seven is better: a SIMULBLOG!...

What was a group of eight yesterday becomes a team of seven tonight, as we cast aside yet another hopeful, leaving him alone and lonely along the side of the stage without a lyric to sing until the finale.

Thank God, another is getting whacked. As long as it's the right one.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a Simulblog, where I'm typing as fast as I can to describe the action as it's unfolding (and taking too damn long) on the East Coast, so if you want to watch in "real" time, find somewhere else to hang out for the next hour.

Because the show is about to start!
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Ryan starts the show chatting with the judges, most of whom express overall disappointment over last night's episode. And, of course, we get a little more "year you were born" humor, which culminates with a super special surprise guest that makes me stop, smile and applaud. I ain't giving that one away.

The group song celebrates 2002, the year American Idol was born. This is just not good. Maybe it's the song. Maybe it's the combination. Maybe it's mute button time.
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We're taken behind the scenes of the making of the Ford "video". The kids are magicians. There is a car. You get it.

We're back live and Ryan is quizzing Adam about last night's Simon standing O. No mention of the O not being recorded by DVRs all over the country. An "our bad" would have been nice.

Hey look! It's the mayor of Kalamazoo, Michigan!! He's there to see Matt.

Time to do it.

Adam and Kris are told to stand. Anoop is told to join them. The judges are given a chance to critique Adam, and he's told to sit down.

The two that are not Adam are reminded of their comments last night and Anoop is sent to the bad stools.
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Flo-Rida is this week's non-Idol affiliated, no-reason-to-be-here-except-to-hawk-CD guest. At least I am enjoying his performance. That's a first. Man, they're even throwing out the streamers and confetti.
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We're back. Danny is told to stand. He's safe.

Matt is next. Ryan tries to fool him before telling him to sit down.

Scott's turn. He's sent to join Anoop on the naughty stools.

Allison is told to stand. Lil is told to join her. They are reminded of their reviews. Allison is safe, and Lil is given her first ticket to the dark side.

Simon says there are two - one in particular - of the three that would be considered for a save. I don't believe it for a minute.

Pickler is next.
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Pickler takes the stage, flirts with Simon and warbles through a song that I really don't like.

The trio in trouble is brought center stage. Time to send somebody to safety. Lil is given another chance, leaving Anoop and Scott to wait through a commercial.
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The lights are dimmed. Thirty-four million votes were called in. Scott gets the axe. He looks both sad and stunned. I feel sad for him. He reprises last night's song without the weight of the guitar. I hope it's better.

The drama is spread out far beyond what it's worth. Simon puts us out of our misery and sends Scott home. He gets hugs from his colleagues as we watch his journey.

Good luck Scott. You did good.

See you next week!

9 becomes 8: a SIMULBLOG...

We're going to lose some more of the dead weight on April Fool's Day. (Let's hope they don't pull a "never mind, nobody leaves" act and hope that they pull a "check it out, half of you are dead" routine.)

David Cook and Lady Gaga are supposed to be the guests on a week that saw no mentors, no real theme, no Idol moments but plenty of filler. We're in for more filler tonight because despite trimming the performance show to one hour, 25 minutes (huh?), we're still being subjected to the painfully long 60 minute results.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing as fast as the law allows while the action is happening live in the east, so if you don't wanna know, now's the time to take a nap or catch up with the absolutely terrific Idoltry videos. But stop back by once you know who has bitten the dust to share your thoughts with the rest of us.

Because the show is about to start...

Over 36 million votes were phoned in last night, so Ryan concludes that this is the most popular group in the show's history.

Randy is still criticizing song selection. Kara invites the audience to boo her, like we need the extra incentive to hate her. Paula assures the other eight kids that she thinks they have the potential to be like Adam. Simon says half of the group could be in trouble. Megan waves at the crowd.

