parades are a-waiting!: a SIMULBLOG...

It's been 24 hours since the Idols hit the Rock and Roll Hall. Or was that the wall?

In a nutshell, Archuleta crooned, Cook coasted, Syesha cried and Jason crashed. And burned. After shooting the sheriff.

Yes. That pretty much sums up the night.

It was, quite arguably, the worst final four episode in seven seasons.

And somebody's gonna pay the price tonight, because it's time to chop off the dread weight. Maybe.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means I'm typing as the action is happening live on the east coast, with a publishing break at every important stop, so if you don't wanna know, here's not the place you wanna be. If you want to be spoiled though, stick around, chat in the shoutbox and hit the refresh button occasionally to see what's going on.

Because the show's about to start!
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Ryan calls last night's show "dramatic." And he promises more drama. Plus Bo Bice.

Ryan begins grilling Randy on his Syesha-hate from the night before. The other judges get a moment to reflect on the performance episode before we get a group song.

The kids are "reeling in the years." And, as usual, the audio guy is asleep at the controls. But Judge Judy and Howie Mandel are in the crowd.
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We get the retrospective from last night. The kids are backstage looking at the monitor. Archuleta is called out first. He gets grilled by Ryan about nonsense as it's clear the kid just wants to know if he can go sit on the sofa of safety. He can. And he does.

And after a series of directorial missteps, we get sent to a commercial.
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The four kids got to visit Las Vegas, and we are treated to the highlights. Because they have only four kids and an hour to kill.

David Cook gets his command to appear onstage. He is reminded of his reviews from the night before. He says his head just wasn't in the right spot last night. But he's told to send his head to the sofa to join the other David.

Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro are called center stage. So it looks like this odd season (and I mean that in more ways than one) will not have the traditional final four shocker.
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The Idols are matadors fighting a Mustang in the crappy Ford commercial that is, at least, entertaining.

It's time for phone calls. Cook gets put on the spot by a woman wanting a date and Syesha gets bleeped when she gives more information than she was supposed to. And there were others, but I was too uninterested to listen. [The word they bleeped on Syesha was "commercial." Guess they don't want us knowing the kids are forced to pimp products.]

Now it's time for Maroon 5, because we only have four kids, two of them have been called safe, and we have 25 more minutes to kill.
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Bo Bice is back! I love Bo! But I'm not real fond of his new single. Maybe it needs time to grow on me. He tells the remaining kids to "practice, practice, practice."
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All the filler has pushed the show to seven minutes till the hour. Syesha and Castro are standing on the stage with Ryan.

Jason is reminded that he shot the sheriff, spared the deputy and got thoroughly panned for it. Ryan makes a funny about his flubbed lyrics. Jason makes a funny about shooting Mr. Tambourine Man.

Syesha gets her reviews from the night before. No funny remarks about about her tears.

Both of them get to discuss last night. Syesha gets deep and political.

Syesha is told she's getting a parade. Jason applauds and hugs her sweetly. He looks happier than she does.

We all get to remember Jason's journey to the sound of Ruben. And he sings the show out in the wildest, happiest sing out I have ever seen.

So long Jason. You were fun to watch.

Good luck.