memphis is burnin', love...

All-in-all, the Memphis audition episode was the best yet. With only an hour with which to torture us, the auditions, both bad and not bad were kept at reasonable length, so suicides should have decreased. No puppies were kicked for sport, and no children had candy stripped from their fingers. Or, at least the ones who did lose their candy did so deservedly.

Yes. It's much more fun to laugh at the humiliation of the truly arrogant rather than the ones who are mentally challenged.

Like my personal favorite, Janita, who assured the audience that making a first impression is imperative, and that the judges would, in all liklihood, view her as both innocent and conservative, but very sexy, because she likes to be sexy, just not "over the top." Something of a top, though, would have been advisable. Too bad her "confidentiality" got stripped.

Now that was funny. Something tells me we'll see her in the finale.

And something tells me at least two of the Memphis crew will be sticking around through April. My pick is Melinda Doolittle, the session background singer who put a wallop on Stevie Wonder despite almost peeing her pants. The other is Jason "Sundance" Head who, according to Simon, blew Taylor out of the park. While Taylor may have had the more memorable audition, I can see Sundance giving the reigning idol a run for his money.

And yes, we had Phil Stacy, nominee for daddy of the year, narrowly getting passed through, even though, by the end of Hollywood, I have a hunch he'll have tons of time to spend with his new baby and Sean Michel who, unless he undergoes a major transformation and sheds that Fidel Castro homage, won't be vying for any live votes, despite a decent vocal.

And then there were the many others who left screaming and dancing while clutching their golden paper. We'll meet them at a later date, because it's all about pulling underwear out of our flies while croaking how we're a hunk 'a burnin' loooove right now.

Because THIS is American Idol.

Next stop: NYC.