Wednesday, April 25, 2007

it's a SHOCKER!...

Yes, Ryan uttered the "S" word at the end of last night's performance episode. Tonight we're in for the ultimate SHOCKER.


But, of course, any hardcore Idol viewer knows that what they consider a "shocker" and what we consider "shocking" are often two very different things.

So what could it be on this night where Nigel, Ken, Ryan, Simon, et. al., will be high-fiving each other over the gazillions of dollars they have raised to save all of the little children all over the globe?


It won't be an elimination night. After all, what a downer way to end such a star-studded show than to kick one of the kids to the curb and make them cry as they watch their funeral footage. So the shocker could be that everybody's safe, because all of the votes were just meant to profit charity, not to crush the dreams of a better life for LaKisha and her kid. (We're saving kids, remember?) The problem with this, as a "shocker", is that they've done it before, in season two, after Corey Clark was disqualified, so technically it's not a shocker.


They're staying true to the theme of "Idol Gives Back." And so, Idol will give us back Sanjaya!


They're going to admit that the votes really don't count and that Clay Aiken really won season two. And Jasmine Trias really won season 3.


They're going to announce that Brian Dunkleman is returning. (Okay, that would really be a shocker.)


They're going to reveal that the biggest corporate donors from last night were Chrysler and Pepsi.

How about...

They aren't going to run one single solitary commercial. And instead, they're donating the forfeited ad revenue to feed the starving kids. Yeah, right. And I'm the next Miss USA.


The super-duper-top-secret duet will be Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell singing You Light Up My Life. Don Imus and Howard Stern will provide back-up vocals. Okay. Maybe not.


Nigel Lythgoe, Ken Warwick and the Three Stooges are going to issue a formal apology for this season. We all get our hours back plus a promise that next year will be better.

Or better yet...

It's gonna be a four-way boot! They just crown Jordin Sparks and Melinda Doolittle co-winners, give each of them a million dollar contract and finish out the rest of the season with a five-way showdown between Justin Guarini, Kimberley Locke, Diana DeGarmo, Bo Bice and Elliott Yamin. Hey. I'm liking that one.

So, what's your idea of a SHOCKER?

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Blogger AlbGlinka said...

A Trump/Rosie duet would be awesome, but that'll probably happen on The View, since news just broke that she's leaving that show...

Good guess that no one will leave. But how 'bout this idea: the contestant with the highest votes is safe for one week and gets sent to Africa to help feed cute little children?

12:34 PM, April 25, 2007  
Blogger Dave said...

A truly great shocker would be having Kelly, Rueben, Fantasia, Carrie and Taylor all on stage at once(!) along with Bono to sing "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For".

Other than that, the only shocker I want to see is a cagematch featuring JPL, John Stevens, Sanjaya, Leah Labelle, Camile Velasco (and her bikini) and Carmen Rasmussen with the winner getting a head-to-head rocheambeau against Robert Smith.

12:41 PM, April 25, 2007  
Blogger jennifer said...

Eww. You said "Leah LaBelle" in my blog. Vulgar. Just vulgar.

But can I add to that cagematch Jim Verraros, AJ Gill, Corey Clark, Mikalah Gordon, Lindsey Cardinale, Kevin Covais and Kellie Pickler?

My money's on Pickler.

12:46 PM, April 25, 2007  
Blogger AlbGlinka said...

I just read this from Simon Cowell on L.A. Times Show Tracker site:

“A lot of these, our results shows, they do seem a bit long sometimes before you get to the actual end part. I think that just overall it’s going to feel like a much more spectacular entertainment night. Reminding people why we’re doing this, in terms of the charities, but not forgetting the fact that it’s still a competition and it’s going to end with who goes home. I just think the stakes are much higher this week.” (bold-face mine)

So it seems unlikely that they'll all get a pass.

12:46 PM, April 25, 2007  
Anonymous Robin said...

The real shocker would be announcing that Taylor Hicks' album is at the top of the charts.

12:52 PM, April 25, 2007  
Blogger monique said...

announcement: "we garnered over 50million votes last night, thanks"
a huge check to a charity.
another huger check to another charity. (maybe one from simon...)
volunteers on stage or in special audience section.


sanjaya would be fun though!
as 'not amazing' as he was, he was fun to watch...oh, sanjaya!

2:15 PM, April 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Elliot would sooo win!

3:37 PM, April 25, 2007  
Blogger Kristi Mantoni said...

Love the last one and the one about Sanjaya coming back!!

10:25 PM, April 25, 2007  
Blogger Laura said...

bring back dunkleman! if they truly wanted to add entertainment value back to the show this season, i think that's the best bet.

11:18 PM, April 25, 2007  
Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

"The super-duper-top-secret duet will be Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell singing You Light Up My Life. Don Imus and Howard Stern will provide back-up vocals."

LMAO! This would definitely light up MY life!

5:56 AM, April 26, 2007  

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