10 guys, 8 spots: just be better...

Sixties night didn't do a whole lot for most of the guys last week, so this week the producers decide to fix that. By giving them songs from the 70s from which to choose. YAY!

This week was worse.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And the pack of dudes is clearly aligning into the pimped and the non-pimped, the good and the really ugly. And guys that had impressed didn't. And those who didn't did.

I think I just confused myself.

Alas. Anyway, here are my impressions, a day late but not a dollar short and, as usual, from worst to first, complete with [gap]s to separate their ratings.

Jason Yeager (Long Train Runnin'). Jason introduces us to all of the instruments he has mastered over the years, despite the fact that he's not drug any of them on stage yet. Somehow, after this performance of the Doobies, I doubt that he'll have any chance to drag any of those instruments anywhere but home, even getting the rare Paula pan. There was nothing I enjoyed about this performance, from first note to post-performance interview.

[big gap]

Jason Castro (I Just Want to be Your Everything). I have no objection to a Bee Gees song, even one recorded by the little bro. Ever. (Unless it's Grease, but that's a whole n'other story.) Jason even hauls out his guitar and takes on most of the instrumentation himself. Randy reminds him it's a singing competition and calls his performance karaoke. Actually, I've heard better in a karaoke bar. I adore Jason, but this vocal was so thin and week. Paula suggests he drop the guitar. For once, I agree with Paula.

Danny Noriega (Superstar). After last week's Jailhouse disaster, Danny decides to dip into the ballad bowl and rescues a bit of his pride. Wisely, Danny goes with the Carpenters version of this 70s hit and avoids the inevitable comparison with season two's Ruben. Randy is exactly right, though, when he tells the VFTW poster child that, while the vocal was miles better than his previous outing, it lacked any soul. And, in his post-performance interview, he shows, at least for now, that he's not the complete little hissy-fit-throwing diva he came off as last week.

Robbie Carrico (Hot Blooded). Robbie explains his drag racing addition in his pre-performance clip (and it dawns on me that I already know more about these kids than I learned of all of last year's, but whatever.) He's determined to "prove" he's a rocker, despite Simon's doubts about his true rocker persona. After this performance, even I am questioning Robbie's true musical style.

[gap]

Luke Menard (Killer Queen). Luke, who is hawt, decides to do Freddie Mercury during the semi-finals? He gets points for guts. And despite a panning from Simon, who calls the performance theatrical and whiny (because, perhaps, he's not among the anointed group?) I think it's the best we've heard from him. And, as the third performer of the night, his was the first bright spot.

[gap]

Michael Johns (Go Your Own Way). Michael, who took my performance of the night awards, albeit in a near tie with one of the Davids, said just performing Fleetwood Mac was his dream come true. Perhaps. But that doesn't explain why he decided to phone it in. I did not like any bit of this performance, perhaps because I expect more from him, but it seemed as though he got caught just behind the band and was never able to catch up. He's better than that, and I won't accept mediocrity from someone capable of better.

Chikeze No-longer-Eze (I Believe to my Soul). The orange suit is replaced by a polo and the cheesy lounge-lizard act gives way to a soulful rendition of this Donnie Hathaway classic. He may have just saved himself, at least for one more week. (And yes, Chikeze, we know that's Kenya Hathaway singing backup.)

[gap]

David Hernandez (Papa was a Rolling Stone). Wow. I was not expecting this. David #3 actually impressed me, from all perspectives, and, provided he survives this week and turns in a comparable performance next week, may just make it to the big stage.

David Cook (All Right Now). We learn that David #2 is a "word nerd," who likes crossword puzzles and, one would assume, a cutthroat game of Scrabble. And then we are convinced that he's really the only true "rocker" in the group of guys, slaying this delicious Free classic. (And I thought that even before Randy said it.) And it's David #2 that brings out a testy retort from Simon, that was both ridiculous and unnecessary.

