50s minus one equals 10...

We're cutting the field to ten tonight, the ten who will tour the states this summer. And to do that we're gonna have to sentence one of the kids to a plane ticket home, not to be seen again until it's time for the annual Brady Bunch number in May.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a simulblog, filled with misspellings and general grammatical ickiness, because it's live, blogging as it's happening, with publishing as soon as the first of the bottom feeders gets pulled off the sofa. So, if you don't want to be spoiled, you might want to look away.

Ryan says 35 gazillion votes were called in last night. We get a video reminder of last night's performances, as usual, and we get to revisit Poola's unusual behavior. About five minutes fewer in the retrospectives and we could get a crappy group number since they've seemed to chuck them in place of celebrity appearances. And, apparently, Barry Manilow is in the house.

About 10 fewer commercials and we would have time for the entire freakin' summer tour.

But the kids have got the beat in the cheesy Ford commercial. Now THAT was a commercial, complete with Kevin "the Love Machine" buried in the sand.

Manilow takes the stage, gushing about the kids. He really is a true gentleman. And he's performing Love is a Many Splendored Thing. What a glorious song.

HEY! It's Bobby "Copacabana" Bennett, standing, doing the wave in his Manilow worship. Ahh. That's nice. The kids have seen him and they're doing the Bobby love. Well, okay, they're laughing. And Bobby gets to go on stage to hug his man. Ahhh. I like this show.

But I'll like it better after the break.

And so the kids are lined up like little soldiers on the sofa of death. Idea: maybe one night they can put them in dunk tanks, and, instead of a boring "you're safe," Ryan can just hit the target, dunking their butts. We gotta liven up this show, after all. Predictability gets old.

Ace is first, since he was last last night, and he's safe. Mandisa is safe. Elliott is safe. Thank you America. Kellie wants to know what "ballsy" means. But she's safe anyway. Chris is okay.

Paris will continue and so will Katharine. And since Ryan's gone to Taylor, Kevin, Lisa and Bucky are the bottom dwellers.

And it's after the break.

Lisa escapes once more, getting sent back to the couch.

Paula babbles about how both Bucky and Kevin can star alongside Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls and little Kevin is told he's going home. He gets a big hug from Bucky and then from Ryan. We see his funeral tape, again to the Bad Day song, and he is much cuter now than he was during the audition.

He says he loves America and gets to sing his swan song.

Dang. The show just ain't gonna be quite as cute from here on in.


tag: american idol