and they're off...

Finally. It's taken its toll, but the final 12 hit the big stage for the end run of the sixth season. The guys and the girls share the stage, after three weeks of praising the women and dissing the men. And to help the guys along, they all get to sing the works of Diana Ross.

Oh well, that's fair. The women in this series have been singing boys' songs for years.

Diana says she wants to parent the kids, so I guess that means she'll get to spank a lot of them. And send them to their rooms without microphones.

But here they are, subject to rewatching and revising, and, as always, from worst to first.

Brandon Rogers (You Can't Hurry Love). Brandon has to start the night, which is never good, and he sounds like a kid singing to the record with a broom in his hand, complete with a lyrical brainfart in the middle. The judges tell him that as a lead vocalist, he makes a good background singer. I think they're wrong. Background singers who forget the words normally make good bartenders.

Sanjaya Malakar (Ain't No Mountain High Enough). Oh, how I was hoping that, after the zillions of times this song has been performed and the vastness of the Ross catalogue that no one would choose this. How ironically appropriate that Mr. Malakar did. Especially after his trip to the Curls R Us. And he delivers the best performance the boy has delivered so far, which puts him, for the first time, not the worst, because at least he remembered the words. The judges crucify him, which will all but assure his passage into the final 11.

Haley Scarnato (Missing You). Diana Ross tells Haley that she recorded this song upon the death of Marvin Gaye. Haley then promises to enjoy the song and have fun. Uhhh, okay. She looks very pretty in a Katharine McPhee sort of way. And she forgets the words. The girl who needs to pull Jimmy Hoffa's body out of a hat to survive forgets the words. Randy punches her in the stomach. Paula kicks her lifeless body. But Simon, who remembers her name, brings her to tears with a positive review. I'm leaning toward Simon, because despite the missed notes and missed lyrics, she is certainly not the worst of the worst so far.

Chris Richardson (The Boss). My biggest complaint with Chris is that he always sounds as though he's singing through his nose, and this was about as bad as it gets. His vocals are thin as wafers, and while he does a good job compensating with stage presence, when Simon (finally) told him his vocals were wretched, I actually applauded.

Chris Sligh (Endless Love). Of all of the 12, Chris is not the one I would have predicted for this song. And he tries to put a "contemporary" spin on it, by turning one of the loveliest melodies ever into a sort of dance tune. The assassination of this song gets six thumbs down from the judges; eight thumbs down if you count mine. (My pup has no thumbs or the total would have been ten.)

Blake Lewis (You Just Keep Me Hanging On). Blake tells Diana that he wants to send this song through the time machine, because it's, well, old. And he slows it down to about 33 rpm (young people go ask your parents...) and, essentially, destroys it. Randy reminds him that the classics are classics for a reason, Paula babbles Paulaeese and Simon slaps him on the wrist. Deservedly. TRIVIA: Every finalist [Vanessa Olivarez(2)/Leah LaBelle(3)] who has ever performed this song on the first night of finals was kicked off the next night. I think Blake may break that dubious streak.

Stephanie Edwards (Love Hangover). Not much to say about Stephanie's performance that the judges didn't say. It was bland, a tease with the intro and no payback with the good stuff, as Simon and Paula pointed out. A little bobble with the lyrics as Randy reminded everyone. In a word: unmemorable. And that's going to be her undoing. Just not tomorrow.

Gina Glocksen (Love Child). Miss Ross reminds Gina that this song has tons of words (which is probably why I still can't sing with it on the radio) and that it's important that she not mush them up. She doesn't mush them up, but it's almost as if I could watch her mind wheels cranking as she worked hard to remember the lyrics. Disappointing. The judges give her tepid reviews, rightfully so, even though I'm still trying to figure out how Paula describes this song as a "feel good" one.

Phil Stacey (I'm Gonna Make You Love Me). Phil promises to actually start a song decently. And, by golly, he does! And he delivers his best vocal performance since the first week of the semi-finals. Randy and Paula call the performance boring. Simon says it wasn't great, but it wasn't awful. I say it just may have bought him more weeks than I thought.

Melinda Doolittle (Home). Melinda says she's an old-school Motown girl. So she chooses to sing a Broadway number. The crowd goes nuts and Melinda sheds tears, because she's never heard a reaction like that for her before. And she makes Paula cry already. Randy calls it hawt, even though he says it's not his favorite Melinda performance. Simon gives her props for turning a boring song into something spectacular.

LaKisha Jones (God Bless the Child). We learn that LaKisha prefers to go by KiKi. Okay then. KiKi it is. And after that performance, she can call herself Madame Look At Me I Own This Stage and the Crew that Built It if she wants. Simon tells her that she and Melinda are in one league; the others are, well, in the playoffs for the remaining spots. Gee Simon. Tell us something we don't already know.

Jordin Sparks (If We Hold On Together). Wow. I knew this girl could blow the walls of this joint, but wow. No wonder she got the sweet anchor spot. Randy tells her it's now a three-girl race. It's too early to call that, but Jordin has, with that performance, just thrown her hat into the serious ring. Wow.

Now the tough stuff, that really isn't as tough as it has been in the past.

Who I want: Brandon, Sanjaya, Haley (Sanjaya)
Who should: Brandon, Sanjaya, Haley (Sanjaya)
Who will: Brandon, Haley, Stephanie (Bye, bye Brandon)

So...who's on your short list?