David Archuleta (Imagine). David #1 gets the "pimp spot" and closes the show with a perfectly on-pitch, unique and lovely rendition of John Lennon's signature tune. He clearly wins the night, and obviously has won the hearts of screaming women who are getting on my last nerve. I don't know that I would go as far as Randy in calling it one of the best vocals in the history of the show, but top 25 perhaps. Simon tells him he's the one to beat and, honestly, based on the total performances so far this season, I can't disagree. But it's very early.

So, who's going to leave? If Jason Yeager hangs in there, it will be a crime. I don't think he will survive, and, since I have to predict, I wouldn't be surprised to see him exit stage right with Robbie Carrico.

Tonight the women throw on the polyester and Hustle to the tunes of the same decade. Cool.

12 guys, 10 spots: hey, you don't suck...

Well, some of them didn't suck on Tuesday night as the top 12 men kicked off the seventh season of America's favorite karaoke contest.

Because THIS is American Idol!

And it was 60s night with a limited catalog of song titles from which to choose (and considering some of the choices, I swear the editor of the catalog was smoking something slightly illegal.) Nonetheless, it was a potpourri of total suckiness and relative brilliance and everything in between.

Anyway, here are my impressions, a little late as they probably will be this season, but as always from worst to first:

Chikeze No-longer-Eze (More Today than Yesterday). Yikes. If there was ever a poster boy for Lounge Lizards, I think he's been found, orange suit and all. There was nothing - nothing - enjoyable about this performance, and any charm he may or may not have had that might have saved him he lost in his infantile banter with Simon.

Danny Noriega (Jailhouse Rock). Luckily for Danny, he shared the stage with the lizard, which boosts him out of worst place. There was nothing redeeming about this performance, from the first note to the post-performance interview. I commented earlier that this kid would soon get on my nerves. Soon came faster than even I thought.

Garrett Haley (Breaking Up is Hard to Do). This kid kinda scares me. I don't know if it's the hair, the voice or the personality, but I predicted he would be first out, and nothing about this out of tune performance makes me want to change my mind.

Luke Menard (Everybody's Talkin'). Luke is hawt. Now if he could only sing better. In his defense, it was a terrible choice of song. I hope he gets a second try, though, because he's hawt.

Jason Yeager (Moon River). The bestest thing about Jason is his adorable lookalike son. But I wish for him he had waited to dedicate this sleepy ballad until he had already made a first impression. It wasn't snooze-inducingly bad, but it wasn't American Idol-worthy. I hope, though, that he gets a second chance. Cause I love his kid.

David Hernandez (Wait Till the Midnight Hour). David #3 gets credit for putting his own twist on this song, just enough of a credit to equal out a bum note at the end. Starting the show, I was ready to call him gone, but in comparison to many of the others, I think he's got at least another week left.

Colton Berry (Suspicious Minds). Unlike Colton, I don't love this song, but he didn't murder it, and by the mid-part of this performance episode, not sucking is good.

Robbie Carrico (One). The former boy-bander has decided he's a rocker, complete with a Daughtry wallet chain. He turned in a perfectly-enjoyable performance, one that should easily secure him a second appearance.

David Cook (Happy Together). Okay, I'll admit a bit of bias right off the bat: I love this song. So, shoot me. And I really enjoyed David #2's rendition, enough to boost my faith that he'll be singing into March, where the hair stylists will be in heaven.

Jason Castro (What a Day for a Daydream). Jason is the only contestant to haul out an instrument, in this case a guitar, and delivers one of the better performances of the night. And he deserves to advance on hair alone.

David Archuleta (Shop Around). Seems that people either love or hate this kid, David #1. He's 17. I think he's adorable and finally we seem to have a teen boy (he's 17) who has actual talent. And he's 17. No joke.

Michael Jones (Light my Fire). The guy who I think is going to win this whole show gets to wrap up the night, which guarantees his advancement, but he could have delivered this in the lead-off position and still be guaranteed to move forward. Heck, why don't we already put him in the finale.

So who's going home? Any two of six could leave Thursday, and I wouldn't shed a tear, but I'm going with my first hunch of Garrett and joining him with the VFTW poster child, Danny Noriega.

The women will take the stage tonight. They can't be much worse.