Thursday, March 08, 2007

and the 12 stand alone: a SIMULBLOG!...

This is it, the last of the semi-finals, when we wave goodbye to four kids whose names will become Idol trivia in about two weeks. What's left will be the last 12 standing, all of whom will appear on the Idol 6 compilation CD and ten of whom will tour the country this summer with a giant Pop Tart.

Season four champ Carrie Underwood is supposed to stop by, and we're finally going to learn the big SURPRISE that they've been teasing us about for days. (Most sources confirm that it has something to do with the show, Africa and Bono, and all will be revealed about 2/3rds of the way through, according to Ken Warwick.)

And, as usual, this is a SIMULBLOG, where I'm writing as the action unfolds, complete with typos and nonsensical sentences, with a publish at every stop, so if you're a comma freak, or you live in the West and want to be SHOCKED at the result, they're playing Qwerty on Pogo, cause this is not the place to be.

Because THIS is American Idol! And people are gonna buy the farm. And quite probably, other people are gonna go apocalyptic. So fasten your seatbelts.

THIS could be a classic!

YAY! We start with a group sing and they're all Stuck in the Middle (With You). It's very appropriate that the girls are in the middle of two of the guys, singing clowns to the left, jokers to the right. Whoever came up with that one was brilliant. Too bad the performance rated about a 9 on the suck-o-meter.

Ryan runs down the agenda, points to the urinal seats and then to the judges, applauding the 37 million votes that poured in. We get to spend far too much time reflecting over the highlights of the past two nights.

----CAUTION: SPOILERS----

----FIRST ASSASSINATION ----

Blake Lewis and LaKisha Jones are sent to sit in two of the urinal seats. And told they'll work with Miss (Diana) Ross next week. I don't know if that's a win or not. But they're in the finals.

Chris Sligh is told he's waiting until after the break, and 67 commercials later, he's told what we knew anyway, that he's got a seat next to Blake.

Jordan Sparks is told how pretty she is. She's told to sit at the urinals with the others. YAY!

Phil Stacey is wearing a hat again. He says he's nervous. And he's told to sit by Jordin. He's astonished. He must have read my blog.

Jared Cotter stands middle stage, with the look of resignation. He's given a gentle kick in the rear. And Paula gives him the Paula Pep Talk. He gets to sing his own funeral song as we all wonder if Sundance is sobbing again...

----END ASSASSINATION #1----

Random observation: Gee whiz, these Idol Challenge questions are tuff...

----ASSASSINATION #2----

Melinda Doolittle and Brandon Rogers are both sent to join the good people. Hugs for everybody!

Gina Glocksen and Chris Richardson are called to the eyeball stage, and they're holding hands. They give big hugs when they're sent to join the urinal gang.

----We interrupt this assassination for an important song----

We're treated to a montage of Miss Underwood, just in case we weren't watching that season or in case we've forgotten. She takes to the stage, looking quite pretty. And she sings.

----ASSASSINATION #2 CONCLUSION ----

Antonella Barba and Stephanie Edwards are summoned. And Antonella is mercifully executed. The sound you just heard was a nation cheering. Ryan asks her the typical "what will you remember questions, and she tries to get through her goodbye song. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye Antonella!!

----END ASSASSINATION #2----

----ASSASSINATION #3----

Haley Scarnato and Sabrina Sloan are called to the stage, and both of them are crying. Haley stays; Sabrina is outta here. The judges are SHOCKED! So is Sabrina. Sundance is crying. Randy says America got it wrong. Note to Randy: America do not take kindly to Simon getting crappy with the kids sometimes. When will those judges learn?

Sabrina sings her swan song. I liked her. So long Sabrina!

----END ASSASSINATION #3----

Ryan pats the show on the back for its 200th episode, and he says the show wants to "give something back." The April 24/25 final six show will be huge, with sponsors donating money per vote to fight the war on poverty, both in Africa and at home. The results show will be a mini-finale of sorts, featuring a special Quincy Jones-written song for the six, Pink, Bono, Gwen Stefani and others. Well, that's something to look forward to.

