12 becomes 11: a SIMULBLOG!...

Because THIS is American Idol.

And people die. Kinda sorta. Just like they sing. Kinda sorta.

And since the Beatles were already victims of at least half of the 12 finalists last night, it's only fair that one of the kids gets to be sacrificed in penance for the slaughter.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means I'm watching the show live on the east coast, and I'm typing as fast as I can as the action unfolds with a publish at every important stop. So if you want to know before the show airs where you are, this is the place to be. If you hate to be spoiled, this is the time to click the X at the top of the screen.

Because the show's about to start!

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Who knew that Horton (you know, the guy that heard the Who) and his Who friends were fans of American Idol? Dr. Seuss is crying in heaven now.

Ryan tells us that over 29 million votes were phoned in; 28 million for one contestant, no doubt.

Horton is now in the audience pitching his movie. So this is why we're being subjected to an hour.

Oh God. Next week's theme is - hold on - more Lennon and McCartney. After all, the 12 kids only used 12 songs out of the expensive catalog list of 25. I think I'll start drinking on Monday.

Group Sing!! And it seems to be starring Michael Johns who shows up in various pairs and trios, and Jim Carrey as Horton in the audience who shows up on camera approximately every 25 seconds. It's pretty much as crappy as we come to expect, but only partially because of the kids. Maybe the show should have scaled back on the lights and put a bit more money into the audio system, because harmonies are not supposed to overpower melodies.

At least I don't think.

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As we return from commerical Ryan feels the need to introduce the high/lowlights from last night, starting with Chikezie's star turn and proof that Ryan was sipping from Paula's cup, as I suspected.

The kids are on the sofa.

Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha are told to stand.

Carly Smithson is reminded of her critiques and is safe.

Michael Johns is safe.

Jason Castro is told to have a seat.

Syesha Mercado is reminded of the judges' remarks and is told she's in the bottom three. She joins Ryan on the stage - where the seal used to be, but is no longer there because we have a new fancy stage without a seal.

She's asked to sing one more time. So this is why we're being subjected to an hour of results.

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Crappy Ford Commercial time!! The kids are all dressed-up political-like and "going the distance."

Ryan tells us the show has touched all the kids, and that's why none of them wants to leave. Uh huh. Okay Ryan. So that's the reason. We then get to watch the kids at the - wait for it! - Horton Hears a Who premiere. And I thought the product placement for Coke was over the top.

But at least we know that this is why we're having to watch for an hour.

We're back to the sofa.

Chikezie, Amanda, David #2 and Kristy are told to stand.

Chikezie is told he's safe after Ryan gets one more sweaty brow wipe. Eww.

Amanda Overmyer is safe.

David Cook is looking dapper in his hat and is safe.

Kristy is the one left standing, and she asks for her microphone because she must have watched the tape of her performance.

She's brought to the stage and shrugs at the judges/audience and apologizes that they'll (and us) have to hear her song again. Hell, if I had known that all three bottom-feeders were gonna sing, I would voted for her.

Time for me to take a break. Somewhere away from the television. But SANJAYA is there, applauding his fellow contestant.

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The commericals finally end and the kids are on the sofa, all lined up and ready to take some phone calls. So this is why we're extending the show to an hour.

Honestly I don't want to hear people asking for advice on how to pass the auditions or asking Jason which judge he would be if he could be a judge. I hope this is the first and the last of this inane filler material.

Ryan introduces Kat McPhee with David Foster on piano, performing George Harrison's Something. Didn't Taylor Hicks perform this in season 5? She looks very lovely, with a big honking diamond on her hand. And in very un-McPhee fashion, she simply sings the melody. And very nicely.

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Ryan tells Archuleta, Brooke, Ramiele and David Hernandez to stand center stage.

Archuleta is given his reviews from last night and is told he's safe.

Brooke White is given her critiques and is sent back to the sofa of safety.

Hernandez and Ramiele are left. And they're holding onto each other for dear life. Ramiele is told she's safe, leaving Hernandez to sing once more.

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The bottom three stand center stage, holding hands, awaiting word on which one of them will get to join the good kids on the good sofa. After yet another annoying commerical break, Ryan dismisses Syesha from the bad kids' group, leaving Hernandez and Kristy to face the music.

Kristy is told she's safe, and we're left with one less David to remember.

He watches his goodbye video to the new song from Ruben Studdard.

Good luck, David #3.