The Woes and the Prose of an American Idol Junkie

i'm taking the season off...

2010-03-16T13:54:00.002-04:00

I think it's become obvious that I'm going to put this blog on hiatus for season nine. There are many reasons I need a break from blogging this show, not the least of which is that I've been doing it since season three, and I've pretty much just run out of things to say.

I want to thank those of you who have stopped by every single week of every single season that I've been here. I probably would have retired after season five if it hadn't been for the faithful and fun people that I've gotten to know through this blog. Comments have been disabled for awhile because I couldn't keep up with the spam, and they will continue to be off.

I don't know how much I will watch of this season, but I do know that I'll be hanging out at Dave's blog because he is, after all, the High Lord and an excellent critic, writer and friend. So I really hope you will join me there.

Thanks again for your loyalty and your friendship. I hope this season is entertaining, filled with good talent, interesting people and shocking eliminations, because of course the best thing about this show is watching people virtually implode when their favorite falls in fourth!

it's all come down to this: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-05-20T19:46:00.015-04:00

Five months in the making. We've survived auditions, bad performances, Tatiana, too many judges, too many commercials, not enough minutes in an hour, food fights, heartbreak and the crappy coronation song.

Somebody's gonna get a confetti shower at the end of two hours, and the rest of us get to reclaim our Tuesday nights, breathing a sigh of relief that the madness takes a hiatus until next year.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is the finale extravaganza, where it takes two hours plus to crown a champ and cheese is at a premium. And we wouldn't miss it for the world.

Remember, this is a simulblog, so if you want to wait until the show airs where you are, now's the time to go research the works of Picasso, or something, because the show is about to start!
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Kris and Adam are dressed in white, naturally, as the show starts. Just under 100 million votes were phoned in last night. The first order of business is to take a humorous look back at the judges over the course of the season.

Kris and Adam are introduced, arriving center stage to a standing ovation. As usual the sound guy is asleep in the booth, and neither of their microphones work. Mikalah Gordon is in Conway at Kris' hometown celebration. (Conway may never recover.) Carly Smithson is stationed in San Diego with Adam's hometown fans.

We get our first cheesy group number, with the whole group performing So What. Yes, they are all dressed in white. Can't tell if they're lip synching, but Scott is pulling off some rad dance moves. I love these group numbers, and aside from a clunker of a solo from Jasmine, it was very well done.
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David Cook takes the stage drenched in green light. He's performing Permanent, in memory of his brother Adam. It's one of the best songs on his CD. (Itunes downloads of this song after tonight will benefit cancer research.) He is such a classy guy.

Oh dear. They're bringing back the Golden Idol Awards. The first award goes to the best (worst) male auditioners. I didn't miss these awards last year. Now I know why. Normund Gentle wins the award, naturally, and he gives us the show we knew he would.

Time for the first duet: Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah.
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Anoop opens the show after the commercial break, joined by Alexis, who introduces Jason Mraz for an enjoyable trio, ultimately assisted by the rest of the idols.

The Kris fans applaud as we watch his journey throughout the season. Kris then takes the stage with Keith Urban. (Note to self: download this.)
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Time for the girls to take the stage. Allison introduces Fergie and the girls serve as window dressing for Big Girls Don't Cry. The Black Eyed Peas then join her while Megan does some scary gyrational dance in the aisle.

Back to the Golden Idols. This time it's Best Attitude. And time for Bikini Girl, who, naturally, accepts her award wearing a swimsuit. She has had some enhancements in the last 10 months. And yes, she sings, joined mid-song by a bikini-clad Kara, who shows her how it's done. This is about the only time all season I've enjoyed Kara.
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Allison takes the stage with Cyndi Lauper with Time After Time. Awesome.

Ryan chats up Kris' parents. All of the parents this year have been so cool. Ryan finds the Lamberts. Mom Lambert says both of the boys are winners. How true cool mom.

Danny's turn. He's paired with Lionel Ritchie and sings Hello seated on the big staircase, before introducing his partner. Nice pairing. Good performance.
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Ryan asks the Lambert fans to applaud as Adam's journey reel begins. Adam then takes the stage to sing Beth, proving the rumor of a KISS duet correct. Awesome-ness.

Shaping up to be the best. finale. ever.
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Carlos Santana brings us back from commercial. Matt joins him with Black Magic Woman. The rest of the idols show up, including the two guys, because they're Smooth.

I always like the last Ford video when it's a retrospective of the past videos. This one was good. And Kradam sing well together.

David Cook presents the guys with their new car keys on video rather than on stage.

Megan and Michael are joining Steve Martin and his banjo on stage. I think this is good time for me to visit the fridge.
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The guys are all dressed in suits to set up Rod Stewart, who sings Maggie May.

The last Golden Idol award (thankfully) highlights the worst of the female auditioners, which means it's time for Tatiana!! By the look on Ruben Studdard's face, I don't think he watched the early part of this season. The joke is clearly lost on him.
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And for the traditional finalists' duet, Kris and Adam front QUEEN with We Are the Champions. Oh hells yeah! Freaking Awesome!
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Finally the time has arrived. The guys are standing with Ryan center stage. Simon tells both of them, basically, that they're swell.

The result bringer-in dude shows up and ensures that Danny Gokey's name is not in it. (Okay I made that part up, but what he said was boring.)

The lights are dimmed. The winner of American Idol, 2009 is...

Kris Allen.

He gets the winners trophy. And he doesn't know what to say. Poor Kris, the winner, has to sing the crappy coronation song. Adam, the runner-up will get to record a kick-ass first single.

Good show.

The confetti falls as the idols join Kris behind the judges table.

Another year ends. See ya later.

kris & adam: conquering earthquakes, mountains, famine, plague...

2009-05-20T07:34:00.003-04:00

I have this image in my head of the events following Carrie Underwood's closing of the show last night.

Here's what I think happened:

Kris, after greeting the judges and kissing his wife, immediately bolted for the men's room to place approximately 562 "vote" text messages for Adam. Adam, in the meantime, not wanting to be suspected of sabotage, simply locked the door of his dressing room, quickly hitting redial 832 times on the "02" number for Kris.

Yeah. That's the way it went down, I'm sure.

After all, winning this season's American Idol means the poor slob has to sing that steaming pile of crap song that should have never seen the light of day, much less be foisted on two nice guys who never did anything to anybody.

Leave it to Kara, who's messed with this show all season, to leave the final performance show with a stench so bad I woke up this morning still smelling it.

Was No Boundaries really that bad? I had to loop Inside My Heaven to get the sound out.

The composer of season four's crappy coronation song should send Kara and her cohorts a thank you gift.

I hope they seriously consider switching the first single to something else. Anything else.

On the positive side, both Adam and Kris tried to make the best of a bad situation, and, in fairness, the song was ill-suited for both of their voices, so that was a draw, as was most of the evening with Kris slam-dunking his first selection, the reprise of Ain't No Sunshine, performed infintely better than its first incarnation, and Adam absolutely killing on Simon Fuller's selection, the Sam Cooke classic Change is Gonna Come.

I'm going to end the season by foregoing my worst to first list, because the original song was so bad it's unfair to critique either guy's interpretation of it. The other four performances were first rate, but first rate in an Adam sort of way and top notch in a Kris sort of way.

These two have such opposite styles, and both of masters of their styles, that comparing them to each other is the whole apples and oranges experiment.

This really will come down to a hair's difference, if dialidol.com is any indication. (And, if you'll recall, last season dialidol not only predicted a Cook win, but a Cook landslide by a nearly-precise number.)

What a fitting final performance episode. I said I didn't care who wins, and I still mean that. Adam will be a star regardless of tonight's result, and he won't be burdened by mountains, earthquakes, hurricanes and locusts. Kris will also find success, however tonight plays out.

If I had to choose the one who should win, of course it would be Adam. That young man has brought a vitality to this dinosaur of a show that has helped it thrive despite all of the twists and changes the new production staff has wrought this season. He has shown a level of creativity and originality throughout the season that few, if any, previously contestants have done, and all the while never missing a single note. (Okay, I'll just pretend Ring of Fire never happened, even though it was pitch perfect.) He has earned the title, and I'd like to think that voters voted last night based on a body of work, rather than a one-night stand, and for the man, not against him.

But things don't work that way.

So who will win? I don't have a clue.

Do you?

See you tonight for the two-hour finish...

adam and kris steal the stage...

2009-05-19T18:11:00.005-04:00

Well, it's finally here. Kris and Adam. Adam and Kris.

It's been a long road, but it's almost over.

The two take to the Nokia stage tonight to perform three songs: a Simon Fuller choice, their own favorite from the season (Mad World and Ain't No Sunshine), and the crappy coronation song (a Kara masterpiece). Kris won last week's coin toss, and has elected to close the show. Hopefully the judges will keep their comments fair and just let the voters decide for themselves.

Also, as is traditional the night before the finale, Carrie Underwood will be on hand to sing the funeral song we've come to know all season as we watch the show-ending montage of Kris' and Adam's journeys to this final night.

There are spoilers running amok about tomorrow night's finale. Some of the names being bandied around: Jason Mraz, Lionel Ritchie (dueting with Gokey), Cindi Lauper (dueting with Allison), Keith Urban (dueting with Kris), David Cook, Santana, Queen Latifah and Black Eyed Peas. For all of the latest (and most reliable) spoilers regarding tonight and tomorrow, check in with MJ, who's always the first with the news.

Until then, I'll be back tomorrow with my thoughts on the night. Feel free to have a season-ending party in the comment section and in the shoutbox as we all look forward to two great guys, two fantastic singers, two obvious friends closing out season eight in fabulous fashion. How nice it will be for me to love equally both remaining contestants. I think that's a first.

See you then!

setting the finale table: a SIMULBLOG...

2009-05-13T20:48:00.009-04:00

There are only two seats available at the big show. By the end of the night we'll find out which of the two guys remaining gets to sit with the adults. And which one gets sent to the kid's table.

Third place is the crummiest of places, I think. All of next week's focus will be on the two remaining contestants. All of the previous ousted contestants have received exposure, going on the talk show circuit, finding audiences that might not watch this show. But number three has to stay home and rehearse for the finale. No Ellen. No Regis. No Today Show for the third place guy. And by the time his time is free for a chat with Kelly Ripa, they won't want him, because, well, he's the third-place guy that we forgot about a week ago.

Yea. Making it all the way to third, coming thisclose to the extravaganza, getting dissed by the talk shows. This has to suck.

But THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, which means I'm writing as fast as I can as the action unfolds on the East Coast, so if you want to be shocked, now's the time to exit, because spoilers abound, snark can be found in the corners, personal opinions will fly and the show is about to start.
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The show can't even wait until the intro for the product placement, as Ben Stiller and the cast of the Smithsonian movie announcing that the AI desk is about to be inducted into the Institute. Ryan tells us that only one million votes separate the top two finishers. Too bad he didn't just tell us who they are so I could go to bed.

But they have more Coke to sell.

The Ford video has the guys turning into animated characters. The three sing well together, but I really think they've run out of ideas for these spots.

It's back to Idol Gives Back with Alicia Keys prompting us to donate five bucks. I didn't even miss Idol Gives Back enough to realize it hadn't been held. But Noah, the kid performing, is the bomb.
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Danny is summoned from backstage. We get to watch Danny's trip home to Milwaukee. The "Scream On" poster made me smile.

He is reminded of last night's reviews. And he's sent to wait.

Kris is called to the stage. The best part of his visit home to Conway, Arkansas? Cheese dip for life. I could handle that too.

Kris is also reminded of his reviews and sent to hang out with Danny.
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Jordin Sparks, the winner of the season I've chosen to forget occurred, is back in the house. She's looking quite lovely. Her new single is okay, if a bit redundant, but I hope it sells a gazillion copies.

Good for her.
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Adam is called to the stage. Most of the ousted idols are in the audience.

San Diego goes wild for him, especially the whacked out streaker wannabe who was forcefully removed from the stage.

He is reminded of last night's judges comments and sent to join the other two.
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Katy Perry is there. She sings. I don't care.
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The three guys are standing with Ryan, who wishes all of them luck.

First one safe is... Kris!!!!!!!!!

The second one safe is... Adam!!!!

Now that is a finale.

Danny gets to watch his funeral video as Underwood sings.

With no time left, he chooses You Are So Beautiful as his swan song.

See ya Danny.

And see you next week.

the top three: pretty dang good...

2009-05-13T12:11:00.003-04:00

The final three contestants turned in an overall decent show, with no trainwrecks, no obvious bus, and it's anybody's guess who's going to survive through tonight's results show, promising us a nailbiter of an episode waiting to find out who is going to join Adam in the last performance show of the year.

If there was a downside, it was, once again, the judges, who continue to act out and make the show about them more than about the contestants. And despite the cutting the final three's songs to two, the show still can't come in under an hour, insisting on filling precious minutes patting themselves on the (Idol Gives) back, a Carrie Underwood piece that would have fit nicely in next week's two-hour grand finale.

But anyway, here are my thoughts, for what they're worth, but as always from worst to first, which this week would be better titled not bad to pretty dang good.

Danny Gokey (Dance Little Sister). Paula always chooses so poorly for her contestants, and she didn't disappoint again. I hate this song. Sorry. And it's hard to fairly judge a song that one detests. But Danny did what he could. And he gets worst place, even though it wasn't bad, all because of the dancing, which he should be forbidden by law to do.

Kris Allen (Apologize). Kris also got the shaft with this song choice, and it cracked me up when Randy justified the pick by explaining that Kris had a "big voice." The performance was fine in a karaoke sort of way, but I can't help but agree with Kara that I was looking forward to a Kris arrangement and I didn't get it. Besides, I hate this song too.

Danny Gokey (You Are So Beautiful). Okay, finally a song I love. I wasn't over the moon about the arrangement in the middle, but the softer spots were done quite nicely. Danny should take a page out of Anoop's book. He seems to want to barrel through all of this performances like a bull, when he seems much better suited to softer side of songs.

Adam Lambert (Cryin'). Adam has proved time and again that he can take on any song. (In the tiny evil part of my heart, I was kinda wishing he had taken on Dream On, so that we would have a right way/wrong way to do Aerosmith film comparison. But he didn't.

Adam Lambert (One). While Paula can always be counted on to choose crappy songs, Simon always kicks ass with his choices. No difference this time. (And of the three judges selections, this one I love.) The arrangement left the song both recognizable and original. And Simon was right that if Adam doesn't make it through to the last show, it will be the biggest upset in this show's history. It will also be its biggest injustice. But I'm really not worried about that happening.

Kris Allen (Heartless). I was thrilled to watch Kris take just his guitar, shrug off the baggage of the background musicians and turn a song that I did not like into one I would buy. I have enjoyed every minute of watching the guy who was never intended to crack the top five turn into a star. And if this performance doesn't send him into a battle with Adam for the title, something is terribly wrong.

So those were my thoughts. Share yours.

I think the justified final two are Adam and Kris. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. The "go" will be put in Gokey tonight.

And I'll see you then.

three guys, two openings...

2009-05-12T18:50:00.002-04:00

It's final three night, just one week from the finish line, and you know what that means: three contestants, three songs, three judges.

Oh wait. That was last year.

Anyway, the questions are pretty much the same.

What will the judges choose for Danny? (Dance Little Sister). What will Danny choose for himself? (You Are So Beautiful)

Will the judges force Kris to sing about penguins? (No, it's Apologize.) And what will Kris pick? (Heartless.)

And what about Adam? His judges pick: One. His choice: Aerosmith's Cryin'.

In what order will the producers place them, which I still contend is based on total votes throughout the season for fairness? Danny/Kris/Adam

Will the judges stick to the point-the-Greyhound-directly-at-Kris script or will they actually listen to the guy perform and give honest feedback?

Will the judges stick to the we-want-a-Gokey/Adam-finale script or will they actually listen to Gokey's performances and give honest feedback?

Will we ever recover from the Gokey shriek?

Will enough of Allison's voters, still smarting over last week, text and dial Kris into the finale? (Let's hope so!)

Will I ever stop asking questions?

Yes. But I'll be back tomorrow with my thoughts. Meanwhile ask your own questions, be your own judge. Use up the comment thread to your heart's content.

This season is almost over.

yes kristen w/glasses, it's about the effort...

2009-05-09T08:50:00.003-04:00

In case you have missed the brilliance that is Idolatry, I'm sending you to Kristen with Glasses.

Because I'm still ticked off.

whose rock will roll?: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-05-06T20:41:00.009-04:00

Rock night on Idol was so intense, the set was shattered. And tonight, somebody's dreams are gonna be joining it.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing as fast as I can, trying to describe the action as it's happening live in the east, so if you want to be surprised, now is the time to go rewatch the fan-freaking-tabulous A-plus-A duet from last night. (I really hope big brother/little sister, who obviously have total love for each other take the "record together" advice seriously.)

But don't forget to come back, visit and dish with the rest of us. Because the show is about to start! _____

Ryan says over 64 million votes came in last night, the highest total outside of a finale. The kids are paper dolls in the Ford video and the group sing features Slash on guitar. Best one this season.
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The four are sitting on the stools, chatting with Ryan. Danny is pretty amusing with his admission that the "horror scream" was really as bad as the judges said it was.

Paula debuts her new single, proving without a doubt what good electronic enhancements can do to a mediocre voice. That was, well, painful.
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I just caught the promo for the summer tour. Am I the only one who had forgotten Michael Sarver?

Paula blathers to Ryan that she wanted to play the AI stage because it's a happy place. C'mon Paula. Everyone knows that playing the AI stage means zillions in sales. That's why No Doubt is there. And they're there.
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Ryan reminds us that the three survivors get the hometown treatment, and then we're treated to a retrospective of past homecomings. That was cool. Good memories.

The final four are brought to the stage.

Allison, Danny, Adam and Kris are lined up in that order. The kids are reminded of last night's reviews with no mention of bottom anythings.

One gets sent to safety. It's...Kris!! The others give him major hugs.
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Chris Daughtry is back in the house. And we're reminded of his season five journey. The band is debuting the first single from their sophomore album, No Surprise. I like it. And like David Cook before him, Chris gets a plaque, commemorating the success of his first quadruple platinum first CD, proving sometimes not winning is the best victory.
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The three remaining kids are center stage.

The next person safe and in the top three is... Adam.

Allison and Danny share a hug.

Danny is safe. Allison goes home.

She watches her journey as Carrie Underwood sings.

And my heart just broke a little.

So long Allison, and thanks.

See you next week.

rock and roll and peeing your pants...

2009-05-06T07:54:00.002-04:00

Leave it to American Idol to mangle its set for Rock Week. At least the guitars were left unharmed. Too bad the judges were too.

So Slash is the mentor, and he took the kids to a Sunset Strip club to make everything "more authentic." So they made the foursome pair up into two duets to allow each of them two songs without allowing us the pleasure of eight songs.

Shattered set. Slash. Sunset strip. Shared songs. Stupid Simon. Yeah. That about covers it last night's Rock night on the show.

So I'll try to summarize my thoughts on the night, for what they're worth, but, as always, from worst to first.

Danny Gokey (Dream On). I really don't have much to say about Danny's attempt at Aerosmith. Let's just say that the scream I released in my head was probably more pleasing than the one Danny unwisely let loose on an unsuspecting American public. And then to think he had the nerve to counter the (justly) negative remarks with the excuse that "rock isn't his genre." Well, no kidding, Danny. Adam was thrilled about Grand Ole Opry night. This ain't the Ed Sullivan Show.

Danny Gokey and Kris Allen (Renegade). Randy was right. The harmonies on this number were sublime. But that's where the enjoyment ended. The single vocals were weak. These two had zero on-stage interaction, and, contrary to what Simon spit out, Kris outperformed Danny every step of the way.

Kris Allen (Come Together). I did not understand the universal panning of this performance, except to think that the quartet received the end-of-the-season bus route and agreed that the Greyhound was headed right through Kris. Or over him. Okay, it wasn't my favorite Kris performance, and I was a little bummed that Kris didn't do what he did during Disco Week - tear the whole thing apart and perform a stripped-down version of it - but I enjoyed it anyway. And at least he didn't try to make excuses.

Allison Iraheta (Cry Baby). Allison proved in 90 seconds why she deserves to be in the finale. Okay, I kinda sorta agreed with the judges about the song choice (even though Allison was right that Piece of My Heart has been performed to death on this show, so she gets points for that), but it ticked me off that all the judges could find to critique was song selection over her fabulous performance of what she had selected. But then Simon's been doing that to her all year, so why stop now? And the girl gets major props for finally finding her speaking voice and putting Simon in his place with her personality.

Adam Lambert (Whole Lotta Love). It's Adam. It's Rock. It's Led Zepplin. But I have to share: midway through the performance, my husband, who has watched all season with me, asked "is he wearing eye makeup?" Guess he hasn't been watching as closely as I had thought. And I guess I've run out of superlatives for Adam Lambert.

Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta (Slow Ride). I bought this video on iTunes. My first and only download of the season. (Too bad it seems there will be no studio version.) If this performance isn't any indication of what the finale in two weeks should look like, something is just wrong. Enough said.

So that's what I thought. Now it's your turn.

But first the tough stuff. They pulled out three for five, so they'll likely pull three for four, so I'm going with two. (Did that make sense?)

Who should: Danny and Kris. (Bus notwithstanding.)
Who I want: Danny and Kris.
Who will: Danny and Kris.

And despite the season-long insistence that the finale is pre-ordained, and because we have a "shocking fourth-place boot" about every two years and we haven't had one since season five, and because I think America is smarter than she's given credit for sometimes, I think Danny will find his first trip to the bad stools to be his last trip.

I'm rooting for a Triple-A final three (Allison, Adam and Allen) and I'm hoping that, despite the pressure of time, the three remaining kids get to have their traditional three songs.

We'll see.

And I'll see you tonight, as we welcome back that last shocking fourth-place finisher, Chris Daughtry.

we're rockin' and rollin'... (UPDATED)

2009-05-05T18:59:00.003-04:00

UPDATE: Looks like there has been a not-so-minor incident on the Idol stage, canceling dress rehearsal and sending the stage manager to the hospital. The show will go on. Ryan says he will explain.
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They'll be rocking with Slash tonight as the final four head for the final stretch.

I see this night as custom-fitted for Allison and Adam. Kris should be fine too. So the one to watch, I think, will be Danny who has a massive fan base, but is really more soul than rock and roll.

And the big question is who will be picking up Matt's voters.

It's going to be fun to watch.

I'll be watching, and I'll be sharing my thoughts tomorrow. In the meantime, help yourself to the comment thread to share your thoughts before, during or after the show.

Rock on.

1 hour, 4 kids, 6 songs?...

2009-05-01T09:08:00.002-04:00

Well, if true, this would be yet another in a long line of twists, turns, switches and changes that the new producing staff have inflicted on the eighth season.

But it could also be kinda fun.

Because with an additional yappy judge, and because the show has become more about them than about the contestants, and because the director/producers can't keep enough control to keep the show within its alloted time, we got gypped out of two performances from each of the final five.

The solution for final four week? Give the kids one solo and then pair them for a couple of duets? Seems that's the rumor.

Sounds credible enough. Even enjoyable enough. But it's still pathetic that what has worked so successfully in past seasons has seemed so impossible to manage by this new format.

Your thoughts?

finding the top four: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-04-29T20:42:00.010-04:00

Four of the five remaining kids will get to work next week with Slash and sing a rock song or two, but one of them will have a Rat Pack standard as a swan song tonight as we cut the field to four.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing as fast as I can as the action is happening live on the East Coast, so if you want to be surprised, now's the time to find the exit.

Because the show is about to start!
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Ryan tells us that over 47 million votes were phoned in. Simon compliments all five kids, calling it an open competition. (Yeah, an competition to see who's going up against Adam.)

The Ford video is very colorful in a very black and white sort of way. The group sing with five is really more of a collection of solos, which is not a complaint.
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After a disgusting food fight (you'll have to watch) for which Danny gets a $6,000 housecleaning bill, the kids are brought center stage.

