calls it a trainwreck. That pretty much sums it up.

Brooke White (You Must Love Me from Evita). After a mini-lesson in Argentinian history, Brooke says she "gets" the message behind this song, but unfortunately she doesn't "get" the start, decides to stop the band and start over. Again. She is the only contestant in the history of the show to stop and start, and now she's done it twice. And Paula justifiably crawls her butt for it. The other judges crawl her butt for her vocals and defend her decision to restart, even though she admits that she "lost the lyric." But continuing in a string of weak performances, Brooke may have just written her obituary.

Syesha Mercado (One Rock & Roll Too Many from Starlight Express). Syesha gets stuck in the fatal opening spot. And she gets points for the bare feet and the guts to start standing on the piano and in 90 seconds shows more personality than she has in the last two months. Randy calls her performance her best to date, and despite a handful of really sour notes, I can't help but agree.

David Archuleta (Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera). Andrew Lloyd Webber tells Archuleta to open his eyes. Thank you Lord Lloyd Webber. And he chooses a snoozer of a song. Randy and Paula drool all over him, but I'm siding with Simon. It was bland, simply pleasant, but certainly not memorable. What young David could have done with another choice.

Carly Smithson (Jesus Christ Superstar from Jesus Christ Superstar). Brooke could take some lessons about missing lyrics and moving on, as she fluffs (or intentionally altered?) many of them at the front of the song. Simon calls her a bit screechy at times. But when hasn't she been. I like Carly when she's having fun. And it didn't hurt that she was the only one to choose from my favorite ALW work.

David Cook (Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera). David plays this number straight, even through being told to look longingly into the eyes of the 17-year-old beauty Andrew Lloyd Webber. And, despite some rough patches that are common with his lower register and a final note that could have been avoided, he wraps up the show for the second time in the finals with the best performance of the night.

So who is leaving? I don't know anything but the fact that the two Davids are safe. So I will just flip a metaphorical coin.

Who I want: Brooke, Jason, Syesha
Who should: Brooke, Jason, Syesha
Who will: Brooke, Jason, Syesha

Jason could be in some real trouble, and Syesha seems to have a significant fan base, so there might just been a flood of tears on the stage. Brooke says goodbye.

So, who's in your bottom three?

with 6 you get two: a SIMULBLOG...

Two songs anyway. After tonight we'll be treated to not one, but multiple performances from the lucky hangers-on, because when we're finished we'll be down to half the field. Finally. And in this year of gender parity, it seems fairly likely that tonight's victim will be female. Or at least she better be.

Because THIS is American Idol. And we kill people here. Or at least we try to kill their hopes and dreams along with their self-esteem. (At least the MJ fans think so.)

And this is a SIMULBLOG where I'm throwing away all self-censorship and typing as the action is happening live on the East Coast, with a publish at every significant break, so if you want to know, stick around and uncensor yourself. If you want to remain pure and unspoiled, then go. But come back and rant, rave or revel in the outcome.

All seven of them broke the cardinal rule about not singing Mariah Carey because she threatened to sing all 117 octives in their ear if they didn't. And Mariah is in the house, along with one of our favorite Idols evah, Mr. Elliott Yamin. So I can deal with the insipid phone calls if my man Elliott is gonna sing.

Ryan tells us almost 36 million votes were phoned in Tuesday. And they go immediately to the crappy group song. One Sweet Day, they sing. Pretty much separately. And their separate performances really highlight how crappy this group is as a, well, group. That was really not good.
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There is only one week left to vote in the All-American Crappy Coronation Song Contest (ACCSC)! Get to it voters!

We are made to watch the high and lowlights from last night's performance episode. At least they make them interesting by showing us bits and pieces of behind-the-scenes commentary from the kids. Brooke tells Simon that it hurt her feeling knowing that she was just an empty bun, for instance.

Time to get "down to business."

Jason Castro is summoned to join Ryan. He's reminded of his reviews and, as we expected, they're separating them into "groups." Jason starts "team Jason."

David Cook is called in. He says he was overwhelmed by the events of the week. He captains "team David", the team that all of the kool kids want to be in.

Carly Smithson is called in. She tells Simon he's been too tough on her this season. Simon tries to explain. Carly is sent to join Team Jason.

Kristy Lee Cook comes out. She is told she's on Team David.

Elliott is next! YAY!
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It's the crappy Ford commercial. The kids are puppets wanting the break free. Thankfully they found scissors.

Elliott takes the stage and Sway Penala joins Kenya and the background singers with Free. Claudette, Elliott's mom, who passed away recently, gets well-deserved remembrance. Season five, after all, would have not been season five without her. Good job Elliott.

The teams continue to be formed.

Syesha Mercado is told to join Carly on Team Jason.

Brooke White is told to join Team David, leaving little Archuleta, who waits backstage, to choose between the groups.
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Yay. Phone calls. I simply will not comment.

Mariah Carey sings Bye Bye. And, if her post-performance antics are any indication, she spent the first half of the show sipping out of Paula's cup.
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Let's get to the reason we're here!

Archuleta is brought to the stage, between Team David with Kristy and Brooke and Team Jason with Carly and Syesha. Archuleta is told he's safe.

Ryan tells David Cook to swap places with Syesha. I guess that means Team David is now Team Syesha. Hell, I'm confused.

Archuleta sits cross-legged the minute he's told to join the safe team. Ryan drags Team Jason/David/Carly to the squatter, leaving the bottom dwellers, Brooke, Syesha and Kristy.

After a commercial, Kristy, Brooke and Syesha stand center stage. Ryan sends Syesha back to the sofa to join her friends, the kook kids. Brooke and Kristy are all huggy. Randy says he can't call this week. Paula babbles. Simon avoids any more hamburger analogies.

Ryan tells Brooke she's safe and, after countless escapes from eviction, Kristy Lee Cook gets booted. How nice for her, though, that it was after a really good performance.

There are many many tears. We watch her journey as she listens to Ruben.

She makes the most of her final sing. Good girl Kristy. And good luck.

She better get her damn horse back.

the saga of seven divas...

After years of being warned against trying to emulate Miss Whitney, Miss Celine and Miss Mariah Carey, the seven remaining season seven kids are being forced to attempt the big voice. Something about all of this just doesn't seem fair.

But who cares? Because THIS is American Idol. And "fair" ain't a word we use in the same sentence.

Okay, I'll be honest from the get go. I've read the spoilers, and, aside from two of the song selections, I don't have a clue about Mariah Carey music. (And in fairness, one of the selections - Without You - was much better in its original version. In my opinion, of course.)

