Wednesday, February 20, 2008

12 guys, 10 spots: hey, you don't suck...

Well, some of them didn't suck on Tuesday night as the top 12 men kicked off the seventh season of America's favorite karaoke contest.

Because THIS is American Idol!

And it was 60s night with a limited catalog of song titles from which to choose (and considering some of the choices, I swear the editor of the catalog was smoking something slightly illegal.) Nonetheless, it was a potpourri of total suckiness and relative brilliance and everything in between.

Anyway, here are my impressions, a little late as they probably will be this season, but as always from worst to first:

Chikeze No-longer-Eze (More Today than Yesterday). Yikes. If there was ever a poster boy for Lounge Lizards, I think he's been found, orange suit and all. There was nothing - nothing - enjoyable about this performance, and any charm he may or may not have had that might have saved him he lost in his infantile banter with Simon.

Danny Noriega (Jailhouse Rock). Luckily for Danny, he shared the stage with the lizard, which boosts him out of worst place. There was nothing redeeming about this performance, from the first note to the post-performance interview. I commented earlier that this kid would soon get on my nerves. Soon came faster than even I thought.

Garrett Haley (Breaking Up is Hard to Do). This kid kinda scares me. I don't know if it's the hair, the voice or the personality, but I predicted he would be first out, and nothing about this out of tune performance makes me want to change my mind.

Luke Menard (Everybody's Talkin'). Luke is hawt. Now if he could only sing better. In his defense, it was a terrible choice of song. I hope he gets a second try, though, because he's hawt.

Jason Yeager (Moon River). The bestest thing about Jason is his adorable lookalike son. But I wish for him he had waited to dedicate this sleepy ballad until he had already made a first impression. It wasn't snooze-inducingly bad, but it wasn't American Idol-worthy. I hope, though, that he gets a second chance. Cause I love his kid.

David Hernandez (Wait Till the Midnight Hour). David #3 gets credit for putting his own twist on this song, just enough of a credit to equal out a bum note at the end. Starting the show, I was ready to call him gone, but in comparison to many of the others, I think he's got at least another week left.

Colton Berry (Suspicious Minds). Unlike Colton, I don't love this song, but he didn't murder it, and by the mid-part of this performance episode, not sucking is good.

Robbie Carrico (One). The former boy-bander has decided he's a rocker, complete with a Daughtry wallet chain. He turned in a perfectly-enjoyable performance, one that should easily secure him a second appearance.

David Cook (Happy Together). Okay, I'll admit a bit of bias right off the bat: I love this song. So, shoot me. And I really enjoyed David #2's rendition, enough to boost my faith that he'll be singing into March, where the hair stylists will be in heaven.

Jason Castro (What a Day for a Daydream). Jason is the only contestant to haul out an instrument, in this case a guitar, and delivers one of the better performances of the night. And he deserves to advance on hair alone.

David Archuleta (Shop Around). Seems that people either love or hate this kid, David #1. He's 17. I think he's adorable and finally we seem to have a teen boy (he's 17) who has actual talent. And he's 17. No joke.

Michael Jones (Light my Fire). The guy who I think is going to win this whole show gets to wrap up the night, which guarantees his advancement, but he could have delivered this in the lead-off position and still be guaranteed to move forward. Heck, why don't we already put him in the finale.

So who's going home? Any two of six could leave Thursday, and I wouldn't shed a tear, but I'm going with my first hunch of Garrett and joining him with the VFTW poster child, Danny Noriega.

The women will take the stage tonight. They can't be much worse.

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23 Comments:

Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

OMG! I'm the first to post! woohooo!!!

Jennifer, as always, your analysis is spot-on and entertaining. I give you two thumbs up AND a big toe! ;)

I *mostly* agree with your line-up. Here's how I'd place them (worst to first), but will spare the reasons why. I'm hungry and haven't had lunch so want to make this quick.

Chikeze
Danny Noriega
Garrett Haley
Jason Yeager
Colton DeGeneres
Luke Menard
David Hernandez
Robbie Carrico
Jason Castro
David Cook
David Archuleta tied with
Michael Jones

I didn't like the fact that they forced a theme on the guys, especially the 60s! They're really challenging these kids right out the gate. All I can say is, if the girls have to do 60's as well, please oh PLEASE let Amanda do "Bobbie McGee!" I can't hear her doing anything else. The End.

3:13 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't be much worse?? While I agree, as we've learned, anything is possible on this show!

Also, did Alania Alexander re-enter the competition, or did Alania Whitaker decide to change her name? Refering to the pictures on the side of the page -->

3:21 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger jennifer said...

LOL @ myself. I can't even believe I remembered Alaina Alexander well enough to get the name confused.

I need another drink...

3:25 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous Johanna said...

Will somebody PLEASE tell me who Luke Menard looks like? Some famous celebrity? It's driving me BANANAS!!!!

Anyway, pretty much agree with the lineup, except I would put Garret at the bottom. His song/performance was so boring I forgot to listen for a minute or so and then had to force myself to pay attention. :-)

Would others agree that David Cook is Daughtry-lite and Robbie Carusco is Bo-lite? I'm glad to have them in the competition, but neither seems to be able to live up to their respective counterparts.

