it's finale time: a SIMULBLOG!...

The sixth season is over. Or it will be in about two hours. And the end is welcomed, but not before we are treated to whatever is in store before we crown Jordin or Blake and certainly not until we've critiqued and criticized every single syllable.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a simulblog, which means I'm typing as the action is unfolding with publishes at every significant break, so if you're not in the eastern time zone and you want to be surprised, this is not the place to be. But come back and rehash all of the happenings later. It looks as though the shoutbox [again] is down for maintenance on a results night, so please feel free to chat in the comment thread.

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Ryan asks if we'll crown the beatboxer from Seattle or the sweetheart from Arizona as the sixth season finale, the "night we've all been waiting for" gets underway.

She was just 17, and you know what I mean... It only takes three minutes to be reminded that she's just 17 in the opening duet. The show finally got the Beatles catalog cleared. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

And it only takes five minutes to cut to a remote performance by Gwen Stefani, because she has a new single out. Of course she's in an undisclosed location, so none of the idols is accompanying her, but this season hasn't been about them anyway, so why should the finale be any different?

I already am not liking this.

Coke thanks me for drinking. No problem Coke. I've been drinking all season.

Kelly Clarkson is home!! I love Kelly. Her new single not so much. But it's good to see her.

It's Golden Idol time.

Catagory: Best Presentation. Nominees: three auditioners, all of whom I have chosen to forget. But I do remember Margaret, the lady in yellow. Now I want to forget her again.

I am not liking this.

The guys take the stage, obviously setting up Smokey Robinson. And he takes the stage with the guys as backup for a Miracles Medley. I am liking this part.

After a commercial or 17, Blake gets to take the stage with Doug E Fresh for an all-out beatboxing competition. In the first 30 seconds Blake has more fun than he had in all of last night.

Golden Idol. Category: Most Original Vocals. Three auditioners. Don't remember. Don't care.

The girls take the stage, setting a place for Gladys Knight. I hope these girls are taking notes.

David Hasselhoff is [again] in the audience. Tissue alert.

Ryan stands in the audience to introduce Tony Bennett, who didn't get to perform earlier this season because he was sick. But I have to ask: Does Constantine Maroulis show up at every Idol taping? Just asking.

Golden Idol. Category: Best Buddies. Jonathan & Kenneth!!

Melinda, who used to sing backup for the Winans, looks splendid standing in the middle of BeBe and CeCe.

After the Ford commercial, the kids get their Fords. Can Jordin drive? She's only 17.

Carrie Underwood returns to reprise her I'll Stand By You from the Idol Gives Back special, but all I want to know is what the hell is she wearing?

Clive Davis appears and speaks. Blah... blah... blah...

After the commercial break, to recapture the Idol Gives Back experience, we get a return visit from the best part: the African Children's Choir. This time, though, they don't have to share the stage with Josh Groban.

It's SANJAYA!!

Then it's Green Day. Boy, do they have a tough act to follow.

After a commercial or 312, Taylor Hicks comes out of the oval to sing his new song Heaven Knows. I like the song, and I like Taylor, and I like seeing the old folk. But, considering the finale has historically been about the kids in the cast, and we've seen about 15 minutes of them in the past 90 minutes, this is quite probably the worst finale ever.

And with that Jordin appears, paired with Ruben Studdard. These two could make a hit single. Seriously.

After a commerical or five, Ryan introduces Bette Midler, who sings Wind Beneath My Wings, terribly I might add, and for no apparent reason. Yep. That does it. Worst. Finale. Ever.

Coke thanks me for drinking again. How do they know?

It's time for a tribute to Sgt. Pepper, kicking off with Kelly Clarkson, followed by Taylor Hicks, who introduces Carrie Underwood, who is joined by the women, before calling Ruben Studdard, who is backed by the guys. The kids are then given the stage. Very nice. Very very nice.

After a gazillion votes cast, after Randy says Jordin will win, after Simon says Jordin will win and after Paula babbles on, Ryan gets the sealed envelope and hands the Idol crown to Jordin, who sings her crappy winners song, but this time starts crying with the first note, rather than just at the end. Her mom cries too. Her comrades sit on the stairs at her feet until her last note when they surround her.

And that's that for another season.

Congratulations Jordin.