Wednesday, January 25, 2006

auditions: paris in april...

As audition episodes go, the Greensboro, N.C. one was, at least, entertaining. Simon's birthday was celebrated between clips of good voices, decent voices, faux firemen, dummies and a silver tube top.

We finally got to see Kellie Pickler at length, the girl with the daddy in prison whose been popping up in promos for months. She belts out Since U Been Gone, followed by Broken Wing, gets her ticket and crumbles in a heap of melted mascara. Yep, we're gonna see that for a long time. As we will see Kellie for a long time.

And we get a dose of Paris Bennett, also bound for the top 24, the granddaughter of Grammy-winning Sounds of Blackness lead singer Ann Nesby who speaks kinda like a chipmunk but sings like a swan. (Hell, I have no idea if that would be good or bad, but it sounded nice.) If this girl doesn't hit the finals stage, something somewhere is definitely wrong.

There was the obligatory "sweep Paula off her feet and get a Hollywood pass" moment, with Steven David, who came dressed in military attire and wife. While the judges gave him a lukewarm reception to go with his yellow paper, I actually found him somewhat amusing in a greasy Corey Clark sort of way. But I don't think I'll be seeing him on any Tuesdays in March.

I was intrigued by Kendra Winston, who's lived in 832 foster homes, had a bad marriage, has three kids but still comes under the age cap. She delivered a decent version of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," but I don't know if she's good enough to make it through to the semi-finals. And I'm holding out major hope for Tyra Schwartz, who impressed me with "In the Still of the Night."

Yeah we had to endure the Michael Jackson imitators, the butchering of "Bridge over Troubled Water," and a ventriloquist's dummy which had more talent than his non-wooden partner. (Although watching Paula and Randy's dumbfoundedness and Simon's glee at Marcus, who, after being cut at the knees by the judges, objected on the grounds that he had studied the Randy & Paula DVD was priceless.)

And then there was the overkill of Rhonetta, a Jerry Springer show reject, whom the producers decided to feature at every commercial break, showing off her "girls" and her colorful vocabulary, most of which consisted on mono-syllabic words hidden by American Idol icons. How dare they compare this person to Keith and William Hung? Keith and Hung were, at least, entertaining. Silver tube top girl was, in a Rhonetta word: stoopid.

Three auditions down; four to go. Please let them go quickly.

Tonight: San Francisco. I wonder how many hearts the producers will remind us, have been left there.

tagged: american idol


Blogger ChasingMoksha said...

Rhonetta was a disgrace. I don't even know how I got sucked into watching, maybe because of your blog.

Did you read this morning on AOL headlines how AI are mean to fat people. LOL! Next we will see Al Sharpton on up in there crying how Rhonetta throat was dry and Paula wanted her to drink from her nasty bubbly water cup. LMAO!

What a disgrace she was. Brain cells and memory cells that I can never get back.

12:06 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Nelle said...

I really liked Paris Bennet, Kendra and Tyra. Kellie was ok but the build up was too much. Kendra and Paris both blew me away. Hope tonight there is someone as good! I am ready to snuggle up with cocoa and hope to have some entertainment.

6:46 PM, January 25, 2006  
Anonymous Meg said...

I hate to say it but I did not watch Idol this week..I was too busy studying my brains out for my exams.

Im getting fed up with the adutions...bring on the REAL stuff!

4:10 PM, January 27, 2006  

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Thanks Rob for the awesome image!