And who woulda thunk that three guys would have mopped the floor with four gals on Mariah night?

But it's time for the slaughter, so here they are, my impressions, written live while they're occurring, so no snide remarks about the typos, please, and, as usual, from worst to first:

Brooke White (Hero). Brooke is still lamenting the fact that she had to miss her sister's wedding. Then she decides to destroy one of the few Mariah Carey songs I like, missing notes throughout and relying on just the piano. This was one time I think she would have been more effective standing alone at the microphone and allowing the band to complement the vocal. The judges dissolve into a discussion of meat and buns while Brooke stands looking typically perplexed.

Syesha Mercado (Vanishing). Mariah says Syesha made a wise song choice, which is probably true considering Syesha's tendency toward big vocals. Personally, I don't like the song, but I'm not sure that's because of Syesha. Randy gives her a thumbs half up, Paula speaks Paula and Simon questions her choice of an unknown song while praising her technical ability, but makes sure to tell her that she's no David Archuleta.

Kristy Lee Cook (Forever). Kristy continues to impress me. And while Randy was right that there were a few iffy moments, especially in the front of her performance when she was struggling with the lower register, the end more than made up for the start. She will survive another week, but she continues to earn her ticket forward rather than just skating through.

Carly Smithson (Without You). Carly makes sure everyone knows how much the kids miss the newly-departed Michael Johns. And she chooses the much over-sung-on-this-show song that Kelly Clarkson made her mark on, so not only will she be judged against Mariah, but she will be judged against former idols. All three judges comment that she's holding back, perhaps out of caution, and lavish her with praise that could be only describe as tepid. I think that Clarkson and London have nothing to fear.

Jason Castro (I Don't Wanna Cry). I don't know this song, so I have nothing on which to base this, and it wasn't my favorite Jason performance, but as Simon said at the end of his review, the guys at their worst were better than the girls at their best.

David Archuleta (When You Believe). David #1 gets the lead-off spot (a cursed spot over the course of this season), and suffers from the traditional drowning out of his vocals by the band and background singers. But the vocals that do rise above the background are typically David, everything we've come to expect from the kid. The judges fawn over him while I can't help but wonder if and/or when he will ever depart from the inspiring ballad path that he's chosen.

David Cook (Always Be My Baby). And here I thought the guys would be inherently at a disadvantage. After a bit of a scare at the front of this song, David #2 takes it into typical DC world, causing Randy to stand for the first time this season, Paula to spout more Paula-isms and Simon to declare the show finally free from karaoke hell.

So there they are, for what they're worth. Now it's your turn to critique. But not before the predictions that are as reliable as, well, the weather. I will say this now, though: if there is not an all-male final three, based on the competition thus far, something is terribly rotten somewhere in Denmark.

Who I want: three girls, I don't care which ones.
Who should: Brooke, Carly, Syesha
Who will: Brooke, Carly, Syesha

As much as I think Brooke should leave after two very disappointing weeks, I think Syesha may have reached the end of her line tonight.

So, what do you think?

7 is enough: a SIMULBLOG...

Well they've given back. And now it's time to give back one of the remaining eight.

It's back to business. Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means that while the action is happening live on the east coast, it's being explained in a wacky and convoluted sort of way here, complete with random thoughts and random typos, so if you want to be spoiled hang around, because I'll be publishing at every important break. If you want to remain pure until the execution is aired in your area, you need to leave. But remember to return and moan and groan (or jump and celebrate) with the rest of us.

Because the show is about to start!
_______

Ryan promises us surprises as he introduces the judges. (And Mandisa is in the audience!) We get a review of IGB, because it's been 24 hours since it aired and, since it ran over, many of us didn't get to see the end except on youtube.com. Over $60 million has been raised and Ryan implores us to keep calling and downloading the show's songs from iTunes. (There's a link in the sidebar for your convenience...and a commission for me. Shameless, I know.)

The kids reprise their Shout to the Lord finale song that TiVo didn't record. No cheezy choreography. Just some simply swaying and audience strolling. And a really big church choir. Very nice, even though this group does struggle with singing as a group.
_______

They're still airing the "give money" promos, but I love Zach and Cody, so I don't mind.

Over 31 million votes were phoned in from people not pledging money. It's time to start setting the field.

Brooke White is first. She is reminded of her reviews. And after telling everyone about her sister's wedding this weekend, she tells herself she's safe.
David Cook is next. The hairstyle is disturbing. He gets reminded he was called "pompous." And he's safe. Good. Now I can keep watching the show.
David Archuleta is summoned. And the moshers are told to shut the hell up. Well, sorta. And, no surprise, he is also safe.
The safe people celebrate as we're shown the empty stools of death. And go to commercial.
_______

More IGB promos and a video that they, apparently, didn't have time for last night. Geesh, they aired that thing for three hours and still ran over. The video is both touching and disturbing. I hope the money goes to where it can do the most good.

And it's time for Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown and her new single No Air. Ryan and assorted people present the reigning idol with plaques recognizing her gazillion sales/downloads. Good girl, Jordin!
_______

At least all of the IGB festivities didn't keep us from crappy - but colorful - Ford commercial. The Idols are Celebrating!

Jason Castro is called to center stage. He's reminded that the judges gushed over him. And he's told he's safe.
Kristy Lee Cook is called. And she's safe too.
That leaves Carly Smithson, Michael Johns and Syesha Mercado in the bottom three. People boo. _______

More IGB promos, including a wonderfully snarky John McCain. I actually snickered.

The bottom three are standing center stage. Randy is surprised. Paula says the three is "partly right, partly wrong." Simon is typically smug. And Ryan throws us to commercial.
_______

And they're back.

Michael, Carly and Syesha are reminded of their song selections and their judges comments.

Syesha and Carly are told they're safe. Michael is left, people boo, and Ryan tells us it's the end of Michael's road.

I didn't see that one coming. Ruben sings while we watch MJ's journey.

The judges offer him advice, Simon gets one more dig in about a bad song selection, and Michael sings the show out.

Wow. I am still surprised. I think it was the scarf.

See ya Michael. And good luck.

the final 8: inspire me...

It was billed as a night of inspirational music. So I fully expected to jump from my chair at the end of the hour, grab my superhero's cape and save the planet.

Saving the planet will have to wait. I went to bed.

After a promising start to this season, it seems we may have hit the plateau, where the show starts to lag a little, the kids become a little more tired and the weeks until the finale seem like years.

