Wednesday, April 11, 2007

it's time for a shock?: a SIMULBLOG...

I cannot begin to describe how I detest these one-hour results shows. The reasoning? They gotta give the booted kid enough time to sing the song that got them killed in the first place. Yeah. Right. Knock off the foolish banter or cut out one commercial. That'll be enough time.

But no. We must increase our time while our cast of characters continues to decrease.

Well, all I gotta say about this is: there BETTER be a GROUP SING!

Jennifer Lopez will make a repeat appearance to hawk her poorly-selling CD; it will be on the top of the charts tomorrow. We will get a FORD COMMERCIAL! We will get interviews with the kids, because we really haven't gotten to know them this season. We will get 37 minutes of commercials. We'll have to endure more appeals for contributions to the "Idol Pats Itself On The Back" spectacular. But we better not get repeat performances from last night by the bottom three.

There's a scent of a SHOCKER in the air, and most pundits, myself included, think it's gonna be KiKi's last stand. Dial Idol has everyone but Blake in dangerous territory, so it's anyone's guess who might fill the bottom tier. I wouldn't be surprised to see a LaKisha/Jordin tandem, if, for no other reason than to boost Jordin's stake a bit higher going into the final seven show. But I still expect Phil and Haley to be there, because, well, they've pretty much homesteaded the seal this season. They just won't leave. And since every bootee this season has been kicked to the curb in their first (and only) trip to the bottom three, it's unlikely they'll leave tonight.

But we can hope.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means it's being blogged live, as the action is unfolding in the Eastern time zone, complete with typos and incoherence, published at each significant break, so if you're from another time zone, like, for instance, Botswana, and you don't want the bad news until it airs in your neck of the woods, you might want to check out
Pogo. That Qwerty game is kicking my butt. But stop back by after the show to gnash teeth with everyone else.

Ryan kicks off the show with the expected banter and has a little fun with this season's whipping boy, Sanjaya. See? This season just wouldn't be the same without him. Sanjaya, that is. Not Ryan.

YAY! Group Sing! Very entertaining. But I'm going through group sing withdrawal, so anything would be good.

Skin alert Yellow. Haley's got clothes on.

Ryan tells us that over 35 million votes were cast last night, as Ryan takes us on a public opinion stroll, time that would have been better spent doing, well, anything else.

Ryan introduces the "first" guest. First? That implies more than one. This is not going to go well. And it's Akon who, I think, was the performer who tagged along with Gwen Stefani. That officially gives him one more American Idol performance than Brandon Rogers.

Okay, when exactly did American Idol become the Ed Sullivan show? (Young people, ask your parents.) That performance was needless and, quite frankly, annoying.

I'm not going to be a happy blogger tonight apparently.

FORD COMMERCIAL! The kids are Happily morphing Together! YAY!

Charity show. Charity show. Charity show. Yadda. Yadda. Whatever.

Phil gets reminded of his reviews, and he's sent to the seal.
LaKisha gets reminded and is told she's safe.
Jordin gets her reviews, and is told she's coming back for country night.
Sanjaya is told to stand, then gets a never mind.
Melinda gets her reviews and, shockingly, is told she's safe.
Haley is told she's back in the bottom three.
Sanjaya's told to stand. Then told to sit.
Blake is safe.
Chris and Sanjaya are told to stand. One is safe; one isn't.
Sanjaya is safe, and Chris is sent to the seal.

For the first time this season, the bootee will not be a bottom three rookie.

One of them is going to get sent back to safety. And it's Chris, leaving Phil and Haley waiting for the ax.

Jennifer Lopez performs, and that means potty break.

Well, at least we're going to lose some of the dead wood, so there shouldn't be too much outcry, pounding of fists, gnashing of teeth or death threats upon Sanjaya this week, because neither of the two remaining added enough to the entertainment value of the show to be missed.

Phil is told he's safe, and Haley puts up a brave face as she waves bye-bye to the audience and watches her funeral video to the sound of Daughtry. And she's given barely enough time to give her swan song.

So long Haley.



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21 Comments:

Blogger monique said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:57 PM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger monique said...

the worst ford video this season...where's the interaction, the playfulness, the love among the top eight?! but all the songs for the Ford commercials have been interesting this season-this one not excluded.

thank you all for not picking haley!!

she's going to regret her "goodbye" singing.

10:00 PM, April 11, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really like J-lo. She was great. This was byfar the best results show episode of the season.