Matt is given his reviews and told to stand to the right of the stage.

Danny is reminded of his reviews, talks far too much, and is sent to the left side of the stage.

Allison gets the normal treatment, and is sent to join Team Danny.

It's Kris' turn. And he's sent to join Team Matt.

Adam is left. He's asked which group he thinks he belongs with. He chooses Team Danny. Ryan corrects him and sends him to join Kris and Matt in the bottom three.

Adam, Kris and Matt in the bottom three.
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Natalie Cole is one of the musical guests. She looks great.

We get a look at Danny and Allison, sitting safely on the stage and a backstage glimpse of Adam, Kris and Matt, chatting it up, waiting to be called back front and center.

After a commerical break, we get a visit from Taylor Hicks. Soul Patrol! It was good to see him.

The bottom dwellers are summoned to the stage. One of them gets a free pass back to safety. And it's...Kris.

Matt and Adam are the bottom two. Quelle surprise.
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Jamie Foxx takes the stage to sing his new single, proving that one does not need be a great vocalist to have a hit record. All one needs is the proper electronic equipment.
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Ryan reminds Simon that he was a little off his judging game last night. So true.

The lights are dimmed. Adam is told he's safe. He hugs Matt.

That was no surprise. Of the five, he was the weakest remaining. He watches his goodbye video.

He sings out the show as his castmates surround him.

So long Matt, and good luck.

See you next week!

5 singers, 5 songs, the wet episode...

2009-04-29T09:34:00.004-04:00

Okay, so I wasn't exactly pleased when I learned that, for the first time in eight seasons, the top five kids would not be singing two selections from the Rat Pack catalog. I didn't miss the pre-performance/mentor/prep taped packages last week. But I did like Jamie Foxx's advice to the kids, especially the truth that the songs they are choosing will be around for long after American Idol has become a footnote in pop culture history.

And the kids gave the songs that respect, pretty much across the board.

I still woulda liked 10 of them, though. (But the show not only woulda intruded on Fringe, it probably would have butted into the late news. Somebody check the producers for flu-like symptoms, please.)

Anyway, here they are, my impressions, for what they're worth, and, as usual, from worst to first.

Matt Giraud (My Funny Valentine). I love this song, but oh Matt. I know it's an unfair (and unofficial) rule that you shouldn't try to perform a song that's still memorable from seasons past. Melinda Doolittle killed this song two seasons ago, and any attempt at a remake is sure to be compared. Jamie Foxx tells Matt to just sing the song. I have told Matt to just sing the song. Just sing the song! And to his credit he does limit the vocal acrobatics, but, while he obviously respects and crawls into the song, it's - by far - the weakest performance of the night. And pretty much the only one I really didn't totally enjoy.

Kris Allen (The Way You Look Tonight). Oh I love this song. And I love Kris. And I really liked Kris singing this song. I don't agree with Randy that it was his best performance of the season - I think that came two weeks ago - but Kris continues to show exactly what type of artist he is, what type of music he would produce. Simon tells him his performance was a bit "wet" and then throws in a puppy analogy. All I know is that when I use "puppy" and "wet" in the same sentence, it's usually accompanied by naughty words. I don't know what in the hell Simon meant.

Danny Gokey (Come Rain or Come Shine). I love this song. And for probably the first time since the semi-finals, I enjoyed Danny! Okay, so I coulda done without him taking the song to church at the end, but I give him credit for the switch-up. I still don't think he belongs in the finale, and frankly I'm getting sick and tired of Paula dismissing the remaining contestants by her constant insistence that the finale is set, but this performance may have picked Gokey up a few more fans to add to the base he had before live singing ever started.

Allison Iraheta (Someone to Watch Over Me). I love this song. I love Allison. And I loved Allison's version of the song. (She's not 16 anymore!) I did not love Simon's attempt at trapping her into a lose/lose question, asking her if she felt she could win. And I don't know what Simon was thinking, calling this performance "mechanical." For me it was a genuine, heartfelt, from the gut, gritty performance, the huskiness of her voice fitting perfectly in a genre that could have posed problems for a lesser vocalist. (She's 17 now!) Now if she would just work a bit on her enunciation... (Maybe when she's 18 she will...)

Adam Lambert (Feeling Good). Adam's was, without compare, the best entrance ever in the history of this show. I have watched the video numerous times just for the sashay. So I kinda sorta agreed with Randy that this was a tad more theatrical than necessary, but it's Adam, so what do we expect. I don't even bother discussing Adam's vocal perfection at this point of the season, because it's like reminding everyone that the oxygen was good, so what put him at the top for me this week is what I've come to love from him: the voiceless expressions. The mischievous eyes, the smirk, the subliminal smile. I admire that ability in a performer, the ability to communicate without the use of any vocal cord. And, in this one performance, Adam's face spoke volumes, and was the best of a very good night.

So who does that leave on the Midnight Train to Georgia? I doubt they'll draw a final three (but then I thought they'd sing two songs, too, so what do I know.) But this is my blog, so I'll choose a final whatever-I-want.

Who should: Matt and Kris.
Who I want: Matt and Danny.
Who will: Matt and Allison.

I think Simon's death wish (reverse psychology?) on Allison, telling her she might be in trouble, will be enough fire under her voters (and new voters who just get ticked off when Simon does that) to withstand any ouster. Matt has used up pretty much all of his lives, and escaped the bottom three last week when he should have landed there. It's his time to go. And go he will.

Tonight we'll have Natalie Cole and a Taylor Hicks return. Next week it's Rock Week with Daughtry.

See you tonight as we trim the field to four.

the top 5: scooby dooby doo... (UPDATED)

2009-04-28T16:48:00.006-04:00

It's final five week, and of course that means ten songs. And the songs will come from the big band standards made famous by that famous rat pack of guys who tooled and fooled around in Las Vegas back in the day: Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford, Dean Martin.

UPDATE: The kids will each sing ONE song. Obviously no one can be trusted to stick with the traditional two because with four mouthy judges, a mentor (Jamie Foxx) who must be featured in pre-performance clips and two days worth of commercials to sell, the show just cannot be completed in one hour. Geesh this show is sinking. (See commentary linked below.)

I can't wait to see the spin Adam Lambert is going to put on these classics. All of them, actually, should do quite well. I don't think there's anything Kris can't handle, and these songs are made for a piano man like Matt. Allison might be the one to watch, and let's hope she survives through to the final four, where "rock" is the theme.

Taylor Hicks is getting the invitation for tomorrow's results show, and by all reports, Daughtry is on tap to visit next week.

I'll be sharing my thoughts on the final five (and ranting if the producers can't bring the show in under an hour) tomorrow. Please stop by and rant with me.

I love these songs, so I'm looking forward to a treat.

While you're waiting for the show to begin, though, you might want to check out this assessment of the chaos that is Season 8. I can't help but agree with virtually every word.

from seven to five: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-04-22T20:30:00.010-04:00

Might we be in for a shocking double elimination? Might we be in for one shocking and one not-so-shocking boot?

This is about the time in the season where the unpredictable predictably happens, and with no "save" to protect the favored who knows. That's what makes the show fun. And maddening.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a Simulblog, where I'm writing as fast as I can, typos and all, while the action is happening live in the east, so if it's not on where you are and you want to be shocked at the result, then time to go elsewhere. But come back when you know and dish with the rest of us.

Because the show is about to start.
_____

Ryan opens the show wishing us all a Happy Earth Day! Green Power! There were 45 million votes tallied last night.

Paula is the choreographer for tonight's group sing. This could be interesting, considering the highlights of the rehearsal session.

Well, it's definitely ugly with polyester leisure suits. (What were we thinking in the 70s?) But they look like they're having fun and it wasn't half bad. Paula is called to the stage and the kids present her with a flower bouquet approximately the size of Utah.
_____

The Crappy Ford Commercial celebrates Earth Day.

The lights are dimmed.

Lil is told to stand. She's reminded of her really bad reviews from last night. She's sent to the far side of the stage.

And she's sent home. WOW. That was a quick kill.

They make her sing again.
_____

Freda Payne is on the stage. Okay, now that's one non-Idol related artist I can welcome on results night. She sings Band of Gold, of course. Thelma Houston is next and sings Don't Leave Me This Way. K.C. without the Sunshine Band (but with some unidentified singer/dancers) shows up with Get Down Tonight.
_____

The kids are back on the sofa, and Ryan is back at the podium.

Kris is told to stand. They rehash the whole ladies department/clothing nonsense from last night. And he's safe.

Adam is next. He's safe.

Danny's turn. He's wearing his contacts again. And he's safe too.

Anoop is told to stand. He's in the bottom three and takes a stool.

Allison and Matt are told to stand. Matt is safe; Allison is sent to join Anoop on the naughty stools.
_____

Archie has returned! Is it possible that he looks even younger than last year? Or is it just me. He's keeping his eyes open! Yay Archie! Can't say I'm fond of the song, but I hope he sells a gazillion copies of it.
_____

Anoop and Allison are standing center stage. Anoop is told the bad news. He gets a big hug from his castmate. The crowd stands, obviously appreciating this classy young man. He reprises his song from last night and this time hits his final note and properly puts all of the lyrics in their proper places. Much nicer.

We get to watch two funeral videos as we say goodbye to Anoop and Lil and hello to the top five who will sing two songs each next week.

See you then.

seven singers doing donna summer...

2009-04-22T11:08:00.003-04:00

Okay, so not all seven chose Donna Summer songs (and regrettably, none of them chose It's Raining Men - bummer), but you can't say (or sing) Disco without the Diva of Disco, so it's not surprising that nearly half of the group dug out the Summer Songbook.

Let's just sum up the top-seven-which-was-supposed-to-be-the-top-six episode neatly and concisely:

Kris and Adam rocked, which was good.
The others didn't, which was not good.
The show cut the filler crap, which was good.
Disco was, and is, a crap theme, which was not good.
The background singers were on the stage a lot, which was good.
The background singers were mostly better than the singer they shared the stage with, which was not good.
The band was good, which was good.
The judges were, as usual, childish, which was not good.
Lil's mother looked about ready to beat the crap out of the judges, which was hysterically good.
The camera panned away from her just as the good words were coming out of her mouth, which was totally not fair.

That about sums it up.

Here we go, from worst (in pretty much any order that you want to put them in) to first (which essentially ended up in a tie for me):

Anoop Desai (Dim All the Lights). What in the name of Donna Summer was this song? It's one thing to switch up a song to "make it your own", but when you turn it into something unrecognizable, that's called destroying a song. So if you're gonna destroy a song, better sing it well. Anoop did, but didn't. But I did like the pink sweater.

Lil Rounds (I'm Every Woman). My theory is this: the producers, hell-bent on deep-sixing Lil this week, gave her three song titles from which to choose, this one, Vincent [season two reference that Clay Aiken fans will understand] and Happy Feet [nod to the Syesha fan out there]. She shoulda stuck with the Donna Summer theme, because this didn't work. Although, Simon might have bought her a stay of execution with his prediction that it was her last time on the stage. (Note to Simon: that usually backfires!)

Matt Giraud (Stayin' Alive). Yes Matt, you stayed alive last week, but it wasn't entirely necessary to sing an ode to it. It wasn't as bad as some of Matt's past performances, but when Simon noted that the outing smacked of "desperation", I couldn't help but agree.

Allison Iraheta (Hot Stuff). Who is giving this girl fashion advice? It took me about 45 seconds out of the front of this number to realize I hadn't heard a word because I was distracted by Allison's wardrobe. It took me the next 10 seconds to figure out I wasn't enjoying it. Another Allison disappointment and Simon calls it brilliant. Allison was brilliant a few weeks ago, and Simon said she had no personality. Are we watching the same show?

Danny Gokey (September). I had a Season 4 flashback to Anwar when I heard that Gokey had chosen this Earth, Wind and Fire song, but I was somewhat surprised to find myself entertained, despite the attempt at dancing. (Note to Danny: you can't dance. So don't.) I think this was his best vocal outing in weeks.

Adam Lambert (If I Can't Have You). I loved the arrangement (and loved that Adam took the effort to credit Michael Orland for it). I loved the understated performance. I loved the lighting. I loved the suit. I did not love the hair.

Kris Allen (She Works Hard for the Money). I loved the arrangement. I loved the unexpected choice of a Donna Summer song (despite the infantile women's clothing banter that followed among the adolescents at the judges table). I loved the drummers on stage. And I loved the hair, which puts Kris, once again, at the top of my list. By a hair.

We're dumping two tonight!!! YAY for US!

Who should: Anoop, Lil, Matt
Who I want: Anoop, Lil, Matt
Who will: Anoop, Lil, Matt

Anoop will go first, and I will get a phone call from my 11-year-old grandson, lamenting about how unfair this show, America and life is.

Lil will go next and the camera will go to dark just as Lil's Mom makes a homicidal lunge at the judges. Film at 11.

And, since it's Disco week, David Archuleta, king of Disco, will be the featured guest.

Because THIS is American Idol.

we will survive...

2009-04-21T18:08:00.002-04:00

Grab your polyester and dig out the platform shoes.

It's DISCO time on American Idol.

Get the Tylenol (or your favorite adult beverage) while you're at it. Yes we will survive it, we always have, but this is one night that promises at least one trainwreck.

This should be the perfect platform for Adam Lambert (but honestly, what genre hasn't been or could be?) and could possibly give Lil a last-minute gasp of survivability (but what makes us think she would choose the right song this week when she's got a perfect record so far?) Allison Iraheta could surprise us, but I can't help but cringe at the thought of Anoop and what he might choose.

Let's hope that without a mentor to eat up valuable time with the pre-performance clips, they've been able to streamline the show to bring it in on time.

I'll be sharing my thoughts on the night sometime tomorrow, so for now, the comment section is an open thread to blast away.

Even though You Should Be Dancing...

and to think it only took them 4 months to figure it out...

2009-04-18T10:45:00.001-04:00

Check it out:

Two Judges + Two Judges = Big Fat Zero.

getting to a half dozen: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-04-15T20:42:00.008-04:00

There will be no Academy Awards handed out after last night's Songs of the Cinema production, but somebody's gonna get the ax before the night is over.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing as the action is unfolding on the East Coast, so if you don't want to know the results, now's the time to go get some popcorn and take a potty break. But come back and dish with the rest of us.

Because the show is about to start!
_____

The Ford video is to Freeze Frame, with magazine covers and a Ford car. The group sing is pretty thin with undetectable harmony. It's not been a good season for group sings.

[Blogger is really messing up tonight, so if I suddenly disappear, you will understand why.]
_____

Ryan and the kids chat about working with QT, and we get to see the highlights of the kids' visit to the premiere of 17 Again.

Time to dim the lights.

Allison is told to stand. She gets her reviews from last night. She is safe.

Adam is next. He's okay.

Time for Anoop. He's heading to the bad stools for the third straight week.
_____

Jennifer Hudson returns to Idol's stage. She's FAB.
_____

Ryan kills more time by chatting with Anoop on the stools of death.

Kris is told to stand. Lil is told to join him. They get reminded of last night's reviews. Simon gets an opportunity to tell Kris he was "brilliant". Lil is sent to join Anoop on the stools.

Time for Matt and Danny. Danny's wearing his glasses tonight. Danny is safe and Matt heads for the corner.

Kara thinks the bottom three deserves their fate. Paula babbles.

Ryan sends Anoop back to the safety of the sofa.
_____

It's time for that teen sensation Hannah Miley Montana Cyrus, and since I would rather hear nails on a chalkboard, I think it's a good time for me to take a break from the television.
_____

Simon says the judges might consider either Matt or Lil, but not both. I think he's talking about Matt, because he did not hide his disgust with Lil last night at all.

After the two are forced to wait through an endless commercial break, the lights are dimmed. Over 36 million votes came in last night. Lil is told she's safe, leaving Matt on the stage alone.

Matt is forced to sing his song without benefit of the piano, while the judges go through their charade of "discussing" the save. This performance is a thousand times better than last night.

And the judges throw him a lifesaver. Or a show-saver, as it were.

Matt is in tears as the kids gather around for hugs. Simon reminds the group that next week two of them are getting executed after they've been forced to sing Disco.

So nobody leaves. We're still at seven.

See you next week.

the top 7: special sauce edition...

2009-04-15T09:37:00.002-04:00

Well, there went 63 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

For the first time during the finals of the eighth season, the seven remaining contestants turned in what can only be described as a snoozefest. Only one of them chose a movie song that had any semblence of tempo, and then turned it into a screamfest and only one of them selected a song from a movie produced in the last five years.

But two of them, apparently are sipping "special sauce." Paula knows special sauce when she smells it.

But before I critique the kids, I gotta blast away at the other folks.

For seven seasons, with Nigel Lythgoe at the helm and (usually but not always) three judges at the table, this show has been able to bring a live performance episode in under an hour. No one was rushed (at least until the very end) usually, and each kid was given a full-panel critique. (Not always a good critique, yo dawg, but feedback from each judge.

Last night, because the show was scheduled for an hour and there were a whole seven kids singing and 40 minutes of commercial time sold, the kids were given feedback from just half the judging panel. Ryan called it historic. I call it a cop out.

Who knew the show would sink the minute Nigel jumped ship?

If the show is running long, why do we have four judges, one of whom adds nothing of any consequence, one of whom can't speak English most of the time, one of whom is in the special sauce (even though she, by comparison to the newbie, is becoming more and more lucid and appreciated) and the other of whom looks as bored as a man at a Tupperware party?

If the show is running long, why do some contestants and not others, get to chat for an extended time pre-performance about purchasing a guitar that he can't play and has no intention of playing on the show?

Fix the show. It's that simple. Can the director. (And the sound guy too while you're at it.) Deep-six the fourth judge. Knock off the pre-performance chit-chat. And pay Nigel whatever he wants to return.

Tonight, one of the seven will head off the stage into the land of talk-show appearances. It's anyone's guess who it will be, even though dialidol shows Kris, Allison and Matt as the most in danger. None of them turned in performances boot-worthy. Unfortunately for us, though, none of them turned in anything worthy at all.

It was just the little episode that could. And didn't.

So here they are, my rankings, which could have as easily been thrown in a basket and ordered as they were drawn, but, as best as I can, listed from worst to first.

Matt Giraud (Have You Really Loved a Woman). It's becoming tradition that when a contestant in the pre-performance clip says he chose his song because "he loves it" that that's gonna be bad news. Matt fulfills that prophecy by mangling this number with too many vocal acrobats, which kind of leaves him gasping for air at the end.

Lil Rounds (The Rose). Lil needs to find a song without any sustained notes, because she can't sustain them. In weeks past she's gone flat. With this song she goes sharp anytime the note lasts for more than two seconds. I liked her attempt at gospel-ing the second half of the song, but the ending and that last note that went south is what I'll remember. Simon, with limited time because the show's gone long, gives her the Idol kiss of death (which will bring out the sympathy vote in large numbers) before Lil snaps back that she's trying to do what they want her to do.

Anoop Desai (Everything I Do I Do it for You). Everything this performance had in terms of vocal perfection, it lacked in anything energetic. Anoop knows his strength is in the power ballad, but dang, it's getting boring. He should know, after his visit to the stools and edging Scott last week by a handful of votes that he's on borrowed time. He needs to ramp up the tempo - without going over the edge - and work on switching up the appearance. Or he's not long for this show.

Allison Iraheta (Don't Wanna Miss a Thing). Allison starts the show with her worst performance to date. And suddenly Simon realizes she's there, throwing Lil under the bus while Lil's still getting her wig adjusted backstage. Allison, who is normally spot on musically, struggles with the lower opening parts and seems never to find her niche. But at least her feet are not glued to the floor, and her performance of the song compensates somewhat for the lack of vocal quality.

Danny Gokey (Endless Love). This is not a one-person song, no matter how emotionally-attached Danny is to it, as evidenced by the not-so-subtle heavenly glance at the end. It's too bad I couldn't detect an ounce of emotion in the performance. Simon noted that it was disappointing that Danny didn't change up the song like David Cook altered another Lionel Ritchie song last season. Simon, there are some songs you don't change. And this is one. That's meant for two.

Adam Lambert (Born to be Wild). Too bad all of the energy produced in this show occurred in the middle of the show. Okay, I love Adam. I love this song. I wasn't crazy about the over-the-top screech-fest performance, but every note was perfection, as usual, and it didn't bore me to tears. But it won't make my list of best season eight moments, that's for sure.

Kris Allen (Falling Slowly). Kris' only misstep here was not playing the guitar. This song, with guitar, sitting on a stool, would have been better. Yes it was soft. It was a ballad. But it was the only ballad of the night worth rewatching. Every note was pure. Kris poured more emotion into this song than all of the other attempts combined. Randy must have sniffed some of Paula's special sauce to call this pitchy. And for once Kara was exactly right: it was Kris' finest moment. And the best of the night.

So there are my reviews. Now it's your turn.

Who should: Anoop, Matt, Lil
Who I want: Lil, Anoop, Matt
Who will: Anoop, Matt, Kris

At this point the only people with a serious shot at a judges "save" are Adam, Danny, Kris and Allison. Anoop's time is finally up, and he'll be the one listening to Carrie Underwood crooning to his funeral video.

The only BIG questions for tonight?

Who will get "Huff-ed?" and will Miley Cyrus make all seven Idols sound like superstars?

My guesses: Adam and Yes.

Remember, Jennifer Hudson makes her Idol stage return!!

See you tonight.

the top 7: pass the popcorn...

2009-04-14T17:56:00.003-04:00

It's Movie Night on American Idol!

Or, two hours before the performance episode, I might suggest it be called Adam Lambert night, as only Broadway night would be more up his alley.

Quentin Tarantino makes his first return since Season 3, but this time as the behind-the-scene mentor, as the kids choose songs from the movies, episodes of which historically have brought us some of the most memorable performances.

How much you wanna bet that Lil Rounds takes on Whitney Houston's I Have Nothing or something out of Dreamgirls? How much you wanna bet that she'll be the new VFTW princess?

The big question, though, is whether the judges/producers/director/host can bring the show in within its allotted time.

I will be curiously watching, and of course will tell you how much I hated pretty much everything, but not tonight. Tomorrow. But I'll be back live tomorrow night for the killing. So use up the comment threads to throw virtual tomatoes at the kids, at the judges (aim for Kara, please), at the sound guys, at Tarantino or at the mosh pit.

And check back in with me on Wednesday.

EDITED TO ADD: You want song spoilers? Check out MJ's Blog.

seven is better: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-04-08T20:47:00.007-04:00

What was a group of eight yesterday becomes a team of seven tonight, as we cast aside yet another hopeful, leaving him alone and lonely along the side of the stage without a lyric to sing until the finale.

Thank God, another is getting whacked. As long as it's the right one.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a Simulblog, where I'm typing as fast as I can to describe the action as it's unfolding (and taking too damn long) on the East Coast, so if you want to watch in "real" time, find somewhere else to hang out for the next hour.

Because the show is about to start!
_____

Ryan starts the show chatting with the judges, most of whom express overall disappointment over last night's episode. And, of course, we get a little more "year you were born" humor, which culminates with a super special surprise guest that makes me stop, smile and applaud. I ain't giving that one away.

The group song celebrates 2002, the year American Idol was born. This is just not good. Maybe it's the song. Maybe it's the combination. Maybe it's mute button time.
_____

We're taken behind the scenes of the making of the Ford "video". The kids are magicians. There is a car. You get it.

We're back live and Ryan is quizzing Adam about last night's Simon standing O. No mention of the O not being recorded by DVRs all over the country. An "our bad" would have been nice.

Hey look! It's the mayor of Kalamazoo, Michigan!! He's there to see Matt.

Time to do it.

Adam and Kris are told to stand. Anoop is told to join them. The judges are given a chance to critique Adam, and he's told to sit down.

The two that are not Adam are reminded of their comments last night and Anoop is sent to the bad stools.
_____

Flo-Rida is this week's non-Idol affiliated, no-reason-to-be-here-except-to-hawk-CD guest. At least I am enjoying his performance. That's a first. Man, they're even throwing out the streamers and confetti.
_____

We're back. Danny is told to stand. He's safe.