Or maybe it's just me.

It was another night of pleasantry, with only a couple of poor performances thrown in, but, as has become the norm the past few weeks, nothing memorable, nothing that I'll be rewatching for days. I want to be grabbed and shaken by the throat again. Is that too much to ask?

But, at least, by the end of the week, aside from being constantly reminded how many gazillions of dollars was raised, we can kiss goodbye to the back-slapping, self-congratulatory thing that is Idol Gives Back. There is that.

So anyway, here are my reviews from the evening, a day late and a dime short, but as always from worst to first:

Carly Smithson (The Show Must Go On). It was Carly at her oversinging angriest. Simon's observation that she lost control of the song was spot-on, and his prediction that Carly could be in trouble is right. I don't know what else to say about this performance except to say that it was a trainwreck. And trainwrecks don't inspire me.

Syesha Mercado (I Believe). This is the seventh season of American Idol. Among the cardinal rules for this show is that an Idol wannabe does not choose to sing the crappy coronation song of an Idol winnerwas. You just don't do it. Just say no. The judges will compare you to the original, and you will pale in comparison. The voters will either be offended that you thought you had the chops to imitate their beloved champ or be offended that you evoked wretched memories of that Idol that they believe should never had made the finals, much less won. You can't win. Enough with the Whitney, enough with the Fantasia, Syesha. You are doing yourself no favors.

Brooke White (You've Got a Friend). I hate saying this, but Brooke is teetering on boring. I like this girl, best of the remaining women, but I knew in my gut that she would find something in the Carole King library to choose. And when one becomes predictable, well, one becomes overlooked. Brooke needs to pull out a performance that forces people to want to vote for her. Instead she pulled out a snoozer that made me want to go to bed instead.

David Cook (Innocent). David #2 has been applauded all season for his "originality," pulling out little-known arrangements of well-known songs to great success. Last night he pulled out a little-known song, which can turn voters off by itself, but, for the first time, performed it weakly, often being completely deluged by the band and enormous throng of background singers. The "read the hand" moment was a nice touch, but the jacket would have been perfect on Beatles night. Luckily for him, he should have enough cash stored in the bank to avoid any trips to the stools tomorrow.

Kristy Lee Cook (Anyway). Who knew? Okay, she's no Martina McBride. Hell, she's not even Martina Hingis, but after a season's worth of less-than-staying-worth quality and countless escapes from the final sing-out, Kristy's was the only performance that really made me smile. Not because it was Grammy-worthy, but because, for her, it was her shining, memorable moment. It will either be a good note on which to leave, or it will buy her a "get off the stool free" card. Which one is yet to be seen.

David Archuleta (Angels). I'm not a big fan of this song, but I did appreciate Archuleta's understated and simple approach to it. His voice was strong, the piano was a good touch and his facial expressions have improved tremendously, allowing his talent to become the focus of the performance.

Michael Johns (Dream On). What's up with the ascot? There was just something contradictory about performing Aerosmith whilst wearing one. But I digress. I don't know why the judges (save Paula) didn't appreciate this outing. I do understand that, in comparison with David Cook, MJ doesn't come off as the true "rocker" of the bunch, and I still don't think we've seen the showstopper he's capable of, but, aside from the Hollywood rounds, this was my favorite Michael moment thus far.

Jason Castro (Over the Rainbow). Okay, I'll be honest. In a wicked, almost perverse way, I was really hoping that Castro would perform this song sprawled out on the floor with bare feet, so that I could erase memories of the last time this song was sung on this show. But, truthfully, I preferred the sprawled out on the stool with a simple ukulele. And after having heard myriad overwrought, oversung versions of this classic, the simplicity of this arrangement was refreshing. It was Jason's best performance in weeks.

So there they are for what they're worth. So now comes the hard part, because going home could be any one of four women.

Who I want: Carly, Syesha, Brooke
Who should: Brooke, Carly, Syesha
Who will: Carly, Syesha, Brooke

Maybe it's just me, but ever since her visit to the bottom three, Carly has had a desperate air about her. She has to know that against the guys, she won't win. But she seems to think she does not deserve to sit on stools. And the minute voters get wind of any sense of entitlement from these kids, the urge to vote seems to wane.

And for that reason, I think Carly's in for the shock of her life.

So. What do you think?

parton me while we sing dolly...

It was no April Fool's joke that the nine remaining Idols were given the task of picking through the Dolly Parton songbook. And the result? Another night of pleasantry: nothing extraordinary but nothing near the level of wretched either.

Mediocrity bores me.

And while I appreciate the work of Dolly Parton, both as a songwriter and as an artist, I can't help but believe that the more broad theme of country music would have suited the final nine much better. And it's not like Ms. Parton couldn't have lent her considerable knowledge of the country music industry. The woman's been a staple of the field for a century. Or so.

But they didn't, so here are my thoughts on the night, a day late but as usual, from worst to first.

Ramiele Malubay (Do I Ever Cross Your Mind). Once again Ramiele turns in an unmemorable performance, at times drowned out by the band in the rafters, at times off tune and often wavering on those sustained notes that plague her. I don't know how she has escaped the bottom so often, but her time may be up after this.

Brooke White (Jolene). Simon was right when he told Brooke that she seemed to be just trying to get through the song, one of Dolly's most wrenching. It was performed sufficiently - I like Brooke when she's playing the guitar - but it left me empty, a strange departure for Brooke.

Jason Castro (Travelin' Thru). I have to give the guys a little latitude with this theme, but Jason continues to disappoint me with his sleepwalking versions over the past couple of weeks. Like Brooke, it was not bad. It was just 90 seconds of time that I don't remember.

Syesha Mercado (I Will Always Love You). When contestants become so predictable that we can review them before they sing, it's usually a sign their time is up. Who didn't expect this song from this girl? And ever idealistic, I had hopes at first that Syesha would stick to the Dolly version and not fall into the Whitney trap. Alas. Good front part, disappointing back part and a note overheld so long that it caused the show to run long.

Kristy Lee Cook (Coat of Many Colors). Kristy gets points for the bare feet. I think most people expected Kristy to thrive in her genre theme, and while Simon thought her flag-waving performance from the week before was better, I agree with Paula that it was her best. She was smart not to try to embellish with vocal acrobats a song whose lyrics tell a sad story. And while she may find herself singing into the credits tonight, she will go out on a high note.

