Initial impressions

And so the final six is instructed not to wander back any further than the current decade. This, of course, means we get a show chock full of recent hits and biographical sketches. And we get to see the families! And we get to see Clay Aiken.

It's about time we got to know a little about them. Too bad I knew nothing -- absolutely zero -- about any of the songs.

When you're assaulted with six songs you do not know, and you've not had the opportunity to rewind and review, it's tough to critique. And, considering this is the meatiest of the final sixes thus far, it's even more difficult. But, as always, I'll try my best. And, as always, they're from worst to first.

Constantine. Well who would have thunk that after weeks of praise, I would stick Constantine last? But last he was. I don't have a clue what that song was called, and I really don't care, because I plan to never hear it again. It was fun to see his family. (It's been his brother all these weeks in the audience!) But I didn't much care for the sole of his shoe. Simon was right. After giving us the Partridges and Queen, to try to go back to the dark side at this point was a glaringly bad decision.

Vonzell. I don't want to say anything bad about Vonzell, because she proved more than capable of whopping my butt. But, the entire first half of her performance was out of tune, and, although she did bring it back at the middle half and end it well, but the first half let me down, Vonzell, because I've come to trust your performances, beginning to end.

Scott. I don't like this song, although the message is beautiful. Luther Vandross would be wonderful to sing on tour, but when you're fighting to stay in the game, I think he was a bad choice. But the principle of the song might have been more important than the results, because in connection with the bio, it did hold some significance. You have a marvelous voice Scott, and I hope for your fans, you can continue in the competition. And, as a side note, you've never looked better.

Carrie. Carrie decided to revert to her country roots, cows and all. Again, I had never heard this song, and I choose never to again. It was risky to go thoroughly country on American Idol, and I think the judges were right. You seemed to be fighting the band all through the song. You were fighting for volume, fighting for tempo and fighting for pitch. And the band won.

Anthony. Simon (again) was right. I personally hated this song, but I'm not a Celine Dion fan. But there are gazillions of girls who are ruining the warranty on their sparkly pink Bratz phones right now, panting girlishly, rewarding you for making their hearts go aflutter.

Bo. Considering tonight was a relative snoozefest and the only alternative to the ballads was Carrie's Tennessee tune and Constantine's kickfest, I will overlook the wardrobe and say, with some hesitation, that your Anything But Me, although I've never heard of it, was the best of a lackluster night. If someone forced me to take home one of tonight's performances as a single, this would be the only one I would agree to.

Yeah. It was another one of those nights.

Who's going home? Don't know. I'll get back to you on that.