Matt is next. Ryan tries to fool him before telling him to sit down.

Scott's turn. He's sent to join Anoop on the naughty stools.

Allison is told to stand. Lil is told to join her. They are reminded of their reviews. Allison is safe, and Lil is given her first ticket to the dark side.

Simon says there are two - one in particular - of the three that would be considered for a save. I don't believe it for a minute.

Pickler is next.
_____

Pickler takes the stage, flirts with Simon and warbles through a song that I really don't like.

The trio in trouble is brought center stage. Time to send somebody to safety. Lil is given another chance, leaving Anoop and Scott to wait through a commercial.
_____

The lights are dimmed. Thirty-four million votes were called in. Scott gets the axe. He looks both sad and stunned. I feel sad for him. He reprises last night's song without the weight of the guitar. I hope it's better.

The drama is spread out far beyond what it's worth. Simon puts us out of our misery and sends Scott home. He gets hugs from his colleagues as we watch his journey.

Good luck Scott. You did good.

See you next week!

no lifeguard on duty...

2009-04-08T09:52:00.003-04:00

Okay, I think I have officially gone off the edge with this show.

In the course of eight seasons, we have watched twelve singers sing for 90 seconds each, have their critiques, endured pointless banter, and suffered through commercials, all in a paced, though sometimes rushed, one-hour show.

This year's crew struggled to cram eight singers into 75 minutes, once again leaving TiVo watchers without the best part of the program.

Grow up American Idol. And get rid of one of the judges.

Even omitting (thank you) the indulgent on-stage introduction of the four judges who we already know and don't care about and whose baby pictures could have been saved for the already-too-long results show, last night's program, slated for exactly 61 minutes, ended around 15 minutes late. As a result, the early singers had more than enough critique and the later (and better) ones were left with two and three word responses.

Good thing the best got saved for last.

And one more thing, while I'm in the mood to rant. I'm officially now sick and tired of the judges constantly harping that the kid who chose the wrong song when there were "millions" to choose from during the year, say, 1985, was "indulgent" "stupid" "ill-advised or otherwise insane to have performed the song he or she did.

Get real Simon. We are not new. We know the score. And even though I think "millions" is a bit of a stretch for any one calendar year, we are not stupid. These kids are handed a list of maybe (if they're lucky) ten titles that have been cleared and that the producers have chosen. They are not handed the Billboard chart and given free reign. You know that; we know that.

So shut up.

There. I'm done. For now.

Anyway, as the last eight standing celebrated the one year none of them remember because they were busy pooping in their Pampers at the time, here are my impressions, tempered with anger over everything except them, but as normal, from worst to first.

Scott MacIntyre (The Search is Over). Oh what can I say. Scott, get your ass back on the piano bench. I respected his switch to the guitar, even though I think he'd have been better off with just the microphone. This song was just too big for him. I so want Scott to succeed every time he's on that stage, but even I had to wince when he went for the glory notes that just weren't there. But I giggled and gave him major points for the humor. And I think a lot of voters will too.

Kris Allen (All She Wants to Do is Dance). Stay out of the mosh pit!! Matt went there and drowned. Now Kris is the victim. No lifeguard is on duty!! Just as Kris was riding safely on the up escalator, he catches his toe and stumbles through this wacked-out arrangement that had virtually no resemblance to the original. Even Kris' good looks couldn't keep me from wanting this performance to end. Swiftly.

Lil Rounds (What's Love Got to Do With It). The judges, again, tell Lil she's this year's Mary J. Blige contestant, and they crucify her, again, for not crawling into her box. The girl cannot win. This was an okay performance from her, better than the last two outings, and would probably win first place in the karaoke bar. And that was the problem. When Paula starts the critique and reduces the performance to nothing more that karaoke, you know there's a problem. There was. This is not what wins American Idol, and, I think, Lil has officially been removed from the backstage top three list. Deservedly.

Anoop Desai (True Colors). Anoop retreats to the safety of the soft balladeer this week, but not before pulling a Justin Guarani and spending his pre-performance time sucking up to the voters he turned off last week after sniping at Kara. (Hey Anoop, you probably got some votes for sniping. Next time punch her. You might win this thing.) Here's the thing. I thought his vocal was great. I like a soft ballad. Sometimes. But I like Cheerios too. Just not at every meal. You can't win this thing without some variety, and snoozy voters can't dial.

Danny Gokey (Stand By Me). Okay, so Mickey Gilley recorded this song in 1980, so technically it qualifies. But Danny's version has no resemblance to the Gilley recording, starting off the song at a snail's pace but cranking up the tempo at the chorus. Not bad. I, like Randy, disliked immensely the arrangement, but at least Danny's not screeching at me this week, and for that I say thanks. I still don't get the over-the-top judges love, but it was one of Danny's better vocal outings.

Matt Giraud (Part-Time Lover). Hey. This is Kevin Covais' song. So Matt loses points off the top for tarnishing my memory of that season five classic. (Pardon me for a second. I'm cracking myself up...) Okay, I'm back. And so is the real Matt, out of the lethel mosh pit and complete with sexy hat. This wasn't my favorite Matt performance - too many riffs and runs for my taste, but exactly what Kara asked for - but he proved again why he deserves to be there. I wasn't as gushing with praise as the judges were, but it was certainly one of the best of the evening. I still love Chicken Little though.

Allison Iraheta (I Can't Make You Love Me). Allison is 16. She sings like she's 40. Everything about this performance is right. She scales it back as it should be. She doesn't oversell it, she just lets her incredible vocal skill take the song, while controlling it exactly as she should. She's the first female I've loved so enthusiastically since Kelly Clarkson, and Randy gives her some good advice, building on Simon's observation that she needs to ramp up the personality aspect. There's no reason on this earth why this girl has been in the bottom three twice, except to remember that American Idol is not, as advertised incessantly, a singing competition. It's a popularity contest. Play the game Allison.

Adam Lambert (Mad World). Every now and then on this show, there is a moment. It's a moment that absorbs you into the performance. They are few, but they are memorable. And they are remembered years after the last note has been sung. In some ways it was a shame that because Adam closed the show, the judges had no time, save for Simon, to react. And in other ways, it's fitting that only Simon had the chance. A simple standing ovation, for the first time in eight seasons from the cranky one was critique enough. This was breathtaking.

So there you have it. Rants and all. (Disclaimer: yes, I peeked at dialidol, but it didn't change my mind.)

Who should: Scott, Lil, Anoop
Who I want: Scott, Lil, Anoop
Who will: Scott, Anoop, Kris

There will be no save. Anoop will say goodbye.

Kellie Pickler is gonna be back tonight! I'll see y'all then.

happy birthyears!...

2009-04-07T17:39:00.003-04:00

Final eight time is usually when things start heating up. Let's hope so.

They're celebrating their "eight-ness" by celebrating the music from the years they were born, which essentially guarantees an 80s night and Allison. (She's 16. She was born in the 90s. Pass the Centrum Silver, please.)

The questions:

Will Adam look like old Adam, who we love or new Adam, who we love?
Will Scott step away from the piano like Paula wants, or will he stay at the keyboard like everyone else wants?
Who will Matt be tonight?
Will Anoop really try to dance again?
What color will Danny's glasses be?
What color will Allison's hair be?
Will Lil have given her babies boxing lessons so they can take Randy out?
Will Jennifer fall more in love with Kris?
Will the judges act like grown ups?
Will Kara say something original that actually makes sense?

Yes. Those are the questions.

I will let you know the answers, and my views on the whole ~~disaster~~ extravaganza, tomorrow. But in the meantime, the comment thread is open season for all of us to let off steam as the evening progresses.

Have at it. And I'll see you tomorrow.

9 becomes 8: a SIMULBLOG...

2009-04-01T20:44:00.008-04:00

We're going to lose some more of the dead weight on April Fool's Day. (Let's hope they don't pull a "never mind, nobody leaves" act and hope that they pull a "check it out, half of you are dead" routine.)

David Cook and Lady Gaga are supposed to be the guests on a week that saw no mentors, no real theme, no Idol moments but plenty of filler. We're in for more filler tonight because despite trimming the performance show to one hour, 25 minutes (huh?), we're still being subjected to the painfully long 60 minute results.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing as fast as the law allows while the action is happening live in the east, so if you don't wanna know, now's the time to take a nap or catch up with the absolutely terrific Idoltry videos. But stop back by once you know who has bitten the dust to share your thoughts with the rest of us.

Because the show is about to start...

Over 36 million votes were phoned in last night, so Ryan concludes that this is the most popular group in the show's history.

Randy is still criticizing song selection. Kara invites the audience to boo her, like we need the extra incentive to hate her. Paula assures the other eight kids that she thinks they have the potential to be like Adam. Simon says half of the group could be in trouble. Megan waves at the crowd.

We get a very strange Ford video right off the bat. And then the kids, with Scott at the keyboard, launch into Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. This group has absolutely no dance ability. They have the pointy pose thing down pat, but the best they can manage in the way of foot movement is walking around in circles.
_____

The kids are on the sofa and Ryan is at his post. We get a glimpse into a day in the life of an American Idol contestant. They are busy taking pictures, rehearsing, eating quadruple chocolate cake and making sexy faces.

The lights are dimmed.

Megan is told to stand. And so is Matt. Kris too. They are told to stand on the far side of the stage.

Adam stands, followed by Lil and Allison. They are sent to the center stage.

The other three, Scott, Danny and Anoop are sent to the near side of the stage.

Ryan asks if one of these groups could be the bottom three. Boy he is using the word could a lot on April Fool's Day.
_____

David Cook is back (complete with his mom) singing his new single Come Back to Me. Excuse me while I remember how much I loved last season. :::sniff:::

He sounds terrific and gets presented with his Platinum record plaque. Platinum in three months. YAY!!
_____

The groups are standing on the stage, and Ryan has his cards.

He starts with Kris. He's reminded of his reviews from last night. And he's sent to the safety of the sofa.

Time for Matt. He says he has no regrets about his performance last night. He's sent to join Kris.

Megan is left. I think we all know how this is gonna go. She is sent to the bad stool.

Time for Team Adam with Lil and Allison.

Lil is sent to the safe place. Allison is told to join Megan on the bad stools. At this rate, Allison is going to be the new Kim Locke/Syesha Mercado.

Adam is told he's safe, of course, considering he's Adam and the only one left of the three.

Danny's turn. He's safe.

Scott and Anoop are reminded of their reviews. Anoop says Scott should be safe. Very gracious. And he's right. Anoop joins the girls on the bad stools.

We're teased with a Lady Gaga introduction as they cut to yet another hour of commercials.
_____

And sing she does. I'm not sure there are words to describe this. So I won't try.

Ryan asks Simon if any of the bottom three should be saved. "Just one," he replies. Bet that ain't Megan or Anoop.
_____

Ryan's going to send somebody to sit with the good kids. It's Allison. YAY! She hugs the others as Anoop and Megan lock arms.

Megan is told she's toast. Simon tells her she doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting saved, and she should enjoy her "swan song." So she does, pulling out every quirky and dorky dance move in her handbag.

See ya Megan.

See you next week.

no more downloads please...

2009-04-01T10:34:00.003-04:00

Top downloads night kinda provided something for everyone. Some of the kids selected recent hits, some chose adult contemporary songs and a few reached back into the archives for some golden oldies.

And some were good, some not so good and others were simply present. In other words, I'm glad I watched the show on TiVo and chose to go to bed last night instead.

So here they are, my thoughts for what they're worth, and listed from worst to first:

Megan Joy (Turn Your Lights Down Low). I'm sorry, but I can't for the life of me figure out why Megan is still in this competition when Alexis Grace is watching from her living room. I just can't.

Anoop Desai (Caught Up). I appreciate that Anoop took a break from ballad-land this week, and this performance was nowhere near Beat It level, but despite a decent vocal, his attempt at imitating Usher just didn't work for me.

Lil Rounds (I Surrender). She's trying too hard. She says in her taped piece that she's finally chosen the right song. Wrong. Just like last week, she's flat all over the place and seems so desperate to hit those power notes that it came off more like screeching than singing. But the little bit at the end, as Lil is wiping her tears after getting bruised by the judges, with the Lil kids was cute.

Matt Giraud (You Found Me). We finally found Matt, oddly sitting at the keyboard in the middle of the mosh pit. That was awkward. Also awkward was this performance, right from the start, and while it got somewhat better as the song went on, might spell trouble for the guy on results night. Maybe they can place the bad stools in the mosh pit.

Danny Gokey (What Hurts the Most). While this performance was better than last week's, I just don't get the judges. He delivered the song well emotionally, but it just seemed strident and, at times, borderline screaming.

Scott MacIntyre (Just the Way You Are). Simon was right that this was Scott's best performance to date. I actually didn't hit the FFW button. I loved that the band took a breather and left just Scott with his piano, but as much as I enjoyed it, he's still so outclassed in this group. I think he bought himself some time, but not much.

Adam Lambert (Play that Funky Music). I am still lurving the hair and scaled back makeup. What an odd choice for Adam to sing, but the judges were right that it was an awesome arrangement, delivered flawlessly like we've come to expect from Adam. But I still don't like the song.

Allison Iraheta (Don't Speak). Yes, she looked like a Bratz doll on crack, but I loved the addition of the guitar, I loved the vulnerability at the front of the song, she didn't miss a note, even though she had a minor botch of the lyrics. I love this girl to death. (She's 16.)

Kris Allen (Ain't No Sunshine). Holy piano. I wasn't too thrilled when I heard he had chosen this song, because it's one of those songs that has a shrine in my heart, and I don't much like people touching my shrine. But this was the jewel of the night, appropriately put into the pimp spot. Kris just keeps peaking and, as Simon noted correctly, brings more confidence to the stage each week. This was FAB.

So there are my thoughts. Feel free to add yours.

Now the tough part, because I did glance at dialidol.com.

Who should: Lil, Megan, Anoop
Who I want: Lil, Megan, ~~Chris~~ Scott
Who will: Megan, Anoop, Matt

And I'm going out on a limb to say that Megan will be forced to "sing for her life", we will be forced to listen again and she and her tattooed arm will wave farewell by the end of the hour tonight.

See you then.

will you download this?...

2009-03-31T18:14:00.002-04:00

It's no telling what we're going to hear tonight, as the theme is "top downloads." At least for those who want the kids singing from the century we're actually in, it's good news. For those who prefer the good old days of Big Band, well, maybe next week.

No word yet that I've seen on who, if anybody, is mentoring the kids, but tomorrow's results show returning alum is scheduled to be David Cook.

I will share my thoughts on the performances, of course, but not tonight. Tomorrow. But I plan to be ready to watch Cookie sing his new song and see if Megan or Scott will fall victim to the ninth-place curse or if we're gonna be surprised.

In the meantime, burn up the comment thread with all of your thoughts as the final nine take the stage. After the judges' introductions, of course, because, as we've come to find out, it is all about them this year.

See you tomorrow.

10 becomes 9: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-03-26T20:08:00.010-04:00

Whoopsie. Almost forgot the 8 p.m. start of the Motown results show. So I'll cut the introductory nonsense and get right to the point.

This is a SIMULBLOG, which means the action is being described as it's happening in the east, so if you want to be surprised where you are, it's time to make a hasty retreat. But come back!

The kids start the show with an inventive and entertaining Motown medley. Lord knows there are enough Motown songs to make a great medley.
_____

Back from commercial, we're treated to another one for Ford that they insist on calling a video. The kids applaud their efforts.

Ruuuuuuben is back. He hasn't changed a bit. And he's singing his new single. Glad to know he's recording. Nice song. Very Ruben-esque.

Time for some results, after we hear all about the kids' private jetted trip to Detroit.

Adam is told to stand. Girls scream. He gets his reviews from last night and is told to sit back down. Girls scream.

Matt is next. Girls don't scream quite so loudly. And SHOCK! Matt is in the bottom three. People boo. Loudly.

Time for Kris. He's safe after another Ryan fake-out.

Lil and Michael get to stand in tandem. Michael is sent to join Matt on the bad stools.
_____

Smokey Robinson and Joss Stone perform. And we're reminded that there are three bad stools and so far only two bad people. (Well one bad person and Matt.)
_____

Time for more results.

Allison stands. She's safe this week.

Anoop is summoned. He's safe too.

Danny's turn. No stool for him.

Scott and Megan stand together. They are reminded how crappy the judges thought they were. Scott is sent to join the stool sitters.

Randy says Matt doesn't belong in the group. Duh. Ryan sends Scott back to the safety of the sofa. _____

Simon mumbles some circular nonsense about the "judges save," before Stevie Wonder takes center stage, bringing people to their feet with a thoroughly-enjoyable medley.
_____

An hour and a half worth of commercials later, we're finally time to execute somebody. Ryan reminds us that over 36 million people voted and most of them didn't vote for Michael Sarver, who then gets to "sing for his life". Yeah, right. Like there's a snowball's chance they'll save him.

Well Michael at least you have a summer job.

Michael's singout is, well, really bad. You'd think they would let the kids sing any of the songs they've performed up to this point. The judges tease him, letting him think they're still deliberating, before Simon calls a halt to the pretense and tells him he's going home.

We get to see Michael's cute kids in his funeral video.

See ya Michael. Good luck to you.

See you next week.

it's smokey in motown...

2009-03-26T14:21:00.002-04:00

I was kinda sorta pleasantly surprised at the success Wednesday night of Idol's annual visit to Motown. I was less so about the increasingly-juvenile behavior of the judges. What would have fit neatly into 60 minutes was unnecessarily spread over two hours. And the spotlight, once again, ws not as much on the contestants, but on the periphial characters.

But that's not a new complaint.

What became clear last night, after three weeks of finals, is that the contenders are separating themselves from the pretenders. Three of the 10 could/should exit in the next few weeks, leaving behind a pretty decent top seven. Now the question is whether talent will win out over cute kids, quirkiness and sympathy.

Anyway, here are my thoughts, for what they're worth, compiled rather hastily this week but as always, listed from worst to first:

Megan Joy (For Once in my Life). Lordy lordy. I have heard better renditions of this song at the local Holiday Inn bar. From here on in, whenever somebody whips out a sub-par lounge act performance, I'm just gonna say they Megan'ed it. If this performance doesn't earn her a ticket home, I don't know what will.

Scott MacIntyre (Can't Hurry Love). I don't know if Scott couldn't keep up with the band or if the band was just a step ahead of Scott. In either case, not even the lovely background singers could save this performance. Scott has to be on borrowed time. He will be a nice addition to the tour, but his time on this show has to come to an end, sooner rather than later.

Michael Sarver (Ain't Too Proud to Beg). The bottom three are pretty much interchangeable in order, considering they turned in, by far, the worst performances of the night. So everything I said about Megan and everything I said about Scott and their future on this show, goes double for Michael, considering I said the same thing about him last week.

[insert very large gap here...]

Lil Rounds (Heatwave). Ah. The return of the Burger King backdrop. And here I thought that song had been retired after season two. Alas. I almost didn't care what Lil sang after her moving tribute to those who paved the way for her to be on that stage. But that was not a good choice. She looked the part but missed too many notes, and, as Randy said, she rushed it which left me out of breath.

Danny Gokey (Get Ready). Why when a legend suggests you, a non-legend, sing the song one way you would disregard that legend's advice with said legend in the audience is beyond me. Maybe that's why I tuned out midway through the performance.

Anoop Desai (Ooo Baby, Baby). I appreciate Anoop's decision to sing the melody and not try to frill it up. And as much as I hate to agree with Kara, he's proven he's got the vocal ability, now he just needs to switch it up, avoid another Beat It disaster and show that he can sing more than ballads, otherwise his voters are going to fall asleep at the phone.

Kris Allen (How Sweet it Is). Kris is doing everything right. He becomes better as the weeks go on. He gets more confidence as the weeks go on. He gets cuter as the weeks go on. Simon says he needs to ramp up the conceit a bit more. Nah. He's doing just fine.

Matt Giraud (Let's Get it On). Matt's stock keeps rising by the week. This was sexy, well-performed and a fine tribute to Marvin Gaye and Motown.

Allison Iraheta (Papa Was a Rolling Stone). Allison keeps proving she's really the only female in the bunch that deserves a spot in the May episodes. (She's 16!) She's already a pro.

Adam Lambert (Tracks of My Tears). I don't know if I was more impressed with Adam's take on this Smokey song or if I was about his appearance. Oh heck, both rocked. He rocked. And he almost made me forget the memory of Ring of Fire.

So that's what's on my mind. Now it's your turn.

Who should go: Megan, Michael, Scott (choose any one)
Who I want: Megan, Michael and Scott (In a shocking three-way boot)
Who will: Megan, Michael and Scott with Michael waving goodbye.

Ruben's back tonight, along with Smokey Robinson, Joss Stone and Stevie Wonder.

See you then.

it's the motown special...

2009-03-25T17:00:00.002-04:00

The ten remaining kids are visiting Detroit tonight for Idol's annual tribute to Motown music. With all of the performers safely employed for the summer, tonight's delayed episode begs a few questions:

Who will sing Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch? (Let's hope nobody.)

Will Anoop sing another Michael Jackson song? (Let's hope not.)

Will Megan still be coughing, or will all of the others be instead?

Will Kara ever learn to shut up?

Will this show ever revert to a reasonable one-hour?

And will this season ever get interesting?

Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson are the mentors this week, with Ruben Studdard and Smokey on tap to perform on Thursday's results night.

I will be sharing my thoughts, of course, but not tonight. And since the new president (who hasn't yet learned that Tuesday nights through May are, well, sorta off-limits unless your name is Simon) has thrown off our schedules, I won't be able to share until later tomorrow. But I'll see everyone Thursday night.

Until then, use up the comment thread to pull your hair out or give virtual applause.

no tour for you: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-03-18T20:37:00.010-04:00

The list of finalists is about to pared to 10 - the magic number for a nice, cushy summer job on the American Idol tour. Randy Travis will be back, paired with Carrie Underwood for an anticipated duet while we wait (and wait and wait and wait since it's another dang 15-minute show crammed into one hour) to learn which unfortunate kid will have his or her dreams of seeing the country and being a star crushed like dead leaves on the sidewalk.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing the events as they're unfolding on the East Coast, so if you want to remain a results virgin, time to catch up on today's news over at CNN, because there will be spoilers.

And the show's about to start!
_____

Ryan says the results may SHOCK us. But then the announcer also said that Carrie Underwood's return to the Idol stage will be an "epic" night. I don't know who to believe.

Over 31 million votes were phoned in last night. Ryan reminds us of the "judges save" rule. C'mon Ryan. If they save the dead one tonight that totally screws up the tour group because it forces a double elimination next week. The only guys they would waste that on at this stage would be Adam or Danny, and I doubt either of them are in line for a shocking exit yet.

We get treated to a retrospective of last night's performances. And then it's time for the group sing! Scott is at the piano as the others flock the stage with Trouble. And I actually kinda enjoyed it.
_____

Cute Ford video. Dirty Ford. Water Balloons. You get the picture.

And we get more filler with a behind-the-scene, after-the-show idea of the tears and anguish following execution night.

Ryan tells Danny to stand. He gets to go on tour.

Lil is next. She's safe.

Time for Anoop. He's safe too.

Allison and Michael are told to stand. Ryan is setting us up to be surprised, which means it's Allison. And it is. She is sent to the bad stool. But then Ryan sends Michael to join Allison on the bad stools.
_____

Brad Paisley is here. He's going to sing. I thought they learned their lesson about random artists hawking CDs without any other connection to this show in season six. They probably forgot about that around the same time they forgot their vow to reduce results shows to half an hour.
_____

Scott is told to stand. He's reminded of last night's reviews. He's told not to make any plans for the summer because he's going to be busy.

Megan is next. She is also safe.

Matt's turn. He's on the tour.

Kris is told he's safe.

