Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Early observations

Well, the show ended much better than it began, but considering tonight, that's not saying a whole lot. Maybe it was the glitzy stage or the huge audience. Maybe they're missing Mario or they were feeling the nerves, but either I want things to get better or I want to go back to the semi-finals.

Nonetheless, they came, they sang, I rant. It's a Tuesday tradition.

Here, without benefit of listening without watching, or watching without taking notes, are my early observations, as always, from worst to first. (And it's going to be tough to pick one worst...)
Lindsey Cardinale. Ewww. Was that a song? Fantasia Knocked On Wood last year and knocked everyone else out. Lindsey, sweetheart, I hope you've enjoyed your stay. It's been nice knowing you.

Anthony Fedorov. Neil Sedaka is rolling in his grave. Oh. Wait a minute. Neil Sedaka isn't dead. He might be now, though. You just put a new spin on the word "yikes."

Jessica Sierra. That's a boring song. And you didn't make it any less so. And get yourself to a stylist pronto. I don't judge on appearance, unless it's an appearance you can change. Like your clothes. Jessica, get to a stylist. Now.

Nikko Smith. I liked that he went against type and attempted something besides a ballad. But the Jackson 5? We have to give him a break, considering the unexpected re-entry into the competition and the short amount of time he had to prepare, but the entire song was just a note under pitch. Nikko, stick to the ballads. Please. For me.

Mikalah Gordon. Will someone please take Son of a Preacher Man OUT of the songbook. It has been overused, overdone and oversung. This was better than her last two outings, but only because she's getting closer to the tune. By April she should find it. But that outfit was FAB!

Anwar Robinson. Oh this kills me, my husband soon to be. I hate that song with the strength of a million suns. I've only heard one person who made me want to listen to it. And it wasn't you. It was Tamyra in season one. This is another song which should be retired. Once it's been done to perfection, no one else should be allowed to attempt it, not even someone as exquisite as you, Anwar. Get off the ballads, babe. Knock us over next week. Please. For me.

Vonzell Solomon. Was that you up there!!?? You Vonzell? The one who wore those boots and hat? You were stunning, and if you had played with the camera any more, we would have had to rent a room for you. It wasn't the best vocal performance of the night, but it was your best so far.

Carrie Underwood. God help me, but Paula was right. That was possibly the safest choice in a decade of music. You performed it well, but with the wealth of country music from the 1960s, the world could have been yours. And you settled.

Constantine Maroulis. I cannot believe that in my lifetime I would put you ahead of my husband, Anwar. But you surprised me tonight. I love Blood, Sweat and Tears, and I love that song. You weren't overly flirty with the camera tonight, and you didn't tug at your jacket. You let the vocals tell the story, and still your charisma shone through. (Did I just type that?)

Scott Savol. You are looking better and better, and you're becoming more and more comfortable on stage. Your vocals were right on. I wish you had performed a less-used song, though. After all, George sang this last season, and I'm very protective of my George, but you're a close second.

Bo Bice and Nadia Turner. I'm fighting with myself over who to put here, so myself and I came to a compromise. We love you both. You both rock. But eventually people are going to think that I'm on a personal crusade for Bo, considering he lands here virtually every week. No agenda. Bo is just wonderful. And Nadia is just terrific.

And in a world full of hamburger, they're steak.

Thanks Simon. That was a great line.

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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!