We get a very strange Ford video right off the bat. And then the kids, with Scott at the keyboard, launch into Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. This group has absolutely no dance ability. They have the pointy pose thing down pat, but the best they can manage in the way of foot movement is walking around in circles.
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The kids are on the sofa and Ryan is at his post. We get a glimpse into a day in the life of an American Idol contestant. They are busy taking pictures, rehearsing, eating quadruple chocolate cake and making sexy faces.

The lights are dimmed.

Megan is told to stand. And so is Matt. Kris too. They are told to stand on the far side of the stage.

Adam stands, followed by Lil and Allison. They are sent to the center stage.

The other three, Scott, Danny and Anoop are sent to the near side of the stage.

Ryan asks if one of these groups could be the bottom three. Boy he is using the word could a lot on April Fool's Day.
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David Cook is back (complete with his mom) singing his new single Come Back to Me. Excuse me while I remember how much I loved last season. :::sniff:::

He sounds terrific and gets presented with his Platinum record plaque. Platinum in three months. YAY!!
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The groups are standing on the stage, and Ryan has his cards.

He starts with Kris. He's reminded of his reviews from last night. And he's sent to the safety of the sofa.

Time for Matt. He says he has no regrets about his performance last night. He's sent to join Kris.

Megan is left. I think we all know how this is gonna go. She is sent to the bad stool.

Time for Team Adam with Lil and Allison.

Lil is sent to the safe place. Allison is told to join Megan on the bad stools. At this rate, Allison is going to be the new Kim Locke/Syesha Mercado.

Adam is told he's safe, of course, considering he's Adam and the only one left of the three.

Danny's turn. He's safe.

Scott and Anoop are reminded of their reviews. Anoop says Scott should be safe. Very gracious. And he's right. Anoop joins the girls on the bad stools.

We're teased with a Lady Gaga introduction as they cut to yet another hour of commercials.
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And sing she does. I'm not sure there are words to describe this. So I won't try.

Ryan asks Simon if any of the bottom three should be saved. "Just one," he replies. Bet that ain't Megan or Anoop.
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Ryan's going to send somebody to sit with the good kids. It's Allison. YAY! She hugs the others as Anoop and Megan lock arms.

Megan is told she's toast. Simon tells her she doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting saved, and she should enjoy her "swan song." So she does, pulling out every quirky and dorky dance move in her handbag.

See ya Megan.

See you next week.

10 becomes 9: a SIMULBLOG!...

Whoopsie. Almost forgot the 8 p.m. start of the Motown results show. So I'll cut the introductory nonsense and get right to the point.

This is a SIMULBLOG, which means the action is being described as it's happening in the east, so if you want to be surprised where you are, it's time to make a hasty retreat. But come back!

The kids start the show with an inventive and entertaining Motown medley. Lord knows there are enough Motown songs to make a great medley.
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Back from commercial, we're treated to another one for Ford that they insist on calling a video. The kids applaud their efforts.

Ruuuuuuben is back. He hasn't changed a bit. And he's singing his new single. Glad to know he's recording. Nice song. Very Ruben-esque.

Time for some results, after we hear all about the kids' private jetted trip to Detroit.

Adam is told to stand. Girls scream. He gets his reviews from last night and is told to sit back down. Girls scream.

Matt is next. Girls don't scream quite so loudly. And SHOCK! Matt is in the bottom three. People boo. Loudly.

Time for Kris. He's safe after another Ryan fake-out.

Lil and Michael get to stand in tandem. Michael is sent to join Matt on the bad stools.
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Smokey Robinson and Joss Stone perform. And we're reminded that there are three bad stools and so far only two bad people. (Well one bad person and Matt.)
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Time for more results.

Allison stands. She's safe this week.

Anoop is summoned. He's safe too.

Danny's turn. No stool for him.

Scott and Megan stand together. They are reminded how crappy the judges thought they were. Scott is sent to join the stool sitters.

