with 6 you get two: a SIMULBLOG...

Two songs anyway. After tonight we'll be treated to not one, but multiple performances from the lucky hangers-on, because when we're finished we'll be down to half the field. Finally. And in this year of gender parity, it seems fairly likely that tonight's victim will be female. Or at least she better be.

Because THIS is American Idol. And we kill people here. Or at least we try to kill their hopes and dreams along with their self-esteem. (At least the MJ fans think so.)

And this is a SIMULBLOG where I'm throwing away all self-censorship and typing as the action is happening live on the East Coast, with a publish at every significant break, so if you want to know, stick around and uncensor yourself. If you want to remain pure and unspoiled, then go. But come back and rant, rave or revel in the outcome.

All seven of them broke the cardinal rule about not singing Mariah Carey because she threatened to sing all 117 octives in their ear if they didn't. And Mariah is in the house, along with one of our favorite Idols evah, Mr. Elliott Yamin. So I can deal with the insipid phone calls if my man Elliott is gonna sing.

Ryan tells us almost 36 million votes were phoned in Tuesday. And they go immediately to the crappy group song. One Sweet Day, they sing. Pretty much separately. And their separate performances really highlight how crappy this group is as a, well, group. That was really not good.
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There is only one week left to vote in the All-American Crappy Coronation Song Contest (ACCSC)! Get to it voters!

We are made to watch the high and lowlights from last night's performance episode. At least they make them interesting by showing us bits and pieces of behind-the-scenes commentary from the kids. Brooke tells Simon that it hurt her feeling knowing that she was just an empty bun, for instance.

Time to get "down to business."

Jason Castro is summoned to join Ryan. He's reminded of his reviews and, as we expected, they're separating them into "groups." Jason starts "team Jason."

David Cook is called in. He says he was overwhelmed by the events of the week. He captains "team David", the team that all of the kool kids want to be in.

Carly Smithson is called in. She tells Simon he's been too tough on her this season. Simon tries to explain. Carly is sent to join Team Jason.

Kristy Lee Cook comes out. She is told she's on Team David.

Elliott is next! YAY!
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It's the crappy Ford commercial. The kids are puppets wanting the break free. Thankfully they found scissors.

Elliott takes the stage and Sway Penala joins Kenya and the background singers with Free. Claudette, Elliott's mom, who passed away recently, gets well-deserved remembrance. Season five, after all, would have not been season five without her. Good job Elliott.

The teams continue to be formed.

Syesha Mercado is told to join Carly on Team Jason.

Brooke White is told to join Team David, leaving little Archuleta, who waits backstage, to choose between the groups.
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Yay. Phone calls. I simply will not comment.

Mariah Carey sings Bye Bye. And, if her post-performance antics are any indication, she spent the first half of the show sipping out of Paula's cup.
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Let's get to the reason we're here!

Archuleta is brought to the stage, between Team David with Kristy and Brooke and Team Jason with Carly and Syesha. Archuleta is told he's safe.

Ryan tells David Cook to swap places with Syesha. I guess that means Team David is now Team Syesha. Hell, I'm confused.

Archuleta sits cross-legged the minute he's told to join the safe team. Ryan drags Team Jason/David/Carly to the squatter, leaving the bottom dwellers, Brooke, Syesha and Kristy.

After a commercial, Kristy, Brooke and Syesha stand center stage. Ryan sends Syesha back to the sofa to join her friends, the kook kids. Brooke and Kristy are all huggy. Randy says he can't call this week. Paula babbles. Simon avoids any more hamburger analogies.

Ryan tells Brooke she's safe and, after countless escapes from eviction, Kristy Lee Cook gets booted. How nice for her, though, that it was after a really good performance.

There are many many tears. We watch her journey as she listens to Ruben.

She makes the most of her final sing. Good girl Kristy. And good luck.

She better get her damn horse back.

this just in...

For all of us Elliott Yamin fans who were a bit bummed not to have seen him perform on AGB, good news!