Alexis and Adam are told to stand. They are reminded what the judges had to say. Alexis is sent to join the bad people on the bad stools.

Ryan sends Allison back to the safety of the sofa and the luxury of the tour.
_____

It's time for Carrie Underwood's "epic" return to the Idol stage. (Doesn't she return pretty much every year?) And she's teaming with this week's mentor Randy Travis. She has a short, totally-adorable new hairdo. They perform I Told You So for the first time live. And I actually might buy that.

Ryan gushes about Carrie's fab career as he joins the dejected stool sitters. I can't help but wonder when he's going to whip out a knife to stick in their backs just to add to their agony.

Ryan asks the judges about the "save." Simon says the judges might consider saving one of the bottom two-ers.
_____

Ryan delivers the news. Michael is safe. Alexis is out. Or is she?

Simon tells us what we already knew. And he tells Alexis her future is riding on her singout. No pressure.

Alexis looks dejected and resigned. Simon tells her she wasn't good enough. Paula gives her the rah rah speech.

No Alexis on tour. Oh well.

See ya Alexis.

Next week we're on a Wednesday/Thursday schedule because the president trumps even American Idol.

See you then.

top 11: starring carrie underwood...

2009-03-18T09:53:00.003-04:00

It always cracks me up when American Idol, in its search for the next superstar, forces kids into genre corners, giving them a limited number of song titles only to have the judges tell them they chose the wrong song from the millions and billions of choices from which they could have selected.

Some things about this show never change.

And one of those things is the annual foray into country music territory, where the kids got to celebrate Grand Ole Opry night with guest mentor Randy Travis, whom I personally adore.

Country night is often simply referred to as trainwreck night, with good reason, but Tuesday there were few really awful performances and actually a handful of pretty good ones. The worst part of the show? The self-indulgent, one-too-many, stammering judging panel that extended what could have been a well-paced 60-minute show into a far-too-long two hour marathon.

But here they are, my impressions for what they're worth and completely full of bias but as always from worst to first:

Michael Sarver (Ain't Goin' Down till the Sun Comes Up). I actually like this song, but (and I never thought I would ever say this) Josh Gracin did it better. So did LaToya London. Despite the mile-a-minute lyrics, I should be able to understand at least half of them. I couldn't. But I did like the harmonica.

Adam Lambert (Ring of Fire). Oh. My. God. Look, I like Adam. I like his theatrics. I like his attitude. I did not like this. At. All.

Scott MacIntyre (Wild Angels). Why Paula suggested Scott divorce himself from his piano is totally beyond me, and Simon was right to argue otherwise. But Simon was also right that Scott is starting to become predictable in his song selection and delivery.

Alexis Grace (Jolene). This performance might have been better had it had less blues infusion and more tempo. Kara chastised Alexis' song choice, offering up more Carrie Underwood tunes, and as much as I would have groaned at even more Underwood songs, and as much as I hate to admit it, Kara had a point.

Megan Joy (Walkin' After Midnight). I'm giving Megan major points for (A) not singing a Carrie Underwood song (B) acknowledging the legendary Patsy Cline and (C) singing despite a severe case of the flu. I know that she wanted to put her own spin on this classic, and I appreciate that effort, but it wasn't exactly my favorite version of this song.

Lil Rounds (Independence Day). I always think, even though many people disagree, that when one particular song is so closely identified with a previous Idol, it's dangerous to try it, because the comparisons (while possibly unfair) are inevitable. I know she was trying to do something different, and when she hit the hard notes she was great, but she's no Carrie Underwood.

Danny Gokey (Jesus Take the Wheel). Who didn't see this song choice coming a mile away? First a disclaimer: I detest this song, no matter who sings it. The opening verse is plodding even by Carrie Underwood. But I have to remind Kara the music expert: it's usually unwise for the kids to just throw away boring and cloying verses and just show up to sing the chorus because it's "better."

Anoop Desai (Always on my Mind). I really liked how Anoop didn't try to muddy this song up with a bunch of unnecessary riffs and ruffles. It's the best I've heard from him and this performance should land him a summer job on the tour.

Kris Allen (To Make You Feel My Love). I was not a big fan of Kris until this stripped down, heartfelt performance. The boy really can sing. This was just really really nice.

Matt Giraud (So Small). I'm glad that Simon finally acknowledged that this has turned into the Adam and Danny show and recognized the terrific performance turned in in the anchor spot. Matt has now been compared to Justin Timberlake and Michael Buble. Next week they will compare him to Carrie Underwood. Then we'll know he's legit.

Allison Iraheta (Blame it on Your Heart). I love Allison. (She's 16.) And I think she can take on pretty much any genre and shine. So maybe she was a little mush-mouthed in parts, but overall it was an energetic, fun and sparkling performance.

So those are my thoughts. Now the big question. Who comes thisclose but fails to make the tour. According to Dial Idol the girls are in the most danger, which I don't understand. So it's anyone's guess.

But here's my prediction:

Who should: Michael, Adam, Scott
Who I want: Michael, Scott, Megan
Who will: Michael, Megan, Alexis

All signs point to a female ouster, but I'm sticking with Michael, who should be the one listening to Carrie Underwood.

Tonight we'll know. And we'll be entertained by Carrie Underwood.

See you then.

it's grand ole opry night!...

2009-03-17T16:04:00.002-04:00

And Randy Travis is mentoring the kids. Oh I am anxiously awaiting Adam and Allison's take on country music.

I will be watching and I will be sharing my thoughts on the performances, but not tonight. Sometime tomorrow.

So, if you want, use up the comment thread to hoop and holler as Simon inevitably tells at least half of the performers that he "just doesn't get" it.

Oh. And Happy St. Patrick's Day!

13 becomes 11: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-03-11T20:28:00.009-04:00

Twists and turns and executions. Oh My! And it's gonna be a kill two dreams with one episode!

Kelly Clarkson is scheduled to show up and of course we're all waiting on pins and needles to find out what the producers have in mind this week to shake the format of this season's show.

Because THIS is American Idol, and this is a SIMULBLOG, where I'm typing as the action is unfolding on the East Coast, with a publish at every commercial, so if you don't want to be spoiled, now's the time to go visit somewhere other than here. But come back to share your thoughts in the comment thread.

Because the show is getting ready to start...

Well obviously they're backing out on their promise to shorten the Wednesday result shows to 30 minutes, because our first execution is scheduled for the full hour. Guess it takes longer to whack two than it does just to eliminate one.

Ryan says 33 million votes were called in, the most ever at this stage of the show. Of course it could be that half of them were people misdialing trying to get through to that sex line that caused Alexis to get that weird number.

Ryan explains the new rule. They're giving the judges one - and only one- save for the season. Ryan invokes the names of Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry. It requires a unanimous vote from the panel, and once it's been used, the deal is over. If the judges use the "get out of elimination free" card, no one will leave, but a double elimination will follow the next week.

Or at least I think that's how it goes.

And we get a medley of Jackson 5 hits. Sounds decent. Looks terrible. Scott's the best dancer of the group.
_____

I gotta get this off my chest. What on earth makes them think I'm going to sit through the commercials just to see a snippet of somebody's audition? If I wanted to watch the auditions, I would have watched them when they ran in January. There. I feel better.

We get a retrospective of last night's performances, followed by chit chat and the Crappy Ford Commercial.

Ryan starts with Michael Sarver. He is reminded of his reviews and is told that he's safe.

Allison is next. She's safe too.

It's Jasmine's turn. She does not look pleased. And for good reason. Ryan sends her to the seal.

Matt G. is told to stand and starts heading to join Jasmine. He's told to sit down, because he's not going anywhere.

Time for Kris. Megan is also told to stand. Kris is told to sit; Megan is told to join Jasmine. One of them is safe; the other isn't. Megan gets sent back to the sofa.

Jasmine is heading home and Ryan pretends like the judges might actually pull out their safe card. Meanwhile, she has to sing the song that sunk her.

Sometimes this show sucks.

Randy breaks the news that she is, indeed, finally gone. She cries like any teenager would.
____

Random thought: I watched Milk last night. Fabulous film. Well-deserved Oscar for Sean Penn.

It's time for Kanye West to sing. And he did.
_____

Time to start killing people again.

Scott is told to stand. He is safe.

Alexis' turn. She's safe too.

Danny is told to stand. The tension mounts... Danny is safe. Whew. That was close.

Time for Anoop. And he starts walking to the stage before even being told to.

Adam is told to stand. Tension mounts again. Adam barely gets through. Whew. Another close one.

Jorge and Lil are left. Jorge gets his reviews and then Lil. Jorge is sent to join Anoop.
_____

It's time for Kelly! Ryan says every week another Idol alum will be returning. That's great to hear. Note to Idol Producers: It is possible to assassinate one person's dreams, do a crappy group sing, show a crappy Ford commercial AND hear a performance from an alum in one half hour. Really. It is.
______

Anoop and Jorge wait center stage. Anoop is told he's safe, sending Jorge to join Jasmine at the garbage heap of last-place Idol finishers.

He gets to sing the song that killed him while the judges "discuss" whether to throw him a lifeline. I think we all know how that's gonna turn out.

Simon sums it up with a "no." So long Jorge.

See you next week.

might this be the twist...

2009-03-11T19:16:00.001-04:00

Ken Warwick is playing the hint game with Ryan Seacrest. If this is the twist, then they're right: the voters ain't gonna like it.

it's michael jackson night...

2009-03-11T10:26:00.003-04:00

I wasn't expecting a whole lot going into the first finals performance episode of season 8, and, frankly, I didn't get a whole lot, but happily I didn't feel the urge to throw heavy objects at the television either as the top 13 took on the Michael Jackson songbook.

Most of the kids took on the lesser-known MJ songs, which was a smart move, because it's been proven time and again that unless an Idol contestant takes a mega-hit and totally switches it up, anything else ends up as a cheap imitation.

We've been promised a double elimination tonight, plus a "huge twist" that will involve the judges, pretty much change the format of the show and is likely to totally tick off the viewers. Personally, considering the excitement of this season, my hope is that the twist is a six-way elimination and a season shortened by approximately five weeks, but I'm not holding my breath.

Nevertheless, here are my thoughts on the two-hour, 13-person live episode as always from worst to first.

Anoop Desai (Beat It). We all know it's never a good idea to choose a song whose lyrics might imply leaving, going home, getting axed, etc. But if you're going to select one of those numbers, it's wise to knock the performance out of the park. Anoop chose to "beat it" and to do it poorly. Enough said.

Jorge Nunez (Never Can Say Goodbye). Even Jorge's good looks couldn't save this performance from causing me to nod off a few times. I don't necessarily agree with the judges that the song was too "old-fashioned". I thought it was just boring. And remember Jorge, the truth is that YES, you can say goodbye.

Jasmine Murray (I'll Be There). Jasmine is one of the most beautiful young women this show has ever had, but she needs some better song selection advice. The notes were just too big for her, the song was plodding, repetitive and monotonous. Of the four wildcards, I felt her selection was least deserving, and she did nothing on that stage to change my mind.

Megan Joy Corkrey (Rockin' Robin). I honestly thought Ryan was joking when he announced that Megan had chosen this song. But at least I didn't fall asleep. It was cute in a juvenile sort of way, but novelty songs never work on this show, so why she chose it is a mystery that may never be solved.

Michael Sarver (You Are Not Alone). Once more we get reminded that Michael is an oil rigger, and honestly the guy didn't have to even sing. His little girl with the "vote for my daddy" shirt would have been enough to get me to the phone, if I were inclined to dial. Again, the song selection left me scratching my head - surely MJ has more tunes from which to choose. But Michael turned in a perfectly serviceable performance that should keep his little girl in the audience to charm me.

Alexis Grace (Dirty Diana). Paula cautions Alexis to watch the "over-singing." In parts, Alexis gave new meaning to "over-singing." In other parts she was good. I like her so far, so I'm willing to give a little latitude, but one more mostly-shrill performance like this will test my patience. I'm fickle like that.

Kris Allen (Remember the Time). I like this guy and not just because he's cute. He radiates genuine, and that's rare sometimes. I enjoyed this performance even though I did agree somewhat that the guitar was at times distracting.

Scott McIntyre (Keep the Faith). Finally we get to watch Scott at the piano. (Did anyone ever figure out why this year the kids weren't allowed instruments on the eyeball stage?) It's becoming evident that Scott will be our inspirational song selector this season, which will be fine for a short time, but might soon become cloying.

Matt Giraud (Human Nature). Again, I was glad to see Matt at the piano. I still think Matt might be the one to come out of nowhere sometime in the next few weeks. I was a bit offended that Simon felt the need to compare his performance to the one that preceded him, because the songs and the performances were completely different, and Matt's delivery of this tune was more than acceptable and deserving of praise.

Lil Rounds (The Way You Make Me Feel). What a terrific beginning to the show. (And personally I liked her outfit.) It's obvious Lil is a TCO for at least a top 4 finish, but she did nothing to even remotely prove she doesn't deserve that designation. It was fun, upbeat and and thoroughly enjoyable.

Danny Gokey (PYT). Refreshingly, we get to know something about Danny that didn't include a mention of his late wife. Hopefully they've gotten the message that the viewers really only need one brick wall to get a headache. Repeated brick walls falling on our heads just makes us angry. I'm not a huge Gokey fan, but his stock rose a little with this energetic (I like the dancing) and terrific outing.

Allison Iraheta (Give In To Me). With respect to last season's Amanda Overmyer, Allison is clearly the first truly talented rocker chick this show has ever seen. And did you know she is only 16?? This performance held my attention from beginning to end.

Adam Lambert (Black Or White). Yes it was over the top. But Adam is over the top, and that's part of his appeal. And while I do not agree that this performance was leagues beyond the performances that preceded and followed it, it was the most orginial and best of the night.

So we're going to lose two? And somehow the judges are going to be involved? I've heard reports of a sing-off with the judges negating the votes (kinda like Hollywood week and the 2000 presidential election), but since I have no clue what's in store, I'll just go with what I know.

Who should: Anoop, Jorge, Jasmine
Who I want: Anoop, Jorge, Jasmine
Who will: Jorge, Jasmine, Kris

I think we'll lose one of each flavor: Say goodbye Jorge. Say so long Jasmine.

So...what do you think?

13 is not a lucky number...

2009-03-10T18:30:00.002-04:00

Thirteen? Weren't twelve enough? What, they want to kill us?

While I'm thrilled that 13 slots allowed Anoop to get through despite the glut of male finalists and Idol's notorious need for gender equity, I would just like to know how many of these performance shows are going to stretch to the two-hour-too-long format.

Of course it means a double elimination probably during the first week. Very season one-ish of them.

And we're being promised (or threatened with, depending on your perspective) a huge surprise twist and a couple of unannounced guests for tomorrow's results night. And that's in addition to the already-announced return of Kelly Clarkson who is hawking her new CD which hit the stores today.

And it seems tonight's theme is the music of Michael Jackson. (One warning: if any one of them dares cover the Cook cover of Cornell cover of Billie Jean, I will personally reach my hand through the television screen and disembowel them. Just sayin'.)

First of all, I want to thank all of you for your well wishes last week when I was a guest at the local hospital. It was my first-ever stay in one of those places and I feel very certain that I do not want to ever in my entire life patronize another. (And yes, I got Jello on every tray and yes the cafeteria just got it right back.) I especially want to thank you for the play-by-play in the comment section. I enjoyed that version much more than I enjoyed anything I watched on the TiVo.

I am working at getting better. It's going to be awhile before I'm anywhere near 100%, and I know this, so I'm trying to be patient. (HA! Medical pun!) I do know that I will tell the world how much I detest tonight's performances, but it won't be tonight. Sometime tomorrow. But I'm making every plan to simulblog the Wednesday show.

So eat up the comment section, hooping and hollering as this not-yet-impressive-in-even-the-remotest-sense season gets underway. By this time last season I had downloaded at least five performances from iTunes. This year I've spent more time deleting episodes from my DVR.

It's going to be a long spring.

Have fun. See you tomorrow!

it's a cursed season...

2009-03-03T08:01:00.003-05:00

At least for me anyway. I started the season with a cold that wouldn't go away and now I'm ending the semi-final part of the season in the hospital.

No...I don't think it was Tatiana or Normund who put me here.

I'm not going to even pretend that that I'm going to watch tonight's episode, at least not until I return home. So everybody needs to hang out at Dave's.

12 minus 9 plus three equals six...

2009-02-26T19:58:00.007-05:00

And that's how many kids we will have in the pool at the end of tonight's second result episode.

After yet another excuse for a performance show, we're going to whittle the field a little more. Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a simulblog, where I'm typing as the action is unfolding on the East Coast, so if you are in the West and want to be surprised, it's time to leave.

If you want to be spoiled, though, hang out. Because the show has begun.

Ryan starts the show off in the typical fashion, before dramatically asking America "what have you done?" just as he gazes at Normund Gentle, the guy I have a crush on.

And after reminding us how each of the kids got to this point, we're treated to a group sing!! It has a lot of snappy dance moves and even more bad singing. Whew. That finally ends.

And Ryan throws us to a commercial by promising an unseen audition when we return.

_____

Random thought: I love the Etrade commercials with the little babies. Can't help it.

We get to see last night's highlights. Oh yea! And here I've tried so hard to avoid them. Alas.

Ryan asks a selection of the kids assorted time-filling questions. Danny, Alexis and Michael are sitting behind three brand new shiny stools.

Alison is summoned to join Ryan. She gets reminding of how great the judges thought she was. She is sent to the side and Jessie is called. She is also shuffled aside and Matt B. is brought up.

Randy is asked which of the three will make the 12. He hopes that it's Alison. And it is. And she sings.
_____

Alison says she is "so happy." And we're happy for her. Megan is brought to the stage. She gets her reviews. Kris is also at the stage and gets his reviews. Both are shuffled to the side.

Matt G. and Jeanine are put through the same treatment. One of them is a finalist. Paula is asked which one she thinks it is. She says she's torn between three of the four of them.

Ryan puts Jeanine out of her misery with a trip back to the sofa. Matt is also sent away, leaving Kris and Megan are left. Kara starts babbling and goes on about two days too long. Kris Allen is given the good news.

And he gets to sing again.
_____

Okay, now I'm getting a little angry. There is absolutely no reason for these results shows to be more than 30 minutes. They named two of the three, they've done their group sing. And now they're just killing time by rerunning the "What a Wonderful World" retrospective that they showed on the season premiere.

Pardon me while I gripe.

Brooke is back. She's sitting at a keyboard and gives a rah rah speech to the contestants. She looks good and sounds just like Brooke. It's an okay song, very Carole King-ish. Hopefully she'll get lots of downloads. It's available on iTunes, you know.
_____

The rest of the cast is brought to the eyeball. Mishavonna says she stands by her song choice. Kai says he has no regrets. Jasmine says she has no clue what's going to happen. Those three are given the bad news and their pink slips to the sofa, leaving us with Nick/Normund and Adam.

And we have a break...
_____

When we return the guys are given their reviews from the night before. Nick/Normund is told he is leaving and Adam is sticking around. And Adam gets to sing. Again.

And with that we're at six, half of the final field.

Next week we have a performance episode on Tuesday with the results the next night, followed by the Thursday Wildcard episode, details of which are sketchy at best. I'll be seeing you then.

But in the meantime, what are your thoughts of this week and this season in general? Leave them in the comments!

crazy days and normund...

2009-02-26T16:50:00.004-05:00

I hate to admit this, but I'm gonna anyway. Outside of what I've caught from last night online, I haven't watched the show, and really don't intend to. (Mainly because my day has been crazed, and I can't squeeze enough time in to watch and write and still be ready for the results.

Besides, y'all have convinced me the show, once again, stunk up the joint.

So I'll give you a brief, but heartfelt, review of what I have been able to see.

I think Alison is a lock to advance. She stole the show and pretty much, at least for me, is my favorite going into the final 12. Adam put on a good, but like Randy said, manic performance that just was too big for that small stage. I wish he would have saved that one for the big stage and brought it down a notch, but hey, he's going to advance based on face time alone. Plus he's talented, so he deserves to move on.

The others I've watched were, well, average to below average. But the one thing I want, even though I doubt I'll get it tonight, is for Nick/Normund to advance. Yes, I agree, he has no place on this show. His act is better suited for the overall variety show like America's Got Talent.

However, when I can't even must enough enthusiasm for this season to sit down and watch and can't garner, for the first time writing this blog, enough energy to even want to review the whole shebang, well, I need something more than mediocre singers singing karaoke.

I want to be entertained. And in all the times today when I could have caught some of the other contestants, I rewatched (and laughed again) Normand making his song his own.

This season is bordering on Season Six dull. And just like season six, when Sanjaya pretty much carried the first half of the season, not because he was a talented singer (because he wasn't) but because he was unpredictable in a sea of predictability. People tuned in to see what he would do, and the show didn't tank. Normand will save this season in the same way. He won't win, nor should he. But he will sell tour tickets. And he may just make me want to watch, if for nothing else, than to see how far he can push Simon into high blood pressure meds.

And four judges is too many. One of them needs to go.

I will see you tonight! Brooke White is the returning alumna hawking her new iTunes offering. Hope she remembers her lyrics.

On second thought, no I don't.

12 up, nine down...

2009-02-25T18:51:00.002-05:00

It's time for group 2, which has to be better as a whole than last week's group one. Has to be. Can't be much worse.

One presumes the theme for tonight is the same as last week, the very broad Billboard #1 songs, which is appropriate, and one can only hope that tonight's semi-finalists remember that they have one shot at advancing so now is not the time to let the nerves take control.

I will probably not be able to watch the full two-hours tonight (which is why God made TiVo) so tomorrow I'll weigh in on the performances, but the ones I'm looking for specifically are Adam Lambert, Jasmine Murray with hopefully a good one from Kai Kalama. (I'm not holding out too much hope for this year's crop of females.) I also can't wait to see what Nick Mitchell/Normand Gentle has in store for us.

So use up the comment thread to share your reviews. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon and, of course, tomorrow night, when we execute another nine people.

See you then.

the first three: a SIMULBLOG!...

2009-02-18T19:56:00.008-05:00

We're going to watch three people leave happy and nine people leave with their heads in their hands as they examine the chards of their shattered dreams strewn all around their feet which have nowhere to go except to the closest bus station.

God I love execution night.

And I love that they're having it during family hours so that kids can watch the massacre and old people like me can stay up without missing our 9 p.m. bedtimes.

Okay, so that's only gonna last through the semi-finals, but a girl can enjoy little pleasures while they last.

This is a live post, also known around these parts as a SIMULBLOG, when I'm writing as I'm watching with a publish at every important break, so if you are on the west coast and you want to be spoiled, now is the time to exit stage left, because by the end of the post you're gonna know who's staying and who's going home to wait on the wildcard invite.

Ryan tells us that 24 million votes were phoned in last night, before he gives us a refresher on how this new season's semi-finals are gonna work. Yeah we know Ryan. Three stay. Nine don't. This show could last only 14.5 minutes if they would only avoid the judges' self-congratulation and contrived drama. But whatever.

We get a review on how group one got to Hollywood and to the eyeball stage. Then we're treated to a GROUP SING! Thankfully it's just 12 of them, not the whole 36, although that would not have surprised me. God I love cheesy dancing!

THIS is American Idol!

_____

Oh good. We get reminded of the trainwreck that was the night before. I choose not to watch.

The kids get asked for their own reviews of their own performances. They hem. They haw. Some of them obviously didn't watch the show.

Ryan shows us the three good stools which will be filled with three lucky butts.

He brings Casey to the stage, who says she agreed with the judges that she shouldn't have tried to sing Sting. Randy says she needs to go. She does. Bye Casey.

Stephen is next. He kinda sorta agrees that he chose the wrong song. Kara says he needs to go. He does. Bye Stephen.

Alexis is asked to come on down. I like her hat. Paula reminds Alexis that she was marvelous. And she stays and gets to sit on one of the shiny stools. And she gets to sing. Hey! The winners are gonna sing again. Now THAT is a twist.
_____

This show could be about nine minutes long if it weren't for the commercials. Ricky and Jackie are brought center stage. Ricky is sent away. So is Jackie.