----ASSASSINATION #4----

It's down to Sanjaya Malakar and Sundance Head. After a two-hour commercial break, Ryan gives them their reviews from last night and sends Sundance home. The sound you just heard was the sound of Hello Kitty voters screaming.

----END ASSASSINATIONS----

----BEGINNING OF OUTRAGE----

Okay. Now vent.

Labels:

36 Comments:

Anonymous gavintiegirl said...

Let me be the first to say that I am shocked!!! Haley and Sanjaya? Really? This show sucks!

Goodbye Sabrina. I am sorry to see you go. Jared and Sundance should still be there.

9:02 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know why everyone was surprised about Sundance; he got bad reviews Tuesday and has actually kind of sucked the whole time. But Jared didn't deserve to be cut; neither did Sabrina. And I was very surprised about Antonella, because she had a lot of voter support -- seems like it might have been fixed to get rid of her.

~betsy

9:06 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

Let me be the second to say, I am stunned!!! It's not like Sundance is going to be the next American Idol, but God knows he's better than Sanjaya at every turn, voice personality, potential, everything.
I think Dave was right about Sabrina and Stephanie splitting the vote and it wound up sending one home. While I like Haley, she simply isn't as good as Sabrina. The only saving grace of tonight's show was Antonella's mercy killing.

9:07 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, Sundance got bad reviews, but compared to Sanjaya, no, Sanjaya did NOT deserve to stay.
I'm not saying I was surprised that Sundance was in the bottom...but to kick him off compared to Sanjaya...THAT'S the shocker.

9:09 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This week Antonella, can we hope that Sanjaya will be history next week? Or do you really think this kid can sing Diana Ross....without everyone except the Hello Kitty crew (who never heard of Ms. Ross) breaking into hysterial laughter,

9:10 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous gavintiegirl said...

What the hell just happened?

The good: Antonella is gone. Breath a collective sigh of relief.

The bad: Sabrina was booted only to leave Haley "The Love Boat lounge singer girl". Sabrina is fabulous and America got that one wrong for sure.

The ugly: Sanjaya beat out both Jared Cotter and Sundance Head.
America got this one wrong as well.

In case America needs to be schooled on American Idol. American Idol is a singing competition. It is not solely a popularity contest where the people that are chosen to advance have no shred of vocal ability. Hence, why is Sanjaya still around. It's wrong and everyone knows it.

If I had one ounce of will power I would stop watching this show, but I don't and I can't miss the week with Gwen Stefani, so I am in it for the long haul. Sanjaya and "The Love Boat lounge singer girl" and all.

I am going to pull my throat out of my stomach and reclaim my family now. Peace

9:20 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger Dave said...

I think Haley is not as bad as everyone says, but she doesn't have a shot at winning. I'd also say that Antonella was better tonight than she was on Wednesday night.

We shouldn't be surprised that Sanjaya is advancing at the expense of someone who deserves to go one. After all, if you've watched the show for more than one season, you know that inferior singers advance deep into the finals based on voter support (Kevin, Scott, John Stevens, Anthony) rather than their talent.

9:21 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger jennifer said...

Sanjaya has already been tagged the new Vote for the Worst pick. Don't be surprised if it's enough to get him into the top 10 - and the tour. Just think of the tweeners that will want tickets to the tour...

9:22 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YAY!!!! Antonella is gone. I am also glad Jared is gone - he was cheese, Louise!! And I didn't like his voice either. I'm also glad Sundance is gone. Didn't like him for more reasons than his voice. But Sabrina???? What are we doing, America????? I'll miss her. I don't care about Sanjaya staying - I have faith the better guys will win out and Sanjaya will be gone soon.

