Early observations, disco-style

For some insane reason, the producers decided to shove the kids through a disco strainer and subject us to a 70s dance music flashback. I'm still shuddering.

Okay, having confessed my dislike for disco (once again), the kids really did do an overall fine job. There were no butchered songs, no backtalk, no hair raising moments.

But if only the theme had been different.

Nonetheless, without benefit of listening to the audio without benefit of video, or the privilege of watching the show again, I have those early observations, as always from worst to first:

There really is no worst, and, except for the last two, any of these five could be placed in any order.

Anthony. It's always tough when one of the kids does a song I just don't like, because I always question if I'm critiquing the song or the singer. Anthony didn't hit any clinkers. He had an overall fine performance, but the song just didn't do it for me.

Anwar. This performance would have been the bomb if you had restrained from trying to dance. It started off pitch, as you're so prone to do, but it ended with the usual glory. But Clay Aiken taught all of you a valuable lesson: if you can't dance, don't try.

Scott. Everlasting Love has been done to death. Obviously his mom hasn't been watching the past two seasons. Clay performed it in season two; Jasmine in season three. It's an average song, so I don't expect goosebumps. Scott was perfectly fine, in tune and on pitch, but it just wasn't, as Simon said, anything terribly extraordinary, but then, neither were most of the others.

Constantine. At least I appreciated you transforming this song. The problem with the transformation is that it was taken from a dance song into something undanceable. But the effort was noteworthy. And you kept the goo goo eyes to a minimum -- always good. But there's one thing I want to know: who is that guy in the family section, the one who is there every week?

Carrie. I know that the judges were drooling all over you, as usual, but this performance was a bit flat to me. Your stage presence is improving by leaps and bounds, though, and for that I give you the highest compliment.

Vonzell. We expected that you would shine on disco night, and you did. The judges were right: this was probably the most complicated song to perform, and, while some of your notes were a bit left of center, the performance, overall, was terrific. I just hope your fans hang in there, cause you don't deserve to be taking any walks tomorrow.

Bo. Any question I had about your ambivalence with the competition were erased. I love the unclean shaven Bo. Yowzer. And thank you thank you for giving us a break from the disco heartburn. It was the perfect song; it was the night's best performance.

Bottom three? Don't know. I'll get back with you on that. Now I gotta go polish my platforms.