Another note... is the show more gay-friendly (or at least more tolerant) this year? Besides the presence of Danny, I noticed a surpising lack of "you're more gay" jabs between Simon and Ryan. Maybe it's just too early in the season, but I'm hopeful!

3:26 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger MP said...

Luke looks like a good looking Luke Wilson OR/AND a little like Luke Perry...IMO

I want Danny to go..really bad and that really means he'll be around forever. I haven't checked but he has to be the #1 target for Vote for the Worst.

I do agree w/ Bo-Lite and Chris-Lite...

3:38 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger Kristi Mantoni said...

Luke kinda looks like Orlando Bloom too! YUMMY!!!! I know he pretty much sucked last night but I WANT him for at least one more week.

3:54 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Luke looks like the actor who played "Wolverine". Hawt is right! But his song was forgettable. Let's go ahead and put Jason in the finale. And please oh please, don't turn him into this season Sanjaya by playing with the hair!

Great analysis Woes and Prose Blogger! :)

3:57 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I second the comparison:
Luke Menard = Orlando Bloom

4:03 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger angelof_mercy81 said...

That's who Luke reminds me of: Orlando Bloom! I'm in total agreement that he is definitely eye candy. He has a nice voice, too, and I hope he gets a chance to prove that next week.

In the meantime, I'm hoping that Danny won't become the Sanjaya fo the show. I don't think I can handle that again. *sigh*

4:11 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger angelof_mercy81 said...

^Whoops, I meant "of" the show.

4:11 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous gavintiegirl said...

Luke Menard looks lik Jason Priestly from 90210.

Michael Johns looks like Hugh Jackman who plays Wolverine. That's is just my opinion.

4:12 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger Sunshine said...

*WARNING: Long Post!*
After some thought and re-watching of last night's show, I came to a decision that some of you may agree with and some may not! I'm posting this before I read everyone's comments just so I don't change my thoughts after reading someone else's opinions. Here's what I thought:

Michael Johns - Oh man, I absolutely love this guy! Anyone who can blow a Jim Morrison out of the water, has my vote 100%. Not to mention, I love Australian men, no matter how long they've been US citizens.

David Cook - Ok, I liked this guy at the beginning, but after singing one of my FAVORITE songs of all time, and singing it well, I have to put him in the group to go to the Top 12!

David Archuleta - I may not be into the song "Shop Around" BUT this kid was awesome. He's been so consistent since his audition, and he's absolutely adorable. He actually reminds me of a male-version of Jordin Sparks. Not only can he sing, but when he does, he's so very mature about it.

David Hernandez - He definitely got screwed with being first, but I think he did a fairly good job. He changed the style of the song, not to mention, AI pimped out his performance from Hollywood, which I have to say was amazing! I think he'll stick around and show America why he should be in the top 12. Who says there can't be 3 Davids?

Robbie Carrico- What can I say? I'm a sucker for rocker dudes. This guy kind of reminds me of Bo Bice, only with a more current edge. Three Dog Night is one of the greatest bands from that era, and Robbie gave the song justice. He deserves one of the 6 spots!

Jason Castro - Ok, so he was pretty good at Daydream, but I was very disappointed that he didn't whistle. I don't care how much he wanted to change it up, that song needs the whistling. I think he has beautiful eyes, a great voice, but I just can't deal with dreadlocks. It reminds me of having bugs in your hair. Doesn't mean I don't like his voice, Bob Marley was incredible and he had dreads. I just think he needs to cut his hair.

Jason Yager & Luke Menard - Ok, I'm putting these 2 guys together, cos they equally were just ok/safe/boring. Not to mention they are both adorable. (Did they HAVE to show Luke's wife? JEEZ!) But I do think they are both good enough to stick it out and try again for a better shot next week. After next week, if they don't step it up, then it could be the chopping block for either or both of them.

Danny Noriega - Ok, so I liked this kid until I read his bio and saw that his musical influence was Fantasia. COME ON NOW! I don't care if she won, she sucks! And most of the regulars know I hated her. Anyways, Danny looked like he was going to cry after Simon was finished with him. I don't think it was his fault. I thought Ricky Miner and his almighty band was playing Jailhouse Rock TOO fast, and I think Danny did a great job keeping up with it! So again, I think he has another shot of making America proud, but he's not one of my favorites anymore. (Damn Fantasia lover!)

Chikezie - I actually liked this guy until last night. I thought he was very cocky to the judges, and I didn't think his performance was all that great. He can go, I don't mind!

Colton Berry - Ok, as much as I LOVE Suspicious Minds, I thought this performance was forgettable. He just didn't look right on stage. I think Simon said something along the lines of that this show is to give someone a record deal, and this kid just wasn't that person. I have to agree. He's just not right.
See ya!