10:04 PM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

Any results show longer than 15 minutes is too long. An hour borders on cruel and unusual punishment for everyone.

10:44 PM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

What was the point of Akon? The Wiggles are better than him!

10:45 PM, April 11, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Akon? Wasn't he just on, or did I have a nightmare and he was in it.

I like the Wiggles too. lol
Dori

11:02 PM, April 11, 2007  
Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

Why was Akon on?! Why am I asking "why?" This is American Idol, where nothing this season seems to make much sense.

Anyway, I won't miss Haley. Her departure was long overdue. I'm not a J.Lo fan, but I have to say, her performance gave me a few goosebumps. But that's only cuz I was comparing it to the contestants from the night before.

Peace out, yo.

7:02 AM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Artificially Intelligent said...

whew, Jordin is safe... I must say I was a little worried by DI predictions.. but they only got one right re: bottom three. I actually liked the hour long show.. it gave me something to watch before Lost came on.
As someone else said.. J-Lo is not someone I care much for but she put on an excellent performance last night and hopefully, showed the contestants how to infuse some passion into a song. I've never even heard of Akon but I kind of liked the song in a mindless sort of way.
So, America finally got it right and voted out one of the people who should have been gone long ago. Do you think it'll be Sanjaya anytime soon? I just can't see him pulling off a country song and he might butcher it so badly that he'll give voters no choice but to give him the boot. BTW I woke up this morning to hear NPR discussing American Idol and the Sanjaya phenomenon... what's the world coming to??? As for next week's theme...there really isn't a 'country' type this year.. nobody like Kellie or Carrie.. how will Melinda manage not to mention Kiki?? questions questions questions..

9:18 AM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger jennifer said...

Actually, DialIdol got all three correctly. It predicted all but Blake had the possiblity of landing in the B3. And it was right. Blake didn't.

11:00 AM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Phil will be next, unless they surprise us and let LaKisha or Sanjaya go home.

If Sanjaya makes it to the top 3 I am going to be sick. He is such a creepy little guy. Just watching him makes me miss last years season.

Last year was such a fun year, I was on a high for a month after the show. This year I keep waiting for something "great".

I've heard that Blake and Melinda are at the top. Blake is interesting and Melinda can sing, but I don't see them as being an AI. I don't think Blakes vocals are strong enough and I don't enyoy watching Melinda.

So my votes will be for Jordin, she's adorable and "sparkly" and gets better each week. She has the whole package, voice, personality and looks.

Dori

11:03 AM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Artificially Intelligent said...

Hi Jennifer.. technically I guess Dial Idol got it right but the difference in scores between Lakisha 6.45 Jordin 6.76 and Haley 8.9 and even Phil at 9.15 made me think Jordin was in trouble.. I don't think I'm going to pay attention to DI anymore!!

11:47 AM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was a very good show.

12:12 PM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, I liked J-Lo. I haven't much cared for her, but with the kids, she came across and sincere and caring, and much like a lot of her movie characters in personality (like Monster-in-law). She might actually be a regular nice person :)

still wouldn't buy her album, but I'll have a more positive opinion of her now :) so hey, it worked for her being on the show, she converted a non fan to a sorta fan haha

ok, glad/sad Haley is gone, woulda rather kept her for next week than Phil, she's cuter. Blake is the only one I've thought all year that is likely to be able to sell each theme. So far that's held up. Melinda, while picking good songs for her style, hasn't really changed styles at all, so this could get really strange. What's a popular country show tune? 9 to 5 maybe?? How about East Bound and Down? hahaha (that would be great if someone picked that)

Oh, and I forgot to mention this in my critique. Did Melinda's version of Sway remind anyone else of a Bond theme song? It's all I could think of while listening, how much it sounded like a Bond theme from the Moore era. And it worked really well, I was thinking if I was in charge of the next Bond film, I might just have to hire her for the theme, and heck, maybe make it Sway :) Maybe they could even tie in the shadowed naked lady dance swaying to the song hahaha (that is, if they bring that back, it wasn't in this latest one for those who haven't seen it yet)

For those that didn't get the Akon song, it seems Idol has their own pop artist "who we are listening to" list, and these shows are now going to feature someone from that list, I guess whomever is at the top that week or wasn't already on for that purpose I hope.

oh, and my guess is 50 mill for Simon to sing :) Ryan didn't seem to catch Simon saying 20 mill wasn't high enough, meaning make it a real goal, not just a couple more mill :) heck ,Fox already tapped in 5, getting to 20 won't be hard.