9:38 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

OK parents, here's the deal...on Thursday nights confiscate your pre-teens cell phones and disable their Dial Idol software. That will put an end to the Sanjaya charade.

9:56 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger Terry Lynn said...

This makes me sick. That stupid vftw is ruining the show. Sundance may not deserve to win over Melinda or LaKisha..... but please Sanjaya? And Hayley or whatever her name was, was singing her pageant talent show audition song. Blecch. Disgusting.

10:07 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sanjaya isn't only getting the Hello Kitty group vote, there's the "vote for the worse" group, and in Sanjaya's case a lot of Michael Jackson fans probably love him too. Dori

10:27 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually the Hello Kitty's I know in the family, and friends all love Blake. They think Sanjaya is YUCKY, that's their word not mine. I just call him creepy. lol They could just be a little more sophisticated then most 12 year old. Dori

10:45 PM, March 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not shocked Sanjaya made it, expected as much. Definitely shocked we don't have to put up with more Antonella. A little surprised Haley survived, I was expecting her and Antonella to swap places. Sabrina was expected, as I figured, of the 5 black or mixed girls, Melinda, Lakisha and Jordon seemed to stand out a little, and Stephanie and Sabrina were getting lost in the crowd. They sing well, but not memorably. Since we have a track record of crappy singers getting into the top12, I suspected those 2 would split the last spot. I agree she should be in, but I'm not shocked she isn't. I just hope Haley can bring something new to show she deserved the chance.

So, which 2 need to go before the top 10? hmmm Sanjaya obviously, but whom next? Haley? Phil?

JJ

11:12 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger Laura said...

Sanjaya? Fo'Rizzle? Haley? Seriously? I kind of expected the Sanjaya thing, but not at the expense of Sundance. And I was prepared for the Sabrina execution (completely undeserved), but for Haley?

Well, maybe since we all know who is going to win the whole shabang anyway, it doesn't really matter :) But I'll be watching every second nonetheless!

11:25 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger Chipperprime said...

So what if VFTW is behind Sanjaya? It didn't do anything for Antonella or Sundance.

I'll miss Antonella.

I'll miss Sabrina too.

The prettiest ones always get eliminated early

11:45 PM, March 08, 2007  
Blogger Jenany said...

My sentiments are pretty much the same as everyone else's. I was beyond shocked when Sabrina got the boot in deference to Haley, a.k.a. at our house as "the church singer". Don't get me wrong, she has a nice voice but she doesn't hold a candle to Sabrina in the talent category.

After Haley got a reprieve, I was jaded. I told my hubby that Sanjaya would probably get to stay as well. (I can't publish the name we've given HIM here , but it rhymes with a female body part.) Apparently, he is the Kevin Covais of this season. Instead of Chicken Little, we get M.J.J. (Michael Jackson, Jr.).

Jared's execution really didn't surprise me, nor did it bother me. I was kind of indifferent with regards to him. I was shocked, however, that Phil got to stay. As much as I like him, he needs to go home. Doesn't he have a brand new baby to go tend to?

As most here have already stated tonight, Barbarella (as we affectionately refer to her around here) got the boot, and not a moment too soon. She really needs to go back to her violin playing ... or anything else that doesn't require the use of her mouth. (sorry, couldn't resist)

I'm going to bed now - I'm shell shocked after tonight's show.

12:03 AM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger Chipperprime said...

Just before I turn in tonight, I had a thought about Simon and Ryan's trip to "Africa":

Why weren't they more specific about where they were in the vignette? Africa is huge, with all sorts of nations and countries. Were they in Libya? Ethiopia? Malawi? Burundi? Liberia? Kenya? Algeria? South Africa?

"We want to help poor people in Africa and in the US." Choose one.

It is like the "Hooray for Everything" celebration on "The Simpsons"

12:44 AM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank goodness Sundance is gone. What a turd.

1:26 AM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

Well, some good and some bad.

