Wednesday, March 30, 2005

What was that disaster?

When you don't know, or recognize, a great deal of music from any one decade, it's tough to judge if you like, or dislike, the song or the performer. That was my difficulty tonight. But, overall, the show was, for the best top 10 they've ever fielded, a disappointment.

These are the early observations, without benefit of listening without watching or watching without notetaking, as always, from worst to first.

Anthony. Could you have chosen a blander song that "The Way You Look Tonight?" It seems that no matter what decade you're stuck in, all of your songs sound alike. Bottom three last week was deserved. I see you performing that song again, sooner than what you expected.

Scott. Randy was right. You were pitchy throughout the song. Again, I'm still unsure if it was you I was not liking, or the song, but it was your worst performance to date.

Anwar. At least I recognized this song, but Anwar, if you haven't realized by now that when you begin a song in your lower register that you are all over the place, you need to watch yourself on tape. I hate agreeing with Randy and Simon, but your ending, and that money note, was the only thing that saved this song.

Bo. I can't believe I'm putting my guys all at the bottom, but they deserve to be there. Bo, I love when you're rocking, but that song was terrible. I liked the innovation of walking across the judges' table, though, considering that your walk across the catwalk has been already so overused. And sucking up to Paula is not necessary, because she's going to drool whether or not you give her your hat.

Nikko. I didn't know the song, so I have little to judge it by except for the fact that the judges say it was terrific. I, personally, didn't like it, but I did like it better than many of the others.

Jessica. Who stole Jessica. Somebody swiped her and replaced her with a half black-haired lookalike, because that song was possibly the most boring I've ever heard on the Idol stage. You sang it well, or as well as one can sing a lullabye, but, somebody put out an Amber Alert, because the real Jessica really needs to be returned to the show. Pronto.

Nadia. I don't know why Simon thought Melissa Etheridge would turn people off. It's a great song, and, while you did miss a few notes here and there, your presentation more than made up for the lack of vocals. And your hair is much improved over last week.

Carrie. Okay, so I recognize Independence Day. And I know that Simon is drooling all over you. And yes, your vocals were pure asusual. And your stage presence is improving, but Simon's "it" factor and mine are obviously a lot different.

Constantine. How cool was it that, one week after paying homage to the Partridge Family, you decide to take on a song traditionally performed by female artists. I love it when you slow it down, you don't scream, you don't jump around like your butt is on fire. You really do have a decent voice. You need to let it come through.

Vonzell! I hate Whitney Houston songs performed by anyone not named Whitney. But in a night where disappointment was the word du jour, your show ending performance really was worthy of a number one placement. And, even if you had hacked throughout your song, your hair was enough for me.

I never ever want another 90s night. Ever. The 70s were far preferable.


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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!