He'll be back on the Idol stage tonight, performing. Evidentially the deal was finalized just last night to have one of the show's most beloved Idols return. And for those of us who were dreading an hour of Mariah Carey and phone calls actually have something to look forward to, aside from the inevitable boot of one of the women.

Don't worry Mariah fans; she is still slated to sing. After all, she has a CD to sell. But this is Idol, this is an Idol blog, and around these parts we prefer our alumni to all the folks that Randy Jackson has ever met in his entire lifetime.

Elliott again. Hmm. I do believe that makes more non-finale appearances from season 5's third-place finisher than we've had from the same season's final two. Combined.

See you tonight!

ho hum...

I am still waiting for the audition episodes to leave and the Hollywood episodes to begin. Other than a few laughs from Philly and getting creeped out by stalkers of one sort or another, this year's audition episodes pretty much rank right up there (or down there) with all of the other seasons.

There have been a few promising singers but, as we all know, even the most promising auditioners often cannot handle the stress of Hell Week.

Meanwhile, while we wait for the real show to start, Randy Jackson is producing a CD, due out in March, featuring Paula's first single in, well, decades, already available on iTunes. And the best part - y'all do remember I'm a huge Elliott fan, right - it's going to feature an Elliott Yamin/Kat McPhee duet that Randy says will "blow people away." I'm ready to be blown away.

So while we wait, feel free to comment, complain, criticize, compliment or otherwise just chat in the comment gallery. I just can't bring myself to even begin to start.

casting the finale: a SIMULBLOG!...

It's been a long four months, but the end is in sight as we kick off the last remaining kid before launching into that extravaganza we call the finale.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, where I'm writing as I'm watching the feed on the east coast, publishing at every break, so if you don't want to know what's happening before it happens in your living room, this is not the place to be for the next 60 minutes.

Just be sure to stop back by later to celebrate or complain with the rest of us.

Homer Simpson kicks off the show in an improvement over Ryan, who reminds us that Elliott Yamin and Maroon 5 are in the house. We get the traditional highlight reel of last night's performances in the first five minutes before taking the first of the commercial breaks.

It's almost tour time, and we get a pretty cool promo with the top ten kids all remembered. (I had forgotten about some of them...)

Ryan sits on the sofa with the kids and lets Jordin talk about her trip home. And, of course, we get to see the highlights, always a fun time watching the kids get special treatment. And just in case anyone's forgotten that Jordin is 17, she reminds them, reacting every inch the teenager revisiting her high school.

Ryan gives Jordin her reviews from the night before before telling her she'll find out how America voted...later. Gee. Didn't see that one coming.

It's time for the always-challenging Idol Challenge. Pick A!

Time for Ryan and Blake on the sofa. And we get to see his hometown celebration, complete with limos, planes, screaming girls, baseball and a special dad, who knows the words to his son's songs as well as his son does.

Blake is joined on the stage by dad, before he's thrown off by Ryan. Blake is reminded of what the judges had to say the night before before being told to go wait it out with Jordin.

It's time for Elliott and his homecoming to the Idol stage with Wait for You.

It's the Ford Commercial, where the kids really are kids before climbing into the car. Very cute.

It's Melinda's turn to go home to Nashville. She got her own very special state day - not a city day - a state day. She shoulda lowered taxes. And she got her own street. Tennessee does things nicely.

She gets her reviews from the night before, and is sent to the waiting room.

It's too bad the hometown highlights were abbreviated, but, as is this season's custom, we must make room for visiting artists. Elliott gets a pass, cause he's a returning veteran.

Maroon 5 performs, and Blake is obviously itching to rush the stage and sing along. And obviously Paula is drinking again. hee.

This is going to be one of those results that really comes out of nowhere, because there is no clear indication of who is leaving.

The kids are on the seal.

Jordin is told to step forward and is told that almost 60 million votes have sent her through to the finale. She cries and hugs the other two. Her parents holler as the crowd stands.

Melinda is told to step forward. And she's told she's going home.

It's Blake and Jordin.

Wow.

She gets to see her funeral video to the sound of Daughtry and chooses to sing out to I'm a Woman.

So long Melinda!