Good: Antonella is gone! Thank you, THANK YOU!!

Bad: Sanjaya made it to the top 12.

Good: Sundance is gone.

Bad: Sabrina...WHAT?! America got that one WAY wrong! I'll miss her.

But the good news is that Sanjaya won't last much longer. Neither will Haley.

My predictions for the next 11 eliminations, from first to last:

Phil
Haley
Sanjaya
Brandon
Stephanie
Chris R.
Jordin
Blake
Gina
Chris S.
Lakisha
Melinda aka AI 6!

5:20 AM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

Jr, re: "..confiscate your pre-teens cell phones and disable their Dial Idol software."

LOL! It makes me wish I had a teenager just to do exactly that!! Good one. ;)

5:24 AM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger Nelle said...

I am still in shock that Sundance got termed but honestly that fauxhawk just did not work. I loved Jr's comment:
Jr, re: "..confiscate your pre-teens cell phones and disable their Dial Idol software."
Perhaps Idol should enforce the legal voting age. I won't even get started about Sanjaya but now janany has me wondering what he's called in her house and if it has anything to do with the Seinfeld episode where the name rhymed with a female body part.

10:16 AM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous gavintiegirl said...

Over at USA Today's Idol Chatter, Ken Barnes is requesting that you send in your predictions in the order in which the 12 finalist will finish (for the first out) to 1 (the eventual winner). You can submit this as a comment. There are some interesting posts. Here was mine:

The whole idea of doing this before we hear their performances, is what is wrong with America. American Idol is a weekly singing competition and who should get voted off each week should be decided each week after hearing and seeing their performances. To decide now who is going to get voted off and in what order is lowering it to a popularity contest. Sometimes a good singer whom you think will win, may have a bad week and that could cost them the ability to go on. But because I am a junkie, here are my picks based on what I have heard so far and each contestants popularity:

12.Haley
11.Brandon
10.Phil
9.Sanjaya
8.Stephanie
7.Jordin
6.Gina
5.Chris R
4.Chris S
3.Lakisha
2.Blake
1.Melinda

2:51 PM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You mean to tell me that I gotta listen to Sanjaya (aka, hula-dude, M.J.J., and a name that "rhymes with a female body part") sing again next week? What the.......

I can't take it. Really. I can't keep replacing my television! We can send people to the moon, but we can't send this guy home? Somebody do something.
J~

3:28 PM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Chris Sligh is good but Lakisha is going to win. I liked Sundance but I couldn`t understand what he was singing that is why he is gone.

4:46 PM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

OK, as long as we're picking final 12 in order of elimination, here goes;

12. Phil Stacy
11. Sanjaya
10. Brandon
9. Haley
8. Chris R.
7. Gina
6. Blake
5. Chris S.
4. Jordin
3. Stephanie
2. Lakisha
1. Melinda

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it...well, until next week anyway.

9:38 PM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

Now, for my Diana Ross selectons;
Sanjaya - Baby Love (Perfect choice from Jennifer)
Haley - I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
Brandon - Stoned Love
Gina - Love Child
Chris R. - The Happening
Chris S. - You Keep Me Hangin' On
Blake - Come See About Me
Melinda - I'm Coming Out
Lakisha - Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Phil - Love is Here and Now You're Gone
Jordin - Endless Love

9:55 PM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

Oh yeah,
Stephanie - I Hear a Symphony

9:57 PM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree that Sanjaya isn't very good, but when you say "America chose wrong" I have a problem with that. Did you vote? And if you did, did you ever consider that pre teens are a part of America and they do deserve the right to vote for a pop artist? they're the one's who are going to take their allowances and buy the c.d.'s. High School Musical was the number one cd last year because of them. That fact alone should give them more of a right to vote than you. And if you didn't vote, you have no right whatsoever to comment on who went home.

9:57 PM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger AlbGlinka said...

