and then there were ten...

After an unimpressive start, the remaining 10 women have a ways to go to convince us that, as a group, they're more entertaining than the guys.

They didn't. But we are treated to a return to the vintage Paula and a round of musical chairs. That itself was semi-amusing and somewhat worth the 90-minute investment.

And so here they are, my early impressions, subject to rewind, review and rearrangement, and as always, from worst to first:

Kinnik Sky is saluting country because she wants to remind (inform?) everyone that she's from the South and everybody knows Idols only come from the South. So she sings some song I've never heard about only being There for the Party that Randy mentions is by somebody named Gretchen. I generally worry about critiquing country music because, well, I hate it, so I feel relieved when the judges pretty much chop her at the knees, just above the cowboy boots. In a word, that was awful.

Brenna Gethers promises to "own" Donna Summer's Last Dance, but trashes it instead. And in her quest to further destruct, crosses the line from playful to arrogant, ensuring her ouster or a rush to the phones to keep her in. People tend to vote for the one whom Simon announces needs to pack her bags, but I have a hunch this time those voters may be too busy applauding to dial.

Heather Cox, the Idol stalker, explains that she's going to put us through a Mariah moment because "Hero has never ever been performed on this show." Earth to Heather: there's a reason for that. Paula tells her she looks nice, Randy agrees. She looks nice. Simon tells her the entire performance is pointless if she's not as good as Mariah and merely going to karaoke the song. I think she looked very nice.

Since it is a FCC regulation that no American Idol episode may be aired without a Stevie Wonder song, Katharine McPhee treats us to All in Love is Fair after explaining that she and Kellie love each other and like spending time in bed. Great. Scandal! Randy says bad song. Paula takes another sip of her cocktail, and Simon says after three performances, Katharine's will be forgotten. I dozed halfway through her performance, so I'll just tend to agree.

I heard on great authority (that authority being a 12-year-old girl) that Lisa Tucker is not high on the favorite list of the hot-dialing tweens. And I doubt that she did much to help her cause, taking on yet another ballad, this time the Jackson 5's Who's Loving You. Technically she was adequate, but the judges were right that a 16-year-old trying to show off how old she can be is not going to advance her very far.

Ayla Brown takes on Celine Dion. She's thrilled to have discovered cosmetics during her Idol run. (Note to self: buy stock in Max Factor.) The judges remark how she's surprising them time after time. She is surprising me too. As much as I try not to like this girl, I can't.

We get a little glimpse of when Mayberry met Hollywood with Kellie Pickler explaining her food adventures. Somehow, somewhere in my gut, something just doesn't ring true about this girl. Either that or I'm just sick of the "look how dumb I am" routine. But she does good work with Something to Talk About. Paula gives her a squish moment, Randy orders the dawgpound to bark and Simon announces that, if we haven't already, America will fall in love with this genuinely loveable girl. Speak for yourself, Simon.

Paris Bennett, the teenager with the tween vote, according to my reliable sourse, decides to rapidly age with Wind Beneath my Wings. Oh Paris, please do not do this again until a theme night forces you to. Will somebody please banish that song from the AI catalog. Please. Except for a few flat places, she was the Paris we've come to expect, I just hate that song. Her grandmother is pleased though, and she tells Ryan she sang it because it's her great-Aunt's favorite, to which Simon replies case closed.

Mandisa gets the sweet spot, wrapping up the performances with Cry a Little. Does she know that that's a microphone in front of her? It's a crappy song, but a decent performance. I just wish she would just go totally wild and just once not try to out-amplify the amplifiers. Simon and Randy are less than impressed but they agree with me that if and when Mandisa finds just the right tune, it's going to be a performance to remember.

Having already established the fact that I am not a country music fan, I found myself tapping a foot or two to Melissa McGhee's Why Haven't I Heard from You. After what I considered a bland performance last week, she was fun, energetic and, in an overall weak night, she was a bright spot. And hers was my favorite of the night.

Tomorrow the dawgs. (Is anyone else kinda sick of the dawgpound routine?) And if Paula insists on turning the girls into poodles again, I hope someone has her spayed.


tag: american idol