auditions: shooting the sheriff...

What really can be said about these audition episodes? They're always a frenetic hodgepodge of bad mixed with decent, mixed with good, mixed with embarrassing. And Chicago was no different. But maybe a few names, a few faces, a few voices may have emerged from the abyss to be seen again sometime next month.

Who knows. And who knows what/who we didn't see.

It's a sad thing when the highlight of the entire episode takes place within the first few minutes . Looks like we have a couple of performers to look forward to, but it won't on this episode, as we are given a sneak peek at (presumably Kellie Pickler) whose daddy is in prison (whoa, talk about a back story!) but belts out Kelly Clarkson almost as good as Kelly Clarkson and a Bo Bice wannabe (presumably Chris Daughtry) rocking out The Letter.

I'm devastated, though, that apparently we'll not see this year's wrong way Sally. I would have enjoyed watching "I'm going up the down escalator" girl try to find her way through Hollywood.

Were all of the twin applicants shuttled to Chicago last summer? Three sets? And all three getting the golden slip? (Sorry...just had a Roman Brothers flashback. Had to take a break.) The Brittenum Brothers, Terrell and Derrell, have promise, but the 16-year-old Simmons kids are going to get shredded. And what is the deal with the "buy one/take the other free" deal with the cornfield sisters? Although, after seeing their corn maze tribute to the Chicago Bears, I am not going to complain about both of them getting a pass.

After all, the talent was thin, obviously, since Randy and Paula apparently saw nothing wrong in sticking it to Simon by sending through David Hoover and all the animals in his head. I really hope there was more to his audition, the part that we didn't see, that gave them reason to do that. They've pulled stunt casting before (Scootergirl, anyone?), but at least those novelty acts had an inkling of potential.

Loved Mandisa "I don't need no second name", but really don't want to hear any more comparisons of Frenchie or any more snarky weight jabs. (She's good, but she ain't no Frenchie.) Liked the dental assistant rocker Gina Glockson, but I still want all Celine Dion songs banned from the show, along with all songs by Whitney not sung by someone named Whitney.

David Radford has some potential, if he can, indeed, avoid a case of John Stevensitis, or the inability to adapt to any musical style beyond the Buble crooner mode. (But if he's going to sing Buble's rendition of a well-known Sinatra tune, then say so. Otherwise, sing the Sinatra version.)

And lesson #1. When somebody says he's gonna sing the chorus of [fill in the blank], take him at his word. Because, evidentially the chorus is all he knows.

Oy.

I hope the premiere is not indicative of things to come. Otherwise it's gonna be a loooong season.


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american idol