Carly Smithson (Here You Come Again). This is one of the Dolly songs that I really like, and part of its appeal is the tempo. Carly takes the tempo waaaaaay down, which throws me a bit and after a few more listens I still don't really like, but she has made strides in correcting, at the suggestion of the judges, her facial expressions. Now work on the wardrobe, says Simon. Find sleeves, say I. I'm not a tattoo bigot, but even after all these weeks, I still find myself so distracted by them that I forget she's singing. And if I am doing it, I'm sure I'm not alone.

Michael Johns (It's All Wrong, But It's All Right). Michael gets the pimp spot, but because of an hour show, countless commercials, pointless banter and Syesha's five-minute glory note, his performance and post-performance moment feels too rushed. The judges gush, however briefly, over his bluesy interpretation of Dolly's song, calling it his best to date. I have heard him better, but on this night, pretty good is, well, pretty good.

David Cook (Little Sparrow). David Cook takes a moment pre-performance to satisfy all of those naysayers who are accusing him of stealing arrangements, and he takes pains to inform us that he arranged the version of Dolly's song by himself. He then turns in a heartfelt, acoustic version of a song I don't know very well in the style we've come to expect from him. And thankfully he is fine after a health scare.

David Archuleta (Smoky Mountain Memories). Archuleta seems to be off one week, on the next. This was beautiful, easily the best performance of the night. And his stage presence and facial expressions seem to be improving weekly.

So now the tough part. The group is clearly dividing itself into the contenders and the rest, led by the guys and Brooke, leaving any one of the others as the dispensable kid, so on a night when all things are pretty much equal, it's hard to pick the obvious boot.

So I'll toss a coin.

Who I want: Syesha, Ramiele, Kristy Lee
Who should: Syesha, Ramiele, Jason
Who will: Syesha, Ramiele, Jason

And Ramiele, you've slipped under the eviction radar for weeks, so be grateful for the time you've had. I had such high expectations for you, but you just didn't live up to them.

So who's in your bottom three?

10-1=9: a SIMULBLOG!...

Last night they celebrated their birthyears (and Jason his birthday) but tonight it's a funeral as one of the 10 becomes a memory until the finale.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And hopes and dreams die here.

And this is a SIMULBLOG where the typing is happening fast and furiously while the action is unfolding on the East Coast, with a publish at every important break, so if you want to know, stick around and chat. If you want to wait, leave. Leave now. Run. Do not walk.

But run back to dish the dirt with the rest of us.

Because the show's about to start!
_______

Ryan has the kids lined up on the stage, asking which one of the ten is gonna sing over the credits tonight. Kim Locke is in the house (YAY!), we're promised a behind-the-scenes something and yes...more phone calls.

And they begin the night with yet another pitch to the songwriters everywhere to submit their recipes. Uh, I mean syrupy ballads.

It's a GROUP SING, complete with chest bumps and the cheeziest of choreography. The more cheeze the better! YAY for the cheeze!
_______

We get to watch the kids as they record their iTunes studio versions. They're cute as they record their singles, and we find out that Ramiele has downloaded David, Michael and Jason. I wonder if she had to pay a buck each.

Probably. Idol is cheap.

We are treated to last night's recap which goes on for longer than last night did.

And we're on it...

The sofa means safe. The stool means they're possibly in the toilet. (Sorry.)

Chikezie is called out first. He's terrified. He gets his reviews and is sent to the stool.
Here comes Brooke White. She defends her use of the band despite the criticisms. She's sent to the sofa of safety.
Carly Smithson is summoned. And after a discussion about pregnancy and Spanx, she's told she's safe and runs to the safety of Brooke's arms.

And it's time for commercial.
_______

That was an interesting crappy Ford commercial.

David Archuleta is called to the stage. And not surprisingly, he's safe.
David Cook has something interesting and curious hanging from his waist. He's told to head to the sofa.
Syesha Mercado is brought out. She's reminded that she got great reviews and is told to hit the stools with Chikezie.
Michael Johns appears. Then disappears to the sofa with the good people.
_______

Dolly Parton is scheduled to be here next week. That means only one thing. It's COUNTRY NIGHT. YeeHaw! Kristy Lee, you're gonna be safe again!
_______

We're back and the idiots are line six. And as much as I hate these phone calls, it's better than somebody pimping a CD.

Unless it's Kimberley Locke. YAY! I love her! She looks FAB. And sounds terrific. Welcome back Kimmell.
_______

Ramiele Malubay is called to the stage. She's told she's safe.
Jason Castro and Kristy Lee Cook step to the stage together. They are reminded of their reviews. America voted and sends Kristy to the safe sofa and Jason to the bad stools.

Jason is joined by Syesha and Chikezie. Jason talks far too much until Ryan shuts him up, sending him to the sofa. Chikezie whispers sweet somethings in Syesha's ear as we're sent to this word from your sponsors.
_______

The highest single show vote this season sends Chikezie home. He listens as Ruben sings him home and watches as we remember his journey.

Ryan thanks half of the world and Chikezie sings us into the credits.

So long Chikezie. You are cool.

screams, queen and billie jean...

The ten finalists dug through the musical history books Tuesday to scour the charts on a very special year: the year of their birth. Our present? A night of 80s music with a 70s song and a 90s number thrown in for spice.

And our gift? A night of pleasant performances and the resurrection of Kristy Lee Cook. At least for now.

In a group this deep of talent, no one stood out as being the absolute worst - except, perhaps, the increasingly-annoying-screaming-waving "mosh pit" and the jewelry box that vomited all over Paula.

But here are my opinions, a day late and a dime short, and as always from worst to first:

Ramiele Malubay (Alone). Ramiele, we found out post-performance, had lost her voice, so even though sick puppies don't normally get sympathy from the judges, I give her some leeway. Told the song was too big for her, I can't help but agree, and, in the inevitable comparisons with Carrie Underwood, who turned this song into her season four signature, the short one pales in comparison.

Chikezie No-Longer-Eze (If Only For One Night). Chikezie admits he knows it's a risk to pull another ballad out of his hat after the disaster of the orange suit, but decides to do it anyway. And while it's not bad at all, it doesn't have the "sit up and take notice" vibe that this guy, of all the guys, needs to hang in there much longer. He has to know he's on borrowed time and that it's in his best interest to perform like there's no tomorrow. And there may not be.

Kristy Lee Cook (God Bless the USA). Simon calls her song choice the most brilliant in possibly forever. And despite the traditional flat notes, she turns in her best performance of the season, surrounded by images of flags and amber waves of grain. Who doesn't love a good, old-fashioned, apple pie patriotic moment? Kristy, you're safe.

