suspicious minds falling in love while dreaming in a jailhouse in the ghetto...

Thank you. Thank you very much. That title was hard to write.

Elvis is hanging out with the four remaining Idols and nary a fried banana sandwich is in sight. But I did catch a glimpse of Nikko Smith and Justin Guarini. Doesn't Guarini have a job?

Never mind. It's the show that could be called Three Men and a Katharine.

Four kids, eight songs, one king. And when it's all sang and done, three will remain to get to go home for lavish homecomings and in two weeks, as Ryan reminds us, two normal people will suddenly become abnormal people, singing for their suppers in front of gazillions of people.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And THIS is how, on early impressions, I've ranked them, subject, as usual, to review and reorder and, as always, from worst to first:

Katharine McPhee (Hound Dog/All Shook Up). The girl is all over the place! Yowzer. She's on the catwalk, she's lounging on the judges table, she's on the stage, and midway through goes silent with her back to the audience. I think she's out of breath, but she admits to Randy that she just flat forgot the lyrics. (The sound you just heard was Melissa McGhee laughing her panties off.) Randy is non-committal. Paula likes that she had fun. Simon compares the performance to a manic high school audition and tells her she's lucky she has a second song.

Katharine McPhee (Can't Help Falling in Love). Mottola tells Katharine to emote, but not to be loud. He hasn't been watching the show, evidentially. She starts the song at yell volume and finishes the song the same. She shows no nuance to the lyrics. Randy says at least it was better than her first outing. Paula thinks she's pretty. Simon basically says yuck. Me too.

Chris Daughtry (A Little Less Conversation). Okay, in the sense of full disclosure, this is one of my absolutely least favorite Elvis songs, and I don't like it any better from Chris, so I'll let the judges talk, but I won't rank it high. Randy says hawt for about the fourth time. Paula says he showed personality and Simon calls it "flat" and less preferable to his first performance.

Taylor Hicks (Jailhouse Rock). Taylor says he's gonna finally have some fun with an Elvis theme. Starting in the audience, he jailhouse rocks his way to the stage in the typical Taylor fashion. And, as expected, Simon hates it in his typical fashion, calling it a cheap imitation. I hate even remoting agreeing with Simon, and as much as I loved the performance, it really wasn't much in the way of anything vocally new. But that don't mean it wasn't fun.

Chris Daughtry (Suspicious Minds). We find out that Chris wears boxer briefs. Oh good, cause I was wondering. Tommy Mottola calls his vocal sound "incredible." He dons sunglasses for the first half of the song so we don't get to see the "Chris stare," but removes them halfway through so we don't go through withdrawals. Paula says she'll see him in the finals. Hasn't she said that to pretty much everyone over five years? Never mind. Randy says meh and Simon says it "worked." I thought I knew what I thought, but then my mind became suspicious.

Taylor Hicks (In The Ghetto). Again, being forced to cram a beautiful song into a 90-second frame sometimes makes them speed up the arrangement. I enjoyed every single second of the performance, but, if he were to record this number, I would hope it could be slowed. And that's my only criticism, except to say that the sitting on the steps thing is getting on my last nerve. Randy says perfect song, perfect key. Paula is Paula. And Simon tells him he's just sung his own ticket into the next round. (Hey! Nice Simon remarks for Taylor!)

Elliott Yamin (If I Can Dream). I was concerned about this song that I adore, because it's one of those famous start-soft finish-big Elvis songs that make Elvis Elvis. And unfortunately with only 90 seconds, it's tough to build the momentum needed to really sell it, but I will say this: I would knock down elderly people and step on children to buy Elliott's recording of it. Randy loves it. Paula, though not crying this time, says it's his personal best. Simon reminds Elliott he's the underdog, as if he hasn't figured that out yet, but says it's the best of the night, even though it's just the third song. (Hey! Nice Simon remarks for Elliott!)

Elliott Yamin (Trouble). Holy crap. Randy says personal best. Paula says personal best. Simon applauds his fighting spirit and tells him he deserves to continue to next week.

Yes, yes, I know I'm an on-the-record Elliott fan, and my objectivity may be a little out of focus, but with the possible exception of Taylor's second song, he far outperformed each of them. Now I have phones to attend.

My bottom two stays the same (that is if they're drawing out the two): Chris and Katharine with Katharine singing us out. Anything else is a travesty.

So, what's your verdict?