Anoop and Michael are asked to join Ryan. They get reminded of last night's reviews. One of them is advancing. And it's Michael. Anoop is sent to await another callback, which I'm sure he'll get.

Michael gets to sing again.

This show would be about three minutes long if it weren't for the encores.
_____

Oh I hope they keep their promise of reducing this season's results show to 30 minutes.

We get to see some highlights of the Disneyworld extravaganza, ending with a snippet of the David Cook/Carrie Underwood duet, all of which can be seen here. It really is good.

Michael Johns and Carly Smithson remind us of what a great season last year was. They team up for The Letter.
_____

Ann Marie is told to stand. She's reminded how much the judges hated her. Brent does the same. So does Stevie. Nothing like a mass killing! Randy says none of them deserves to stay. And, predictably, none of them do. Oh the carnage.

Danny and Tatiana are left. Both are brought center stage. Paula says the last spot should go to Danny. But we have to wait until "after the break."
_____

Both are reminded of the songs they sang. One will get a stool and the other will get a wildcard. Mark my words. Danny makes it through. Tatiana, in Tatiana fashion, has a Tatiana mini-meltdown and is assisted, sorta, off the stage by the other girls who also got the ax. She will return, girls. Trust me.

Danny gets to close the show with his reprise. And we await next week.

Remember, President Obama will be taking the stage next Tuesday, so we'll be on a Wednesday/Thursday schedule. I like President Obama. I think he will advance.

See you then...

36 minus 12 minus 9...

2009-02-18T10:51:00.004-05:00

We're down to just 36, says Ryan Seacrest. That's easy for him to say, before the first twelve survivors start squawking.

Tuesday night's live competition opener won't go down as the worst semi-final episode certainly, but few of the first group gave anyone much reason to burn up the phone lines.

The judging panel is all weirded out. There are four of them now, Simon's on the left rather than the right. But at least Paula is normal. Paula-type normal that is.

Three of the kids will survive to sing again. There are a couple who might grab a wildcard invitation, but considering that this season, unlike the four seasons that preceded it, the kids have really one shot at stardom, which makes some of their performances and many of their song choices questionable at best and totally odd at worst.

But after a couple of watches (and a few clicks of the get-this-off-my-TV button) here are my thoughts, for what they're worth and, as usual, from worst to first:

Stephen Fowler (Rock With You). My mother always taught me that when you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all. Hi Mom.

Stevie Wright (You Belong With Me). Stevie decides to sing Taylor Swift because "it's really young" like she is, being 17 and all. Ever had a surge of pain in your head that only lasted really seconds but felt like agony for a week? Yeah. Me too. So long Stevie. Be sure to pick up your parting gift on your way out.

Jackie Tohn (A Little Less Conversation). I keep having to look up how to spell Jackie's name. I don't think after today I'll have to do that. After having just left the gym, the girl massacres this Elvis tune. Simon uses the word "clown." I use the word "gone."

Casey Carlson (Every Little Thing She Does is Magic). Casey wants to be Jordin Sparks. So she sings Sting. Or tries to. Even Jordin doesn't sing Sting. And Jordin can sing.

Ann Marie Boskovich (Natural Woman). Ann Marie chooses this song, she says, to let people know "who she is." And she is more Carole King than Aretha Franklin. Randy compares her version to the versions that have been turned in on the idol stage, and while I agree that Ann Marie doesn't have the big voices of Clarkson and Hudson, she wasn't trying to emulate Aretha. Simon thinks she ruined her chance. He may be right about tonight's vote, but I'm not entirely convinced for the competition as a whole.

Brent Keith (Hicktown). Brent does his best to secure the token country slot. Kara and Paula accuse him of playing it safe. Simon says he blew his chance with an "unforgettable" effort. Brent tells Simon that country fans won't forget the effort. I don't know how many country fans vote, though. Since I like variety in the end, I hope he pulls it through, but I'm not banking on a vote advance, but it would surprise me if he's one of tonight's three. If not, the producers would be fools not to bring him back in March.

Anoop Desai (Angel of Mine). I really like this guy, but wasn't over the moon about this song selection or his performance of it. Luckily he's had enough exposure to have enough credit in the bank to survive the night, but considering the qualified love coming from the judging panel, if he doesn't survive tonight, he'll make it through the wildcard round.

Michael Sarver (I Don't Wanna Be). Who can't root for an Everyman oil rigger with a lovely wife and cutie-pie baby who sings Gavin DeGraw. Who? Even Simon asks America to pick up the phone and "give him another shot." I hope they do.

Tatiana Del Toro (Saving All My Love for You). The country's favorite punching bad turns in a suprisingly subdued and pleasant performance. Simon hits it on the head when he observes that Tatiana just "wants to be famous." But, of the women in this group, she proves herself worthy of a place in the semi-finals. It remains to be seen if the combined forces of the VFTW crowd, who've crowned her queen and the average voters can pull her through, but she is an interesting character and sometimes that's what this show needs.

Ricky Braddy (A Song For You). Again I'm taking Simon's side. I really liked this interpretation of this beautiful song, but I'm not putting it in my list of top semi-final performances. Paula reminds him (as if he needs reminding) that Ricky was one of the sacraficial lambs in the Bikini Girl/Tatiana shows thus far, which could cost him in votes. But if he doesn't advance on votes, I think he's a wildcard pick for certain.

Alexis Grace (Never Loved a Man). A "dirtied-up" Alexis takes the eyeball stage with partially pink hair, a black teddi masquerading as a dress and the palest skin in the competition. And despite a few flat moments that ultimately are inconsequential, she restores my faith in this group. Simon invokes the holy name of Kelly. If she doesn't advance by votes, I'll dye my hair pink.

Danny Gokey (Hero). Danny is the lucky first recipient of the pimp spot, wrapping up the show with Mariah's classic and pretty much wrapping up a spot in the final 12. Paula stands. Randy says blazing hot. Kara screams into her microphone. And Simon throws some cold water on the hyperbole. And maybe the judging for Danny was a bit over the top, but on a mediocre, sometimes-painful night, it was okay.

Danny and Alexis should make it through effortlessly, but I never underestimate the voters. Who will fill out the third spot is anyone's guess.

So, who's your pick?

it's LIVE tonight...

2009-02-17T17:23:00.003-05:00

It's the first live episode of the eighth season, and I'm really trying to summon up some enthusiasm for what's to come. I don't know why I'm rather ambivalent about this year, but I was ho-humming around this time last season and it ended as one of my favorite years. Here's hoping the same will be true this time around.

Twelve of the kids will take the stage tonight, six guys and six women. Then we vote. Tomorrow night at 8 p.m., three of them will advance to the big stage: the top vote getter and the top voted guy and the top voted gal.

Competing in round one are Alexis Grace, Ann Marie Boskovich, Anoop Desai, Brent Keith, Casey Carlson, Danny Gokey, Jackie Tohn, Michael Sarver, Ricky Braddy, Stephan Fowler, Stevie Wright and the ubiquitous Tatiana Del Toro. (Gosh, trying to remember 36 names is a tall order...) If you're having the same issues placing faces with names with voices, here's a link to their bios.

As they did last year, all of the songs will be available for purchase on iTunes. If you care to purchase, clicking through the link on my sidebar earns me a whole nickel for each one you buy. (Hey, times are tough. I'd rent the pup out to stud if he weren't, uh, altered. I may do it anyway.)

Reports are that Michael Johns and Carly Smithson will team up for a duet tomorrow night. One presumes that will be before nine people watch their dreams of superstardom smashed in front of millions. Or not.

I plan to post my views and reviews tomorrow. Don't forget to click over to Dave's to see who he loves and loathes. (Well, we're hoping for no cable or other outages for Dave this week anyway.) Eat up the comment section to post your thoughts or leave them in the shoutbox.

Are you ready?

forget what you saw...

2009-02-12T06:04:00.004-05:00

On Tuesday she forgot her words and pretty much fell to pieces. And she was allowed to survive. And on the non-elevator but fancy chair show, she was put through to the top 36. But WAIT!

We have our first pre-competition casualty. Joanna Pacitti, the stage and recording veteran, has been canned "to avoid the appearance of impropriety." She has been replaced by Felicia Barton.

elevator, chair, death...

2009-02-11T19:28:00.005-05:00

After all these weeks of ~~agony~~ waiting, tonight's the night of the famed elevator ride, chair walk of death. Thirty-six people will survive, twelve of whom will ~~kill~~ entertain us next week.

Personally, I'm dealing with thunderstorms that are causing my lights to flicker, so I'm hoping the cable holds it together, and I'm still dealing with the virus from hell that's got me looking up exorcism in the yellow pages, so it's an open thread so that we can compare, contrast, criticize Tatiana and condemn the judges who continually send her through.

Knock yourself out.

say goodbye to hollywood...

2009-02-10T18:53:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow the semi-finalists will be revealed, after their long and agonizing elevator journey and walk to the chair. But tonight we get to see their last, pathetic attempts to tempt and sway the judges.

And it's another open thread so that we can all moan or applaud their efforts. (I will be switching between Idol and the Dog Show as I root for the always-robbed Havanese to win the toy group.)

And while you're waiting, here's a scathing critique of this year's Hollywood escapades.

So, the floor is yours...

it's hollywood baby...

2009-02-03T19:09:00.003-05:00

Finally. No more auditions. So to speak.

It's Hollywood. Hell Week. Time for catfights and tears. Heroics and humiliation. It's what we endure the auditions for.

Finally.

It's another open thread, so have at it. I just hope there are group numbers.

spoiler alert: top 36 leaked?...

2009-02-01T08:22:00.003-05:00

As was the case last year, reliable sources have verified (in that spoiler type of way) which 36 lucky people (barring arrests, of course) will survive Hollywood and start performing live in about two weeks.

Don't click the link if you don't want to be spoiled!

MSNBC is reporting what Vote for the Worst reported days ago. And MJ has gone one step further, just in case you've forgotten who these people are or, like me, watched only approximately 13.439% of the auditions. She has most of the rumored semi-finalists linked to their audition footage.

Now at least I know who to look for during the Hollywood episodes, where I hope they resurrect those magical group numbers...

auditions are (almost) over...

2009-01-29T19:03:00.003-05:00

Well, they will be over after tonight's two-hour extravaganza of screamers, screechers and, well, the others.

Hollywood starts next week! Couldn't come soon enough.

I'm still digging out from the snow. The forecast warned us of eight inches. We got over a foot - the biggest snowfall in 50 years.

But for now it's an open thread for all of us to share our thoughts and complaints. Have fun.

And I'll see you next week.

auditions take five: it's almost over...

2009-01-27T19:34:00.003-05:00

We're in the last stretch of auditions before we hit Hollywood. I don't think I'm the only one saying THANK HEAVENS!

On the homefront, it's snowing. A lot. And I still have a cold. But it's getting better, and I thank you for all of the well wishes.

I won't be watching live, so I'm counting on your commentary to tell me who to watch for when I watch the recording.

So it's open season on the wannabes! Have at it...

auditions take four: when will this end?...

2009-01-21T19:36:00.003-05:00

It's another night, another day, new president and new round of auditions. I am anxiously awaiting the end of them, personally. The auditions, that is. Not the new president.

It's open because I have a cold, and I'm taking to my bed, hopped up on cold medication and tons of self-pity.

Have fun.

auditions take three: it's open...

2009-01-20T17:37:00.002-05:00

It's another night of auditions, but it's a first in Washington, DC. I will be celebrating our new first family, recording Idol and waiting for your reviews.

It's an open thread. Help me out. Unless you're watching history too.

I love America!

auditions take two: another open thread...

2009-01-14T19:41:00.002-05:00

We only have a handful more episodes of the craziness. Who stands out? Who should be thrown out? Who should have never been allowed near humans, much less on air?

It's another open thread for the second audition episode. Have at it.

it's an open thread...

2009-01-13T18:29:00.003-05:00

As we usher in the eighth season of our favorite television talent competition, it's time to cheer and jeer the first groups of wannabes.

So because I won't be blogging the audition episodes, it's open season. This is the place for all of us to pick our early favorites, laugh at the comedy plants, laugh at the judges or just laugh at each other.

Because THIS is American Idol. And this is an open thread.

Y'all have at it.

wait...season 8??...

2009-01-08T14:19:00.002-05:00

Seems like just two weeks ago we were debating Clay v. Ruben or just yesterday arguing over the Davids. Looks like this season we'll be discussing the judging merits of Paula v. Kara as a fourth judge, Kara DioGuardi, will join the judging panel this season.

Nigel Lythgoe will be a no-show this go-round, as he is off making his fortune elsewhere, and in his absence the show format has undergone some new changes and brought back some old favorites. The schedule is in the sidebar to the right, but here's a rundown.

The eighth season premieres Tuesday, Jan. 13 with the traditional parade of auditioners. The audition episodes (which are promised to highlight more the valid contenders from the pranksters) will continue for three weeks or seven episodes, wrapping up Thursday, Jan. 29. We'll get to see more than 15 minutes of Hollywood in exchange for the abbreviated audition airings (thank you!), with three full episodes of Hell Week, followed by the elevator/long walk/chair celebration on Wednesday, Feb. 11.

We're flashing back to the days of old this season, with 36 semi-finalists chosen from Hollywood instead of the 24 of the past few seasons. Each of the semi-finalists will perform just once for a chance to advance to the final 12, a departure from the three weeks of performances we've seen from each of them since season four.

The semi-final episodes begin Tuesday, Feb. 17 with twelve of the 36 performing. Another twelve will perform the following week, and the remaining twelve will sing the third week. Results nights will be Wednesdays with three finalists chosen by popular vote: one male, one female, and a third determined by the vote, regardless of gender.

By the end of the semi-finals we will have nine finalists, determined by votes. And we will see the return of the WILDCARD episode (YAY!!) where the judges will choose the remaining three finalists.

Those twelve will try to become the next Kelly, Ruben, Fantasia, Carrie, Taylor, Jordin or David, beginning Tuesday, March 10.

As usual I will not start regular blogging until the semi-final round, but I do plan to catch the audition episodes to see if they're going to live up to their promise of more grit and less grime. Your commentary is always welcomed and appreciated.

It's good to be back!

the tarts are about to pop!...

2008-06-28T13:46:00.000-04:00

I am recovering from a catastrophic computer failure. (And still awaiting word on whether my entire season of AI 7 - not to mention my iTunes library, all of my files and assorted other goodies - can be retrieved my from hard drive.) So this will pretty much be it for now.

Just a reminder: the American Idol Pop Tarts, err, I mean Top Ten Tarts, will start their tour on Tuesday, July 1 in Arizona. If anyone has tickets and wants to share their reviews with the rest of us, please feel free to contact me at xzasporated1 [at] gmail.com, or leave me a comment in this entry and email your review to that address, and I will happily upload it to the blog.

It was a great season, and as always, I thank all of you for your visits, your comments and sharing the season with me. Hard as it is to believe on this 80-degree day, but January will be here before we know it.

And of course I will be back in the fall, when it's time for David Cook's debut CD to drop.

david domination...

2008-05-28T15:58:00.004-04:00

The David Cook World Domination has begun.

Okay, maybe not the world, but certainly the Billboard charts.

Shattering Hannah Montana's debut record of six titles on the Billboard Hot 100, David Cook debuts on the chart with 11 titles showing up on this week's list, the first time that the Idol's downloads have been included. (We all knew that between the Davids, they were probably taking up a huge chunk, but now we have that verified.)

Cook's eleven titles also is the most titles on the 100 list since the Beatles claimed 14 spots back in 1964.

Cook's domination is, of course, spearheaded by Time of My Life, his coronation song - magic rainbows and all - which will debut at #3 on the Hot 100 and #1 on Digital Downloads. Fourteen titles will land on the Hot Digital Songs list.

David Archuleta isn't doing too shabbily either. Three of his titles will be included on both lists.

For more information, find the article here.

an idol-free tuesday. ACK!!...

2008-05-27T11:56:00.005-04:00

It's Tuesday. Do you know where your Idol is?

Oh the first Tuesday after the last Wednesday is so melancholy. On one hand, it's a relief that the competition is over and a winner has been crowned, but on the other hand I'm always left with the feeling: What the hell am I gonna do on Tuesdays now??

So, I'm hauling back out a custom that I abandoned last season - because I prefer to think season six was just a nightmare that I've long forgotten.

Yes, that's right. I'm gonna count down my fave performances of the year. Remember, they're my favorites, not necessarily the "best." And while I could easily fill all ten spots with David Cook, I'm going to impose a limit of three performances per contestant in the top ten. Otherwise it would be all David Cook. With honorable mentions going to, well, David Cook.

Here we go.

Honorable Mentions: We Are the Champions (Michael Johns). And So It Goes (David Archuleta). One Rock & Roll Too Many (Syesha Mercado). Superstar (Carly Smithson). The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (David Cook). You Don't Have to Say You Love Me (Ramiele Malubay).

10. Come Together (Carly Smithson). At the time I wasn't real thrilled with the idea of the top 12 diving into the Beatles songbook, and half of them proved me right, but the other half of the field saved the day, most especially Carly who, for the first time, actually wowed me with this rousing and gritty performance. I never ended up being a "fan" of Carly, but after three disappointing performances in the semi-finals, this was the first time I saw how much talent and potential the girl had.

9. Let it Be (Brooke White). This was Brooke's defining moment. I heard it described elsewhere as "organic." That word fits this performance perfectly, as it was raw, but restrained, performed simply as it should be and, most importantly, she remembered the words!

8. Imagine (David Archuleta). In his semi-final performance, Archie made his first step in proving that he was capable of living up to the pre-show hype about him. Yeah, he got hammered for skipping over the first verse and yeah he got skewered for the runs and the riffs (moreso during his finale reprise), but, surprisingly, until his final performance night, this performance was his best and carried him through some of the pitfalls he was yet to encounter.

7. She's a Woman (Chikezie). Who knew the one-named Eze guy had it in him? Despite flashes of true talent in the semi-finals, no one really gave Chikezie much of a chance to make the tour, and many were shocked he had made it into the finals. But this performance made it clear that the man was a lock for top ten. I still smile watching it. It was his finest moment (and one of Ryan's weirdest). It's just too bad that two weeks later he would venture back into ballad-ville and get drop-kicked in 10th place.

6. God Bless the USA (Kristy Lee Cook). This performance will not go down in the annals of showstoppers, but after the horrid thing she did to Eight Days a Week, and having homesteaded one of the bottom three stools, Kristy showed her mettle by playing the game as strategically brilliant as any other contestant in history, pulling out the apple pie, the flag and Mother's Day all in one, securing her a vacation from the stools and buying her a few more weeks than she probably deserved. And it was a turning point for her, a transition between her time as season seven's punching bag to become the contestant people began rooting for, however reluctantly.

5. Hallelujah (Jason Castro). The dreadheaded surfer dude was certainly one of the most unique semi-finalists this show had ever produced, but with this beautiful performance, he also became one of this season's early favorites, at least to make it deep into the field. It was so memorable, in fact, that he was asked to reprise it, alone, on the big finale stage.

4. Eleanor Rigby (David Cook). I battled with myself whether to choose this performance or Hello, the one that immediately preceded it, but what tipped the scales on the Beatles side was the end. I knew by final 20 week that Cook was my favorite contestant of the season. By top 16 week when he remastered Lionel Ritchie, I thought that Cook might be, potentially, my favorite contestant ever. But Rigby sealed the deal. Perfectly performed, exquisitely directed and lighted, watching David #2's pure glee at the end of the performance, as the lights went up on the big stage after weeks of the tiny studio, is a moment that will live in my mind for a very long time.

3. Billie Jean (David Cook). I went into this episode knowing that Cook had chosen, for his birthyear night, this Michael Jackson classic and scratched my head wondering why on earth he had chosen such a strange selection. Of course, I had never heard of Chris Cornell or his version, which would have answered that question. It was one of those once-in-a-season moments, and proved that, by finding little-known arrangements of well-known songs, David was going to be the season's biggest risk taker. And he was going to be around for a very long time.

2. Over the Rainbow (Jason Castro). Jason was an enigma. When he was off, he was off. But when he was on, he was brilliant. And this was Jason at his finest. Of all of the iTunes purchases I downloaded over the course of the season, this is the one I listen to most often.

1. Always Be My Baby (David Cook). When observers of the show point to a contestant's defining moment, usually Cook's is measured by Billie Jean. But for me, this was the week that David proved to the naysayers that he was more than just a musician who ripped off covers of covers, taking this saccharine pop ballad and turning it, himself, into a smoky, sultry masterpiece, and he did it with his ailing brother in the front row, receiving rave reviews not only from Mariah Carey but the three judges, ending the evening teary-eyed. And that, to me, was a storybook moment, my favorite of the season.

So now it's your turn. What were your favorite moments?

12 million votes...

2008-05-26T20:00:00.003-04:00

That's a landslide. A conquest of massive proportions. Or as I called it last week: a blowout.

And yet the Duel of the Davids was supposed to be Ruben/Clay, part two, where the last two men were separated by a relative handful of votes.

What happened?

Here's an interesting analysis that, as a charter viewer of this show, I can't disagree with.

behind the scenes...

2008-05-26T10:45:00.003-04:00

Want a glimpse into the makings of Idol's final week? The LA Times takes you there in this lengthy, but worth-the-time diary.

And for those who contributed to that mad dialing, Cook has a message to his fans.

busy, busy, busy, but #1...

2008-05-22T14:32:00.007-04:00

It didn't take long for Cook fans to put their money where their votes were Tuesday, as The Time of My Life is flying up the iTunes charts, and I don't think the guy has even gotten a chance to sleep yet.

Cook has made typical appearances since his coronation last night, but he won't have any down time, with appearances scheduled from coast to coast over the next week.

Here's a rundown:

Thursday (today):
The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno
TMZ on Fox

Friday, May 23:
Larry King Live (w/Archuleta) on CNN

Tuesday, May 27
Regis & Kelly

Wednesday, May 28
Ellen

Both Davids will be appearing and performing on the Plaza on the Today Show (NBC) next Thursday, May 29. If anyone finds out other appearances, please let us know in the comments.

And while you're watching, keep an eye out for this:

Priceless! American Idol now ranks right up there with the Super Bowl.

(A better version of the commercial is here.)

seacrest is talking...

2008-05-22T12:25:00.007-04:00

w/David Cook.

w/David Archuleta .

w/Simon Cowell .

and w/Nigel Lythgoe (and Bryan Adams).

cook's new single...

2008-05-22T08:15:00.003-04:00

The Time of My Life, David Cook's American Idol winning single is available on iTunes for purchase, but is also debuting on Popeater.

Take a listen. Or two.

david wins: a SIMULBLOG!...

2008-05-21T19:48:00.019-04:00

Five months of investment, both from their side and from ours, comes down to tonight in the Nokia. The finale, if done properly, is always a fun send-off to a successful season as we get to see the kids we haven't seen in ages come back and strut their best Brady Bunch selves to cheezy choreography and fun and fluffy group numbers.

And we get to find out which of the kids gets to jet all over hell's half acre to hit the talk show circuit.

Because THIS, for the last time this year, is American Idol!

And this is a simulblog, so I'm gonna sit through the whole two hours, trying to describe what I'm seeing as the action is happening on the east coast, so if you are in the west and want to wait, here is not the place to be. But come back and cheer or weep after the results. With the rest of us cheerers and weepers.

Simon is already backpedaling on his KNOCKOUT assessment last night, still giving the night to Archie, but not by the margin he originally thought, after having watched it back. (Or checked Dial Idol, whichever.)

And let's all just have a moment to hope there are no more boxing references.

Thank you.

Ryan opens the show asking what the closest finale ever looks like as the Davids, dressed in white, stare each other down.

The vote was incredible, he says: 97.5 million, smashing the old record by 23 million. One David got 56 percent, the other 44 percent. And even Ruben got some. Ruben, in the audience, smiles. Holy crap. That's a blowout.