Garrett Haley - OMG, worst performance of the night! Poor kid looked like he rolled out of bed and just decided to sing a boring song on stage. Now, I don't think it was the song at all that made me dislike it. If anyone remembers, Ruben sang this exact song, the EXACT same way, and blew everyone away! Garrett has had NO camera time, so doing something like this cannot win anyone over. This kid is definitely gone on Thursday!

Ok, I've rambled enough! Let's see how the girls do next. I'm sure the 60s theme will fit most of them well. I'll be sure to give my opinions of them too!

~Sunshine

4:30 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Luke reminds me a bit of Patrick Dempsey.

4:33 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger jennifer said...

That's IT! Patrick Dempsey.

4:38 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger Dave said...

My problem with David Archuleta is two-fold:

1) Being ordained by Fox/19E as one of this season's TCO's (The Chosen One) automatically makes me want to dislike him. I think the long and glorious practise of handing people votes through excessive face time during the auditions and Hollywood makes this an unfair "competition".

2) When he's not singing, he comes off as an absolute moron. Is it the nerves? Is it that he's just 17? Is it because he's young and not savy to the ways of the media? Or is it because he's really as dumb as a box of rocks?

This show has a history of chewing up and spitting out teenagers and if not for the unearthly stage composure of Diana DeGarmo and Jordin Sparks, it would be pitching a shutout against the kids under 20. However, even some of the ones who didn't crack under pressure still managed to be able to put together a coherent interview (ie-John Stevens), but David A. apparently becomes a complete mush-mouth when the interview microphone is on him.

4:58 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger jennifer said...

And Dave, don't forget Fantasia, who was 19.

Yeah, David #1 (although you, Dave, are our #1!!) has pretty much tripped over his tongue so far. Actually, I kinda find that more endearing than the poise of someone who is being coached and groomed. But that's just me.

5:33 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger Dave said...

I could live with the down-home "aw, shucks" type, but he's an absolutely interview moron.

5:57 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger Dave said...

And Jennifer, I'd rather be your #1 than your #2.


:D ;)

5:58 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger Kristi Mantoni said...

I'm with you Dave. I seem to automatically dislike (HATE) TCO's. I always think I'm going to be open minded about them but I never am.

7:11 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

Luke Menard is a cross between Patrick Dempsey, Matthew Fox, Hugh Jackman with a splash of youthful Orlando Bloom. Now if he could only sing like Josh Groban he'd be the perfect guy.

Michael Johns looks like a young Guy Pearce, but with a rounder face. (You know...the guy from "Memento" and "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" fame...) http://www.biggeststars.com/g/guy-pearce-home.html
AND
http://www.wireimage.com/Celebrities/Guy-Pearce
(look at pictures from middle of the page down, especially)

And yes, I totally agree with Johanna. While watching the show, I said to my husband, "He (David Cook) reminds me of Chris Daughtry when he first started out." And, "he (Robbie Carrico) reminds me of Bo Bice." Yup, yup...totally!

Can't wait for the girls to sing! yahhhh!!!

7:36 PM, February 20, 2008  
Anonymous Rachie said...

Although I honestly wasn't really impressed with anybody, my picks for the best are:

David Archuleta - I think he'll fly easily through to the top of this competition. He seems to have it all - good voice, consistant, likable personality, humble, young & cute. What more could you ask for?

Michael Johns - Great voice and performer. He really made the song his own. Not to mention he has a sexy accent.

Jason Castro - He really stood out playing his instrument. He's very unique and I can't wait to see more of him.

That's it. And they weren't even spectacular which they need to be!!

The worst were Chikize, Jason Yeager, Luke Menard and David Hernandez. All extremely boring and forgettable. One of them will definitely go home this week.

My vote for most annoying is Danny (OMG!!!) but he actually has a really good voice so I hope that if he sticks around (which I know he will *cough-sanjaya-cough*), he will work on his performance and just stop being so overly dramatic.

David Cook and Robbie (I still think he seems like a bit of a poser) both did okay but not fantastic or memorable. Colton didn't do his best but I think he'll make it through because he's super cute and the chicks dig that. He actually has a good voice if he just wouldn't cheese up the songs so bad. And surprisingly, although his song pick was boring and his talking voice is a bit on the squeaky side, I liked Garret Haley. He actually has a promising singing voice and seems like a genuinely nice person if he could just get over the nerves.

And just a note, I must admit that I horribly miss Josiah. :( This competition really needs originality and talent like his. That last episode of him crying all of the time made him look like a complete git but he actually has an adorable personality and is really, REALLY talented. Check out his myspace page... seriously... do it.

10:36 PM, February 20, 2008  
Blogger Nelle said...

I REALLY like Michael Johns of the guys. The ladies I really like: Brooke's personality, Carly's voice (but she didn't bring it last night)and I like both with Syesha. I like Amanda but hoping she can do more than Janis songs. This is a good group overall and I am enjoying it.

8:58 AM, February 21, 2008  
Anonymous Johanna said...

Thanks, everyone! I definitely agree that he looks like Orlando Bloom... and now my mind can rest at ease! :-)

10:18 AM, February 21, 2008  

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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!