Carly Smithson (Total Eclipse of the Heart). Carly appears still stunned over her appearance in the bottom three the previous week. The judges pick up on her "tenseness". I sensed a bit more desperation in this performance than I've seen in the past, and that final run to wrap up the performance was really not necessary.

Jason Castro (Fragile). Simon calls this performance Jason's second poor one in a row. I don't think it was quite as high on the bad meter as last week, and even Jason admits he should have practiced the guitar more. He's accused of not taking the show seriously, and I can see the merits in that accusation, but Jason's style is his style.

David Archuleta (You're the Voice). David #1 could use some tips on working the stage, but he's making vast improvements on some of the facial distractions, so that's a good thing. Paula tells him he could sing the phone book, and she's probably right, but Simon calls his song choice crappy and one better suited for a theme part, and he's right too. David, wasn't there another song from 1990 that you could have chosen?

Syesha Mercado (If I Were Your Woman). When I hear this song, I think, of course, of Gladys Knight. And while this arrangement left me wishing the Pips would jump out from the band rafters (or up from the annoying moshers), the judges were right in calling it Syesha's finest vocal performance of the season.

Brooke White (Every Breath You Take). After an initial oopsie, that wisely causes her to stop and restart, Brooke pulls off a soft version of this Police classic. The judges praise and pan the performance, praising the front part which featured just Brooke and her piano keys, but panning the second half when Ricky Minor brings in his band, increasing the tempo.

Michael Johns (We Are the Champions). The first time Michael made a huge impression on this show was with the Queen classic Bohemian Rhapsody during Hollywood week. So after being told he still hadn't found his premier song, he decides to dip back into the Queen catalog and turns in his best performance to date. Finally the Aussie makes an impression, after standing the shadows for all these weeks.

David Cook (Billie Jean). Yes David #2 turns in another cover of another cover. And yes, the judges fawn all over him, calling him original, either not knowing that he's borrowing someone else's arrangement or, fully aware of that, commending him for taking the road less traveled. I am well aware of all of that. But he does make a brave choice here, choosing the well-known Michael Jackson song, but taking the lesser-known Chris Cornell take on it, just like he's done in past weeks. It pays off. And he shows in 90 seconds that maybe this race isn't as clear-cut as most of us thought.

So there they are, for what they're worth. So now the question is who is leaving, since we know Kristy Lee is safe.

Who I want: Chikezie, Ramiele, Kristy Lee (for old time's sake)
Who should: Chikezie, Ramiele and Kristy Lee (because my keyboard is on autopilot)
Who will: Chikezie, Ramiele, Syesha

This is a tough call, but I think Chikezie will regret choosing that ballad.

So, who's in your bottom three?

See you tonight for a crappy group sing, crappy Ford commercial and the FAB Kimberley Locke!

beatles, part deux...is that english?

Back by popular demand?

Tell popular to mind his own business.

Ryan introduces the top 11 performance episode explaining that a second week of Beatles tunes is on tap because somebody demanded it.

When I find out who that was, I will hunt him down and kill him, because what prevailed on Beatles Part Two night was a two-hour celebration of boring mediocrity. Everything the Beatles weren't about.

But enough of my moaning about the theme. It was what it was.

And here are my reviews, as always from worst to first, and they are what they are.

Kristy Lee Cook (You've Got to Hide Your Love Away). I flirted with putting Kristy Lee first this week, because the girl's got more lives than 14 cats. But I can't. At least she didn't haul out the steel guitar and fiddle for this, but she didn't do anything with this song to merit placing anywhere other than last. Hey, the girl couldn't even make HEY! sound interesting. How many lives do 14 cats have anyway?

Michael Johns (A Day in the Life). The judges rightfully panned the arrangement. Instead of trying to deliver a 90-second buffet of the entire song, he should have just stuck to one of the verses. As a result, it was an off-key, errant, erratic mish-mash of a classic song that left me asking why the guy I originally picked as a possible winner has left absolutely no impression so far - good or bad.

Chikezie No-Longer-Eze (I've Just Seen a Face). Oh boy. Everything that went right with his breakout performance last week went wrong with his second trip to Beatle-land. What started off somewhat strong was suddenly blown (pun intended) when he whipped out his harmonica and shifted into bluegrass mode. It was perfect last week. This week not so much.

Jason Castro (Michelle). Who knew Ma Belle was French?? He thought it was English. It's fortunate that Jason has an adoring fan group, because his high school talent contest treatment of this song - thoroughly devoid of meaning or emotion - on its own certainly wouldn't garner him any. If there was any doubt, there isn't now: Jason without his guitar is kinda like Oreos without milk.

Ramiele Malubay (I Should Have Known Better). Ramiele still is struggling to find the right song. She hit every note, she appeared somewhat comfortable on stage, it was far better than the snoozer she turned in last week, but, even with the more up-tempo number, she just sang the lyrics, and, much like Jason, basically sleepwalked through the whole performance. And like Jason, it wasn't bad. It just was.

Amanda Overmyer (Back in the USSR). I wonder how many parents had to explain to their kids exactly what the USSR was. Simon tells Amanda that she's falling deeper into the predictability pit, and she tries to explain that in only 90 seconds a week, she is trying to advertise what people will see when they sell out a Lafayette bar. Good point, Amanda. And, personally, I hope she doesn't try any melodic ballads anytime soon, because she is the performer that she is, and, as she proved at points of this performance, she struggles with melodies. They get in the way of the growl. But I actually enjoyed this performance somewhat, not as much as previous outings, but in relation to the evening, her kick-off number left some of the others in the dust.

Brooke White (Here Comes the Sun). In a yellow dress that reminded me of a Goodwill commercial, Brooke woo-woos and whoas her way through this yawner then makes the ill-conceived mistake of trying to talk over the judges as they give her her first (justifiable) criticisms of the season.

Carly Smithson (Blackbird). My first thought as Carly took the stage was that the producers must have fired the clothing staff to pay for the new set, primarily because I'm trying to steel myself for one of my least-favorite Beatles songs. Simon calls the choice "indulgent" and I'm still trying to figure out what he means by that. Randy calls it a word that can be found only in the Randy dictionary, and Carly explains that the song represents the Idols as they fix their broken wings and fly above the mosh pit. Or something like that. I'm too distracted by the tattooed "7" on her finger to really try to understand the metaphor.

Syesha Mercado (Yesterday). When I first heard Beatles night, my first question was which Idol would pull out possibly the most iconic of songs. Syesha was never my pick. But, sitting on stage alongside a single guitarist, looking quite lovely, she does an admirable job with the most beautiful of songs and in the process probably saves herself a repeat trip to center stage.