Mikalah Gordon is in KC with the Cookie people and Matt Rogers is in Utah with Camp Archuleta.

We start the night with a group number with the So You Think You Can Dance kids. So the choreography doesn't suck. Too much. They're telling us to Get Ready, because here they come. Tweedily dee.
_______

David Cook hits the stage and is joined by Archuleta with Hero. Dang, those boys can sing well together. Lovely harmony. Yay! Please let that be on iTunes tomorrow.

Too bad that great performance is followed by a Guru Pitka segment.

Syesha Mercado gets to sing with her "special guest." And her guest is Seal. Now that's cool guest. Not a good combo. Dave and Dave should have sung again. But Syesha looks FAB, and she's having fun, so all is good.
_______

Jason Castro is back, singing - by himself - Hallelujah. He's still so cute. And that was phenomenal.

The Ford commercial is a retrospective of video bloopers, which segues into the time the boys get their Escape Hybrid keys. Archie assures us he has a license.

Here come the girls. They are doing a Donna Summer collection. Brooke soloes, followed by Kristy, and Amanda looks like she's actually not wanting to die. Yay Amanda! And Carly looks great in red, but not nearly as great as Ramiele Malubay. And out comes Donna Summer herself to sing her - wait for it - new hit single. It never stops, does it? I like Donna Summer and all, but I would rather have seen more of Amanda Overmyer.
_______

Carly Smithson and Michael Johns get to duo on The Letter. Great idea. Great pairing. MJ has a haircut. And he's still hawt. Oh they are terrific. Please, please let this be available on iTunes!!

Jimmy Kimmel is called upon to provide us with a review of the season, and he can't wait for the first Sanjaya joke. Sanjaya, sitting in the audience, laughs. That was quick and clever.

Things are moving quickly.

The guys get to "rock out." Michael Johns starts the Bryan Adams medley, handing off to David Hernandez, who gives way to Jason Castro then to Chikezie. The other Davids enter down the staircase together singing Heaven. Then, as expected, the guys give the stage to Adams himself, with our guys singing backup. And they all look like they're having a ball.
_______

It's time for David Cook to sing Sharp Dressed Man with ZZ Top. And he has a new guitar, but with the same familiar AC initials. Hell, even I am clapping. My dog thinks I'm nuts.

KC is going crazy and Mrs. Gentry is wearing a classic DC tee shirt. She's my fave elementary school teacher.

Now it's time for Brooke White with Graham Nash and Teach Your Children. She is barefoot (Yay Brooke!) and her guitar. And I want this on iTunes too.

Okay, this is shaping up to be the Best. Finale. Ever.
_______

These little boys must be the Jonas Brothers that I've heard so much about. I wouldn't know because the tweeners screamed over Ryan's intro. Have I mentioned yet how I am hoping for a mosh pit "accident?" Dare I say that Archie sings better than all of those brothers combined?

Now, of course, we get to revisit the reason I didn't watch the first five weeks. Auditions. Ugh. Except James Lewis. I lurrved him. Let My People Go... But they bring back Renaldo, our brother, complete with marching band and the USC cheerleaders. Ricky Minor must have refused to accompany him. But Paula and Randy do. Whatever. No iTunes, please.
_______

One Republic has taken the stage to sing the "smash hit they wrote" Apologize. And the appearance of David Archuleta explains the reason. (I'm still trying to figure out the reason for the brothers...) I am not fond of this song. I think it has a one-sentence lyric. Utah likes it though. David's grandfather is proud. Matt Rogers needs to cut out the caffiene.

Jordin Sparks is in the house, skipping down the stairs in gold. She doesn't sound like she's suffering too many ill effects from the vocal cord injury she had. Good on her.
_______

Oh goody. Nigel should not be allowed to play with special effects. We have a circa 1970 Gladys Knight heading up try-out Pips Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey, Jr. yay. Okay, there were some amusing moments, but I would have rather heard Amanda Overmyer.

The screams are starting for Carrie Underwood. Jordin could take some fashion advice from Miss Carrie. Is it me or does her new song sound pretty much like her last song? I know. It's just me.
_______

Did y'all catch the Guitar Hero commercials featuring the Davids? Tom Cruise who? But there was just something about seeing Archie in his undies that was just. not. right.

The girls are back on the stage, this time dressed in black, setting up George Michael. Now the guys take over, dressed dapper in suits with Father Figure. (Always think of Ace Young when I hear that song.) I love this group, but dang, they don't sing well together. George Michael is introduced. He looks creepy. Sorry.
_______

Finally it's time. Eleven percentage points separate the two Davids, as Ryan told us at the top of the show. I'm surprised they revealed the magnitude of the win. The judges give them pep talks, and Simon apologizes to David Cook.

I want to slap the vote bringer-inner. The boys have their arms around each other's shoulders.

Ryan builds up the suspense before giving it to David Cook! He's crying. I'm crying. The crowd is nuts. His mom is on stage to hug her son.

Now we get to hear the real winning song. The confetti flies.

Congratulations Cookie. And thanks.

miscellaneous mutterings...

2008-05-21T17:14:00.005-04:00

With less than three hours remaining until we mark the end of season seven, I feel the need to say stuff, especially considering this blog will pretty much wrap up shop and take a hiatus for awhile after the hoopla surrounding this most intriguing year dies down. So you can either keep reading or resume your regularly-scheduled life, cause I'm gonna cuss.

The choice is yours. But this is for me.

I keep reading spoilers and predictions about tonight's finale. And I can't help but get a little antsy. The talk is all about guest stars, guest stars, surprise appearances and guest stars. I swear, if the producers forget that tonight is not about holograms and fancy special effects, that it's not about opening the stage to the "biggest star in the world" I will swear. I swear I will swear.

This is the show that celebrates those kids. Those twelve kids and those two guys who have given of their sweat, have forsaken sleep, have cried, have been applauded and have been humiliated over the past few months all so we can cry, laugh, criticize, condemn and applaud them. It's their show. Give them their limelight one last time.

My ideal opening? I want the Davids to stand center stage, with a single spotlight illuminating them and I want them to sing the damn phone book. Maybe then Randy Jackson will shut the hell up. Or buy a damn thesaurus.

I want there to be confetti, cause confetti is cool, and I want there to be flames like they had for Leona Lewis. And I want the cannons that shoot the confetti and flames to be in the mosh pit. Immolation assures good ratings.

There. Got that off my chest.

It's been a very interesting day (thank God for vacations!) reading the various message boards (some of which are very scary places for which I do deserve combat pay). The Archie fans are basking in the glow of their boy's success last night, and the Cookie fans are still a little ticked at the unbalanced attack on their boy by the judging panel.

I don't dispute that Archuleta won the evening, but I hardly think - even after a rewatching this morning - that it was close to a KO. (And was that boxing metaphor taken, perhaps, about 50 minutes too far?) And it's bringing out all kinds of conspiracy theories because, let's face it, aside from a stripper past and a DUI arrest, there hasn't been that much in the way of controversy this year. And this show wouldn't be American Idol if there weren't at least one conspiracy theory floating around.

Were last night's judges comments scripted to vault the young Archuleta into the crown because Simon Fuller, et. al. are anxious to get him ready for the Disney channel pilot season? Or were those comments an attempt to ass-kick the Cook fans out of complacency, so they would flock to their phones to dial and text their fingers bloody?

After all, Simon did make the rounds of the talk shows this week, assuredly making the Cook victory prediction and he did give David Cook a "you and I have a secret" wink after his last critique. (And it's not the same kind of secret he has with Seacrest.) So why the switch after praising Cook the week before for taking risks then ripping him a new one last night for not playing it safe with the last song?

Was that a bus? Or was that a clever ploy to ignite his fans to powervote and get ambivalent fans to get off the couch when they otherwise might have thought Cook had it in the bag? Or might they want to boost the suspense to see the front-runner Cook get TKO'd by the previous frontrunner Archuleta, that little upstart who finally broke free of those shackles that had been confining him.

I don't know how much validity any of these theories have, but they sure have contributed to interesting speculation while we await the final verdict. And it really shows that, after seven seasons, we all tend to watch this show with incredibly cynical eyes.

What is interesting is that, if you listen to the media, tonight's going to be a slam dunk for Archuleta. And I can see it going that way. After all, he's a cute kid with a great voice and the entertainment world is filled with cute kids with not-so-great voices who are making gazillions of dollars. Get his daddy out of the picture, get him some performance experience, and he could become a marketable commodity.

But if you go beyond the media, the prediction pundits are all calling for a Cook victory. I am not the biggest fan of DialIdol as a prediction tool when there are more than five contestants, mainly because it's a self-selected sample of users and the margin of error is something along the size of the Atlantic. But I can't argue its accuracy when there are three or less contestants, and it's never been wrong at two. And right now David Cook is sitting on an 11-point lead. Of course it can't account for text votes and whether the users are a representative sample of the overall voting population is an issue. A four-point lead, I would shrug off. But double digits says something. Like maybe people did pick up those phones (or, more accurately, fire up those phone modems) with a fervor.

But the most telling are the betting sites. Now we're talking cash, not pride. The online betting sites still have David Cook as the overwhelming favorite to win tonight, last night notwithstanding. That I don't take lightly. Betting sites don't part with their money easily.

So tonight could shape up to be a real barnburner (that's kinda like a humdinger) after all. We haven't had one of those since Ruben edged out Clay in season two, after Clay was told, by Simon, that he'd probably won the competition on the strength of his closing number.

Cook should win. Of that I feel strongly. He came out of nowhere, totally unpimped and has had the most innovative, risky, edgy performances consistently throughout the season. Archuleta started strong, faded a bit in the middle but came back as a true fighter (sorry for the boxing pun) in the final round. Simon told David Cook that he didn't have "that winning moment." He was right. But so what.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. If all the winner needs is a moment, why did this thing start in January? If all we want is a moment, let's just run a three-week summer mini-series. Thankfully this ending isn't like some of the past seasons, where we ended up with one deserving and one less than deserving contestant. This year we have two deservers.

It's just that one deserves it more.

If Cook does win tonight, what a perfect scenerio last night provided. The kid got his glory moment on the stage - one that he earned and deserved. He will be remembered for that, as well he should. The other gets his glory moment tonight. Both get contracts, both get media attention. It will be billed as the upset, the show gets extended attention, more than just the Thursday chatter, as fans battle it out for weeks, rushing the stores (or iTunes) to prove, monetarily, that their David was the true winner.

If last night was a set-up, it was well-played.

But I guess we'll find out tonight.

Now will somebody please hurry and install that killer cannon.

nigel is speaking...

2008-05-21T12:24:00.003-04:00

With Ryan Seacrest. And David. And David.

It's worth a listen.

we haven't heard the last of the songs...

2008-05-21T09:10:00.004-04:00

So Paula let another cat out of another bag after all. Did y'all catch when she said on air that the song Archuleta had just performed "wasn't the winning song?"

Guess she was right.

The actual winning song will be unveiled tonight, after David is crowned the winner. And it's called Time of My Life.

The guys, apparently, were able to choose from the 10 runners-up? Well, at least they got to choose.

So that was the twist Nigel & Company was hinting about.

Oh goody. This means there's another song out there even more crappy than what we heard last night.

This is My Now Moment For I Believe I'm Flying Without Wings Just to Make You Proud.

it's down to 2: david wins...

2008-05-20T19:43:00.003-04:00

What would happen if they threw a boxing match and one competitor didn't show up? What would they do if they threw a boxing match and the judges had already decided in advance who was going to win?

Kinda like Paula knew Jason's performance was crap before he had even had a chance to sing it.

I don't know when I've ever seen such a one-sided final performance show in the seven seasons of this show.

There is no argument that David Archuleta turned in probably the best string of performances he's had in weeks. I won't even argue that he won the night. And I won't argue that David Cook was just missing something, even though I can't find the right word for it. Spark, maybe. Fight, maybe. Desire, probably.

Maybe he got the memo from Daughtry that not winning has all kinds of benefits. (Which it does.) And he took a dive.

Whatever Cook didn't bring to the table, though, Archuleta brought extra. After peaking in the early episodes, Archie has been plagued by dropped and forgotten lyrics, ballad boredom and watched his stock drop as quickly as David Cook's stock skyrocketed.

But there was none of that tonight, as young David, perhaps feeling free of paternal pressure finally, showed more spirit, more animation, more personality and more presence than he has all season. And that was just in one song.

My complaint about this episode is not with the Davids. It's with the panel of judges, one of whom cannot seem, no matter how much money he's paid, to stray from the hot molten zoned phone book, who tonight made it abundantly clear which of the Davids is supposed to win. Hell, they couldn't even make it close to heighten the suspense.

But here they are, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision and, for the first time, separated by "rounds," in the spirit of the "match" instead of the traditional worst to first.

Clive Davis round, the living corpse with the golden ears.

David Cook (I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For). Clive Davis tells Cook that this song represents a generation searching. Cookie doesn't play around much with the arrangement, which is smart considering it's a U2 song, using the stage and the "judges stage" to good effect. Unlike last week his voice is strong, but there's just a fire that I've grown used to that just isn't there.

David Archuleta (Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me). Clive always seems to choose this song for the guys. Okay, so maybe just once before, so Archie runs the risk of being compared to the versions that preceded him. He plays it very smart, switching it up from the versions Idol addicts recognize, showing more animation and more stage presence than he has all season. By far. The judges call it (sorta) his best performance of the season, and I can't disagree with that.

Judges: Round One to Archuleta.
Me: Round One to Archuleta.
_______

David Cook (Dream Big). Considering the batch of songs Cook had to choose from, Simon was right: he did the best he could. It was sung well, but it just didn't "fit." The ending made the song, but seriously, can't there be a better song out there somewhere?

David Archuleta (In This Moment). Again, I'm not gonna slam Archie for the poor song - good heaven's could those lyrics be any worse? - but Archie's issue all season is that he stumbles with complicated lyrics - too many syllables, perhaps, if they're sung in quick succession. He's fine with the chorus, but not fine enough, even though Randy pulls out that insipid "phone book zone" comment.

Judges: Round two to Archuleta.
Me: Round two to Cook.
_______

David Cook (The World I Know). Cook has his acoustic guitar, takes this one slow and easy. And beautifully. He ends his last song in tears, to thunderous applause and gets told he should have taken the easier road and chosen a proven winner like Billie Jean or Hello. That's stupid. He gets extra points from me for not giving us a retread that is easily available on iTunes.

David Archuleta (Imagine). Taking on a song performed already to great reviews is always risky. (Ask Diana DeGarmo.) But Archuleta knows his season was defined, in many ways, by this song performed back in February, throws in some extra vocal acrobatics, and turns in another fine performance.

Judges: Round three and match to Archuleta.
Me: Round three a draw.
_______

I don't know who's gonna win, and I don't care. Both are guaranteed a contract, and, as has been proved, there is a ton more freedom with second (or third or fourth) place.

David will win, that's for certain. If David wins based only on tonight, it will be the youngster. If David win based on a body of work throughout the season, Archuleta will get Cooked.

So, who will win? Answer the poll and please leave a comment, showing the respect you always do to fans of both Davids.

CAUTION: song spoilers...

2008-05-20T17:44:00.005-04:00

This entry will be updated as the Clive picks and the crappy coronation song titles are revealed.

But here's the scoop so far:

David Archuleta: Imagine, Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me and (coronation song) In this Moment.

David Cook: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Dream Big (coronation song), and The World I Know.

Other stuff:

David Cook's brother Adam, an attorney from Terre Haute, IN, will be in the audience watching, once again, his little brother. This time he's there thanks to the generosity of Cookie fans everywhere and an anonymous donor who helped foot the bill for the trip to LA.

Rumors are swirling that the two crappy coronation songs the Davids have chosen are Here I Am (Archuleta) and No Turning Back (Cook).

Sample of insipid lyrics:

Here I Am/My Arms Are Open Wide
Here I Am/I've Nothing Left to Hide
...I'm Where I'm Supposed to Be
Here I Am.

Poor kid.

A little better, but not much...

~~There's No Turning Back~~
Giving Me a New Sensation
Giving In to All Temptation
There's No Turning Back
Need to Feel Acceleration
Need to Feel the Elevation

~~Making me prone to hyperventilation.~~

Oh well. The coronation song isn't called crappy for nothing, I suppose.

this just in...

2008-05-20T07:08:00.003-04:00

It's down to hours before the last performance episode of the seventh season, and spoilers are coming in.

Here's what we know about tonight:

Archuleta will sing Imagine, a reprise from his semi-final competition.

NEW! David Cook will become the first American Idol to get clearance for a U2 song in competition, and will sing Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.

As more song spoilers come in, they will be added here.

But while we're waiting for tonight's news, how about one more trip down finale memory lane, ending with my personal favorite moment - evah.

It was season four, which had been a refreshing one after the dismal season three. The finale promised the "biggest medley yet" and did it ever deliver. Each of the 12 kids got time with a celebrity guest, including a stunning performance by Vonzell Solomon with Billy Preston, but the highlight was the end.

Whouda thunk Skynyrd would ever perform on the Idol stage?

I never get tired of watching that.

nigel is speaking...

2008-05-19T16:03:00.003-04:00

And he's talking with Ryan Seacrest.

The Davids are singing three songs and can choose to either sing a new one or reprise a song performed already this season.

Archuleta is singing Imagine. Imagine that.

Here's the "twist" we were promised from the Crappy Songwriters Coronation Song Contest: The boys get to choose from among the top ten voted songs for their crappy coronation song. I'm sure both of them were tickled pink.

Clive Davis is choosing one song for each of the Davids. I thought he was dead. Or at least shelved.

The "biggest star in the world" is gonna be at the finale, along with some dead people. Remember the Celine/Elvis duet?

The top five are singing duets with "somebody." Boy that somebody is gonna be busy.

They're going to verify the vote totals thousands of times, because Nigel can't help himself from reminding Ryan how numerically challenged he was during the season two finale, when the vote margin changed after every commercial break.

Ryan drinks champagne and Nigel drinks Jack.

So now you know the rest of the story.

finale memories...

2008-05-19T09:13:00.002-04:00

Spoilers for Wednesday night's annual finale extravaganza are trickling in. Some things have been verified; others are rumors.

What we do know is that the top five - David, David, Syesha, Jason and Brooke - will be paired, like the past two seasons, in an individual performance with a celebrity artist. We also know that the Jonas Brothers will be appearing.

And we know that two contestants from each of the previous six seasons will be on stage. But that's nothing new. It's become a tradition to welcome back past and the reigning idol, and it's always a highlight of the finale production.

Which brings us to today's memory, and the first time a past Idol joined the two remaining contestants. It was also the first final featuring two guys. And it was the last until now. It was the closest vote in the history of the show. Until now.

Tomorrow: my favorite finale moment ever.

miscellaneous musings and memories...

2008-05-18T15:10:00.003-04:00

Craig Berman explains why David Cook will win.

But Marc Hirsh warns not to count out David Archuleta.

Got disposable income? Wanna bet? Odds are on David Cook. Unless you're betting in Las Vegas, which gives the edge to Archuleta.

And since we're reliving finale memories from the past, who could forget - ever - Kelly Clarkson's winning moment in the very first season?

I swear I thought her mom was gonna pass out.

finale memories...

2008-05-17T07:31:00.003-04:00

Still counting down the days until the seventh season finale, I'm filling in the wait flashing back to finales past.

Here's my favorite memory from season three, not because it was all that enjoyable - after all season three was laden with women, few of which I liked and suffered from letdown after the FAB season two - but because it's pure, unadulterated cheeze, from the Partridge Family-ish outfits to the Brady Bunch-ish choreography.

This is how to do a cheezy medley!

And it's just really nice to see George Huff again.

finale memories...

2008-05-16T10:05:00.002-04:00

Since we're talking finale memories around here, and since Kristi summed hers up in two words in the comments, I decided to think back to the things I remember.

So as we're counting down the days until new memories are made, I'm gonna relive some of the past.

Good times.

My favorite moment from season five's:

I loved those guys. Yeah, even Kevin.

the morning after...

2008-05-15T12:52:00.002-04:00

I have a love/hate relationship with the final three results shows. I love watching the footage of the kids' trips home. They're always filled with such emotion and such celebration. But I hate watching that last contestant leave thisclose to the end of the competition. Even if I'm not a fan.

I must say that Syesha was a class act throughout the entire show, even though, I think, she knew the writing was on the wall and no one could have stopped the inevitable David finale.

Trying to write and watch at the same time often leaves me missing some of the best parts of the show, though. So, after rewatching this morning, I just felt the need to comment on the last non-extravaganza results show of the seventh season as we prepare to head into the final week.

It was a treat to see all of the cast there in the audience. It took me a minute to recognize David Hernandez though. Has it really been that long since we were cracking jokes about male strippers and identifying Davids by number? Seems like a lifetime.

And exactly who was that raving, red-haired, red-lipped animal zipping all over the stage leaving Simon with the most classic WTF look on his face. That couldn't have been the same Fantasia that we all still remember sitting center stage singing Summertime. If this is what Broadway does to Idols, Syesha better think again.

One thing the hometown highlights really showed with all three is just exactly how exhausted these kids are.

My favorite word of the night: Gosh.

Note to Ryan Seacrest: stop reading the little cards and start comprehending them. And please stop blaming the staff on live television for mistakes. A simple "oops, our bad" would have been sufficient once you realized that Roberta Flack and Chaka Khan are not the same person.

It was nice to see so much footage of Mom-chuleta after all of these weeks of nothing but Dad-chuleta.

My favorite line of the series: Where did they park?

The funniest moment of the hometown visits wasn't even shown on the air: the Florida lady doing the handstand for Syesha. The stunt was well planned, but executed poorly. And after her first attempt to do the full handstand that had to be aborted and redone, she glanced at Syesha and said softly "that was my Brooke attempt." They shoulda kept that line in.

Mom Cook apparently has had enough of American Idol. Did y'all catch her emphatic "no" when Ryan told Cook brother Andrew they would see him next year?

My favorite teacher: Mrs. Gentry. Just goes to prove if you want to be worshipped, skip American Idol and go straight to elementary school teaching. Honest.

So we're down to the two guys, and people are going to have a field day figuring out all the various ways we can play on the David/David theme. Archuleta won the traditional coin toss following last night's live show and has chosen to go second, natch.

And it's time to start speculating about next week's grand finale, which is always filled with surprises, cheesy group numbers, and really bad dancing.

What are some of your best finale memories?

setting the table: a SIMULBLOG!...

2008-05-14T20:19:00.012-04:00

The end of another very long season is in sight, but not before we slash and dash the hopes and dreams of one more kid on the way to final week of the seventh season.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a simulblog, which means I'm typing and publishing as the action is happening live on the east coast, so if you don't wanna know, it's time for you to leave. If you want to be totally spoiled - or bored - for the next hour, then hang out and chat!

After all we only have one more week left. And the show is about to start...
_______

Ryan tells us that 56 million votes were called in last night to decide the fate of the three remaining kids. Andrew Lloyd Webber is in the house, as are most of this season's contestants. Fantasia is also in the house and will be singing.

Syesha and the Davids combine because there ain't no stopping them now. Kool choreography and it helps that they've dropped about nine people, because this year's group sings have been nothing short of, well, bad.
_______

The crappy Ford commercial asks how far heaven is, as the kids dream about getting keys to Pontiacs. Just foolin'.

We get the recap from last night. And as soon as that's over, it's time to bring out Fantasia, because we have hometown visits to see! Fantasia has hair that is constantly changing color. Tonight it's kinda pink. Or orange. Depending on the angle of the light.

She's as shy as ever. I honestly don't know know what else to say about that appearance.
_______

The kids are backstage. Ryan calls Archuleta to the stage. We get to see his visit to hometown Murray, Utah. He went to his high school, the television station, the Jazz game and the Gateway Mall. And he cried. And he has a really cool mayor with a really cool moustache.

