Wednesday, March 12, 2008

12 becomes 11: a SIMULBLOG!...

Because THIS is American Idol.

And people die. Kinda sorta. Just like they sing. Kinda sorta.

And since the Beatles were already victims of at least half of the 12 finalists last night, it's only fair that one of the kids gets to be sacrificed in penance for the slaughter.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means I'm watching the show live on the east coast, and I'm typing as fast as I can as the action unfolds with a publish at every important stop. So if you want to know before the show airs where you are, this is the place to be. If you hate to be spoiled, this is the time to click the X at the top of the screen.

Because the show's about to start!

_______

Who knew that Horton (you know, the guy that heard the Who) and his Who friends were fans of American Idol? Dr. Seuss is crying in heaven now.

Ryan tells us that over 29 million votes were phoned in; 28 million for one contestant, no doubt.

Horton is now in the audience pitching his movie. So this is why we're being subjected to an hour.

Oh God. Next week's theme is - hold on - more Lennon and McCartney. After all, the 12 kids only used 12 songs out of the expensive catalog list of 25. I think I'll start drinking on Monday.

Group Sing!! And it seems to be starring Michael Johns who shows up in various pairs and trios, and Jim Carrey as Horton in the audience who shows up on camera approximately every 25 seconds. It's pretty much as crappy as we come to expect, but only partially because of the kids. Maybe the show should have scaled back on the lights and put a bit more money into the audio system, because harmonies are not supposed to overpower melodies.

At least I don't think.

_______


As we return from commerical Ryan feels the need to introduce the high/lowlights from last night, starting with Chikezie's star turn and proof that Ryan was sipping from Paula's cup, as I suspected.

The kids are on the sofa.

Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha are told to stand.

Carly Smithson is reminded of her critiques and is safe.

Michael Johns is safe.

Jason Castro is told to have a seat.

Syesha Mercado is reminded of the judges' remarks and is told she's in the bottom three. She joins Ryan on the stage - where the seal used to be, but is no longer there because we have a new fancy stage without a seal.

She's asked to sing one more time. So this is why we're being subjected to an hour of results.

_______


Crappy Ford Commercial time!! The kids are all dressed-up political-like and "going the distance."

Ryan tells us the show has touched all the kids, and that's why none of them wants to leave. Uh huh. Okay Ryan. So that's the reason. We then get to watch the kids at the - wait for it! - Horton Hears a Who premiere. And I thought the product placement for Coke was over the top.

But at least we know that this is why we're having to watch for an hour.

We're back to the sofa.

Chikezie, Amanda, David #2 and Kristy are told to stand.

Chikezie is told he's safe after Ryan gets one more sweaty brow wipe. Eww.

Amanda Overmyer is safe.

David Cook is looking dapper in his hat and is safe.

Kristy is the one left standing, and she asks for her microphone because she must have watched the tape of her performance.

She's brought to the stage and shrugs at the judges/audience and apologizes that they'll (and us) have to hear her song again. Hell, if I had known that all three bottom-feeders were gonna sing, I would voted for her.

Time for me to take a break. Somewhere away from the television. But SANJAYA is there, applauding his fellow contestant.

_______

The commericals finally end and the kids are on the sofa, all lined up and ready to take some phone calls. So this is why we're extending the show to an hour.

Honestly I don't want to hear people asking for advice on how to pass the auditions or asking Jason which judge he would be if he could be a judge. I hope this is the first and the last of this inane filler material.

Ryan introduces Kat McPhee with David Foster on piano, performing George Harrison's Something. Didn't Taylor Hicks perform this in season 5? She looks very lovely, with a big honking diamond on her hand. And in very un-McPhee fashion, she simply sings the melody. And very nicely.

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Ryan tells Archuleta, Brooke, Ramiele and David Hernandez to stand center stage.

Archuleta is given his reviews from last night and is told he's safe.

Brooke White is given her critiques and is sent back to the sofa of safety.

Hernandez and Ramiele are left. And they're holding onto each other for dear life. Ramiele is told she's safe, leaving Hernandez to sing once more.

_______

The bottom three stand center stage, holding hands, awaiting word on which one of them will get to join the good kids on the good sofa. After yet another annoying commerical break, Ryan dismisses Syesha from the bad kids' group, leaving Hernandez and Kristy to face the music.

Kristy is told she's safe, and we're left with one less David to remember.

He watches his goodbye video to the new song from Ruben Studdard.

Good luck, David #3.

Labels:

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD does this mean we'll have to listen to Kristi Lee's version of 8 days a week AGAIN??!!!!!! NOOOoooOOooOooooooo

9:19 PM, March 12, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Randy: Yo dog, McPhee was just aiight, man.

Paula: You look lovely tonight, McPhee. And your singing just pierces the soul.

Simon: I was bored to tears.

9:46 PM, March 12, 2008  
Blogger Dave said...

What the judges were thinking during K-Mac's performance.

Randy: If I were still with Journey, she'd want me. Hell, she wants me now. I'm da dawwwwwwgggg!

Paula: She's so pretty. Someone needs to refill my cup with "coca-cola". Hey, look! A bird . . .

Simon: I can't believe how rich I am. Katharine looks hawt. She wants me . . . just like every other woman in the world. Yeah, I'd hit that.

9:53 PM, March 12, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this show is so FIXED!

10:07 PM, March 12, 2008  
Anonymous Kristen said...

So now we are subjected not just to America's least favorite performance, but its THREE least favorite performances?! Who comes up with this stuff??

10:14 PM, March 12, 2008  
Blogger Sunshine said...

So, let's talk about Ruben's swan song. I really didn't expect him to be singing a Kenny Loggins song. By the way Ryan portrayed it, I thought it was going to be an originally, like Daughtry's Home. It reminded me of why I liked Ruben during season 2, and that was him singing other people's songs. He came out with his own songs, and stunk like a skunk.

Anyways, I'm kind of pleased with tonight's elimination. Now, there's only 2 David's to deal with, and we don't have to listen anymore about the stripper stories. Kristy Lee will be gone next week, cos she certainly won't be able to "country-ize" another Beatle's song.

I'm guessing next week's songs will be from '67-70. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that it will be a better week.

P.S.~ Good job McPhee on Something, soooo much better than having to listen to Taylor sing it!
P.P.S~ Get rid of that damn mosh pit, all I can hear are screaming 12 year olds who are too close to the microphones!

10:24 PM, March 12, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll be happy if Kristy or Amanda goes next week. I don't care in what order. Kristy just isn't that good, and Amanda's not either. Tonight she sounded like a sick frog.

Whats the deal with another week of the Beatles, enough already. They're lucky they don't get sued. lol

Dori

10:48 PM, March 12, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They say don't do Whitney or Celine, I think they should add the Beatles.

Dori

11:09 PM, March 12, 2008  
Blogger DrillerAA said...

I think they ought to have a Whitney, Miriah, Celene night and get it over with. It would be just one big "Glory Note"!!!

Great job, as usual Jennifer.

8:12 AM, March 13, 2008  
Anonymous chris(daughtry)rocks said...

lol @ Dave's comments!

David Hernadez was robbed. The End.

8:26 AM, March 13, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drilleraa, if they did have a Whitney, Miriah and Celene night it would be a riot. Could you see Simon. He'd be miserable.

He wouldn't have a good thing to say all night. lol

Dori

11:35 AM, March 13, 2008  
Blogger Kristi Mantoni said...

Love the recap! Love the fact that Sanjaya was in the audience!! Thank for your comment, it made me smile! You're right about him. It's so funny that there are still so many people that hate him!

12:13 PM, March 13, 2008  

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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!