Randy says Matt doesn't belong in the group. Duh. Ryan sends Scott back to the safety of the sofa. _____

Simon mumbles some circular nonsense about the "judges save," before Stevie Wonder takes center stage, bringing people to their feet with a thoroughly-enjoyable medley.
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An hour and a half worth of commercials later, we're finally time to execute somebody. Ryan reminds us that over 36 million people voted and most of them didn't vote for Michael Sarver, who then gets to "sing for his life". Yeah, right. Like there's a snowball's chance they'll save him.

Well Michael at least you have a summer job.

Michael's singout is, well, really bad. You'd think they would let the kids sing any of the songs they've performed up to this point. The judges tease him, letting him think they're still deliberating, before Simon calls a halt to the pretense and tells him he's going home.

We get to see Michael's cute kids in his funeral video.

See ya Michael. Good luck to you.

See you next week.

no tour for you: a SIMULBLOG!...

The list of finalists is about to pared to 10 - the magic number for a nice, cushy summer job on the American Idol tour. Randy Travis will be back, paired with Carrie Underwood for an anticipated duet while we wait (and wait and wait and wait since it's another dang 15-minute show crammed into one hour) to learn which unfortunate kid will have his or her dreams of seeing the country and being a star crushed like dead leaves on the sidewalk.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing the events as they're unfolding on the East Coast, so if you want to remain a results virgin, time to catch up on today's news over at CNN, because there will be spoilers.

And the show's about to start!
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Ryan says the results may SHOCK us. But then the announcer also said that Carrie Underwood's return to the Idol stage will be an "epic" night. I don't know who to believe.

Over 31 million votes were phoned in last night. Ryan reminds us of the "judges save" rule. C'mon Ryan. If they save the dead one tonight that totally screws up the tour group because it forces a double elimination next week. The only guys they would waste that on at this stage would be Adam or Danny, and I doubt either of them are in line for a shocking exit yet.

We get treated to a retrospective of last night's performances. And then it's time for the group sing! Scott is at the piano as the others flock the stage with Trouble. And I actually kinda enjoyed it.
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Cute Ford video. Dirty Ford. Water Balloons. You get the picture.

And we get more filler with a behind-the-scene, after-the-show idea of the tears and anguish following execution night.

Ryan tells Danny to stand. He gets to go on tour.

Lil is next. She's safe.

Time for Anoop. He's safe too.

Allison and Michael are told to stand. Ryan is setting us up to be surprised, which means it's Allison. And it is. She is sent to the bad stool. But then Ryan sends Michael to join Allison on the bad stools.
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Brad Paisley is here. He's going to sing. I thought they learned their lesson about random artists hawking CDs without any other connection to this show in season six. They probably forgot about that around the same time they forgot their vow to reduce results shows to half an hour.
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Scott is told to stand. He's reminded of last night's reviews. He's told not to make any plans for the summer because he's going to be busy.

Megan is next. She is also safe.

Matt's turn. He's on the tour.

Kris is told he's safe.

Alexis and Adam are told to stand. They are reminded what the judges had to say. Alexis is sent to join the bad people on the bad stools.

Ryan sends Allison back to the safety of the sofa and the luxury of the tour.
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It's time for Carrie Underwood's "epic" return to the Idol stage. (Doesn't she return pretty much every year?) And she's teaming with this week's mentor Randy Travis. She has a short, totally-adorable new hairdo. They perform I Told You So for the first time live. And I actually might buy that.

Ryan gushes about Carrie's fab career as he joins the dejected stool sitters. I can't help but wonder when he's going to whip out a knife to stick in their backs just to add to their agony.

Ryan asks the judges about the "save." Simon says the judges might consider saving one of the bottom two-ers.
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Ryan delivers the news. Michael is safe. Alexis is out. Or is she?

Simon tells us what we already knew. And he tells Alexis her future is riding on her singout. No pressure.

Alexis looks dejected and resigned. Simon tells her she wasn't good enough. Paula gives her the rah rah speech.

No Alexis on tour. Oh well.

See ya Alexis.

Next week we're on a Wednesday/Thursday schedule because the president trumps even American Idol.

See you then.