David says he's embarrassed about all the tearful footage, gets his reviews from the night before and gets his funeral video before he's even been declared dead. Smart move considering they won't have time next week to show each of the remaining kids' journeys, so they'll just do them tonight.
_______

Syesha Mercado is summoned. She says her trip home was "amazing." She visited the television station, the museum, hugged a baby or seven, got a parade, visited her high school and got to take a helicopter ride. She cried a lot too.

She is reminded of her reviews. Simon says Paula was too hard on her. Simon is so funny.

And she gets to watch her funeral video to the sound of Fantasia's crappy coronation song.
_______

David Cook is next. He says he didn't mean to audition, but to accompany his little bro Andrew, who gets called to the stage. The Cook brothers and Ryan get to watch his hometown highlight reel. David got to do the weather at the television station, surprise his elementary school music teacher, have a parade and throw out the first pitch at a Royals game. He cried too.

Cook gets reminded of his reviews. And he too gets to watch his funeral video.

The three kids are standing center stage as we get thrown to commercial.
_______

The kids are holding hands with Syesha in the center. Randy tells them they all did an amazing job. Paula pretty much repeats what Randy said.

The lights are dimmed. They're holding hands again. Ryan announces the two going forward, and their names are David.

Syesha gets to sing more more time, as we get reminders of her journey on the big screen behind her.

Syesha, you set the record for most appearances in the bottom and yet you hung in there. You are a fighter. And Broadway is waiting for you to finish that tour. Congratulations, well done and so long.

Please discuss!

three singers, two openings...

2008-05-13T19:47:00.006-04:00

It was a chance to take on songs handed to them, rather than chosen by them. It was a chance to sing on the last show of the seventh season. It was a night when the judges and I were on (almost) complete opposite sides.

But the bus was all gassed up and aiming for the stage. And pieces of Syesha are hanging from the rear view mirror.

The ballad-heavy episode certainly wasn't the best final three episode ever. It was, though, safe. If your name is David.

But anyway, here are my impressions, subject to review and revision, but as always, from worst to first:

David Archuleta (Producer's choice: Longer): Yes, this was a crapper of a song choice, but he didn't have much say in the matter. Again, he does what he can with the song, but sitting squarely again on a stool midstage does not help sell it. The judges assure him he'll be in the finals. Because they know the bus is getting ready to back up and make sure Syesha is under it.

Syesha Mercado (Randy's choice: If I Ain't Got You): Syesha looks stunning in a sequined gown and delivers a well-sung, but unoriginal version of this Alicia Keys song. She gets tepid reviews, and I'm so unmoved that I can't think of anything more to say.

David Cook (Personal choice: Dare You to Move): Paula finally recognizes that sometimes songs just don't work in the split-second allowed for the live performance, and never was there better proof than this. David is just "off" in the first part of the song, but once he's back in comfortable range, the song ends.

David Archuleta (Personal choice: With You): David Archuleta said "my boo." If you had told me that six weeks ago, I would have laughed. The judges applaud his attempt at a song about a hundred miles out of his comfort zone, but make it clear that his choice was a bad one. Okay, so he missed some notes, and the song fit him like mittens fit a dog, but, and maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there, it looked as though he was actually having fun for the first time in weeks. And that made me smile.

Syesha Mercado (Producer's choice: Hit Me Up): Finally something upbeat! Too bad she seems to be chasing the beat, never quite able to catch it. The judges, expectedly but inexplicably tell her she's toast, either in an attempt to spur her voters to dial harder or to convince them it's not in their interest to try.

David Archuleta (Paula's choice: And So It Goes): First a disclaimer. I do not like this song, even sung by Billy Joel. It's bland, and it's boring. But David does the best he can with it. Randy slobbers all over him, like usual. Simon though, is right: it was predictable, nothing spellbinding, but pleasantly fine.

David Cook (Producer's choice: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing): After an awesome open, David closes the show - with composer Diane Warren in the audience - a bit out of tune in the front part, but wraps it up in true David Cook style. It wasn't bad, it wasn't good, and it was better than most of the others on this night, but I guess I was hoping for more. Simon calls the night for him anyway.

Syesha Mercado (Personal choice: Fever): I knew that somewhere in the judges' critiques we would hear cabaret the minute I saw the chair on stage. This is another song that I've grown tired of, but, for possibly the first time ever, I got it. The judges have apparently been sucking out of Paula's cup, or they've been told who to praise and who, umm, not to, but this was Syesha's performance of the season, despite the universal panning that she received from the scoring table.

David Cook (Simon's choice: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face): Okay, does it make me a nerd to say I had tears? If so, then I'm a nerd. With wet eyes. The only downside to this performance was that it's a tough song to condense into the alloted 60 seconds, but David sings the first verse flawlessly before powering into the ending, hitting high notes I don't think he's hit all year. Simon tells him it's one of his best performances to date. I just hope it's the studio selection on iTunes.

I hate the final three results show. I always cry, even if I don't really like the third-place finisher. My brain is telling me that the David fans X 2 will be seeking emergency finger care in the morning, leaving Syesha the odd-woman out. In fairness, she deserves a spot in next week's show, as do both of the Davids, but realistically she hasn't much of a chance.

Or will we be treated to that shocker that has eluded us this season? Will the glowing David reviews leave one David in the lurch. Oh hell, I don't know.

As much as I want to call for an unexpected Archuleta boot, I am expecting Syesha to hear Ruben singing.

So what do you think?

UPDATED! last three standing...

2008-05-13T14:49:00.005-04:00

It's arguably the most stressful night of the season: final three night. Two of the kids will sing in the last show of the seventh year. The other, coming oh so close, will be relegated to one of the aisle seats, watching from the audience and after months of putting in as much effort as the other two, will play nothing more than filler during the grand finale next Wednesday. (And as an added kick in the butt, #3 doesn't even get to make the talk show circuit, because rehearsals for the finale start right away.)

So after tonight, all three have a chance of winning. After tomorrow night, one just loses.

Three contestants, three songs. One of the songs is his or her personal selection, no restrictions (except clearance issues). One of the songs is chosen by one of the judges. And the third song is drawn from a fish bowl, errr, chosen by the producers.

Of course, history and superstitions still abound. Until last year when Jordin was first up on final three night, every singer who led off final three night got kicked to the curb the following day. I still maintain that the order of performance on this night is dictated by vote accrued during the season, from least-voted to most-voted. That's why #1s always got the boot. It wasn't some lead-off curse; they just didn't have the votes in the first place to stand a chance.

And if that's the case, I strongly expect Syesha Mercado to lead off tonight, followed by Archuleta and ending with Cook. But we'll see. UPDATE: Performance order is Archuleta/Syesha/Cook.

And then there's the Paula curse. In five seasons of judges choosing song selections (individual judges did not choose songs during the first season), Paula has never chosen a song for the kid who eventually wins. Clay Aiken finished second in season two, Jasmine Trias got totally thrown under the bus in season three, Bo Bice couldn't overcome the Underwood express in season four and Elliott Yamin got shortchanged in season five.

Tonight Archuleta gets to sing a Paula selection. Seems the kid is just not having a good week.

Now for the song spoilers. We've known of the judges' selections since the three contestants visited their respective hometowns, and some of the other choices are making the rounds as legitimate. I am not making any claims as to their validity; I'm just passing along the titles that seem to be the general consensus, but I have yet to see any single source, so take them for what they're worth.

Song selections are now official. Seems that Cook has pulled a fast one on us with a switch.

Syesha Mercado:

Personal choice: Fever (audio by Peggy Lee)
Randy's choice: If I Ain't Got You (video by, well, Syesha. Seems she's familiar with the song.)
Producer's choice: Hit Me Up (video by Gia Farrell)

David Archuleta:

Personal choice: With You (video by Chris Brown)
Paula's choice: And So It Goes (video by Billy Joel)
Producers choice: Longer (audio by Dan Fogelberg; video of record player)

David Cook:

Personal choice: The World I Know (video by Collective Soul).
Simon's choice: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (video by Roberta Flack)
Producer's choice: ~~unknown~~
David's other two selections are Dare You to Move (I suspect his personal choice) and I Don't Want To Miss a Thing (I suspect the producer's choice.)

The fact that Syesha has already performed Randy's choice on television is interesting. Did he know that? Or did she just get lucky? And will she sit - again - on the piano to deliver it?

Simon's choice for David Cook is fascinating. It has the potential to be spellbinding. Or to put an entire voting audience to sleep. The choice is David's.

David Archuleta gets the short straw. Not only did the kid get thrown a curve by having his little league parent abruptly yanked after all of these months breathing so incessantly down his neck, but he gets possibly the worst Billy Joel song imaginable. (I like the Fogelberg tune, and if he can pull off the Chris Brown song, I'll be the first one applauding.) If any of the three is at a disadvantage, therefore, it's him. (Although the continuous coverage of Dadchuleta-gate could garner him some extra sympathy votes.)

All of the makings for a David-squared finale have been in place since Beatles week. We haven't had an all-male final since season two, and we haven't had a same-gender final for three years. Somehow I have a gnawing feeling that we're due for that shocker we've been deprived of so far.

So, what do you think?

As soon as song spoilers are out, I'll update it here.

david loses daddy...

2008-05-10T06:56:00.004-04:00

I have avoided all season discussing the stage monster that, allegedly, is Jeff Archuleta, David's dad. But it seems Daddy Archuleta stepped over the line, and has now been banished from the backstages of American Idol, much in the same way he was reportedly barred from the backstage of Star Search when young David was a contestant there.

One thing you do not do, aside from allowing your 17-year-old son to actually breathe on his own, is cost American Idol money. And, reportedly, when the senior Archuleta insisted that David insert a little Sean Kingston, which he had been strictly prohibited from doing, into his Stand By Me on Tuesday night, the additional dollars added up.

And, as a result, Daddy got booted.

Read about it here.

following the kids back home...

2008-05-09T09:01:00.009-04:00

It's Syesha Day in Florida! And her FOX affiliate is following her with live streaming video.

UPDATE: Randy has chosen Alicia Keys' If I Ain't Got You for Syesha's judges choice selection.

And it's David Cook day in Missouri where he'll be in a parade with Ronald McDonald!

And his FOX station is giving fans two - TWO - "Cook Channels" to keep track of the boy, complete with chat. And according to this station, Simon has chosen The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (Roberta Flack) for Cook's judges choice. And David, reportedly, has chosen The World I Know, by Collective Soul, as his personal selection.

And in Utah, it is D-Day, rain or shine. Archie has his own tracker and live streaming video.

UPDATE: Paula has chosen And So It Goes by Billy Joel for young David.

If I learn any more song selections, I'll be adding them to this entry.

they're heading home...

2008-05-08T09:04:00.005-04:00

Friday is the big day for the remaining three Idol kids, Syesha Mercado and Davids Archuleta and Cook, as they get to be royalty for a day in each of their hometowns. And the hometowns are eagerly awaiting their prides and joys - and the untold amount of publicity each town will receive when the homecoming videos are aired next week.

David Archuleta is heading home to Murray, Utah, where he will sing the national anthem at the Jazz/Lakers game, meet the governor and a couple of mayors during homecoming at his high school, and appear on Good Morning Utah, the morning show on the local FOX affiliate.

David Cook will be dropped off at Blue Springs, Missouri, which has been in contact with Bothell, Washington, Blake Lewis' hometown about how to handle this year's moment of Idolmania. Cook gets to sing at the Kansas City Royals game, will present a mini-concert at the local high school before his parade starts at 3:30 p.m. and will get the keys to the city from the mayor.

And Syesha heads to the warmth of Sarasota, Florida, where she will sing at the Tampa Bay Rays game, get the key to the city and put on two concerts, one at the high school and one at the Ringling Museum of Art.

And we should know at the end of the day which judge has chosen what song for each of the singers. That's always a highlight.

If anybody is planning to attend any of the functions, we'd love to hear a first-person account!

And, of course, next Tuesday is the infamous final three night, where the kids will each sing three songs, one of their own choosing, one selected by one of the judges and a third, normally chosen by Clive Davis. (The recent shelving of Clive Davis at Sony BMG may change that, but since he doesn't have anything else, apparently, to do, they may roll him out for tradition's sake.) Maybe the mosh pit will choose the third song. It's anybody's guess.

But one thing is certain: at the end of the final three show, we will know exactly who the show wants in the finale.

It's tradition.

parades are a-waiting!: a SIMULBLOG...

2008-05-07T20:35:00.009-04:00

It's been 24 hours since the Idols hit the Rock and Roll Hall. Or was that the wall?

In a nutshell, Archuleta crooned, Cook coasted, Syesha cried and Jason crashed. And burned. After shooting the sheriff.

Yes. That pretty much sums up the night.

It was, quite arguably, the worst final four episode in seven seasons.

And somebody's gonna pay the price tonight, because it's time to chop off the dread weight. Maybe.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, which means I'm typing as the action is happening live on the east coast, with a publishing break at every important stop, so if you don't wanna know, here's not the place you wanna be. If you want to be spoiled though, stick around, chat in the shoutbox and hit the refresh button occasionally to see what's going on.

Because the show's about to start!
_______

Ryan calls last night's show "dramatic." And he promises more drama. Plus Bo Bice.

Ryan begins grilling Randy on his Syesha-hate from the night before. The other judges get a moment to reflect on the performance episode before we get a group song.

The kids are "reeling in the years." And, as usual, the audio guy is asleep at the controls. But Judge Judy and Howie Mandel are in the crowd.
_______

We get the retrospective from last night. The kids are backstage looking at the monitor. Archuleta is called out first. He gets grilled by Ryan about nonsense as it's clear the kid just wants to know if he can go sit on the sofa of safety. He can. And he does.

And after a series of directorial missteps, we get sent to a commercial.
_______

The four kids got to visit Las Vegas, and we are treated to the highlights. Because they have only four kids and an hour to kill.

David Cook gets his command to appear onstage. He is reminded of his reviews from the night before. He says his head just wasn't in the right spot last night. But he's told to send his head to the sofa to join the other David.

Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro are called center stage. So it looks like this odd season (and I mean that in more ways than one) will not have the traditional final four shocker.
_______

The Idols are matadors fighting a Mustang in the crappy Ford commercial that is, at least, entertaining.

It's time for phone calls. Cook gets put on the spot by a woman wanting a date and Syesha gets bleeped when she gives more information than she was supposed to. And there were others, but I was too uninterested to listen. [The word they bleeped on Syesha was "commercial." Guess they don't want us knowing the kids are forced to pimp products.]

Now it's time for Maroon 5, because we only have four kids, two of them have been called safe, and we have 25 more minutes to kill.
_______

Bo Bice is back! I love Bo! But I'm not real fond of his new single. Maybe it needs time to grow on me. He tells the remaining kids to "practice, practice, practice."
_______

All the filler has pushed the show to seven minutes till the hour. Syesha and Castro are standing on the stage with Ryan.

Jason is reminded that he shot the sheriff, spared the deputy and got thoroughly panned for it. Ryan makes a funny about his flubbed lyrics. Jason makes a funny about shooting Mr. Tambourine Man.

Syesha gets her reviews from the night before. No funny remarks about about her tears.

Both of them get to discuss last night. Syesha gets deep and political.

Syesha is told she's getting a parade. Jason applauds and hugs her sweetly. He looks happier than she does.

We all get to remember Jason's journey to the sound of Ruben. And he sings the show out in the wildest, happiest sing out I have ever seen.

So long Jason. You were fun to watch.

Good luck.

they're gonna rock this show...

2008-05-06T19:43:00.003-04:00

"You can rock out on Idol."

Randy Jackson said so earlier this season. And Paula nodded.

And so to prove it, the final four were allowed to frolic in the list (or the pared down list in all probability) of the songs that "shaped rock and roll" according to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Three of them will get parades. One will get to meet Ellen next week.

Because THIS is American Idol.

And after this episode, I will be cleansing my ears. And then I will be trying, again, to figure out how and why they're still insisting that this group is the best group in the history of the show. Cause I am just not seeing it. Or hearing it.

But here they are anyway, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision but, as always, from worst to first, including a four-way tie at the end:

Jason Castro (Tambourine Man). Well, at least he didn't stop and ask the band to restart after forgetting the lyrics. His "lah-lah-lah" was a nice coverup. If anyone suspected last week that Jason wants off of this show, this week that is confirmed. Unfortunately for him Simon tells him to pack his bags, which typically is a call to the phones for many people.

Jason Castro (I Shot the The Sheriff). Simon compares this performance to a first-round audition massacre. Randy calls it a bad Bob Marley karaoke performance. That pretty much sums it up for me.

David Cook (Hungry Like the Wolf). David starts the show and doesn't blow me away like I've come to expect from him. He says in the intro that he's going to "turn the song on its head," and he doesn't come close. He gets a tepid response from the judges, justifiably, but considering he's all but a lock for next week, perhaps he decided this week was the time to play it safe.

Syesha Mercado (Proud Mary). Syesha looks lovely and continues to display that long-hidden personality, but instead of using the Tina Turner rendition of this song as a guide and turning it into Syesha's version, she decides to duplicate Tina, clear down to the choreography. The judges are split, but I am siding with Simon's view that it was an imitiation, even though I think it didn't deserve to be called "shrieky."

[The following four I'm just calling a tie.]

Syesha Mercado (A Change is Gonna Come). This song started promisingly, but the more powerful she tried to make it, the more strident it became. It was better than her first effort, even though Randy pans it, but the Jasmine Trias tears upon Paula's glowing words, followed by Simon's, may have touched the hearts of potential voters everywhere.

David Archuleta (Love Me Tender). So Little David didn't know this song. :::wipes tear::: The beauty of this song, aside from the sweet lyrics, is the glorious melody. And it's one of those songs that really shouldn't be messed with. The judges call in a U-Haul full of praise up to and including Simon's observation that he "crushed" the competition. Sorry Simon, but I beg to differ.

David Archuleta (Stand By Me). Archuleta is fortunate to anchor the first round with this song, because after a bomb and two mediocre outings, this one does stand out, despite the insertion of a little Sean Kingston that I do not think was in the original version. It was not near to the extent that Randy slathers the pimping praise, but little David does take the first round But that's not saying much.

David Cook (Baba O'Reilly). After acknowledging that the judges were right to pan him for his first performance, DC takes his "Les Paul" and delivers another trademark David Cook performance, but on rock night doesn't come close to comparing with his earlier-season performances.

So who's leaving. Well if the voters have any compassion, they'll send Jason on his way, but voters have a history of evil. Might Archuleta's voters sit back and watch Dancing with the Stars, their boy having done "crushed" the competition? Will Syesha's heartfelt and touching tears earn a few phone calls?

I'll call a Jason/Syesha bottom two and predict that one of them will be hitting the talk show circuit starting Thursday.

So what do you think?

CAUTION: song spoilers...

2008-05-06T17:39:00.002-04:00

It's rock and roll night on American Idol, and TMZ has the song selections. (No mention of performance order, not that it matters much when we're down to four kids.)

So if you don't want to know what they're singing, avert your eyes. If you do want to know, keep reading.

Castro: Tambourine Man (Bob Dylan) and I Shot the Sheriff (Eric Clapton)
Cook: Baba O'Reilly (The Who) and Hungry Like a Wolf (Duran Duran)
Archuleta: Stand By Me (Ben E. King) and Love Me Tender (Elvis)
Syesha: Proud Mary (Ike/Tina Turner) and A Change is Gonna Come (Sam Cooke)

This could be interesting. See you then.

odds at four mean tamyra...

2008-05-06T15:10:00.002-04:00

The field is down to four, and that only means one thing: a shocker could be afoot.

Historically this is the week of the unexpected. In season one, Tamyra Gray looked to be a lock for the final three showdown with the other front runners Mr. Guarini and Ms. Clarkson. Little did anyone expect that upstart Nikki McKibbin would turn in two memorable performances to great reviews and Tamyra, after not missing a note throughout the season, would turn in a memorably bad rendition of New Attitude and find herself the first victim of the final four curse and the creator of a new verb.

We still refer to talented contestants waving goodbye while considerably less talented ones remain to sing another day as being tamyra'ed. And fourth place just seems to be the place where all the cool kids hang out. At least in the odd-numbered seasons.

Just ask LaToya London, who got tamyra'ed in season three by the entire state of Hawaii. Or season five's Chris Daughtry, who got blindsided by Elvis.

It's pretty much a consensus that the show is aiming for a battle of the Davids for a season seven finale. Hell, even Simon is going on the record. So that leaves Jason Castro and Syesha Mercado to battle it out for that valuable third spot, the eligibility to make the finale and, most importantly, a trip back home to parades and proclamations.

Or does it? It is an odd-numbered season, after all. And with ratings down, what better way to stir buzz than to see one of the presumed Goliaths struck down by a rock - on rock and roll night.

The spoilers are creeping in and, as usual, Jason's songs have been leaked early. There's no verification, but this source hasn't been wrong all season, and it seems Mr. Castro has chosen I Shot the Sheriff and Mr. Tamborine Man.

TMZ should have the verified song spoilers in a couple of hours, and when they're up, I'll be writing 'em down.

three guys, a girl and rock & roll...

2008-05-02T08:52:00.003-04:00

And there's something in it for each of them.

The reported list is here, but we all know the list of 500 will be pared to about 7.

So, who should sing what?

the psychic network: a SIMULBLOG!...

2008-04-30T20:43:00.008-04:00

It's over. Jason wins.

I read Paula's notes.

Okay so maybe not. But maybe Jason's done. We'll know soon enough who's living and who's dying.

Because it's execution night on American Idol!

And this is a simulblog, which means I'm calling the play-by-play, with a few snarky comments thrown in (okay, so maybe more than a few) as the action is unfolding live on the East Coast (or 2 hours ago in Paula-land), and I'm hitting the publish now button at every break, so if you want to know, stick around. If you don't want to know, go read the 16,593 reviews of Paula-gate. But come back and leave your thoughts on the saga of the final five.

Five will become four and the four are, reportedly, going to sing the "songs that shaped rock and roll." You're welcome David Cook. And since Neil Diamond is making the rounds, hawking his new CD, well, there will be a performance from him too. But he won't be killed. They did enough damage to the man last night.

Hold on to your coke cups kids...the show is about to start!
_______

Ryan tells us over 45 million votes were phoned in. On speed dial, I'm sure.

And we start with a top five group sing. Jason Castro starts with Cracklin' Rosie, handing off to Archuleta, who hands off to Cook, who gives way to the women and Song Sung Blue. And I finally get my Brother Love! And this group, after all these weeks, still cannot get the hang of group harmony. I liked it anyway. Okay, well, I didn't hate it.
_______

Gina Glocksen and Constantine Maroulis are in the audience. They are not dating; they are working together. And Ace Young is there too, but Ryan passes him by because he has to hawk the Underwood stamp.

We get the requisite retrospective of last night's horserace.

And it's time to start the killings.

Jason Castro is called onstage. He's reminded of his reviews, psychic and otherwise, and he's told to head to the sofa of safety.

David Archuleta is summoned. Paula tells him he needs to have more fun. David tells her he will work on having fun. (One has to work at having fun?) He's safe, so he'll have six days to practice the fun stuff.
_______

After a display of the winning Coke cup design and a pimp for Nigel's dancing show, it's time to get back to why we're here.

David Cook is called to join Ryan. He is reminded that Paula anointed him the Idol (and she is psychic, you know). And, no surprise, David is sent to join the guys on the comfy couch.

Syesha Mercado and Brooke White are called out together. Fitting, considering they're this week's bottom feeders.

Both of them are reminded of their reviews, like they're going to get cut before Neil Diamond even makes an appearance. They're sent to the guys' side of the stage to wait it out. Brooke says no problem: "We'll stay as long as we can." Snarky Brooke. I like that.
_______

Natasha Beddingfield is there. She is singing. I like her, but I don't know why she is on this show.

They are taking phone calls. I don't know why. I didn't even miss them last week.

I just keep thinking about all this time that they're wasting that could have been really useful last night.
_______

The Idols are "catching the wind" in a very green Ford commercial. Al Gore will be pleased.

