Sunday, April 10, 2005

It's fantasy idol: birth date edition!

In the days preceding Tuesdays, the rumors run wild and rampant about possible themes. Most of the rumors turn out to be just that, but occasionally enough information surfaces that, while it may or may not prove to be accurate, is convincing enough to merit attention.

Above is a photo, taken after Wednesday's show, which shows Ryan and the kids, taping their "surprise! Here's next week's theme. Can anyone guess the clues?" moment. Carrie is holding a baby photo of herself as the others admire her in her infant adorableness.

A theme that has never been held on American Idol, but has been a theme on many of the other Idol shows, such as Canadian Idol and Australian Idol, is the "Birth Year Theme," where the contestants must choose a song recorded sometime within the year of their birth. The baby photos (it appears as if Ryan is holding pics of all of them -- Vonzell's seems to be next) would lend a bit of credence to this idea.

So, it may be right, or it may be wrong, but no one is gonna fall over dead if I play around, so here we go.

It's Fantasy Idol -- Birth Year edition!

Bo and Constantine, if this turns out to be true, have hit the lottery. Both of them, born in 1975, have a treasure trove of beauties from which to choose. It was so difficult to narrow down choices for both of them, so I went a little overboard, but I did kind of compile each of their first CDs!

If Constantine would listen to me, he might consider You are So Beautiful, by Joe Cocker. Imagine that song, those goo-goo eyes and millions of females with drool coming out the side of their mouths. But, if he prefers to jazz things up this week, he might try Sweet Emotion, by Aerosmith, You're the First, The Last, My Everything, by Barry White or How Sweet It Is by James Taylor. And, if he wants to drive that final nail in the I'm Not A Rocker coffin, there is always He Don't Love You (Like I Love You) by Tony Orlando and Dawn or Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song, by B.J. Thomas. You're welcome, Constantine! One word of warning, though: do NOT announce to the world that Thank God I'm A Country Boy, by John Denver.

The Bo choices are plentiful too. My first choice would be Black Water (again) by the Doobie Brothers, but I really question how easy it would be to sing as a single. But that worry don't stop me from wanting to hear it. So Bo, you might consider Some Kind of Wonderful, by Grand Funk Railroad or even Amie, by Pure Prairie League. Lynyrd Skynyrd is always good, though. How about Free Bird? Saturday Night Special? Then there is always Hey You, by Bachman Turner Overdrive. (I know ... I keep harping for Bo to sing BTO, but I love them. What else can I say?) Another possibility would be That's The Way of the World, by Earth Wind and Fire. Just, please, no matter how much we love you, do NOT out yourself to world that you are, indeed, a Rhinestone Cowboy, by Glen Campbell.

Oh, the possibilities! Oh, the fantasy!

Scott would have to dive into the songs from 1976. And he is still under so much pressure to excel. So Scott, I would select for you You'll Never Find, by Lou Rawls. How I adore that song. No? Then consider This Masquerade, by George Benson, More Than a Feeling, by Boston, Kiss and Say Goodbye, by The Manhattens or If You Leave Me Now, by Chicago. But you could bring me to my knees with Beth, by Kiss. Just please, do NOT attempt to Shake Your Booty, by KC & the Sunshine Band.

Nadia has the misfortune of being stuck with 1977, a very good year to graduate from high school, but not so great for song selection. I would recommend Don't Leave Me This Way, by Thelma Houston, even though Latoya performed this last year, and I never suggest do overs. So why not consider Walk This Way, by Aerosmith? That could be interesting. But there's always Fleetwood Mac. Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow) was a hit in '77. Just do NOT attempt to Light Up My Life, by Debby Boone.

Anwar gets the 1979 bowl full of titles from which to choose. But I've done all the work -- all he has to do is loosen up, let it go and have fun. Oh, and stay in tune. Anwar could do wonders with The Rose, by Bette Midler, but he could have some fun with Do Ya Think I'mSexy?, by Rod Stewart. The Commodores had a hit with Still in 1979. That's a thought. Ain't No Stoppin Us Now, by McFadden & Whitehead would be a good choice, even though it's really not good for teachers to be using ain't. But my choice? I pick Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin', by Journey. Randy always likes when the kids sing Journey. But one thing, Anwar: do NOT, under any circumstance go to the Y.M.C.A., by the Village People.

Carrie gets 1983. What a terrible year. Sorry Carrie. So you could even make a fan of me if you choose Flashdance, by Irene Cara. No? Leg warmers out? Okay. Then put on some boring 1950s dress, stand there and sing Tonight I Celebrate My Love, by Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack or Islands In The Stream, by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. You've already been annointed champion, so I don't see why you can't be two people. Okay. Duets a bad idea? How about Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by The Eurythmics? Do NOT attempt another Total Eclipse of the Heart, though, by Bonnie Tyler. Been there, done that.

Vonzell is our 1984 baby, and she's got a lot of "girl songs" from which to choose. The Pointer Sisters had hits with I'm So Excited and Jump (For My Love). Those are possibilities. But I can see Vonzell hitting the Bo Ramp with Let's Hear It For The Boy, by Denise Williams. And she's one of the few Idol contestants who I would trust with Tina Turner. How about What's Love Got To Do With It? But there is nothing that says she can't try Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, by Wham. The choices are terrific. Just do NOT call Ghostbusters, by Ray Parker, Jr.

And the baby of the group, Anthony/John Stevens, will be given the 1985 songbook. Let's slow Anthony down to ballad tempo, no snapping fingers again. Try Suddenly, by Billy Ocean or Say You, Say Me, by Lionel Ritchie. No? Okay, I'll compromise. How about Sea Of Love, by the Honeydrippers, or Walking on Sunshine, by Katrina and the Waves? And there's always John Foggerty's Centerfield. I can be centerfield... Only rule? Do NOT, under any circumstances believe that We Are The World, by a whole bunch of people calling themselves USA for Africa.

Well, so much for my fantasy. What's yours?


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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!