OMG Sanjaya is soooooooooooo hella-cute!!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

9:58 PM, March 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Church of the painful truth time.
A few observations:

Vote for the worst has been overrated since season 4 (when they started). They have not been effective at all especially in the late rounds. They supported Antonella and Sundance and where are they? Sanjaya will be leaving soon, VFTW or not. VFTW are legends in their own minds.

Sabrina was a generic Whitney/EnVogue wannabe. We have had dozens like her come and go over the seasons and will have dozens more just like her just as good/bad. Stephanie is the same and will be gone soon. Generics never win because they can't stand out.

Haley will stay for a few weeks as the guys suck royally. Plus, she's looking more like McPhee each week and if she keeps looking like her, she'll get people to forget she doesn't sound like her.

Look for the next 4 executions to be guys: Phil, Brandon, Sanjaya and Chris R. in that order, which means, if you see the tour, you will be subjected to the violation of the Geneva Convention known as the Singing Sanjaya Torture. Water boarding at Gitmo would be preferable to that.

Blake will be gone before week 6 as his beat box garbage will get old. Remeber Daughtry from last year did only one style and it cost him even though he was the best singer last year and probably one of the 3 best in all of Idol. The same will happen to Blake and he's not nearly as good as Daughtry. If he can't get out of that beat box crud, he'll get old fast.

Sundance sucked. Royally. Yes, he was better than Phil, Sanjaya or Brandon, but dang, 2 weeks ago you could have counted the notes he hit in tune on one hand and had 4 fingers and a thumb left over. he should have lost that stupid beard as well. He looked like a wrestler from the NWA not a singer and unfortunately, that matters in Idol to an extent.

Of all the people who got robbed, Jared was the biggest. He could sing decently and should have made it, but that's AI.

As happens every year, one of the "chosen winners" always gets knocked off somewhere between week 4-6. I can't wait to see if it's Melinda or LaKisha. Those 2 are incredible.

Other than Melinda and LaKisha, none of these 12 would have survived past #7 last year. Taylor, Elliot, McPhee, Daughtry, Paris, Pickler would have beaten them. I really miss last years group.

AI is the best. It allows know nothing morons like me to spout and feel important. :) Have a great weekend!

11:10 PM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger jennifer said...

We'll have a boot order entry later.

Everyone with a phone (or four) has as much right to vote as many times as they can, because those are the rules. But if people want to blame a particular bloc (tweeners, VFTW, grannies, etc) they have that right too. At least they have that right here, whether they vote or not. That's part of the fun of this show, coming up with ideas how to save the ones we like/eliminate the ones we don't.

ALBERT!! I've missed you!! He is hella cute! XO

7:15 AM, March 10, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, everyone is giving their two cents on the final 12. This is mine. This is the way I'd like it to go, but hey this is AI.

12. Sanjaya
11. Phil
10. Haley
9. Brandon
8. Chris R.
7. Blake
6. Chris S.
5. Gina
4. Stephanie
3. Jordin
2. Lakisha
1. Melinda

Like I said this is American Idol "anything can happen". Dori

12:14 PM, March 10, 2007  
Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

lol jenany...

"...it rhymes with a female body part"

Mulva?!

9:30 PM, March 10, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sangina?

1:52 AM, March 13, 2007  
Anonymous ChrisROCKS said...

Good analysis, Jennifer. I made my predictions in the last post, but I think you just may be right about the order. Or at least closer than I am to getting it right. I'm forever finding myself shocked and outraged by certain results. After Chris Daughtry got booted so that the McPhee girl could go through, I vowed never to care that much again. So, I don't really care what the order is as long as Melinda wins. And she will. SHE WILL!!!! grrr... I'm getting worked up again. Anyway, here's my order of execution:

Phil
Haley
Sanjaya
Brandon
Stephanie
Chris R.
Jordin
Blake
Gina
Chris S.
Lakisha
Melinda aka AI 6!

3:58 PM, March 13, 2007  

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