Time for Neil Diamond, because he has a new CD hitting the stores soon! The man truly is brilliant. Awww, his mom came to watch.
_______

Anyone who is paying any attention knows that, barring a shocker, we're headed for a David-squared finale, so the other three are toast, the only question is the order.

Both of the women join Ryan on stage, and he gives Brooke White the bad news. She starts to bawl. Kristy Lee is in the audience smiling. Everyone who rushed to save her last week went back to regular phoning. But she goes out on a strong performance. (We'll just agree to forget the other one.) She gets to watch her journey to the sound of Ruben.

Congratulations Brooke. You did well. Goodbye. And good luck.

hey, hey paula...

2008-04-30T16:46:00.006-04:00

Now you gone and done it. After lamenting the fact that this season's Idol has been virtually free of headline-making controversy, our favorite loopy judge goes and stirs (or was that slurs or was that smokes) the pot, by condeming a performance that hadn't even occurred yet.

The conspiracy theorists are having a field day. The Betty Ford Center is on standby. Ryan Seacrest is doing damage control. And the rest of us are just left shaking our heads.

After all, this is not the first time Paula Abdul's behavior has had us scratching our heads. But this is the first time she's put a contestant at risk, put the show's credibility at risk and, certainly, put herself in one major pile of poop.

Now she is saying she did catch Jason Castro's second song, September Morn, during dress rehearsal and, since the show was running short and she got caught by surprise by having to give a first-round critique, between the notes and her recollection, well, she just got perplexed.

Hey Paula, you were reading your notes about Castro's second song. And you specifically called out his second song, including the quote, "the two songs made me feel like you're not fighting hard enough to get into the top four." Did you take the notes during the rehearsal? Were you even paying attention during the show?

But that's her explanation. Others are not so convinced.

Some think there's nothing to look at here, just crazy Paula who might need a rest from judging. Like, permanently.

Some are convinced that Nigel and Company provided Ms. Abdul with pre-scripted reviews, and, in Idol land, and the universe of Paula, all is not necessarily as it appears.

But one thing is for certain. Last week Paula ripped Brooke White a new one for unprofessionally starting and stopping. I agreed with Paula then. I agree with Paula now.

If you can't handle the pressure of live television, if you can't handle the curves thrown at you during the course of it, if you can't do a one-hour job that you get paid a gazillion dollars to do, maybe it's time for a refresher course in professionalism.

I love Paula's blatherings about shoes and clothes and essences and coconuts, but this was the gaffe heard around the world. And regardless of the reasons, this Sylvia Browne moment has cast a shadow on the legitimacy of the show, far more dark than a thousand Corey Clarks could ever do.

diamond night: idols on speed...

2008-04-29T19:38:00.003-04:00

It's down to five kids. It's up to two songs each. And the diamonds in the rough meet the Diamond for all ages.

It's Neil Diamond. On American Idol!

And so to honor his visit, the intrepid and always brilliant producers decide to cram ten songs into one hour, rushing the kids through the first round so poorly that none of the first round performances had the time to make any impression. Hell, they even shut the judges up until the five performances had concluded, which played havoc on Paula's fragile mental state.

I have watched every episode of every season. This was, without comparison, the poorest excuse for a performance episode ever. If they're going to insist upon selling 45 minutes of commercials and yet have the five remaining kids singing two songs each, expand the show to 90 minutes or stick to single performances and give the kids a few extra seconds of stage time.

This was unforgiveable.

But here they are, my initial impressions, subject to review and revision after a night of rest and reflection, cause honestly I couldn't keep up and don't wanna watch again so soon, but they are, as always, from worst to first.

Brooke White (I'm a Believer). Brooke chooses a guitar for this song, and starts horribly off-key, probably because she's singing far lower than she's comfortably able. I've decided they're rushing the first round of songs to fit the show into one hour and still have time for 45 minutes of commercials, because there is no nuance to the song. But there are a lot of Whoos!

Jason Castro (Forever in Blue Jeans). With his guitar in hand, Jason opened the show and struggled a tad, it seemed, with his key, before finding it quickly enough to deliver a standard, not extraordinary nor memorable, rendition of the song. It has seemed, of late, that Jason's main goal is to get his song over in the quickest way possible.

Jason Castro (September Morn). I'm trying to decide if Jason simply thinks this show is getting old, or if he just wants to go home.

Syesha Mercado (Thank the Lord for the Nighttime). Syesha still has lost the shoes, but has added the background singers to the stage. Nice touch. Too bad they can't save this song, a very poor choice of song with only five singers remaining.

David Archuleta (America). The only thing missing from this performance was the Statue of Liberty arising from the mosh pit (preferably wiping out a few dozen of the waving maniacs along the way). Simon was right; it was a clever song choice, but, despite the fact that it was flat throughout, it was typical Archuleta. The song is the same. Only the words (and occasionally the tempo) changes.

David Archuleta (Sweet Caroline). In David's first choice of the night, had I not known the lyrics I would never had recognized the song. It wasn't until he hit the chorus that it started to resemble anything remotely like the original.

Syesha Mercado (Hello Again). Syesha again gets points for bare feet and starts her first song sitting at the edge of the stage. Her vocals are strong, she's by far the best of the two women tonight, but because they're rushing this show so mercilessly, it all just seemed very forced. And fake. And that's not necessarily her fault.

David Cook (I'm Alive). Neil Diamond tells DC that he gave him goosebumps, but that he's choosing songs nobody's ever heard of. I know this song though, and David turns in a fine, if rushed version of it, staying true to the Diamond version but giving it the traditional Cook twist.

Brooke White (I Am ... I Said). This was very nice, even though it was a bit rushed, but that's the recurring theme of the night. It's very heartfelt, but that's Brooke's strong suit, even when her notes fail her. Or the lyrics. But neither did.

David Cook (All I Really Need is You). I know what's going on my iPod first thing tomorrow. Or whenever it's available. In a poorly-executed, chaotic and underperformed night, this was the highlight. But that's getting to be the tradition this season.

So, who's on the bubble?

With only five singers, they'll pull out a bottom two. And considering it's gonna take a Mack truck and the national guard to get either of the Davids off the show, the other three just have to survive at this point, and Brooke may have just done enough.

Therefore, I'll predict, not that I'm ever right, that Jason and Syesha will hit the stools and Jason will win out by a dreadlock. Not that he deserves to.

So, what did you think?

CAUTION: song spoilers...

2008-04-29T17:48:00.002-04:00

It's Neil Diamond night! Yay! And the kids are singing double duty.

TMZ has the spoilers, so here they are. No word on performance order, though. So if you don't want to know, leave. Leave quickly!

Brooke White: I Am, I Said & I'm a Believer.
Syesha Mercado: Thank the Lord for the Nighttime & Hello Again.
Jason Castro: Forever in Blue Jeans & September Morn.
David Archuleta: Sweet Caroline & America.
David Cook: I'm Alive & All I Really Need is You.

So there you have it. Three hours and counting. See you then.

news & notes...

2008-04-27T08:21:00.004-04:00

It's down to the final five - where has the time gone? - and people are still buzzing about the surprise ouster of Carly Smithson in the sixth position when most agree that Carly was on a rebound after some weak early-season performances and Brooke White is on the downslope, especially after her second do-over in six weeks.

Was it her song choice? Some people think so. After all, Jesus Christ Superstar is a 38-year-old rock opera and if one doesn't know the story of the character who is singing the title song, asking the questions the song does, the standalone lyrics might be off-putting to some. We went through this four decades ago after all.

While I do agree that some voters who might have voted for Carly could have changed their minds, something just tells me that most undecided voters might have rushed to save Brooke in her moment of trouble. This show is not new. Voter behavior is not new. We've all become accustomed to the need to save the downtrodden one after a blunderous performance, which is why, more often than not, struggling singers have been booted after giving, sometimes, the best performance of their tenure.

It might have been the song. But I don't buy it.

It's Neil Diamond week for the remaining five, and, if tradition serves, each of them will be singing two songs. And there are more than enough Diamond songs from which to choose. I'm going on record now to say that whichever one of them chooses ~~Dr.~~ Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show, will get all of my votes. So, who should sing what?

Ratings for this season have been down. But that's down on the American Idol scale. They're still ratings that any other show on the planet would sell their mother for. And some people think they know why, including the lack of a Sanjaya and the tragic lack of nekkid pictures on the internet.

I knew there was something missing this year.

And while we're waiting for Tuesday, and since yesterday's Clay/Ruben finale aired on AI Rewind has me waxing all nostalgic, check out Michael Slezak's 15 greatest Idol performances, complete with video and including this season. And then, for giggles, treat yourself to the 10 worst.

That should give us all something to pass the time until performance night.

6 is one too many: a SIMULBLOG!...

2008-04-23T20:40:00.009-04:00

It was a night to remember. Jesus Christ, the superstar, whooped a Cat. There was a Phantom named David (x2) who beat the crap outta Evita and Syesha danced barefoot on a piano.

Wait a minute. Let me start over. I'm sorry.

THIS is American Idol.

And this is a SIMULBLOG, where I'm typing without any do-overs as the action is unfolding on the east coast, with a publish at every break, so if you want to be spoiled, hang tight and keep hitting the refresh (do-over?) button. But if you want to be surprised, it's time to go. But come back and dish about the results with the rest of us.

Because the field's gonna get cut to the five lucky kids who get to sing the songs of Neil Diamond next week. And the killing is about to begin!
_______

Ryan tells us over 38 million votes rolled in, right before he plants a kiss on Simon's head. Eww.

The kids, with Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber at the piano, warble through That's All I Ask of You. And the stupid moshers are waving their stupid arms. Knock it off moshers. That's all I ask. And a medley. With a gazillion Broadway musicals to the man's credit and an hour to kill, one would at least expect a medley that would allow each of the six to have a crack at a solo. But no.

I want a do-over.

Caution: I'm kinda cranky tonight.

They're pimping the tour already. And since Andrew Lloyd Webber isn't hawking a CD, we are treated to a Q&A between he and Ryan. He has been, without question, one of the best mentors this show has ever had. And he says, essentially, that Brooke has a future and Jason is, well, Jason.
_______

Very imaginative Ford commercial. Very interesting hairstyles. Tainted Love, indeed.

And they're still patting themselves on the back for IGB. This time it's with GWB and Laura.

Tonight it's gonna be bottom two, cause there's only two stools, room enough only for two bottoms.

The Davids are summoned together.

David Cook is given his reviews from the night before. Lava, hot, molten, stuff like that. David Archuleta is given his reviews. Simon is given a chance to explain his mean words. Cook says he wanted to be unpredictable by actually singing the song as it was written. Archuleta stumbles and fumbles through. And, not surprisingly, both are sent to the safety of the sofa.

The other four watch the monitor from backstage. And we're given fair warning that Leona Lewis is in the house.
_______

We get to visit with Clay Aiken and Tamyra Gray! On Broadway! One in Spamalot and the other in Rent. And LaKisha is in the house too!

Leona sings. I would have rather heard Phil Stacey, who also has a new CD out. Or Josh Gracin, who is also debuting a new CD.

It's time to do some cutting.

Syesha and Brooke are called center stage. Syesha Mercado is reminded of her reviews after her best performance of the season. Brooke White is reminded that she wasn't so good. Brooke is told she's safe. And Syesha is told to sit on the stool. There's just always something about a pissy performance that brings out the support and something about a kick-ass performance that lulls voters into complacency. Ah well. Lessons.

Castro and Carly are left waiting. Cause we got commercials to air!
_______

Carly and Castro have arrived to the stage. They are reminded of their reviews. Jason is told he's safe and Carly is sent to join Syesha on the stools.

Well, at least whichever one leaves leaves after a really good performance. That's always a good thing. And they're both gonna sing once more, because there's too much time left.

Carly gets a chance to redeem her lyrical missteps from last night, and she does so. Syesha doesn't have a piano, so she uses the judges' station as a ramp. And, after a weak start, performs possibly better than the night before.

Both of them look terrified. Randy blames that blasted popularity vote. Carly is told that she's headed home. Silence hits the audience before the groans take over.

She and we watch her journey to the sound of Ruben Studdard.

Hmm. I won't say it's a shocker, because it isn't. But I won't say that it's fair.

So long Carly. And good luck.

and 6 of them praise the lord...

2008-04-22T19:46:00.003-04:00

It's Andrew Lloyd Webber night, as the final six sing the songs of the Lord in a halfway salute to Broadway and a full-on salute to one of the most brilliant composers of our time. The kids even score a free trip to Vegas to work with the Lord, who admits he's been an idol virgin until last week when he caught his first episode.

The Lord's music wasn't kind on most of the kids, but, again, they're trying out to be pop stars, not Broadway legends, so at least none of them got criticized for being too Broadway. They just got criticized for being crappy. Or forgetting lyrics and expecting an entire band to stop and start over.

So here they are, my impressions as I'm watching, complete with the occasional typo but as always, from worst to first:

Jason Castro (Memory from Cats). Okay, so Jason didn't know that this song, from the musical Cats, was sung by a, uhhh, cat. We should have known what we were gonna get. His breathiness is distracting. And I think he misses more notes than he completes, he's so far out of his comfort zone he just got a new zip code. Randy calls it a trainwreck. That pretty much sums it up.

Brooke White (You Must Love Me from Evita). After a mini-lesson in Argentinian history, Brooke says she "gets" the message behind this song, but unfortunately she doesn't "get" the start, decides to stop the band and start over. Again. She is the only contestant in the history of the show to stop and start, and now she's done it twice. And Paula justifiably crawls her butt for it. The other judges crawl her butt for her vocals and defend her decision to restart, even though she admits that she "lost the lyric." But continuing in a string of weak performances, Brooke may have just written her obituary.

Syesha Mercado (One Rock & Roll Too Many from Starlight Express). Syesha gets stuck in the fatal opening spot. And she gets points for the bare feet and the guts to start standing on the piano and in 90 seconds shows more personality than she has in the last two months. Randy calls her performance her best to date, and despite a handful of really sour notes, I can't help but agree.

David Archuleta (Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera). Andrew Lloyd Webber tells Archuleta to open his eyes. Thank you Lord Lloyd Webber. And he chooses a snoozer of a song. Randy and Paula drool all over him, but I'm siding with Simon. It was bland, simply pleasant, but certainly not memorable. What young David could have done with another choice.

Carly Smithson (Jesus Christ Superstar from Jesus Christ Superstar). Brooke could take some lessons about missing lyrics and moving on, as she fluffs (or intentionally altered?) many of them at the front of the song. Simon calls her a bit screechy at times. But when hasn't she been. I like Carly when she's having fun. And it didn't hurt that she was the only one to choose from my favorite ALW work.

David Cook (Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera). David plays this number straight, even through being told to look longingly into the eyes of the 17-year-old beauty Andrew Lloyd Webber. And, despite some rough patches that are common with his lower register and a final note that could have been avoided, he wraps up the show for the second time in the finals with the best performance of the night.

So who is leaving? I don't know anything but the fact that the two Davids are safe. So I will just flip a metaphorical coin.

Who I want: Brooke, Jason, Syesha
Who should: Brooke, Jason, Syesha
Who will: Brooke, Jason, Syesha

Jason could be in some real trouble, and Syesha seems to have a significant fan base, so there might just been a flood of tears on the stage. Brooke says goodbye.

So, who's in your bottom three?

CAUTION: song spoilers...

2008-04-22T17:54:00.002-04:00

It's Andrew Lloyd Webber's night on Idol, so there better not be any "better suited for Broadway" cracks from the panel of picky ones.

The song spoilers are below, so if you don't wanna know, don't read any further.

Syesha: One Rock & Roll Too Many (Starlight Express). And reports say that she's leading off, which has been deadly this season.

David Cook: Music of the Night (Phantom of the Opera). And he's wearing a "special jacket."

Carly: Jesus Christ Superstar. We're either gonna love it or, well, not.

Brooke: You Must Love Me (Evita). We just may not, Brooke.

Castro: Memory (Cats). No ukulele required. Please.

Archuleta: Think of Me (Phantom of the Opera).

So there they are.

See you tonight.

with 6 you get two: a SIMULBLOG...

2008-04-16T20:45:00.010-04:00

Two songs anyway. After tonight we'll be treated to not one, but multiple performances from the lucky hangers-on, because when we're finished we'll be down to half the field. Finally. And in this year of gender parity, it seems fairly likely that tonight's victim will be female. Or at least she better be.

Because THIS is American Idol. And we kill people here. Or at least we try to kill their hopes and dreams along with their self-esteem. (At least the MJ fans think so.)

And this is a SIMULBLOG where I'm throwing away all self-censorship and typing as the action is happening live on the East Coast, with a publish at every significant break, so if you want to know, stick around and uncensor yourself. If you want to remain pure and unspoiled, then go. But come back and rant, rave or revel in the outcome.

All seven of them broke the cardinal rule about not singing Mariah Carey because she threatened to sing all 117 octives in their ear if they didn't. And Mariah is in the house, along with one of our favorite Idols evah, Mr. Elliott Yamin. So I can deal with the insipid phone calls if my man Elliott is gonna sing.

Ryan tells us almost 36 million votes were phoned in Tuesday. And they go immediately to the crappy group song. One Sweet Day, they sing. Pretty much separately. And their separate performances really highlight how crappy this group is as a, well, group. That was really not good.
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There is only one week left to vote in the All-American Crappy Coronation Song Contest (ACCSC)! Get to it voters!

We are made to watch the high and lowlights from last night's performance episode. At least they make them interesting by showing us bits and pieces of behind-the-scenes commentary from the kids. Brooke tells Simon that it hurt her feeling knowing that she was just an empty bun, for instance.

Time to get "down to business."

Jason Castro is summoned to join Ryan. He's reminded of his reviews and, as we expected, they're separating them into "groups." Jason starts "team Jason."

David Cook is called in. He says he was overwhelmed by the events of the week. He captains "team David", the team that all of the kool kids want to be in.

Carly Smithson is called in. She tells Simon he's been too tough on her this season. Simon tries to explain. Carly is sent to join Team Jason.

Kristy Lee Cook comes out. She is told she's on Team David.

Elliott is next! YAY!
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It's the crappy Ford commercial. The kids are puppets wanting the break free. Thankfully they found scissors.

Elliott takes the stage and Sway Penala joins Kenya and the background singers with Free. Claudette, Elliott's mom, who passed away recently, gets well-deserved remembrance. Season five, after all, would have not been season five without her. Good job Elliott.

The teams continue to be formed.

Syesha Mercado is told to join Carly on Team Jason.

Brooke White is told to join Team David, leaving little Archuleta, who waits backstage, to choose between the groups.
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Yay. Phone calls. I simply will not comment.

Mariah Carey sings Bye Bye. And, if her post-performance antics are any indication, she spent the first half of the show sipping out of Paula's cup.
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Let's get to the reason we're here!

Archuleta is brought to the stage, between Team David with Kristy and Brooke and Team Jason with Carly and Syesha. Archuleta is told he's safe.

Ryan tells David Cook to swap places with Syesha. I guess that means Team David is now Team Syesha. Hell, I'm confused.

Archuleta sits cross-legged the minute he's told to join the safe team. Ryan drags Team Jason/David/Carly to the squatter, leaving the bottom dwellers, Brooke, Syesha and Kristy.

After a commercial, Kristy, Brooke and Syesha stand center stage. Ryan sends Syesha back to the sofa to join her friends, the kook kids. Brooke and Kristy are all huggy. Randy says he can't call this week. Paula babbles. Simon avoids any more hamburger analogies.

Ryan tells Brooke she's safe and, after countless escapes from eviction, Kristy Lee Cook gets booted. How nice for her, though, that it was after a really good performance.

There are many many tears. We watch her journey as she listens to Ruben.

She makes the most of her final sing. Good girl Kristy. And good luck.

She better get her damn horse back.

this just in...

2008-04-16T07:47:00.005-04:00

For all of us Elliott Yamin fans who were a bit bummed not to have seen him perform on AGB, good news!

He'll be back on the Idol stage tonight, performing. Evidentially the deal was finalized just last night to have one of the show's most beloved Idols return. And for those of us who were dreading an hour of Mariah Carey and phone calls actually have something to look forward to, aside from the inevitable boot of one of the women.

Don't worry Mariah fans; she is still slated to sing. After all, she has a CD to sell. But this is Idol, this is an Idol blog, and around these parts we prefer our alumni to all the folks that Randy Jackson has ever met in his entire lifetime.

Elliott again. Hmm. I do believe that makes more non-finale appearances from season 5's third-place finisher than we've had from the same season's final two. Combined.

See you tonight!

the saga of seven divas...

2008-04-15T19:50:00.004-04:00

After years of being warned against trying to emulate Miss Whitney, Miss Celine and Miss Mariah Carey, the seven remaining season seven kids are being forced to attempt the big voice. Something about all of this just doesn't seem fair.

But who cares? Because THIS is American Idol. And "fair" ain't a word we use in the same sentence.

Okay, I'll be honest from the get go. I've read the spoilers, and, aside from two of the song selections, I don't have a clue about Mariah Carey music. (And in fairness, one of the selections - Without You - was much better in its original version. In my opinion, of course.)

And who woulda thunk that three guys would have mopped the floor with four gals on Mariah night?

But it's time for the slaughter, so here they are, my impressions, written live while they're occurring, so no snide remarks about the typos, please, and, as usual, from worst to first:

Brooke White (Hero). Brooke is still lamenting the fact that she had to miss her sister's wedding. Then she decides to destroy one of the few Mariah Carey songs I like, missing notes throughout and relying on just the piano. This was one time I think she would have been more effective standing alone at the microphone and allowing the band to complement the vocal. The judges dissolve into a discussion of meat and buns while Brooke stands looking typically perplexed.

Syesha Mercado (Vanishing). Mariah says Syesha made a wise song choice, which is probably true considering Syesha's tendency toward big vocals. Personally, I don't like the song, but I'm not sure that's because of Syesha. Randy gives her a thumbs half up, Paula speaks Paula and Simon questions her choice of an unknown song while praising her technical ability, but makes sure to tell her that she's no David Archuleta.

Kristy Lee Cook (Forever). Kristy continues to impress me. And while Randy was right that there were a few iffy moments, especially in the front of her performance when she was struggling with the lower register, the end more than made up for the start. She will survive another week, but she continues to earn her ticket forward rather than just skating through.

Carly Smithson (Without You). Carly makes sure everyone knows how much the kids miss the newly-departed Michael Johns. And she chooses the much over-sung-on-this-show song that Kelly Clarkson made her mark on, so not only will she be judged against Mariah, but she will be judged against former idols. All three judges comment that she's holding back, perhaps out of caution, and lavish her with praise that could be only describe as tepid. I think that Clarkson and London have nothing to fear.

Jason Castro (I Don't Wanna Cry). I don't know this song, so I have nothing on which to base this, and it wasn't my favorite Jason performance, but as Simon said at the end of his review, the guys at their worst were better than the girls at their best.

David Archuleta (When You Believe). David #1 gets the lead-off spot (a cursed spot over the course of this season), and suffers from the traditional drowning out of his vocals by the band and background singers. But the vocals that do rise above the background are typically David, everything we've come to expect from the kid. The judges fawn over him while I can't help but wonder if and/or when he will ever depart from the inspiring ballad path that he's chosen.

David Cook (Always Be My Baby). And here I thought the guys would be inherently at a disadvantage. After a bit of a scare at the front of this song, David #2 takes it into typical DC world, causing Randy to stand for the first time this season, Paula to spout more Paula-isms and Simon to declare the show finally free from karaoke hell.

So there they are, for what they're worth. Now it's your turn to critique. But not before the predictions that are as reliable as, well, the weather. I will say this now, though: if there is not an all-male final three, based on the competition thus far, something is terribly rotten somewhere in Denmark.

Who I want: three girls, I don't care which ones.
Who should: Brooke, Carly, Syesha
Who will: Brooke, Carly, Syesha

As much as I think Brooke should leave after two very disappointing weeks, I think Syesha may have reached the end of her line tonight.

So, what do you think?