Worst country week performance? My guess, Chris. His voice would seem to least fit that style, from guessing. Though Kiki and Melinda are unlikely to be overly impressive. Does Jordin know what Country music is? Does Country mean Sanjaya can sing a country song from "his" homeland, well his pops homeland I guess? hmm, that would be um, interesting hahaha So many fun questions this week.

oh well, while this isn't the most interesting group of singers, and we aren't in "love" with them like last year's crop, this year sure makes for more fun analyzing the show haha . until next week,no bad singing ya hear now

JJ

1:01 PM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger Dave said...

If there's anything we can learn from DialIdol this year it's that there is no clear frontrunner.

I think if you look at last year's voting, there were a couple of people who were consistently at the top, and then there was everyone else.

This year, with no one "breaking out", it seems like everyone is in play. On one level that makes things exciting because things are unpredictable. On another level, though, since there seems to be a whole lot of mediocrity and not a bunch of people who could win (like last year), it makes some people call this season a snoozer.

Remember season 2 was much the same way: there was Rueben, Clay, and then everyone else. This year, there are four contenders and then everyone else fighting for scraps.

What I find odd is that we haven't seen someone as polarising as Sanjaya since John Stevens, and even then I don't think there were as many people who absolutely hated John; they just thought he was in over his head.

1:15 PM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger jennifer said...

That's the biggest problem with DialIdol's predictions. Given the differences in populations, and the fact that it measures only a self-selected sample, plus the myriad of errors that the software inherently has, it must have a huge margin of error. Texting is saving/hurting a number of people, and DI can't account for that. That's one of the big reasons McPhee always lagged behind on DI, but always pulled through. She had massive texting.

Dave, I think the level of anger at Sanjaya is comparable to John Stevens. Remember, there were people who threatened to kill JS on the tour if he made it further, especially after the JHud boot. The big difference that I sense is that, even though they're both the same age on the show, people tended to remember that JS was a teen, where people seem to be forgetting that Sanjaya's just a kid, so the level of venom is, to me, disturbing, as it was then.

Sanjaya, though, seems to be playing the game a lot better than JS did, and, IMO, he has more talent than JS ever dreamed of having.

2:33 PM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After the last couple of weeks of worrying about Jordin being in the bottom 2, I'm just not going to check out DI anymore.

Maybe when its down to the last 2 or 3 it will be more accurate, but like you said Jennifer, there's the texting that has to be added in.

I think most people realize that Sanjaya is just a kid, like John Stevens. I think the difference is it appears he is trying to tick everyone off with his crazy hairdos and bad singing. You kind of get the impression he knows he sucks and thinks its funny, like he's in on the whole VFTW thing. That's what is annoying about him.

Dori

Unless he is just living in his own little world.

3:07 PM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger Dave said...

I think Dori hit the nail right on the head. Sanjaya seems to be seeing exactly how far he can go and still not get eliminated (hence the faux-hawk).

When he was eliminated, Simon told John that he was a good kid and took everything like a man: without complaint, without making excuses and giving absolutely 100%. It's not his fault that he never should have been advanced as far as he was. Despite all of the vitriol people hurled at John, I think that he earned a lot of respect because he treated the show with respect and he was trying.

Sanjaya is exposing American Idol for what it is: a popularity contest fueled by outrageous stunts and personalities at the expense of talent.

6:06 PM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger jennifer said...

Yes. That's exactly what Sanjaya is doing. Which is why I applaud him. And why Randy told him, IMO, that he's one of the smartest contestants.

He knows he can't compete vocally with Blake, Jordin and Melinda, so he's making his mark in other ways. And he's memorable in a dull and unmemorable season. And that's what's drawing people to vote for him. He's using the system, exactly as it's ripe to be used.

And for that I say good for him. If the show is not above using people to torture us with weeks of unbearable auditions, why shouldn't someone, who was put through BY the show, use the same tactic.

By whatever means necessary...

7:47 PM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you about Sanjaya.
Good for him!

8:07 PM, April 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sanjaya is definitely working it, and that's OK.

Its just that with this drab season there could of been someone "really great" that had his spot.

That's not his fault, its the producers of the show or judges who put him through. Makes you wonder.

What really bothers me is the VFTW group. I love this show and they are really trying to mess it up.

Dori

11:15 PM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:24 AM, April 14, 2007  

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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!