David Cook (Day Tripper). I spent the first half of this performance waiting for him to pull a Terry Fator, considering he took the stage with two microphones in addition to the return of his guitar. But he pulls out a Peter Frampton instead and voice boxes through the middle of the song. It's a cool gimmick and Paula tells him he's ready for a Geico commercial, pleasing David to no end, I'm sure. (Where does Paula come up with these things? Rhetorical question, I know.) It's not one of Cook's best performances, but this Cook's worst is better than the other Cook's best.

David Archuleta (The Long and Winding Road). David laughs at his disaster of the previous week in his pre-performance clip, assuring tweeners and their parents that the most vulgar work in his vocabulary is "dang." Somehow I actually believe that. He then delivers my favorite of all Beatles ballads without missing a note. Or a word. And while technically it was flawless, I think I finally know what is bugging me about him, aside from the lick-lipping which he seems to have controlled somewhat. It's his eyes, which don't fully reflect the emotion of his vocals. I know it's a nit-picky point, but it's a night where I have to find a nit to pick with everybody.

So who's staying? Depends on who's leaving.

Who I want: Kristy Lee, Michael, and somebody else.
Who should: Kristy Lee, Michael, Amanda
Who will: Kristy Lee, Michael, Ramiele

I have called for Kristy Lee's ouster now for approximately three weeks, and the voters are determined to drive me to drink. But, considering the alternatives, I honestly believe it's time to cut her loose. The ones who remain, after all, go on the tour, and all of the ones remaining deserve those spots.

So we'll see.

Who's your bottom three?

See you tonight.

hey dudes, don't make it bad...

Somewhere in heaven, John Lennon is crying.

The final 12 - the best. talent. ever. - took to the big stage to open the finals of the seventh season by getting the opportunity no Idol cast has ever had: to open the pages of the Lennon/McCartney songbook, tear out the pages and turn them into spitballs.

Because THIS is American Idol.

But more on that in a bit.

First things first. Ryan shows us the new stage. I'm not impressed. And I don't like the band in the rafters. And I hate the so-called "mosh pit" of screaming people posing a distraction to me and the performers. And I'm sad to see the traditional opening replaced by this new and improved model, although I will give it a few weeks to sink in before I decide I don't like it.

Those changes, however, were merely cosmetic, and should have prepared me for the whiplash of love and hate I was going to spend the next two hours experiencing.

Best. Talent. Ever.

Rethink that line, Randy.

Nevertheless, here they are, my impressions, biased and emotional as they are, a day later as normal and, as always, from worst to first.

Kristy Lee Cook (Eight Days a Week). Potentially the worst finals performance ever in the history of mankind. What she did to this song was unspeakable. Therefore, I will not speak of it.

David Archuletta (We Can Work it Out). Normally when a performer fluffs the lyrics in the finals, that performer is automatically put at the end (or in this case, the beginning) of the line, but David #1 is fortunate enough to go last, following Kristy, which is the only thing that saves him from the bottom. Flubbing the lyrics is unforgivable at this stage of the game, and it's especially unforgivable when it's a classic song. The wonderboy stumbles right out of the gate, never gets any semblance of footing and proceeds to thoroughly destroy this song, justifiably getting his guts ripped out by the judges for the first time this season.

David Hernandez (I Saw Her Standing There). Lucky for David #3, David #1 flubbed his lines. I give David #3 points for using the stage, both in front of and behind the judges, and I give him props for wardrobe, but that's where any praise begins and ends. This was an out-of-breath, over-wrought mess, which should land him standing on the stage tonight.

Ramiele Malubay (In My Life). This is a simple, beautiful, elegant, poignant song. And better suited for the studio than for the stage. Ramiele has a beautiful voice, and her vocals were fine, but she proved that a poor song selection, even performed adequately, does not keep you in the game.

Syesha Mercado (Got to Get You Into My Life). Oh what she could have done with the Beatles version instead of Earth, Wind and Fire's. But whatever. Leading off the show, her performance is not offensive, but not memorable either. In fact, I had forgotten all about her until the ending retrospective of performances. But in that retrospect, she wasn't all that bad. And on a night like this, that's high praise.

Amanda Overmyer (You Can't Do That). Simon was exactly right when he told the rocker that this performance wasn't on par with the performance from the week before, and I might have placed Amanda higher if I had understood at least 30 percent of the lyrics. But I couldn't. So I didn't. But on a night of song slaughter, she wasn't all that bad, and it was entertaining.

[The following six performances saved the show. I am struggling to order them, because I enjoyed each of them so much, that they really could be interchangeable, and I would be satisfied. So, while I will fall short of calling it a tie, it's as close as one.]

Michael Johns (Across the Universe). This is such a pretty song. And Michael delivered it exactly as it should be delivered: simply and elegantly. He gets unfairly slammed for not "making the song his own". Note to Simon: when the song is great, you don't mess with it. Otherwise you get Kristy Lee.

Jason Castro (If I Fell). I really enjoyed Jason's acoustic version of this song, even though he seemed to struggle in parts with the upper notes. But his almost folk styling is part of why I find him so attractive. And, if there hadn't been better performances, his would have easily found its way to the top of the list.

Carly Smithson (Come Together). While I'm not a fan of Carly, I can't help but become more and more enamored with her. This was wild, energetic, fun and unique, so much so that, in his praise, Simon invokes the holy name of Clarkson. That's a bit much, because Carly's got a lot more to prove before we can start making comparisons, but it was a great start. Note to Carly: wear sleeves.

Chikezie No-Longer-Eze (She's a Woman). I loved this. I loved this. From the sweater vest to the vocals to the stage presence to the enthusiasm, the guy I predicted first out totally rocked the house and went from being an afterthought to a contender in 90 seconds. Wonderful!

David Cook (Eleanor Rigby). My favorite Idol takes on one of my favorite songs. I must have done something good yesterday. And, while Randy was right, David #2 did struggle briefly with the front of the song, once he hit his stride there was no stopping him. Simon is right. If talent and not personality drives the vote, this David might have a shot of winning it all. But we know better.

Brooke White (Let It Be). First off, I admire any woman who takes the stage in her bare feet. Brooke did every single thing right with this song. She kept it simple. She stayed true to the melody, where a lesser singer might have foolishly attempted vocal acrobats. The beauty of this song, as it true with so many of the Lennon/McCartney songs, is its simplicity. It was perfection.

