more killings!: a SIMULBLOG!...

Four more human sacrifices are on tap for tonight. I think this is still the only place where the murder (of hopes and dreams) is legal. And celebrated.

We are such benevolent folks.

Anyway, benevolence aside, this is a SIMULBLOG, which means I'm typing fast and furiously as the action is unfolding on the east coast, so, if you don't live in that time zone and want to be shocked, you need to leave. Now. Because I'll be hitting the publish NOW button at every important stop. And if you want to be totally spoiled, just keep hitting the refresh button. New stuff will appear. Eventually. Unless I'm thoroughly engrossed in a commercial. (And if I am, I'll critique it too.)

Because THIS is American Idol!

Let the group sing begin!!

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Has anyone yet seen Taylor in the opening credits? Just askin'.

Ryan tells us that 31 million votes were sent in last night - unprecedented, he says. And then there is the requisite unnecessary banter between him and the panel. Yawn.

GROUP SING! It's a 70s medley! And, despite a band that is far too loud and some rough transitions, it's really good! This group seems to actually know how to sing as a group. We haven't seen that in a lot of seasons.

We get the pointy pose ending and it's a cut to commercial.

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Ryan has the guys on the sofa of death and destruction. We are treated to the highlights of Tuesday's performance episode. I'm liking the little bits of the off-stage moments that we didn't get to see.

Ryan makes the back row of Michael, Jason C., Chikeze, Jason Y. and Danny stand. Michael is told to sit. So is Chikeze. Jason Castro is told to relax, in a roundabout way.

Danny looks about to throw up. And Jason Yeager is told he's singing tonight. He doesn't look shocked. Neither do we.

Ryan asks him if he knew he was going. He gives the obvious answer. Then they begin to fill time as the judges give him parting advice.

He performs the Doobies about 50% better than the last time, and the guys give him big guy hugs as he waves bye-bye.

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Now it's time for the highlights of girls night. Were there highlights?

The girls are lined up on the sofa. Ryan stands the row of Kristy Lee, Amanda, Asia'h, Alexandrea and Brooke. He sits Kristy down. Asia'h is safe. Brooke is told to sit.

Alexandrea is told she's hitting the road. This is not right.

The judges give her the "keep trying" speeches, and Alexandrea tries to keep it together as she sings her last song.

So long Alex-and-Rea. You shoulda never sang a song about leaving. Happens every time.

David #1 is near breakdown when she rushes from the stage to give him big loving hugs. Aww. That was sweet.

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Now Ryan is asking the front row of women to stand. Carly, Kady, Syesha, Ramiele and Alaina do what they're told.

Carly is told to sit. So is Ramiele. And Syesha. Alaina and Kady are called to the seal. Kady is told she's safe and Alaina looks shellshocked. That is totally wrong. She's crying so hard she refuses to sing. Ryan explains that people have to leave. Paula tries to cheer her up. Alaina apologizes for crying on television. Ryan gives her the choice to sing or not. The girls surround her and offer to help. That's cool. Everybody is crying, including the guys, and swaying to the music.

Bye Alaina. You're right - your eyes are not the first to cry.

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Ryan tells us that Ruben has recorded a new see-ya song for the kids. And he tells us that the theme for the top 12 - because they're the BEST EVER - will be the Beatles songbook. We then get reminded of last year's Idol Gives Back because - yes, hold on to your checkbook - it's gonna happen again. Hopefully they'll remember that we watch this show for the idols, so they'll invite more than just Kelly and Carrie back for this celebration. (Actually I already know that Elliott Yamin is going to be one of the African correspondents, so hopefully that's a good sign that Idol will remember what got them here.) Wednesday, April 9 is the date.

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The three Davids, Robbie and Luke are on the firing line as the last of the executions begins. God, I hope whoever it is doesn't cry. I don't know if I can handle any more tears.

Luke and Robbie are called to the seal. The Davids are told to sit.

They are reminded of their reviews, and Ryan says it's the end of the line for Robbie Carrico. Robbie blames bad song choice and the judges offer advice, which, I don't think, makes him feel any better.

All of the dead people gather on stage to watch their collected funeral video.

Next week we'll reduce the field - finally - to twelve. Are we safe in presuming that they'll be singing the songs of the 1980s?

See you then. Unless somebody else's mug shot appears.

So...your assessment of the evening?