Monday, March 14, 2005

Oh, how the fallout continues

And the rumors run rampant on message boards everywhere. Why on earth, when he was at the top of everyone's potential winners' lists, did Mario Vazquez opt out at the last minute.

Is it true that he did porn? Or did he just look at porn? Could he even spell porn?

It is true, you know, that he worked with Michael Jackson. (Still haven't figured that one out yet.) Maybe he is involved with Michael Jackson. (Something is screaming "don't think so" to me.) He is having Michael Jackson's baby. (Well, okay, this is more plausible.)

Ford commercials.

He has a contract with another recording company. He's getting a contract with another recording company. He's buying his own recording company. Can he spell recording company?

He didn't like rooming with Scott. He didn't like rooming with Anwar. He didn't like rooming with Constantine. He didn't like rooming with Bo. He didn't like rooming with Anthony. He didn't like rooming with Mikalah. Okay, I buy that. Who would like rooming with Mikalah?

He found out Tuesday's theme night was Gloria Estefan night. I just quit too.

He got his girlfriend pregnant, and he's going home to be with her through the pregnancy. And it's not Michael Jackson.

He has admitted to posing topless for an adult website. Big deal. Been there, done that.

Clairol Herbal Essence commercials.

He has admitted to an arrest for domestic violence, shoplifting and drunk driving. C'mon, a little originality here, please.

He ran out of hats. (Good one!)

Brady Bunch theme night.

He finally realized that this is American Idol, and once a finalist is committed, said finalist has sold his soul to Satan and/or Simon Fuller and will not be legally permitted to breathe independently for a period of the next seven years, to which he responded, ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

He just got the lead in the Broadway musical "Rent," and Constantine threatened to kick his ass.

He missed his mommy. (Awwwwwwwww.)

My personal favorite: He actually believed his own hype, then realized he would actually have to work for the next several months, so by leaving early and receiving all of the attention and publicity that he would get by quitting, well...

And by the way, Tuesday's theme will be "In Memory of Mario."

Vonzell will sing "Since U Been Gone."
Bo will perform "So Long."
Constantine plans "Runaway."
Nadia will be singing "Missing You."
Lindsey will be singing "Leaving on a Jet Plane."
Scott will perform "Bus Stop."
Anwar is planning "Chattanooga Choo-Choo."
Jessica is singing "Hitchin' A Ride."
Anthony will sing "Never Can Say Goodbye."
Mikalah will select something by Barbra Steisand.
Carrie will choose "Take this Job and Shove It."
And Nikko will sing "Let's Hear It For the Boy."

Should be good.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny!

4:55 PM, March 18, 2005  

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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!