So there it is, the good, the bad and Kristy Lee.

Now is the time to boot off the last place finisher, amid a return from Kat McPhee and the announcement of the three mentors. (And there had better be a crappy Ford commercial in there somewhere and, with apologies to Paul McCartney, a group medley, if we have to sit for an hour to find out who's outta here.)

So who stays? And who goes?

Who I want: Kristy Lee, David #3 and David #1 because he forgot the lyrics.
Who should: Kristy Lee, David #3 and Ramiele (Kristy Lee)
Who will: Kristy Lee, David #3 and Syesha

Kristy Lee has already overstayed her welcome.

The tribe has spoken; it's time for her to go. Oh wait. Wrong show.

So, who's going home?

8 girls, 6 spots: against all odds...

So the semi-final performance episodes end with eight girls just wanting to have fun dancing with somebody to the beat of the songs of the eighties.

Next week - the big stage.

The girls didn't deliver, as a group, as entertaining a show as their male counterparts the night before, but despite two Whitney songs, one Celine song and one song I never want to hear again ever ever in this or any other lifetime, it was, to date, their best outing.

Because THIS is American Idol. And sometimes they're good. Sometimes they're great and, well, sometimes Paula is coherent.

In fact, I found myself more annoyed with the judges, who wasted precious time in yet another one of their "it's all about us" modes. Thought this year it was going to be all about the kids. Alas.

Nonetheless, here are my reviews, a day late as usual but as always, from worst to first.

Kady Malloy (Who Wants to Live Forever). And to think I cringed a little when Miss Kady took on Heart last week. Imagine what happened to me when I found out she was doing Queen. Even though it was an improvement over the unspeakable act she committed the week before, she didn't deliver anything close to saving her chances to advance to the finals. But I said that last week, so no promises.

Ramiele Malubay (Against All Odds). I hate this song with the intensity of a trillion Easy Bake Ovens. I hated it when Corey Clark sang it; I tolerated Scott Savol's version, and I detested Kat McPhee's. On the hate-o-meter, Ramiele's version falls somewhere between zero and Savol. I won't even try to critique her vocal skills, because I doubt that the next time (God forbid) I have to pull out the Against All Odds Crappy Troop, I'll have forgotten she did it. It was that good.

Kristy Lee Cook (Faithfully). Actually I didn't find her country-fried version of Randy's Journey hit too terribly offensive. I just didn't find it all that good either. Kristy needs, if she survives this week, to establish herself very firmly as this season's country singer. And this, while a modest attempt to do that, didn't fully do so.

Asia'h Epperson (I Wanna Dance with Somebody). Asia'h starts the show with a Whitney number, but fortunately for us, it's not one of her "loud" ones. Asia'h is okay in a sweet, bouncy sort of way, but her version of this song lacked any sense of originality or spark. The judges say she's earned a spot into the finals, despite calling her effort "second-rate Whitney Houston." She may have earned a spot, but I'm not sure she'll get one.

Syesha Mercado (Saving All My Love For You). Again, luck prevails when Syesha, who insists on diving head first into the Whitney book of 80s songs, doesn't pull out one of the "loud" ones. And so we begin the show with a Whitney song and we end the show the same way. Like Asia'h, Syesha doesn't do anything terribly unpredictable with the song, but unlike Asia'h who kicked off the night and was likely forgotten seven performances later, Syesha benefits from the anchor spot, one and two-word concise judging assessments, the close of the show and the opening of the lines. She's lucky.

Brooke White (Love is a Battlefield). Brooke forgoes the instruments this week. She forgoes most of the band. She forgoes her feet too! Sitting on the edge of the eyeball stage, she turns this Pat Benatar classic into a sad, lingering, almost-folk ballad. Randy and Paula are so-so on her arrangement, but Simon brightens her face, calling it her second straight great performance. I concur with Simon.

Amanda Overmyer (I Hate Myself for Loving You). I am already trying to figure out which Beatles song Amanda may pull out of her hat if she makes it that far. After last week's poor song choice meets poor song performance disaster, Amanda gets back into her rocker groove and pulls out all the stops to go from almost worst to almost first in the matter of seven days. The unfortunate thing for her is that she is turning into the one-trick pony Simon feared, even though he lavishes her with praise. She is obviously taking her critiques to heart, though, as she toned the cosmetics and softened the hair, showing off how really pretty she is. Now if she would just pretend to be happy to be there. Baby steps.

Carly Smithson (I Drove All Night). Okay, so this is technically a Cyndi Lauper song, but Celine worked better in the intro. Shoot me. I'm not the biggest Carly fan, so it takes a superior effort for her to take top honors from me. Despite the sleevelessness, which I find myself distracted by, Carly does put this song in its place without hitting a bump or a single pothole.

Tonight is final 12 night. I pegged Luke and Chikeze to be without seats. The women are bit more tricky, and I would like for more than two to leave. But them's the rules.

Who I want: Kady and Kristy.
Who should: Kady and Kristy.
Who will: Kady and Asia'h.

See you tonight.

10 girls, 8 spots: i sing opera...

The 1970s was a good decade. Too bad Wednesday night's girls got totally cold-cocked by them.

I've seen some bad semi-finals rounds. And last night ranks right up there, once again making me loathe this unfortunate need for gender equity on this show.

Let's hope it was just the flu. Or Mercury in retrograde. Or global warming.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And these are my impressions, after subjecting myself to two viewings of each performance, and, as always, from worst to first.

Kady Malloy (Magic Man). Honestly, I didn't think anyone could or would deliver a more out-of-tune, poorly-chosen and poorly-delivered performance than the rocker nurse. Boy. When I am wrong, I admit it. If Kady continues past tonight, it's on the basis of pity. And I'm going to stop there while I'm still being kind.

Amanda Overmyer (Carry On my Wayward Son). Holy Mother of God, what has this girl done with her hair? And what has she done with her skill? Maybe she was distracted about being this year's first scandal victim, but I can count on one hand how many notes she delivered that were actually in tune. I've seen bad, and this ranks right up there. In fact, if I knew how to spell the sound of agony, I'd be able to describe the sound that came out of my pup during this performance. If Amanda stays past tonight, it will be on the strength of the VFTW vote.

Alaina Whitaker (Hopelessly Devoted to You). I was hoping we'd get through the night without having to hear this oversung song. Nothing was right with this performance, from the hair to the wardrobe to the song choice to the song delivery. But following Amanda, it wasn't all that noticeable. Now will somebody please remove all songs from Grease from the available songlist? Thank you.

