girls night one: early observations...

After hours and hours of auditions, bad group numbers and overall boringness, it's time to hit the stage live. And as Ryan tells us, it's ladies first. Of course.

But, of course, the guys are huddled on the nearest bleachers. They will soon be dubbed the "dawg pound" no doubt.

Of course they're going two hours, since, well, figure skating is on on another channel and, since Idol is winning the ratings medal race, they simply must rub it into Sasha Cohen's face. So with two hours, there's more filler than lyrics, so we're treated to a review of how all of the girls got the news that they were moving on to next rounds.

But they are dressed. They are rehearsed, or so they say. And they sing. And here they are, as always, from worst to first, reserving my right to rewind, rewatch and rearrange:

Stevie Scott makes sure we understand that she has studied opera since, like, the beginning of her life. So she says she's going to sing Josh Groban. Perhaps she shouldn't have. She misses more notes than she hits, disappointing me because I thought she would do better. Simon calls it a complete mess. He's being kind.

Becky O'Donahue tells everyone she's going to sing Because the Night because it holds special sister-type memories. She sounds better than she has through the audition/Hollywood episodes, which isn't saying much because I'm still wondering why she made it this far.

Heather Cox explains that the reason nobody heard her in the Hollywood episodes is because she didn't have a voice. And she also admits to being an Idol stalker. Her too? So, because she's such a big fan, she's going to show season four how to sing When You Tell Me That You Love Me. Randy and Paula tell her that the song was boring. No kidding. We said that last year. But they're right; she is average, even boring, but not the worst tonight. I still, though, think she's toast.

Brenna Gathers dedicates You are the Sunshine of my Life to her mom, and tells the story of her life in three minutes. She's not bad; she's not great. She's just there. The judges blast her for playing it too safe, but she is Brenna in her full glory, actually slowly becoming more charming with time. And each pose.

Kinnik Sky wanders into "should be banned song" territory to dredge up Get Here. She's not bad. She's not great. She's a six, says Randy. She's being overshadowed by the toddlers, says Simon. When you haven't had any airtime to speak of, you must be unforgettable. She's not.

Melissa McGhee revels in the fact that Simon went from hate to love during the process, then proceeds to burn her employment bridges but performs When the Lights Go Down with the same stridency that bothered me from Kellie. It may be her; it may be the song. I'm not sure, but I am not entertained, nor am I annoyed. Ambivalence, perhaps. She does get her pitch in, though, that she's not been seen yet on the how, and for that I give her bonus points.

Kellie Pickler says since she doesn't have a love life, she's going to be thinking of her dad when she tries How Far by Martina McBride. Now forgive me, but I detest country, and I about got fed up with Martina McBride songs last season. But Kellie pushes the song so hard that my muscles start hurting. But she's so danged lovable, that a lukewarm performance is quickly forgotten. And I'm glad that Clyde, her grandfather, is getting dates. Really. I am.

Ayla Brown says she's going to sing Reflections from Mulan because she wants respect. She surprises me. Or I surprise me. I'm not sure which. But I liked it. And I liked her.

Mandisa tackles Heart and is, of course, reminded that Carrie Underwood did too. "Sisters can rock too," she announces. And she can. And she does. Simon tells her she's going to the finals. She tells the world that she and Simon are "kinda" dating. Oh geesh. Here we go again. I thought they had a new fraternization policy.

Lisa Tucker tears up Jennifer Holliday's I am Changing. Finally the girl seems to understand that there's more to performing than singing. Randy gives her the eh, eh, okay dude treatment, but Simon, of all people, assures her that she's the real thing.

Paris Bennett decides to take on Gladys Knight and try Midnight Train to Georgia. She all but touches every single member of the dawgpound and the audience. She's pretty and she's perky and she takes no prisoners.

As we've come to expect, the last performer is who the producers think is the best on that given day. And they were right. Katharine McPhee's version of Since I Fell for You is one of the most comfortable, relaxed performances I've ever seen on the semi-final stage. And while the competition is tight in the first five spots, she just edges the others out. By an eyelash.

Tomorrow night: the guys. Eight o'clock. FOX.

tag: american idol