Kristi Lee Cook (You're No Good). Kristi Lee is a tomboy, she assures us in her pre-performance clip. Maybe she was too busy fishing to dig deeper in the 50-title deep catalog. I didn't like this song when it was first recorded; I detest it now. Even the growling didn't rescue this effort, even though, as the judges pointed out, it was light years better than her effort last week. Simon reminds her that she's this year's token country music rep. She promises to represent next week. If she's still there, that is.

Syesha Mercado (Me and Mr. - formerly Mrs. - Jones). This was just dumb. The key to the song - the thing that makes the song make sense - is the Mrs. And Syesha tries to turn it around. She loses points just for that. And then she didn't sing it all that sexily, but again, on a night like this, she's better than most.

Asia'h Epperson (All By Myself). After totally swallowing the second note, Asia'h tries her best to rebound, taking what should have been the Eric Carmen version instead of attempting the diva version. Simon informs her she's not a good enough singer to take on Celine. I'm not sure she's a good enough singer to take on Eric Carmen.

Ramiele Malubay (Don't Leave Me This Way). Geesh. And I really thought we'd get through the 70s without having to hear disco. Everything that Ramiele kicked butt with last week she seemed to leave in last week. But I still love her and firmly believe she's in no danger of leaving anytime soon.

Alexandrea Lushington (If you Leave Me Now). Something about Alex-and-Rea's outfit (which was FAB) and this song just didn't match. But whatever. Up till now, I've liked the richness and strength of her voice, but this performance came across as too thin. Randy whips out the "safe" attack. He's exactly right.

Carly Smithson (Crazy On You). Carly starts the show whipping out this Heart song because she says she loves them and this song is one of her all-time faves.. And the anointed one, who served up massive disappointment last week, redeems the judges (and producers') faith in her. It wasn't an Idol-winning worthy performance, but on a night like this, it was good enough. Simon says she's the girl to beat, but he prods her to find better songs. Note to Simon: they sing what you let them sing.

Brooke White (You're So Vain). She's just so cute! Brooke needs to find any and every reason, excuse and loophole to keep getting those Carly Simon/Carole King songs. She is perfect in that mold, and, with guitar in hand, turns in the best performance of the night, virtually assuring herself a ticket to the big stage.

So who's staying and who's leaving. I think VFTW will save Amanda, so my money is on Kady, who should be kicked off twice just on principle and - geesh just flip a coin - either Alaina or Asia'h.

So, who's on your short list?

12 girls, 10 spots: it's like christmas...

The flu was the star of Wednesday's first female semi-final, as many of the ladies were reported to be at death's door just prior to belting out the songs of the 60s in the hope of advancing to next week when the theme will be heaven knows what.

Some of them pretty much assured themselves of moving into next week and possibly onto the summer tour, while a couple pretty much assured themselves of having next Wednesday free.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is my assessment of the first female outing, a little late, as will be the custom this season, but, as always, from worst to first.

Amy Davis (Where the Boys Are). This song can be done well. It can be. It wasn't. At all. Enough said.

Kristy Lee Cook (Rescue Me). Kristy Lee, who has sickness written all over her face and gets zero sympathy from the judges, has to lead off and fulfills the prophecy. She's begging to be rescued. So am I.

Joanne Borgella (Say a Little Prayer for You). No mention of illness for Joanne, and that's too bad, because it would have been a plausible explanation for what she did to this Dionne Warwick classic. Randy says the first half was bad, but the second half okay. Simon says the second half was worse than the first half. I put them both together and call the whole thing wrong.

Kady Malloy (Groovy Kind of Love). Kady picks another one of my favorites, but slows it down to the point that it took a few bars to recognize it. This is not a ballad, Kady. Randy is exactly right that the song had a start, middle and end that never varied. That equals boring. The most enjoyable part of Kady's stage appearance was the look that could, shoulda, woulda struck Simon dead.

Brooke White (Happy Together). Another retread from the boys night before, but no complaints from me because I love the song, and I enjoyed both performances, although I think Brooke could have ended with a word other than "baa."

Alexandrea Lushington (Spinning Wheel). While Randy and Paula were drooling over this performance, I found myself siding with Simon. I love Alexandrea's attitude, but the vocals and the arrangement of this number just left me unsatisfied. But Alexandrea (and I'm practicing saying the name) should advance based on the poor performances that preceded her and her winning style. I'm sold.

Alaina Whitaker (More Today than Yesterday). With only 50 songs from which to choose, it was inevitable that some of the gals would repeat selections from the guys. Alaina drop kicks Chickeze Eze's version, and, for the first time, leads me to think that another teenager could just slip through to the finals.

Syesha Mercado (Tobacco Road). My biggest issue with Syesha is her need to sing at the constant level of loud. She has proven she's got a great voice but she, like Amanda, needs to color it up a bit. But I don't think she has any fear of leaving anytime soon.

Carly Smithson (The Shadow of Your Smile). I love this song. And with as much hype that Carly has gotten since day one of this season, I really was hoping for a great rendition, especially since the apparent anointed one was given the pimp spot, and after Ramiele had already proven that staying true to the simplicity of the melody can pay off ten-fold. Randy and Paula's drooling aside, Simon was right: it just didn't live up to any semblance of expectation.

Amanda Overmyer (Baby, Please don't Go). Amanda tells us pre-preformance that she's going to boycott the Janis catalog, on the advice of Simon. So she scats through, impressing once again and, for the first time, delivers a friendly, funny and animated post-performance interview. I really hope, though, that she switches up the hairstyle, because I find it distracting.

Asia'h Epperson (Piece of my Heart). Asia'h picks up the Janis catalog that Amanda threw aside and delivers, possibly, the best big stage version of this song that the show has seen, both vocally and performance-wise. Simon calls it his favorite of the night, and on a night that Simon is being stingy with praise, that's saying a lot.

Ramiele Malubay (You Don't Have to Say You Love Me). This performance may have just plopped her at the top of my favorites list. Proving that ballads don't always have to bore, Ramiele grabbed my attention and never lost it. Excellent.

And here I didn't think the girls could be any worse than the guys. They weren't worse, certainly, but they weren't a whole lot better either.

So who leaves? With any luck, we will be waving bye to Amy Davis and Kristy Lee Cook. But, my money will be on Amy and Joanne, since Kristy needs to buy back her horse.

So, who leaves tonight? I will be simulblogging the results, so, if you want to join - or want to be spoiled - stop by and dish with me.